2014: A Year in Review

Photo by Randy Tan

Dear darlings: I hope your 2014 has been fabulous and that your 2015 will be even better. I already have lots of exciting things planned for the year ahead and I bet you do, too!

Thank you so much for sticking with me this year, reading what I write, engaging with me on Twitter and in my comments section, offering your suggestions and support, and giving me a space in which to do what I love best: publicly think big thoughts about sex.

I really do feel grateful for you, and for this space, every day. This blog has been around for over two and a half years and it has been a more creatively fulfilling and intellectually stimulating time in my life than any other!

All that said – here are my favorite blog posts I wrote this year. It’s been a weird and wonderful writing year for me!

Sex Toys

• My first post of the year was my review of the Jimmyjane Little Chroma, a toy I accused of deceptive marketing, among other things. (To this day, it sits in one of my drawers, untouched since I finished that review…)

• Another toy I hated this year: the dreadful, agonizing Lelo Ida. The pain may have been worth it, though, because my experiences with the Ida made for a good disaster story to tell at sexy storytelling event Tell Me Something Good, which I guest-judged in December.

• Inspired by a friend who says she doesn’t like vibrators because they feel like “having sex with a robot,” I wrote about reasons some people hate vibrators and possible solutions to those problems.

• My favorite review I wrote this year was my comparison between the Aslan Jaguar and RodeoH harnesses. It was fun to write, and it was even more fun to model these two gorgeous harnesses for the photos!

• I listed my top 5 all-time favorite dildos and explained why each is indispensable to my solo sex life. All hail great dongs!


• Some friends of mine founded Spit and I reviewed it. Spoiler alert: I loved it. And since I wrote that review, they have delved into the world of video: check out this hot Scarlet and Calvin scene and Emma getting frisky with a pomegranate!

• As always, I had a wonderful time at Feminist Porn Week, so I wrote about the highlights. Periodically I still look at that picture of Dylan Ryan and Danny Wylde and just sigh in contented disbelief that I was ever in a room with those two eloquent stunners.

• I reviewed Erika Lust’s XConfessions site and swooned over the splendid visuals and hot premises. Yum yum.

How-To Guides and Lists

• My most popular post of the year, bar none, was the piece I wrote about how to fulfill your fetish online without being an asshole. It seems to have struck a chord with fetishists and harassment victims alike. If one of your 2015 resolutions is to be a kinder, more respectful person in the sexual realm, you might want to give this one a read. (And if you’ve resolved, instead, to be less of a doormat when people harass you, feel free to forward them the link!)

• Another very popular post of mine this year was my guide to accepting desire when you feel insecure. I hope to write more about the intersection between sexuality and self-love in the new year, since I think it’s an incredibly important topic and one that many people struggle with.

• Ever wonder how to make yourself more attractive? I wrote 10 quick tips. And none of them demand that you starve yourself, go to the gym more, slather on makeup, or put on a fake personality to appease potential suitors. Fuck that noise!

• In an attempt to bridge the gap between my twin interests in makeup and sex, I tested and wrote about the best lipsticks to wear while giving a blowjob. I’ve received several tweets and emails since then from people who’ve bought the products I recommended and are loving them. Yay!

• Having been a hardcore journal-writer since practically infancy, I felt qualified to tell you how to journal your way to a better sex life. Amazing what a little self-reflection can do.

Personal Posts

• In February I experimented with breath and energy orgasms, as per the advice in Barbara Carrellas’ excellent book Urban Tantra. I didn’t have a full-on orgasm from these techniques and still haven’t, but breathwork has nonetheless become an important part of my orgasmic practice. (Hang tight, I might write more about that soon!)

• In March, this blog turned two years old, and I wrote about 10 things I learned since starting my blog.

• I suffered a bout of constipation and somehow managed to cure it with a butt plug and some lube. (This was perhaps my most embarrassing, “TMI” post of the year. It felt, and still feels, scary to have that kind of thing up on the internet. But this whole blog is a constant exercise in shamelessness and fearlessness and I think that’s a good thing!)

• When my 3.5-years-long relationship ended in August, I wrote about the joys of the single life. In 2015 I’m looking forward to continuing my current uncoupled state and thinking very carefully before jumping into any new relationships. If it does happen, I want it to be really, really right. Otherwise, what’s the point?

I went off hormonal birth control and my mental health immediately and massively improved. And I was mad about it.

• I didn’t have a very adventurous sex life this year, so maybe the most extreme thing I did was sell my panties to a stranger. It was fun and the money was decent, so I hope to do it more in 2015!

What were your biggest achievements this year? What do you hope to do next year?