Review: Pipedream Metal Worx XL Luv Plug

I loooove steel; it’s indubitably my favorite material for anal toys in particular. But there are some things you gotta know before you think about investing in a steel butt plug.

1. They’re probably not a great idea if you’ve never engaged in any kind of anal play before, because they’re heavy and immediately very noticeable. You might find the sensation a bit overwhelming; it’s like diving into the deep end without any swimming lessons. Try something small and silicone first.

2. They work with any lube, so use what you like. However, my across-the-board policy on anal lube is that I use exclusively thick, gel-like, water-based ones. I have yet to find a silicone-based lube thick enough to work for my butt, and despite the generalization that water-based lubes tend to evaporate quicker than other kinds, I find that types with a gel consistency last seemingly forever – or at least, long enough for me to get my butt jollies and then pop the plug out pain-free.

3. Be extra cautious when carrying or washing a steel plug, because it is bound to be HEAVY and you can do some serious damage with it if you’re reckless or careless. Don’t drop it in the sink, or you risk cracking your ceramic. Don’t drop it on your toes, or you risk cracking your bones. To quote Mad-Eye Moody: “CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”

4. Steel plugs must, must, must be designed ergonomically for the body, or they will be uncomfortable at best and agonizing at worst. Read reviews (like this one!) to get a good sense – though not a perfect sense, because everyone’s body is different – of whether the toy you’re thinking about buying is actually butt-friendly, comfortable, and seems to have been tested by actual humans at some point during the production process.

I was sent the Metal Worx XL Luv Plug and it’s okay but I have some quibbles about it. My butt has been spoiled by the best steel plugs in existence, the Njoy Pure Plugs, so my standards for steel plugs are high, but maybe that’s a good thing.

I just drafted a whole paragraph about how this plug is supposedly “extra-large” but isn’t actually that big, and how I suspected that the measurements on the product page must be inflated. But then I got out my tape measure, just to make sure, and apparently this thing actually is TWO INCHES in diameter, like it says it is. Holy shit. My vagina can’t even handle two inches of steel, let alone my ass. How is this witchcraft possible?! I guess the shape is so nicely tapered that it lets my butt smoothly transition from tiny tip to wide-ass middle. There is sometimes a little pain or discomfort if I don’t warm up properly by using a smaller plug for a while first, but it’s not too bad. (Definitely start with something smaller if you’re new to anal play, though. The Mini Luv Plug, for example.)

Basically all my problems with this plug are with its lower half, i.e. the neck and base. The upper half is fine – great, even. Properly sized, comfortably tapered, pleasantly heavy. Just fabulous, really.

But the neck… It strikes me as being too thin, even considering that butt plug necks are supposed to be thin to make the plug more comfortable and help it stay in better. This neck just feels so thin that it’s like I can hardly tell there’s even a plug inside me, once it’s fully inserted. It makes me wish I had just a little more girth to clench around. When I masturbate with a butt plug in (which I don’t do very often, but still), I like to have some sense that there’s something in my ass so I can imagine I’m being butt-fucked; this one feels almost imperceptible when it’s in because the neck puts no pressure or weight on the opening of my ass at all.

The base is the worst. It’s one of those terrible round bases that seems to have been designed by someone with no knowledge of the existence of buttcheeks. I can wear this plug comfortably if I’m lying down spread-eagled and my cheeks are wide apart (how d’you like that image?!) but if I’m walking, sitting, or doing normal human things, the (SHARP) edges of the base start to dig into my chubby butt. That feeling is about as far removed from “sexy” as I can imagine.

My other problem with the base is the sparkly clear crystal on the bottom. It’s very pretty, definitely an appreciated aesthetic touch, but it’s poorly designed. The middle of it is flat but the edges slope upward, so that if the toy is jostled at all while standing on its base, it tips over, usually resulting in it falling onto some part of my body in a painful way or rolling off my desk. Maybe other people don’t care about this, but dammit, I think a toy should be able to stand up on its own. If you can’t display it or stand it at the ready next to your bed, then what’s the point?!

I might recommend this plug if it were cheaper (as many Pipedream toys are), but it sells for $63 or more, depending on where you get it. For that price, you could have your pick of the small or medium Pure Plug, or spend just a little more and get the large. The Pure Plugs have a way better design than the Luv Plug, in that they feel super comfortable the entire time you’re wearing them, and they stay put when you put ‘em somewhere, whether that “somewhere” is your butt or your bedside table. You can also really feel them when they’re in – in a very, very good way.

It’s hard to go wrong with a steel plug, but the XL Luv Plug just doesn’t get it quite right. Better luck next time, Pipedream.

This toy was sent to me courtesy of Pipedream and PinkCherry. Thanks, babes!