We teach people how to treat us.
We teach people how to communicate with us.
We can’t expect other people to “guess” our policies, expectations, hopes and dreams.
We have to share them. Clearly.

Alexandra Franzen

Here are the rules and policies you should know if you want to work with me or interact with me on the interwebz. Please read them carefully before contacting me so that we don’t end up wasting each other’s time! Making a sponsorship or reviewing deal with me implies that you have read all relevant parts of this page so I won’t provide any refunds or other take-backs on the basis of you having failed to read this page. Thanks!

Table of contents for easier navigation:

Blog content & sponsorship policies:


Email & other business policies:

Personal policies:

Blog content & sponsorship policies

Want me to review a sex toy or other sex product for your company?

Whether it’s a sex toy that your company makes or just a toy your company sells, my rules are the same.

At this time, I’ll only review products if I can potentially earn affiliate commissions from writing about them. So your site must have an affiliate program or your product must be sold by a shop that has an affiliate program that I can link to (e.g. SheVibe, PinkCherry). Otherwise it’s just not financially worthwhile for me to review your product.

If you want me to review your product and you don’t have any affiliate options available for me, you can pay me to review your product. Please email me to discuss rates. Please note that this does not guarantee a positive review, only an honest one. And of course, I reserve the right to say no to your request if I don’t want to review your product for whatever reason.

Once you send me a product, it is mine and I won’t pay for it or return it if you’re unhappy with my review or with how long it takes me to write my review. I will always try to write and publish my review within 5 weeks of receiving the product but, of course, sometimes life gets in the way. All stipulations of the review must be laid out and mutually agreed upon in advance and no stipulations may be added once the product is sent.

At this time, I don’t review lube, condoms, books, supplements, or toys for penises, so please don’t contact me about these (unless you’re willing to pay me to review them).

Want me to review another type of product or service?

If your product is relevant to the subject matter of my blog in some way (sexuality, relationships, fashion, beauty, writing, and self-improvement), I may be interested in reviewing it.

The same rules apply as above: you must have an affiliate program, and if you don’t, you’ll need to pay me upfront for the review. As always, my review will be honest and not necessarily positive.

Want me to write about your product/service/business?

I don’t offer free advertising, so if you want me to draw my readers’ attention to your product, service, business, website, etc., you will need to pay me to do that. Contact me to discuss rates for sponsored content or other kinds of sponsorship.

I will not promote anything that I consider oppressive, so if you’re asking me to promote something that could be considered sex-negative, sexist, racist, transphobic, biphobic, etc., my answer will very likely be “no.”

I will not write anything I believe to be a lie. If I hate your product, I will not say I like it. If I haven’t tried your product, I will not claim to have tried it. If I think your company has shitty ethics in some way, I won’t claim otherwise.

All my sponsored posts are written by me; I will not publish anything written by anyone else. Once we’ve agreed upon a price for a sponsored post and you have paid me in full, I will pitch you some post ideas and you can choose from the ones I’ve suggested. Then I’ll draft the post and send it to you for your approval. After a few small changes (if desired), I will publish the post, containing links to your website/business as agreed upon.

As per Federal Trade Commission guidelines, all my sponsored content is denoted as such – meaning that there will be a note at the bottom of the post explaining that it was sponsored. This is mandatory; do not ask me to take it out, because I won’t.

I will not make changes to the post after the fact except (if desired) a one-time-only URL change, if, for example, you move your business to a different domain. If you want me to take down the post, I will do so upon request, though as with all advertising and sponsorship deals I offer, all sales are final and no refunds will be given for any reason. Keep that in mind before you do business with me!

Want me to advertise your business/website/product?

Aside from the sponsored posts I explained above, I also offer paid banner ads and text links in my sidebar. Email me for rates.

I do not guarantee any particular click-through rate. When you buy ads on my site, you are acknowledging that your ad may receive zero clicks, thousands of clicks, or anywhere in between. It’s not my job to make sure you get a ton of clicks; make your ads more interesting and “click-worthy” if that’s what you want.

All advertising fees must be paid before I put up the ad. As with all sponsorship deals I offer, all payments are final and nonrefundable. If your banner is offensive or oppressive, I reserve the right to refuse to put it up (in which case I will refund your money) or to request that you supply me with a different/less shitty one.

On that note, I don’t do link exchanges. If I link to you, it’s either because I like you a lot or you’ve paid me to link to you. “Exposure” or link reciprocity are not good enough reasons for me to link to you. Either be really awesome, or pay me, or both.

Want me to write a social media post about your business/service/product?

Once again, I do not offer free advertising, so do not ask me to tweet about your business/website, share it on Facebook, etc. unless you are prepared to pay me. Contact me to discuss rates.

I write all my own content, including my social media posts. I will not repost something you have already written for me. Once I have received payment, I will draft some possible social media posts for you, and you can suggest small changes to be made.

As per Federal Trade Commission guidelines, all my sponsored content is denoted as such. In social media posts, sponsorship will be indicated with a #Sponsored or #Ad hashtag. This is a mandatory measure and I will not waive it under any circumstances.

All sponsorship payments are final and nonrefundable, as always. If you want me to take down a social media post you sponsored, I will do so upon request, but your money will not be refunded.

Want to quote something I have written?

If you want to quote me on your website/blog or social media page, you may quote a maximum of three sentences from any blog post on my site. When you quote me or paraphrase me, you must always credit me with my name (Kate Sloan) and a link to my website. Failure to do so will result in me contacting your webhost to file a copyright infringement complaint.

If you want to quote me in print or in some other non-electronic medium, please contact me to discuss this before doing it. Please also contact me to get my permission before quoting longer excerpts from my site. In your message, please explain which post you’d like to quote, how much of it you’d like to quote, where you will be quoting it, and how you intend to credit me.

Want to republish something I’ve written?

You may not republish full blog posts from my site or any excerpts longer than three sentences, unless you have my express written permission. Contact me if you’d like to discuss this.

Generally, I will ask to be paid for the republication of my writing, especially if the republication will be benefiting you or your business. Contact me to discuss rates. My republished work must always be credited to my name and URL.

The above also holds true if you’re looking to republish a photo I’ve taken or a video I’ve made.

Want to write a post inspired by, or in response to, one of mine?

This is totally fine as long as you link back to the post that inspired you. I’d also love if you could tweet at me to notify me that you’re doing this.

Want to write a guest post for my blog, or want me to publish an article you’ve written?

I don’t publish other people’s writing on my site, so if you ask me about this, your email will be ignored.

If you’re looking to write a guest post because you want to promote your business/blog/product/etc., you can contact me to discuss the possibility of me writing a sponsored post to promote you, or to advertise you in some other way. But I do not publish other people’s writing so don’t ask.

Email & other business policies

Want to send me a press release?

There are three, and only three, conditions under which I will ever talk about the contents of your press release on the internet: 1) if it’s so horrifying, offensive or weird that I need to rant about it, 2) if I already like your company and have reason to be excited about its new endeavors, or 3) if you are paying me to talk about it.

In most cases, I will either ignore your press release or send you my sponsored content rates. If you’re not willing to pay me to talk about your press release, then I probably won’t, so maybe just don’t send me press releases.

Want to ask my advice on a personal matter?

This might include sex advice, relationship advice, sex toy recommendations, etc.

Before contacting me, please use the search bar in my sidebar to make sure I haven’t already answered your question or something similar.

If your question is quick, I’d prefer to be asked via Twitter. If, on the other hand, your question requires a longer response, please email me or use my contact form.

I don’t have unlimited time and energy. This means, unfortunately, that I can’t answer every question that comes my way, at least not for free. If I think your question has broad relevance, I may ask your permission to answer it in a blog post. However, if your question is very specific or requires a very in-depth response, I probably won’t be able to answer it unless you’d like to pay my consulting fee. It’s lower for personal clients than it would be for business clients; get in touch and we’ll discuss.

Want to ask my advice on your business, product, blog, etc.?

You are welcome to hire me as a consultant for any project you think would benefit from my expertise. Please get in touch to discuss details. It’s important to note that I don’t work for free, so don’t ask.

Want to interview me?

As a journalist myself, I’m very sympathetic to reporters looking for sources! I am happy to be interviewed for articles and projects that you think would benefit from my expertise and experiences.

Please get in touch and let me know the topic of your article, where it’s going to be published (if at all), when your deadline is, and how much time you expect the interview will take. I will get back to you ASAP with my availability. I like email or chat interviews but I can also do phone interviews if you’re willing to pay any long-distance charges that might apply (I live in Canada).

Want me to write for your website/blog/publication?

While I love writing, I am at a point in my career where I don’t work for free.

Please contact me to discuss what you’d like me to write and what you intend to offer me in exchange for my work. Free products and “exposure” are not currency; I can’t pay my bills with either of those things, so I don’t accept them as payment.

Want me to join your affiliate program?

At this time, I only join the affiliate programs of websites that are regularly sending me products to review. If you’re not sending me products to review (or buying ads/sponsored content on my site), then I’ll have no reason to link to you, making my membership in your affiliate program useless to both of us.

It’s also important that your affiliate program offer at least 15% commission, relatively low payout thresholds ($100 or less), and payouts via Paypal, or I’m probably not interested.

Personal policies

Want to flirt with me?

The same policy applies whether you’re flirting with me IRL or over the internet: don’t be a creep. Read my article on how not to be creepy and treat it like gospel. Don’t make everything into a weird sexual situation; being a sex blogger does not mean I am a nymphomaniac or that I consent to everything.

If you’re ever in doubt, even a little bit, ask if something’s okay before you do it.

Want to send me a sexual photo?

Don’t ever send anyone sexual media without their consent. This includes dick pics, porn gifs, videos, naked photos, and any other visual sexual media. I will block you if you do this in any medium.

When in doubt, ask. It’s easy and polite to type a quick, “Hey, do you want to see a picture of my penis?” instead of just sending it immediately. (99.9% of the time, my answer will be “no,” but I will appreciate that you asked instead of just doing it.)

Want to meet me in person?

I occasionally tweet or blog about events I’m attending. It’s fine for you to come to those events, say hello to me, and introduce yourself, so long as you aren’t a dick or a creep.