Anonymous asked: How do I give a good handjob?
Hey Anon, you’re in luck! I’m actually a bit of a handjob aficionado. I attended a workshop on the subject a few months ago, and since then, it’s been one of my favorite sexual acts – and if my boyfriend’s reactions are any indication, I’m pretty good with my hands.
The instructor at the workshop I attended stressed that the three most important elements of a good handjob are lube, variety, and pressure.
Lube is crucial for most guys. Some men, especially uncircumcised ones, won’t require lube to enjoy a handjob, but it provides a different and pleasant sensation that they may not replicate very often when they’re alone, so it’s worth including even if it’s not strictly necessary. My favorite lube for handjobs is Pjur Original Bodyglide – it was the recommended choice at the workshop I went to, and has turned out to be brilliant for this purpose.
Variety is very important because it’s something that most men don’t typically give themselves when they masturbate. I mean, think about it – when you get your own rocks off, you probably mainly focus on the one or two or three techniques that definitely work, without taking any time to experiment. A handjob shouldn’t be a step-by-step re-creation of what the guy does when he’s alone; it should be a re-imagination of what a hand can do to a penis. Mix it up, try different strokes, pay attention to his reactions!
Pressure isn’t a big deal to my boyfriend (he’s uncut and way more sensitive than most guys, so he prefers a looser grip), but most guys are into it. I read a study about the various sexual complaints that men and women have about each other, and one of them was that many men wish women would use more pressure. Don’t employ a vice grip (unless that’s what he likes!) but don’t be afraid to squeeze a little.
One useful trick I’ve learned: establish with your partner that “10” means the pressure is perfect, a lower number means your grip is too weak, and a higher number means you’re choking his dick. Periodically check in with him, asking him to rate the pressure on that scale. It won’t take long for you to learn what his happy medium feels like.
Remember that foreplay and build-up are not just for women – many men like that stuff too! It’s more than okay to spend several minutes teasing his nipples, thighs, pubic mound, balls, lower shaft, etc. before going for the gold. This will increase his sensitivity before you even really get started, making for a more intense eventual climax.
I asked my boyfriend what he values in a handjob, and he said he loves it when I delay the orgasm. As I said before, a handjob should be an exploration of techniques your man might miss when he’s in control of his own stimulation – and since my fella takes a maximum of five minutes to jerk off, I usually try to stave off his ejaculation for at least ten minutes. I build him up to the plateau phase, then back off and do some less intense techniques for a while, like ball-play or stroking his shaft – and then I do it all over again, a few times. This leads to a way more intense orgasm in the end.
Also, keep in mind that there are lots of things you can do to enhance his experience, other than just stroking his cock. I love giving handjobs so much that I usually end up humping my man’s thigh and moaning by the end of it, and he is totally into that. A little dirty talk can work wonders as well. Again, it’s all about giving him what masturbation can’t.
Hope that helps! The skill of giving handjobs is one that’s hard to master and way too much fun.