Monthly Faves: Vibrations, Vibrato, & Varvatos

Woof. I had a lot of sex this month. Like, a lot. I have a new partner and he is an insatiable perv comme moi, so, y’know, lots and lots of fucking. I hope this trend continues all summer, because frankly, my vagina deserves it. Here are some of the things I enjoyed most in May…

Sex toys

• Full review coming soon: I am loooving my new-ish Swan Wand. Two rumbly motors in an ergonomically-shaped, hot pink beauty of a toy. Très bien!

• Like I told you on Monday, I’m really digging my Sportsheets under-the-bed restraints lately. Nothin’ quite like getting securely immobilized during sex at a moment’s notice. *swoon*

• My boyf rescued an old telephone table and we repurposed it as a spanking bench, obviously. I love the resourcefulness of kinksters.

Fantasy fodder

• Here’s some exciting news: it’s been almost two years since I first realized Daddy Dom/little girl dynamics turn me on, and now I’m dating someone who is into that dynamic too, and I am FEELING SOME WAYS about it. Let’s just say that the “fantasy fodder” column of my orgasm spreadsheet is even more rife with instances of “princess” and “little one” and “good girl” than usual lately.

• In exploring kink stuff with my new boyf, I’ve noticed that a lot of the kink activities I previously thought I didn’t like, I actually just didn’t like with previous partners. Many of the doms I’ve banged before have turned out to be assholes – or, in some cases, abusive assholes – which obviously colored my perception of the things we did together. With my new darlin’, there are some things I’ve always thought I’d hate forever, like being choked, facefucked, and slapped across the face, that actually feel fine (and even hot) because I’m doing them with someone I care about and trust. Kink is fascinating!

• As I’ve told you before, getting fisted is one of my major sexual goals. I’ve known for a long time that I wanted my First Fister to be a dominant person I feel emotionally connected to, who ideally has small hands, and I finally feel like that person has actually come along. This month, me and my beau went for coffee with my friend Taylor to talk fisting logistics (lofistics?!) since Taylor is a fisting expert of sorts. We learned a lot, and now I can’t stop thinking about my bossy boyfriend wearing a black nitrile glove, three knuckles deep inside me, telling me sternly to take a little more for him…

Sexcetera

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I tried the teddy bear vibrator for Glamour (spoiler alert: I did not like it). I detailed the best and worst parts of being a sex toy reviewer for Daily Xtra. I wrote about realistic dildos, friendships with benefits, and iconic sex toys for Ignite, and powerful vibrators for Peepshow. I had some feelings about my favorite boy band and how they relate to pleasure under patriarchy. On our podcast, Bex and I discussed the porn festival, aftercaresexual astrology, and kissing, and we interviewed my mom.

• In May, I had 25 orgasms, an uncommonly high (for me) 64% of which were from a partner, with the other 36% being from masturbation. I wasn’t too keen on solo sex this month, in part because I’m so hyped on my new partner and in part because I’ve been intermittently depressed and have therefore lacked the libido and motivation to masturbate as often as I otherwise might.

Femme stuff

• I had so much sex this month that I didn’t spend much time wearing clothes, honestly. But MeUndies are still doin’ me right. They make a real good backdrop for spanking bruises.

• Gawd, I love Yo Sox. They have a brick-and-mortar shop here in Toronto the very sight of which fills me with glee. Ever wanted to adorn your feet with unicorns, hearts, or whales? I certainly fucking have. And now I can. Eee!

• I’ve been catching up on The Dry Down and, as always, it’s making me want to buy/try new perfume samples. Right now I’m really into dark, smoky, “masculine” scents with notes like sandalwood, balsam, and rum. (État Libre d’Orange’s “True Lust” and John Varvatos’ self-titled fragrance are two current faves.) I also like layering leather cologne over whatever I wear, for an extra kinky kick.

Little things

Nathan Stocker’s vibrato fingers and rock-star hair. The way my beau always smells like sandalwood and the scent lingers on my bed/hair/skin after he leaves. Taking friends lube-shopping. Being productivity-dommed. Cuddling with a chill-as-fuck cat. “Apparently I’m a genius!” Sunny park hangz with my darling. Talking about fisting while sipping mint tea in a crowded café. Snapbacks as a way of accessing my tomboy side. That time a barista gave me a spanking so thorough that he bruised his hand and told me he would think of me every time he tamped a shot of espresso until the bruise healed (hnnng). Receiving a “Still thinking about that BJ” text the morning after a hookup. Playing Scrabble with people who are better than me at Scrabble. Honey liqueur. Nutella donuts. Vegan mac and cheese. Tinder boys with good winks. “Dad Squad” jokes at the Victoria Day fireworks with Max. A punny dinner with porn pals. Vanilla cold brew. Good editors.

Monthly Faves: Teddy Bears, Tongues, & Tarina Tarantino

This month I turned 25, spent a lot of time partyin’ and socializin’ with friends, and had plenty of fulfilling sexual experiences! Here’s hoping April was a prescient preview of the sexy spring and summer to come.

Sex toys

SheVibe sent me the Adrien Lastic Caress (full review to come!) and I’m surprised by how much I like it so far. It uses rotation and silicone attachments to stimulate the clit in a cunnilingus-esque manner, sort of like the Sqweel and Sqweel Go – but it also vibrates, which amplifies the sensation. I’m contemplating writing a post comparing various oral sex simulators, because damn, I love them when they’re executed well.

• Speaking of oral sex simulators… I’ve gotten back into the Satisfyer a bit this month. The suction creates a slow build of arousal compared to a vibrator, but sometimes that is exactly what I want.

• Teddy Love sent me their product, an undeniably horrifying teddy bear whose face vibrates. I haven’t been able to bring myself to apply it to my genitals yet, but I have delighted in showing it to partners and watching terror bloom on their faces.

Fantasy fodder

• Receiving oral sex tends to fall by the wayside in my fantasy life until I meet someone who’s really good at it – and then it reenters my sexual awareness at full force. I got good head from a couple o’ cuties this month, so I’ve had tongues on the brain. Unf.

• I went on some dates this month with someone who is a very good kisser… Like, very, very good… Like, “there is usually wetness dripping down my thighs afterward” levels of good. He’s got the actual lip-lock on lock and also does a lot of the peripheral things I love during makeouts, like grabbing my ass and holding me down by my wrists. So I’ve been fantasizing a lot about good kisses since then. Ugh, please tell him to come kiss me some more.

• I think I’m developing a bit of a premature ejaculation kink?! (In porn, anyway. Not so much in real life.) When I’m high and therefore disinhibited, a lot of my porn searches lately are phrases like “she makes him cum quickly,” “he can’t help but cum,” “he tries not to cum,” and so on. I confessed this growing interest to Bex, who knows my kinks super well, and they replied: “Honestly, that makes perfect sense. A dude being surprised by how good something (probs a BJ) feels so he loses control and comes instantly? That’s totes you.” Ah. Yes. That does make perfect sense, now that I think about it.

Sexcetera

• This month I had sex with a straight cis guy who a) didn’t assume I’d be into intercourse, b) was highly skilled at mid-sex verbal check-ins that were both reassuring and hot, and c) said to me at one point, “I want to see you come. How can I make that happen?” Gosh, I love it when partners are attitudinally a good sexual match for me: non-pressure-y, adventurous, unpresumptuous, and more about pleasure and fun than meeting certain culturally prescribed goals. Swoon!

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I enthused about my favorite erogenous zone, the A-spot, for Glamour, and detailed my experiences with a vaguely biphobic doctor for Daily Xtra. I blogged about wooden dildos and the silly realities of sex for Ignite. I made some sex-nerdy confessions on SwingTowns. On our podcast, Bex and I talked about porn and ruining the mood, interviewed Kenton of Funkit Toys, and on 4/20 we got high and laughed a lot.

• In April I had 25 orgasms – fewer than average for me, because some depressive spells tanked my libido for a bit. Two of those orgasms (8%) were from partners; the rest were solo.

Femme stuff

• For my birthday, I bought myself an Alice in Wonderland necklace from Tarina Tarantino. It’s big and over-the-top and I love it.

• H&M makes a flattering $15 fit-and-flare dress in multiple different colors and patterns. I own eight of them now. It’s a problem. Except it’s not a problem at all. I think my current faves are the blue gingham and red floral ones. Soooo foxy!

• I got my makeup done for a friend’s wedding, and it was such a fun novelty. I’d never worn false lashes before, and couldn’t stop staring at my cartoonish babeliness in every mirror. My turquoise bridesmaid dress rounded out the look.

Little things

Hippo Campus’ new album (it is all I want to listen to right now!). Coaching/consulting sessions where I feel helpful and useful. Fun cam shows! Having a full plate of writing projects. Spicy salmon sushi and big helpings of edamame. Editing podcasts in a café window seat. Conversations with smart friends about strange psychosexual phenomena. Drinks-dates where our conversation crackles and flows. Twitter crushes. Interviewing hilarious smart people for exciting projects. All-day breakfast. Dancing to Taylor Swift with a bunch of new friends in Hamilton. Listening to the Flop House while soaking in a hotel bathtub at the end of a long day. Beautifully-wrapped presents. Polite and respectful suitors. Bex’s dapperness. Seeing my friends win awards. Good listeners. Learning new things. Sexting as negotiation. Really good coffee.

Monthly Faves: Boots, Brits, and BJs

Can it be summer yet?! I’m so tired of this slushy, icy, grey Toronto winter. Ah well, at least I had some good sex this month. Here’s what made my bits ‘n’ brain happy in March…

Sex toys

• I tried a silicone penis extender with a partner this month and it was certainly interesting! Girth isn’t really my jam, so the 2″ diameter on the Traz Rhino Genesis was slightly outside the bounds of what I find comfortable and pleasurable, but we were still both surprised that we didn’t hate it. I could see an extender being a fun solution in future if a partner wants to get me off via PIV but doesn’t have the stamina to do so, or just wants to focus on pleasing me instead of on their own pleasure for a while.

• The folks at Warm sent me their product, an object that looks like a leather clutch but is actually designed to pre-warm your sex toys for you. I have a feeling I’ll use this more with partners than I will alone, because a) my masturbation is usually so wham-bam that the idea of waiting 10-15 minutes for my sex toys to heat up is generally preposterous and b) it’s usually my partners, not me, who express dismay at the coldness of my toys. (“Wow, this is cold; isn’t it gonna hurt?” a fuckbuddy once asked me when I put my Double Trouble in his hands. I laughed, grabbed it back, and shoved it into me.) But it’s a nice thing to have on hand, and makes me feel like the fanciest fucker in the land.

• Umm, we need to talk about the VeDO Bam bullet vibe. Peepshow sent me the Bam along with a whack of other bullets for an upcoming comparison review post, and I tried this one before the others, on the advice of a reader who told me the Bam rivals my beloved Tango. While it’s certainly not perfect (I’ll explain why in my full review), it’s remarkably strong and rumbly for a $29 vibrator. This bodes well for the industry as a whole, methinks!

Fantasy fodder

• In the throes of a Mollena Williams kick, I re-watched the keynote talk she gave with her husband/Master, Georg Friedrich Haas, at the Playground Conference in 2015. I was particularly struck by Mollena’s story about how her Master used to kiss her with waaaay too much tongue (she called him a “horny sex frog”) so she asked him to adjust his technique, and he did. In the keynote, he explains that one of his duties as a Master is to give his slave orgasms, and since slaves are meant to assist and serve their Masters, giving feedback on what turns you on is one way to be a helpful submissive. I love this way of looking at it! And yeah, after pondering that story, I definitely fantasized quite a bit about a future diligent Dom who’ll insist on hearing my sexual feedback, instead of feeling attacked by it.

• My FWB told me, after fingerbanging me to a marvelous orgasm, that he’d been paying attention to when I upped the speed on my Tango and using those moments as cues to intensify and speed up his fingers’ thrusting. Partners’ attentiveness to my body and tastes is pretty much the hottest thing I can imagine. I have been replaying that encounter a lot in my mind mid-wank lately.

• I bought some new boots this month (more on that in the “femme stuff” section!) and – whoops – my sartorial enthusiasm got mixed up in some sex-and-kink stuff, as it often does. While admiring the gorgeous new boots on my feet, I kept thinking about how hot and gratifying it would be to be serviced by a diligent bootblack. I’m almost never in the mood to be an imperious domme, but damn, I want my boots polished and worshipped…

Sexcetera

• On the morning of March 1st, I woke up in a fancy hotel room, with a handsome British man beside me. I’d met him two evenings previous, in a heated outdoor pool, where he charmed me with sweetness and good manners. This whole episode felt like something out of a movie. It reminded me of how sometimes sex is magical not just because of the physical sensations involved but because of the emotional connections and broader empathy it helps you develop.

• March orgasm stats: I had 30 orgasms in March, versus 23 in February and 30 in January. 4 (13%) were from partners, and the other 26 (87%) were solo. That brings my orgasm total for 2017 thus far up to 83, 9 of which (11%) were from partners and 74 of which (89%) were solo. Did you know I’m a nerd?!

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I wrote about erotica and mental health for Glamour, enumerated some high-tech sex toys and different types of lube for Peepshow, explained alternate uses of the Magic Wand and how vibrators can close the orgasm gap for Ignite, processed some feelings about men’s visual consumption of women on my personal Tumblr, and explained on Medium why Nick Jonas’ album Last Year Was Complicated is kinky as fuck. On our podcast, Bex and I interviewed our friend Brent and the amazing Dirty Lola, and also talked about serviceenthusiasm, and the G-spot. I also released a new song, This Bird.

Femme stuff

• I’ve been wanting some comfy, durable new shoes I can wear to work, so I bought some Frye 15R engineer boots, which I’ve been lusting over for years. GOD, THEY ARE GOOD. It took about two weeks for me to break them in, during which time they were stiff, tight, and painful, but now they feel perfect and I never want to wear anything else. Oh, Frye, you geniuses, you.

• Not being an athletic person in the least, I had never wanted to own any sports memorabilia before I spotted this Blue Jays shirt which says “I [Heart] BJs.” This probably goes without saying, but please understand that me wearing this shirt is reflective only of my passion for blowjobs and not of any enthusiasm whatsoever for sports. Glad we got that cleared up!

• I’ve been wearing my glass eyeball necklace from a Lincoln City glass studio a lot lately. It feels like a comforting emblem of feminist agency in times of emotional turmoil.

Little things

Being romanced by grown-ass adults who do things like buy you sushi and wine on their company card or wear suit jackets to casual occasions. Dancing to “I Don’t Wanna Dance.” Cool customers. Bex calling me a “magical angel” when I wrote some good ad copy for our podcast. Cordial thank-you emails from hookups (!). Planning future tattoos. My cousin’s Obama impression. Scrabble dates. Painting watercolor genitals. Friends who help me script awkward conversations. Mid-cry selfies. Beardy barista crushes. Jazz-pop. Me and my FWB wearing the same underwear to our sex-date. Smart conversations about political fanfiction over beers. Communities banding together. Bragging about my sexual partners. Slaying my to-do list. Playing tons of Use Your Words at its pre-launch party (BUY IT, it’s so fun!). Beers with weird names (Pinball Wizard, Shenanigans, Barking Squirrel). My FWB calling my blowjobs “legendary.” Mid-sex kazoo breaks that make us laugh so hard we cry. Bonding with fellow femmes over eyebrow maintenance. Narrating bad porn with a cute funny boy. Good kissers with good hair for grabbing onto. Bad blowjob puns (always). Friends who encourage me to flirt with people I’d otherwise be too shy to flirt with.

Monthly Faves: We-Vibes and Teams of Tops

So hey, I’ll get to the sex stuff in a minute, but what’s really exciting me today is my new website design!! It was done by Jessica Mullen and Kelly Cree, some smart and savvy babes I’ve known online for years. They totally understand my brand and my vision, and I feel like my site is so much more aligned with what I want it to look and feel like now! Hope you dig it. (Make sure to click around a bit; there are four different headers that randomize, and they’re all gorgeous.) Now, here are the sexxxy thingz I liked best in February…

Sex toys

• GOD I LOVE THE WE-VIBE NOVA. Bex gifted me one over a year ago, and I’m pretty sure I tried it once before retiring it to the depths of a drawer somewhere. But this month I kept noticing the Nova at the sex shop where I work, and explaining it to curious customers, and a coworker told me Erika Moen had reviewed it well, so I decided to give it another shot. And damn, it is good. My review will be up soonish!

• Speaking of We-Vibe… I’m also loving the Touch lately. (They sent me the Dreamy Desire Collection to review, and the main appeal it held for me was that it contains a limited-edition dark blue Touch.) It hasn’t unseated their Tango as my favorite rechargeable clit vibe, because the Tango’s hard plastic conducts vibration just a leeeeetle better than the Touch’s squishy silicone, but it’s definitely a new “starting lineup” toy for me.

• Shall I give We-Vibe the hat trick and rhapsodize three of their toys in this post?! Yep, looks like it… A We-Vibe rep came to my work to teach us about their toys, and several of us got gifts. Mine was a We-Vibe Sync, the much-anticipated latest version of their flagship couples’ vibe. It’s very fucking excellent. The motor is strong and rumbly, the adjustability rules, and using the We-Connect app to give myself hands-free orgasms using my PHONE makes me feel like a badass sex-spy. My heart’s all aflutter for the Sync!

Fantasy fodder

• When crushing on fellow sex toy nerds, sometimes I fantasize about bringing them to my room, showing them my sex toy collection, and telling them to choose a few toys to use on me. It’s interesting (and hot) to imagine which toys each person would choose, and why – and then what they’d do with them. (Some of my fave toys for partners to fuck me with, FYI: the Double Trouble, Eleven, and S-Curve!)

• At a party this month, I got spanked by three different people, working in tandem like a relay team. It was hot and cute and I proceeded to ponder it for weeks afterward, sometimes substituting different people into the fantasy and seeing what that felt like. One person pulling my hair and scratching my thighs, one person checking in with me occasionally and bringing me icewater, one smacking my ass, and the three of them periodically rotating roles… Unf.

Sexcetera

• This month I had sex at a sex club for the first time (not counting that time I did so for a porn shoot, because that’s quite different!). It was pretty fun, although I don’t know if my anxiety would ever let me relax enough in that kind of situation to actually have an orgasm.

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I wrote about sexist tropes in pop music for Teen Vogue (!!) and warming up for big penetration for Ignite. On our podcast, Bex and I talked about humor, attraction, romance, and sex toy retail.

• February orgasm stats: I only had 21 orgasms this month, versus 30 in January. My mental health sort of dipped a bit in the middle of the month, which usually results in fewer orgasms for me, plus I worked longer hours over Valentine’s week and didn’t have a lot of spare energy for jerkin’ it. While I did have some partnered sex this month, all the orgasms I had were solo. (Womp womp.)

Femme stuff

• This is boring, maybe, but winter sure makes me appreciate excellent lip balms more than I usually do! My current faves are the Nivea Lip Butters; I have them in a few flavors and they’re delightfully moisturizing.

• I finally did it: I bought a pair of heart-eyes emoji earrings. Mine are from FandomVerse Shoppe and I love ’em.

• Fellow retail workers and other folks who have to stay on their feet for long hours on the regs: I would love to hear your recommendations for cute shoes/boots that will support my feets properly! Currently I’m rocking my ol’ faithful Frye harness boots as per usual, but I’m thinking about maybe getting some Danskos or something. What say you?

Little things

Big tough cis dudes who make good use of their privilege and ability to intimidate other men into better behavior. A work-date with Taylor and Andrew over coffee and pizza. My favorite dancey jams of the month: Do You Love Someone, Talk Too Much, and Mother to a Brother. Coworker crushes. Steak and martinis with my mom. Customers who find my jokes amusing. Bursting into tears unexpectedly at a beautiful story someone told at Body Pride (that link goes to naked pictures, FYI!). Kink-flirting. Fancy cocktails with Anais. The sheer euphoria of palpable attraction. My new “I Heart Blowjobs” embroidery from Crass Stitches. Pre-drinking/femme time with Rosaline. Making out in a heated swimming pool under the stars. Myq Kaplan’s life-ruiningly funny comedy album No Kidding. The folks at Sili Saddle hand-delivering one in my favorite colors to my doorstep. People for whom punning is flirting. A photoshoot with Taylor and Suz at the Ritual Chamber (photos and story coming soon to a blog near you!). Having lots of cool new sex books to read (most notably: Closer by Sarah Barmak and Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz). The zen calm of sweeping and mopping a floor. The Adventure Zone, fucking always (the cliffhanger ending of the latest episode killed me!). Punning and giggling with Brent over Facebook Phone at 2AM after a long, difficult day. Cleaning and reorganizing my entire sex toy collection, as a sex spell of sorts.

Monthly Faves: Gloryholes, Glass, & Giggly Girl Gangs

It feels ridiculous to talk about anything not geopolitical at the moment. But I still believe in goodness in the world, in the form of legal and financial supporters of the cause, brave protesters doing what’s right, or even something as comparatively mundane as good sex. If you need to tear your attention away from the news for a while and read about less pressing matters, like dildos and lipstick, I’m your girl. Let’s dive in and talk about what I loved most in January…

Sex toys

Bex bought me the best gift this month: a Standard Glass S-Curve dildo in my signature shade of turquoise. When they handed it to me, they said, “It’ll hit your A-spot,” but I wasn’t sure – the curve looked too extreme for that. But of course, they are a genius and were totally right. My fuckbuddy pounded me with the S-Curve within 24 hours of me receiving it, and he declared it was “like the Double Trouble on easy mode”: it hits my A-spot just as well but is much lighter, smaller, and easier to manoeuver. I’ll never doubt Bex again!

• I bought myself a kinky Christmas present: an 8-ball Billiard Banger from KinkMachineWorks. It’s soooo thuddy, almost like being punched. As always, I can’t recommend this li’l Etsy shop’s impact toys highly enough. (Look how pretty!!)

• I felt a particular appreciation for the We-Vibe Tango this month, both because I used it a lot (including for THREE ORGASMS during a hotel sex-date with my hardworkin’ FWB – swoon!) and because I’ve been selling plenty of them in my new job as a sex-shop salesgirl. It’s still the best, rumbliest rechargeable clit vibe on the market – and at only $80, it’s cheaper than a lot of comparable-but-less-good vibes out there.

Fantasy fodder

• I’ve had a thing for gloryhole porn on-and-off for years, and this month it came back with a vengeance. Right now I’m particularly enamored with “TheCarnivore,” who films himself sucking cocks in his home-built gloryhole shed in Florida. His deepthroating skills are a thing to behold!

• I’ve also been enjoying a fella named CumControl101 who makes videos of himself manually edging dudes til they’re whining and begging to come. Men’s pleasure sounds are one of my biggest turn-ons, so I like the ones who make a lot of noise

• An eccentric confession: sometimes, when I am high, I masturbate to makeup tutorials on YouTube. I am not jerking off over the prettiness of the ladies therein, in the way of that creep who probably wanks to your Facebook photos without your knowledge; there is, instead, some connection my high-brain makes between femme glee and carnal joy. When I’m just the right amount of intoxicated on just the right type of weed, my usually chaste excitement about glitter and lipstick can take on a saucy tone. Brains are strange, man.

Sexcetera

• I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet of all my orgasms thus far in 2017, like a fuckin’ nerd. It’s titled “Orgasm Registry” in my Google Drive, and yes, it is a separate document from my partnered-sex spreadsheet. It’s been interesting to track the ebbs and flows of my libido (predictably, it ebbs when I’m tired and overworked, and flows when I’m blazin’ on the regs), the toys I use most often (the Magic Wand Rechargeable, Double Trouble, and Tango), and how many orgasms I had in January (30!). But what interests me most is the “fantasy fodder” column – such a pure and true reflection of my innermost perviness. It sure is humbling to have to write down what you were thinking about right before orgasm!

• Some of my writing elsewhere this month: I wrote about the connection between promiscuity and empathy for the Establishment, and complained about mediocre men and femininity-diminishing anxiety on Medium. On our podcast, Bex and I talked about masturbation, social media flirting, shitty sex toy marketing, and being a publicly sexual person (that last one featured special guest Cooper S. Beckett, who was a dream!). As always, you can pledge to my Patreon for regular updates on what I’m up to.

Femme stuff

• I’ve been really into perfume lately, thanks in large part to the influence of The Dry Down and the ladies who write it. I read Tynan Sinks describe John Varvatos cologne as smelling like “if you spilled a chai latte into an old leather jacket,” so, obviously, I ordered a sample immediately. It’s supposedly a masculine scent, full of balsam, coriander, and vanilla, but it wears so beautifully on feminine little me. It makes me feel like a cupcake wearing a black leather ballgown to a kink soirée. I love it so much that when I lost my sample vial of it, I ordered another one immediately.

• Lipstick-wise, I’ve been oscillating steadily between Rouge d’Armani in “Lucky Red” (which I wrote about in November) and Sugarpill’s “Girl Crush.” A cool-toned red and a hot pink – how predictable pour moi! Sometimes I wish I were more adventurous in this realm, but hey, sometimes you just find what works for you and want to stick with it.

• A beauteous turquoise leather Coach tote (the “turnlock tote in crossgrain leather“) was on sale for half-price, so I snapped it up. I am in love: it’s roomy as hell, has secret pockets galore, and is the most brilliant, aggressively bright color. I brought it with me to New York as my carry-on and it comfortably fit my laptop, charger, journal, headphones, travel documents, makeup bag, wallet, glasses, and a book. Amaze.

Little things

Ringing in the new year with a bunch of sex-positive weirdos. Samantha giving us Alka-Seltzer tablets to take home after a rowdy New Year’s Eve party. Respecting and working with the natural rhythms of my mental health. Empathetic friends. My cozy new bedding and fluffy pillows. Good moisturizer. My mom bringing me Jamaican chickpea soup because wintertime makes me grumpy. The mental health mantra “No moment is unendurable.” Hitting 5,000 Twitter followers! My new phone wallpaper. Writing by candlelight. Shooting new headshots with Cadence, forever my favorite person to be photographed by. Good interviews with sweet sources over coffee. My new job at a sex shop! Giggly bralette-shoppin’ with Suz and Rosaline. Editing podcasts in cafés and train stations and hotel rooms. Recording Dildorks episodes with Brent and Kenton (they’ll be out over the next couple months!). Bex showing up to rescue me from an anxiety attack at a New York subway station, wearing a Batman onesie and a collar and carrying a bright yellow box of Kleenex. The Daily Mail writing about me (!). Excellent editors. My new pipe. When Bex and I tried not to burst out laughing while a waiter served me cacio e pepe from a giant block of cheese. Coffee Crisp bars. A boy telling me he can only wear mesh boxer-briefs for a couple hours at a time because they’re “very taxing on the sac.”

What sexy or sex-adjacent things did you enjoy this month, babes?