Monthly Faves: Cakes, Collars, & Analog Orgasms

Are you having a nice summer so far? I sure am! Here were some of my favorite sexy things in June…

Sex toys

• I will be real with you: the majority of my orgasms this month were the doing of my boyfriend’s mouth and/or fingers, not a toy. In fact, I have felt somewhat lukewarm toward vibrators recently. I’m sure it’ll pass; they’re just a different kind of pleasure, one I’m not especially feelin’ right now. It’s like how sometimes you get obsessed with sushi for a few weeks and eat so much of it that eventually you feel like you never want to lay eyes on another dynamite roll ever again… but then you’re back at the sushi place the following month. Everything is cyclical, naw’m sayin’?

• When I did use vibrators this month, I was particularly partial to the ScreamingO Charged Vooom, which I reviewed back in April. It’s got a lovely level of rumbliness for such a tiny vibe. The raspberry-pink color makes me happy, too.

• I bought a Weal & Breech wooden paddle at the Pink Market T.O. and it is soooo fancy and beautiful! All of this company’s stuff is painstakingly handmade by folks who clearly know what they’re doing, both wood-wise and kink-wise. This paddle is thuddy with a bit of sting, and feels luxurious in the hand (and on the butt). Swoooon!

Fantasy fodder

• At one point this month, my boyf fucked me and then went down on me while fingerfucking me, and I was a bit stoned so I started having a weird fantasy: I imagined there were two of him, one fucking me and one licking my clit, and the one going down on me was intermittently saying filthy shit like “I’m gonna make you come all over his cock, little one.” Uhhh. Can this type of threesome be an actual reality in my life sometime?! I’m not sure about position logistics, but I bet we could figure it out.

• Speaking of threesomes… Lately I keep picturing a scenario in which my very dommy boyfriend sits on the sidelines issuing orders while me and another subby femme (*cough*) get it on. Specifically, I want him to tell a lady to go down on me and then instruct her on exactly how to make me come. And then he can boss me into going down on her too. HELP, I’M DEAD, this fantasy is too hot.

• (Content warning for consensual non-consent and “rape” porn.) I watched some “stalker porn” this month, i.e. porn based around the contrivance that a (male) stalker has broken into the home of his (female) unrequited love and essentially rapes her (but, as is par for the course in a lot of kinky porn, she eventually gets into it). While I still often feel icky about my “con non-con” kinks, I can’t deny that this scenario definitely makes me Feel Some Ways…


• I got to be the demo bottom for an impact play workshop my friend Taylor J Mace taught at The Nookie this month. It was fun to get spanked in front of spectators! (Later that night, my boyfriend gave me a more thorough spanking, and we joked that the workshop had been a “slappetizer.”)

• On our podcast this month, Bex and I talked about fanfiction, Daddy doms, and sex-positivity, and we interviewed Andre Shakti about polyamory and fisting.

• Nerdy orgasm statz: I had 28 orgasms in June, which is about average for me. 17 of those (61%) were with a partner, and the other 11 (39%) were from masturbation. That brings my total for the year so far up to 162.

Femme stuff

• Back in April, I bought some tiny black shorts from H&M for about $15, and they’ve gotten a shocking amount of wear in recent weeks. They are very small but I feel super cute in them. Score!

• I wrote a piece about collars this month so I was pondering/lusting over them even more than usual. Peep these beauts: a simple black leather heart collar from NerdyPixie, a glorious padlocked day collar from LiquidNymph, the sexy deep purple Prince collar by Aslan Leather, and this ridiculously over-the-top heart necklace from Tarina Tarantino that would make an ideal day collar for, like, a rambunctious leather queen. *fans self* *sighs dramatically*

Little things

My new dayjob doing social media for some adult-industry companies. Friends who feel comfortable enough with me to confide in me. Nathan Stocker’s solo project (I never realized, before listening to his song “Little Rabbit,” how much I’d love for a domly partner to call me that…!). Spanakopita. Writing at a picnic table in a park. Improv dorks. Attending a cake-sitting party (OMG!). My boyf laundering my panties for me so I wouldn’t have to walk home in wet, day-old underwear (or, worse, commando). Getting to watch my little brother graduate. Combining perfumes. Sending pitches like a badass. Being dommed into making better decisions for my health (like taking my iron supplements and drinking more water). Grapefruit radlers in the park with Anais. Having my mind blown by Reid Mihalko’s jealousy workshop. Bite marks and bruises. A Tinder guy I found who had a cupcake recipe in his bio.