Review: VerSpanken

I love that more and more companies are launching innovations in the world of male masturbators. Vibrators and dildos for women are always moving forward in their technology and design, but it seems like male toys have been at a stand-still for quite a while.

And then… along came the VerSpanken.

My local sex shop said they needed someone to test and review a new toy for penises. As I have a willing boyfriend and some experience reviewing toys, I volunteered myself (and my man’s cock) for the job – and I was gleeful when they said yes.

It’s a weird-looking toy. It initially reminded me of an alien’s vagina or a pair of skinny water balloons.

Basically, it consists of two bright blue tubular inserts squished inside a plastic casing that can open and close. You snap it open, stick your dick in it, pour lube all over everything, snap it shut, and thrust to your heart’s content. It’s supposed to mimic the sensation of a blowjob.

I didn’t think this toy could pry my boyfriend away from his Fleshlight, and I was right. The VerSpanken is too thin, he says: it doesn’t cover the length of his dick, only a small section at a time, which isn’t enough pressure or stimulation to get him off. He tried this toy a few times, both with my help and on his own, and it was never able to bring him to orgasm.

On the other hand, there are ways in which the VerSpanken is way more convenient than a Fleshlight. For example, it’s much easier to clean: the whole thing is soap-safe and open-ended, so you can wash it with soap and water without even taking the components apart and nothing horrible will happen (like mould). You can also use any kind of lube with it – you’re not limited to water-based like you are with a Fleshlight. It’s significantly cheaper than a Fleshlight, at only $39. And it’s practically silent – none of those weird wheezing or squishing noises that our other male masturbation toys have produced.

It’s also worth noting that the VerSpanken is quite tight. One of its selling points is that you can supposedly adjust the pressure – which is slightly true; you can squeeze it if you want it to be tighter – but it’s already tight on its own, at least for my boyfriend’s average-sized penis. This will make it a success with guys who like a lot of concentrated pressure on their dick.

Another cool feature of the VerSpanken is that you can swap out the original inserts for “WaterWieners,” water-filled inserts which can be microwaved or refrigerated for temperature play. We tried these out and they hold temperature very nicely.

Overall, my boyfriend wasn’t thrilled with the VerSpanken – not because it’s a bad toy, but because it just didn’t work for him. His dick isn’t a fan of intense pressure or stimulation that’s limited to only one area at a time – but if you like that kind of thing, or your man does, this might be just what you’re looking for.