I hit 9,000 followers on Twitter recently! Hoping to get to 10K in 2019. My crew on there is such a beloved part of my day and I enjoy sharing my weird thoughts with them. Here are 8 of my favorite things I tweeted this year…
Me: “Can I have another finger in me?”
FWB: “Why, what’s wrong with this one?”
Me: “…No, I mean an ADDITIONAL finger”— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) January 9, 2018
I still cry with laughter whenever I think about this exchange, honestly. Bless my FWB.
how to properly react to a selfie of me pic.twitter.com/nYXao3uv1a
— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) May 24, 2018
My Sir really knows what I like to hear.
Polyamory isn’t “having your cake and eating it too,” it’s managing to bake more than one cake at a time through sheer skill and finesse, and then checking in with all the cakes continuously to make sure they’re all okay with being eaten as part of a multi-cake feast.
— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) May 1, 2018
This was one of my most popular tweets of the year. Lots of replies mentioned that this multi-cake feast would involve a lot of Google Calendar scheduling. #polyjokes
Me: Which dress should I wear today?
Sir: The vintage Betty Dodson.
Me: WHAT
Sir: I’m just kidding, I know it’s by Betsey Johnson, I just thought that would make you laugh.
— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) August 4, 2018
Some of my favorite tweets this year were conversations between me and my Sir, or just hilarious things he’s said – see, for example, these classics about bottoming skills, lube in butts, wax play, sext grammar, stand-up comedy, and croissants. This Johnson/Dodson joke really cracks me up, though, because it is exactly the kind of joke that only someone I adored would make: a silly pun necessitating nerdy niche knowledge. I love this boy.
the verb is “hook up”
the noun is “hookup”
the adjective is “disappointing”— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) April 30, 2018
I am probably as cynical about casual sex these days as I have ever been in my life, and this joke really captures that.
Me after taking a while to come: “Thank you. You’re a good man.”
Sir: “Yeah, what a good man, he likes fucking his girlfriend. 🙄 The bar is so low.”
😂 It’s true tho— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) July 22, 2018
“My boyfriend trash-talking shitty men” is one of my favorite genres of comedy.
Maybe if I turn my Hitachi Magic Wand up loud enough, it’ll drown out the unsolicited whining of Men on the Internet.
— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) March 20, 2018
I want this printed on a T-shirt and I want to wear that T-shirt all of the time.
Sent BF a draft of a thing I wrote about him and he said, “It made me hard and then it made me cry.” The best reaction I could possibly hope for.
— Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) April 12, 2018
This is what I aim for with most of my writing. It’s what I hope to continue to aim for in 2019. Auld wang syne, am I right?