Monthly Faves: Delirium, Dominance, & a Dragon Tail

I had an active, mostly-happy month, sexually and otherwise! Here are some highlights from June…

Sex toys

• Late last year at a sex-industry tradeshow, I picked up a black leather bat from Viktoria Creations. I’d barely used it at all until this month, when my partner specified one night during phone sex that he wanted to hit me with “something thuddy” and a lightbulb illuminated over my head. This baton is made of leather wrapped around a firm core and Viktoria describes it as “the ultimate thud” that “will bruise any butt” (uh, can confirm). If you like your impact sensations to be all thud and no sting, you’d adore this one!

• I’ve wanted to own a Wartenberg wheel for a long time, but never quite enough to justify actually buying one. But then I spotted a rainbow one at an Aslan Leather sale and knew immediately that it was destined to be mine. This type of toy pairs really well with bondage and sensory deprivation!

• Tantus sent me their new impact toy, the Dragon Tail. (I love when companies know me well enough to be like, “We made a super painful hitty thing; YOU WANT IT, RIGHT?!”) One end is mega-stingy and the other end is much thuddier. It’s a versatile little workhorse of an implement!

Fantasy fodder

• Forever fantasizing about being a schoolgirl who’s seducing, or seduced by, a teacher. My Sir and I did a phone-sex scene along these lines this month (not uncommon for us) and I was struck by the fact that we each seemed to have a different idea about how old I was in the scene and it didn’t actually affect the proceedings that much. (I felt like I was about 12 and he seemed to be addressing me like a university student. Ah well, actual 12-year-old me was a pretty precocious know-it-all, anyway.) He also made me burst into tears during the scene by telling his diligent student, “Your writing in my class is fantastic. Maybe you’ll write a book someday.” Gotta love how good doms can simultaneously turn you on and encourage you in your ambitions…!

• This month my Sir made me come with his mouth for the first time – always an important relationship milestone for me and my dainty clit, and one that the vast majority of my partners haven’t even achieved. It’s only possible with an alchemical combination of stamina, enthusiasm, trust, and knowledge of my body – all qualities I find super hot, so I’ve been thinking about it a ton since then.

• A highlight of my sex life this month was pegging my Sir with my pink Aslan Leather harness and pink sparkly Godemiche Ambit. I keep thinking about how hot it was that he came so easily and quickly once I was inside him, like the intensity of it surprised him. I was surprised, too, by how much I liked it.

Sexcetera

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I was interviewed on Newstalk 1010 about government-funded feminist porn. I wrote about female submission and rope suspension for the Andrew Blake blog. I listed some gender-neutral oral sex tips over at the Ignite blog. I explained how to write a good first online-dating message and what to ask on a first date for RateDesi. On our podcast, Bex and I discussed coming out and interviewed DJ Pynchon about hypnokink, Pup Amp and Pup Dane about puppy play, and Sinclair Sexsmith about protocol and punishment.

• This month I was the demo bottom for my friend Taylor‘s Introduction to Impact Play workshop at Kink Toronto. I always enjoy getting slapped around for educational purposes!

• Delighted to have been asked back to Bed Post again. This month I was the resident sexpert at both performances of the show, answering audience questions about all kinds of kinky proclivities, from DD/lg to fisting to bondage. Yay, fun!

Femme stuff

• Summer is the season for slutty rompers. I need to buy several more, methinks.

• I enjoy Rachel Syme’s suggestion of using particular perfumes as your “bath scent.” As she points out, you have to do this with fragrances you’re not that into (or that weren’t expensive at all) because it requires using large quantities of the stuff so you don’t wanna waste something actually nice, unless you’re some Richie Rich motherfucker. I have this ancient bottle of a pale blue cologne called “Pyramid” which is a cheap-ass knockoff of Armani Code, and that’s been my favorite “bath scent” lately. I spritz about 10 sprays into the faucet stream and then I get to feel as though a hot young businessman has joined me in the tub.

• All hail my new yellow clogs from Lotta From Stockholm. I like how adorable they look juxtaposed with my pink thigh tattoos, and also I like how they draw the eyes of partners who have a foot kink…

Media

• I was craving young-adult dystopian novels this month, so I did some Googling and eventually discovered Lauren Oliver’s Delirium trilogy. It’s set in a world where love is understood to be a disease, and where people are forcibly surgically “cured” of the capacity for love when they come of age. Pretty scary stuff, and definitely thought-provoking if you’re a relationships psychology nerd like me.

• The ever-charming John Mulaney’s latest comedy special, Kid Gorgeous, is a fucking triumph. I watched it once with my mom and once over the phone with my Sir and adored it both times. Mulaney’s one of my favorite storytellers. His bit about how Trump’s presidency is like a horse getting loose in a hospital is frighteningly apt.

• My current fave song is “Saw You in a Dream” by the Japanese House. This band’s dreamy, androgynous vibes feel perfect for mellow summer days.

Little things

Drinking whiskey on the rocks in the front row of improv shows. Sir helping me with tax forms. Craft beers with my rope bondage beau. Nanaimo bars. Doing karaoke with rad people at Dan‘s birthday party. Exercising my democratic right. Sir buying me a fan because my room is way too warm (what a prince). Pre-show solo dinners at Soulpepper. The totally brilliant Gregory Prest. Having a full plate of copywriting clients. Margaritas at any opportunity. Sir sending me flowers for our six-monthiversary. Hanging out with my bruddy. Brent reading me hilarious things over the phone. Mr. Accident, a “good-bad movie” if there ever was one. Sex puns (always). Sir copyediting me on Twitter. Making him his own tag on my blog, at his request. Touching thighs under the table. Drinking rosé in a grassy back yard at sunset. Henry nerding out over Mozart and vintage pianos. Negronis (in Negroni season, no less). Afternoon co-working/phone-sex dates with my love. Bar bathroom selfies. How much I love love love working from home, even on days when I’d rather not be working at all.