Sometimes people ask me why I don’t do much in-person sex education work – workshops, motivational speaking, and so on – and the reason is that I don’t feel I’ve really found my “niche” yet. My oeuvre doesn’t have a central focus within the sexuality field, the way, say, JoEllen writes about sex and depression or Drew talks about sex and disability.
However, if there’s one niche topic I’m uniquely known for, it’s the A-spot. I get tweets, comments and emails from people all the time, telling me I helped them identify that strange spot deep inside them that brings them so much pleasure. The A-spot barely gets any hype compared to its shallower neighbor, the G-spot – and yet, my interactions with readers have shown me that it’s a highly erogenous zone for a lot of people. I’m happy to be a one-woman PR machine for this underrated spot if it means getting the word out and bringing more pleasure to the world!
The number-one question I get about the A-spot is, “What are the best toys for finding and stimulating it?” So I’ve put together this guide to A-spot toys, because dammit, you guys deserve terrific orgasms.
General Shape and Size Considerations
So here’s the deal. The A-spot is waaaay deep inside the vagina, right in front of the cervix. This means that, as with G-spot toys, you’re going to want something that curves forward/upward, toward your belly button – but A-spot toys need to be longer, since your G-spot’s usually about 2-3 inches past the vaginal entrance and the A-spot will typically be another 2-3 inches past that (depending on arousal level, where you are in your cycle, and how high or low your cervix is generally).
The depth of the A-spot also means it responds best to toys with a gentle or small curve, not a drastic one. G-spot toys like the Pure Wand can’t do double-duty as A-spot toys, because they curve so intensely that they can’t get deep enough inside the vagina.
Additionally, because the A-spot is tucked away in front of the pain-sensitive cervix, you’re generally gonna want something with a narrow or tapered tip that can slide up in there. A toy that’s too wide will bump into the cervix and/or stop short of the A-spot. So, even if you’re ordinarily a girth enthusiast, you’ll want to size down somewhat if you’re seeking your A-spot.
The Tantus Tsunami will hold a special place in my heart forever, because it’s the toy that first introduced me to my A-spot. It has a slight curve right at the tip, which enables it to curl up in front of my cervix without bumping it. It’s also relatively slender at the tip and thicker through the rest of the shaft, which means the rest of my girth-loving vagina doesn’t have to go unsatisfied.
I also occasionally like realistic (read: cock-like) silicone dildos for A-spot purposes. The important factors are (as stated above) sufficient length, a slight curve, and a tapered tip. My faves are the Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1 and VixSkin Mustang. (The Mustang is also a killer G-spot dildo, when thrusted a little more shallowly, so it gets my Multi-Talented Toy seal of approval!)
As with most internal erogenous zones, my A-spot likes a relatively firm touch, so glass is a good material for stroking it. The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon is one of my all-time favorite A-spot whisperers: the slight curve at its tip lets it meander past my cervix just right. If you buy a G-Spoon for this purpose, make sure to order a medium or large one, so it’ll be long enough to get deep inside you.
Fucking Sculptures also makes the Double Trouble, arguably my favorite dildo of all time. Its thinner end hits my A-spot more consistently and pleasurably than any other toy in my collection. This is something of a mystery to me, since the Dub Trubz is super girthy (Sunny Megatron calls it “Fisting Lite“) and theoretically shouldn’t be able to slide past my cervix – and yet, it unmistakably strokes the fuck out of my A-spot. Something about its shape and angle just makes it inexplicably perfect for this task – provided you, like me, can handle its size.
For a cheaper and less dicey glass option, I recommend the Icicles #53. It has a tapered, slightly tilted head that can zero in on the A-spot with ease, and it retails for under $30. While it isn’t as luxurious as Fucking Sculptures’ artisanal offerings, it is simple and gets the job done.
It can be tricky to reach the A-spot, whether you’re doing it yourself or having a partner do it for you. I’ve recently become obsessed with the Liberator Jaz as a solution to this problem. Slide it under your hips and it’ll elevate your butt and pelvis just right – not only for A-spot exploration but also for G-spot play, PIV sex, butt stuff, or pretty much any other precarious genital maneuver. (A pillow or two can achieve a similar effect for cheaper, but Liberator products hold their shape better than pillows and just do a better job overall, so I’d recommend ’em over pillows if you can afford it.)
Similarly to G-spot play, you might find you get a better sensation if you angle the base of your dildo downward (toward your butt) so that the tip makes better contact with your spot. I find it’s easier to have a partner do this than to do it yourself – plus it’s sooooo fun when someone is fucking you with a dildo and they find the perfect spot and get all excited about your sudden moans/screams/eyes rolling back in your head. (Umm, it’s possible that A-spot stimulation turns me into Regan MacNeil.)
Betcha could’ve guessed I’d recommend you use lube, huh?! “MORE LUBE” is basically the battle cry of the sex educator. But seriously, it helps. The more lubrication there is inside your vag, the more room you have to move around and the more comfortable you’ll tend to be.
That said: I’d also recommend you try A-spot stimulation sans lube at least a couple times, just to see if that feels different/better for you. I tend to skip lube when I use my Double Trouble because the presence of a little friction allows it to “pull” on my vaginal walls in a way that’s really pleasing to my A-spot. (Errr, this is a difficult thing to explain in words. Just trust me, sometimes strategic dryness is a good thing.) Extra lubrication is also a known effect of A-spot play, so don’t be alarmed if you find yourself juicier than usual when touching this spot.
The cervix is like the socially awkward friend who the A-spot brings to parties and sometimes has to babysit all night. Which is a roundabout metaphorical way of saying: unfortunately, your cervix has to be in a good mood for your A-spot to have any fun. For certain people, there are times in their hormonal cycle when their cervix might dip particularly low and/or be particularly sensitive to pain, and those times might not be ideal for A-spot play. It’s okay; you’ll just appreciate the pleasures of A-spot stimulation extra hard when you can experience them again.
When using toys on my A-spot, I tend to use small in-and-out motions, rather than big sweeping thrusts or scooping/rocking motions. However, as always, your mileage may vary, and you should experiment with different modes of movement to see what feels best for you.
I highly recommend incorporating clitoral stimulation when you play with your A-spot. These two things feel excellent separately and that excellence increases exponentially when you combine them. Like many people, I can’t come without clitoral involvement, so when I say I have “A-spot orgasms,” what I really mean is that I have blended clitoral/A-spot orgasms. And they are my very favorite orgasms my body is capable of. Unf.
Finally: please don’t feel bad if, despite knowing all this stuff and trying it out, you still don’t really respond to A-spot stimulation. Like any other erogenous zone on the body, it can be amazing for some people and totally “meh” for others. You are not broken or weird if your A-spot doesn’t respond to touch, or even if you actively dislike being touched there. Pursue what actually gives you pleasure, not what’s “supposed to” give you pleasure!
Those of you who have discovered the wonders of the A-spot: what are your favorite toys, tools and techniques for making your spot feel good?