Polkadots, Hearts, and Ghosts – Oh My!


All of my underwear falls into one of two categories: there’s good underwear, and there’s garbage underwear.

“Garbage underwear” is the name I give to the old, worn-out type of panties I only ever throw on if I know I’m not having sex that day. Most of it was bought in cheap multipacks, many months or even years ago. The elastic sags, the colors are faded, the brand name holds no glamorous cachet. It’s comfortable, and it fulfills its function, but ultimately it’s a sad piece of cotton that adds no brightness to my life.

img_4128“Good underwear,” by contrast, is what I’ll put on if I suspect I might be getting laid, taking my clothes off in front of people, or showing off my butt to a crowd. (Blessedly, I have the kind of life where these situations are commonplace.) It may be slinky, saucy, and/or lacy. It shows off my assets and creates a flattering silhouette. Ideally, it highlights some playfulness in my personality, too.

The trouble with “good underwear,” though, is that it often isn’t very comfortable. Lace chafes, silky fabric shifts and slides, and the visual effect isn’t always worth the tactile troubles this type of underwear causes. But then, occasionally, it is possible to find the ease and comfort of “garbage underwear” married to the cuteness and beauty of “good underwear.” Like, for example, MeUndies.


You’ve probably heard of MeUndies if you listen to certain podcasts that rep them; their influencer outreach is very good. But what astonished me is that their products are actually as fantastic as all those podcast hosts say they are. They promise comfort and cuteness, and they deliver on that promise.

I wore my red and white polka-dotted MeUndies to my first anal sex experience. Anyone who knows me intimately could tell you that when I’m nervous about an event, I obsess about what to wear to that event – and when sexy things are going to happen, underwear is a hugely important part of that. It has to be exactly right, evoking the feelings I hope to feel where I’m going.

I chose these because they’re flattering and sensuous, but also fun and playful. I wanted to feel relaxed, as far away from “nervous” as possible, since I was nervous as hell. Who wants to worry about annoying straps, snaps, or lace when you’re already worried about whether someone’s dick will even fit in your ass?!


MeUndies are made of a blissfully soft modal-elastane blend. I am a stickler for underwear material: years ago, I threw away all my nylon- and spandex-heavy underthings because I felt they were contributing to recurrent BV. I replaced them with pairs made primarily of cotton, which breathes better and is therefore better for vaginal health. My militantly picky vagina has had no issues whatsoever with MeUndies, and in fact, if I could replace my entire underwear wardrobe with them, I would. They’re that comfy and cute.

img_4145The company launches a fancy new design each month, and October’s is covered in spooky ghosts. I am in love! A friend said to me, “Your genitals are haunted!” These ghosts are so damn adorable. I am proud to adorn my butt in them.

This post wasn’t sponsored – I actually just fucking love MeUndies and wanted to show you how foxy I look in mine, frankly! – but if you wanna pick some up and you buy through this link, you’ll get 20% off and I’ll get a little kickback to spend on more underwear. So we’ll both have happier genitals and butts. It’s a win-win!