Review: Something Forbidden Butt Plug

I’ve tried a lot of butt plugs in my day, but the Something Forbidden is easily the worst-designed of all of them.

It’s from the official Fifty Shades of Grey collection, meaning it was co-designed by E. L. James, so really, I should’ve guessed it would suck. But I thought that the other co-designer, Lovehoney, would know better, given that they actually make and sell sex toys (including the Sqweel, which I like). But nope. This butt plug is straight-up terrible.

Let’s go through the concerns I have with it, from most horrifying to least:

First off, the base is the WORST base I have ever encountered. It’s ring-shaped, and it is made of incredibly floppy, squishy, thin silicone. I can squish the base completely flat between two fingers with minimal effort. This means that whenever I wear the plug, I am constantly terrified that the base is going to smush together and the whole toy is going to slip inside me, necessitating a mad dash to the emergency room. Not fun.

Secondly, the words “Fifty Shades of Grey” are carved into the side of the plug. Not only is that a lot of tiny text to have to scrub with an old toothbrush during the cleaning process, but also – the text is engraved on the plug itself, not the base. So you’ve got a shit ton of text that can easily become encrusted with, you guessed it, actual shit. And lube, and whatever else. And it’s not that easy to clean. Gross. Major, major design flaw.

Thirdly, there’s a big seam running all the way around the plug. This isn’t the kind of thing I usually notice on sex toys (maybe my butt just isn’t that sensitive?) but I know it drives other people nuts, so it’s worth noting.

If the Something Forbidden were overhauled and those three glaring problems were fixed, I could see it being a decent plug for the kind of audience the Fifty Shades collection is aiming for: vanilla folks who have never or seldom tried kink before (including anal play). This plug is a good size for beginners, at 1″ in diameter, and it has a nicely tapered tip that makes it easy to insert. It also plays well with my favorite lube; I didn’t find I needed to reapply, even after an hour of wear.

The plug comes with a lovely silver-grey storage bag with the words Fifty Shades of Grey printed on it. While it’s obviously not the most discreet storage solution in the world, I still appreciate it. Too many companies forget the importance of including a storage bag, especially with lint-happy silicone toys like this one.

But overall? Please, please, please, don’t buy this plug. It’s a Colossal Butt Hazard. If you want something similarly sized and shaped, but 100% more safe, I highly recommend Tantus’s Meteorite, Slim, or Little Flirt. Or you could pay $60 for the best butt plug ever and never have to worry about your butt’s needs again.

Just stay the fuck away from the Something Forbidden. I do, indeed, forbid you to put it in your butt.

Thanks so much to PinkCherry for providing me with this toy!