Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!
This thing is the best clit stimulator I have ever tried. Period. No other sex toy has ever made my clit as happy as the Eroscillator does. And I’ll tell you why.
1. The oscillations don’t numb me out. The Eroscillator doesn’t pound against your body like a regular vibrator – instead, it oscillates (picture an oscillating fan). I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with vibrators because they desensitize me so quickly – I usually only have about 10 minutes before I go mostly numb and find it difficult to reach orgasm with the toy. Not so with the Eroscillator. The Eros allows me to retain all the sensation from my clit’s 8,000 nerve endings for the entire duration of my solo sexytime, so every moment of oscillation is felt and enjoyed. And I can play as long as I want, without worrying about trying to race my clit to the finish line. Hallelujah!
2. Multiple attachments. The Eroscillator 2 Plus package comes with three dual-headed attachments: the Grapes and Cockscomb, Golden Spoon, and Ball and Cup.
The Grapes head is suuuper textured. It’s covered in ten bulbous balls that all massage the clit at once. I find it’s very intense and ideal for when I’m already warmed up and getting close to orgasm. Its flipside, the Cockscomb, is a thin semicircle whose edge provides the most direct, undiluted access to the oscillations of any of the attachment heads; I find this head is great for pushing me over the edge, though I can’t handle it at a lower arousal level.
The Golden Spoon doesn’t do much for me. It’s too shallow to properly cup my clit, and even when it does, the little ball at the top of the spoon is too harsh for my little clit. On the flipside are eight small balls, with a space in the middle where my clit can fit, but I don’t particularly enjoy this attachment.
The Ball side of the Ball and Cup is nice for warm-up but doesn’t do much for me. The Cup side, on the other hand, fits perfectly over my clit. It was the first one I tried, and it was the one that made me go, “Oh my god, how can this possibly feel as good as it does?!”
I also bought the Ultra-Soft Fingertip attachment, because Betty Dodson says it’s the only one you need. Some people find this attachment too gentle, but I think it’s perfect. The Eroscillator’s oscillations are a tiny bit too intense for me, but the Fingertip calms them down to a level that is absolutely optimum for my purposes. Plus, it’s got no texture, so if the other attachments are too rough on your clit, this is the one to get.
3. High power. The Eroscillator is a plug-in toy. No batteries, no recharging, nothing. And the power cord is 12 feet long, so I can jerk off across the room from my outlet if that’s what I feel like doing. Because the Eros is electric, it never loses power. It always performs to the best of its ability.
It has three speeds, and all of them are lovely. I could probably reach orgasm using only the first setting, but it’s more fun to click up to medium, and then finally to high when I get close to coming. (The high setting may not be comparable with the Hitachi, but because oscillations are so different from vibrations, it’s still every bit as satisfying and functional as a high-powered vibrator.)
4. Quiet. The attachments rattle around a fair bit when the Eros is turned on, but as soon as I touch it to my body, the noise practically goes silent. It can barely be heard at all through my duvet, and definitely can’t be heard at all through my door.
5. Fast orgasms. Because the Eros’ movement basically mimics a finger moving back and forth, but much much faster, it can bring me the same kind of awesome orgasms I get from rubbing my clit, but in a much shorter time. I’m normally the type of girl who needs lots of warm-up and build-up, but with the Eros, I can go from “zero” to “orgasm” in under five minutes if need be.
That said, there are some issues with the Eroscillator that you’ll want to keep in mind if you’re considering buying it…
1. It’s overpriced. Especially considering that it’s made of plastic and you may not like the attachments it comes with. The Fingertip attachment I bought, which some reviewers have said is the only one they enjoy at all, is $40 extra on top of the $140 Eroscillator. I doubt I even would have sprung for the Fingertip if I hadn’t had a reviewers’ discount and some reward points saved up, because I really think the price is ridiculous.
2. The attachments aren’t silicone, but Eroscillator says that’s because their material is “a better alternative to silicone’s poor mechanical properties.” I dunno about that, but the materials are apparently non-porous, phthalate-free, boilable and bleachable. I still wish they were silicone because I just trust it more, but then, I’m a sex toy snob.
3. It doesn’t come with any storage solutions. Not even a bag to keep the attachments in. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Lelo and Njoy, but I’ve come to expect that if I shell out over $100 for a toy, it generally comes with a box, or at the very least, a drawstring bag. The Eroscillator comes in a cardboard box that’s difficult to use for storage. I keep my base unit on my bedside table and my attachments in a small plastic bag.
4. It’s ugly. I wasn’t sure whether to even include this point, because a) I don’t think the Eroscillator is that ugly and b) it doesn’t really matter to me anyway, because it’s still the best toy I’ve tried. But some people get hung up on the Eros’ appearance, saying it looks like an electric toothbrush or a medieval torture device. Whatever, man – if you turn it down because it doesn’t fit with your decor, you’re just missing out on some epic orgasms.
Overall, I’d highly recommend the Eroscillator to anyone with a clit. It’s strong, efficient, variable, thin enough to slide between two bodies during sex, and it produces some stellar orgasms. But if you need Hitachi-level vibration, or you don’t feel it’s worth the hefty investment, or you can’t get past its modest looks, maybe it’s not the toy for you.
I can tell you, though, that my clit is pretty damn enamored with this contraption, and I think yours would be too!
Thank you so much to the people at SexToysCanada for making my clit sing with pleasure!