Astroglide X Silicone Liquid
Recently Matt and I were wandering around in uptown New York, spending a staycation weekend enjoying the Central Park sunshine, when… the dreaded chub rub struck.
If you don’t know about chub rub, well, I envy you. It’s the phenomenon of body parts sliding against one another in a painful and irritating way, often exacerbated by sweat and humidity. I inevitably get at least a few really painful bouts of chub rub between my thighs every summer, because as much as I try to be careful about wearing cotton bike shorts under my dresses, you just can’t always predict when you’ll want (or need) to go for a long stroll.
That’s what happened to me during our late-spring staycation, and I didn’t want to give up and go back to the hotel – so we stopped at a CVS and went in search of silicone-based lube, an oft-recommended preventative measure against chub rub. Silicone reduces the friction between thighs (or other chub-rubbin’ body parts), so that they slide more smoothly against one another and get less irritated.
The only one I could find in the drugstore was this unostentatious purple-capped bottle from Astroglide – but notably, silicone-based lubes don’t actually differ all that much from one another. Much like Uberlube – the most widely beloved silicone lube amongst my friend group, and a noted anti-chub-rub agent – this Astroglide one is long-lasting, slick as hell, and essentially tasteless except for a very mild powdery flavor. This one is cheaper and more widely available, although its packaging certainly isn’t as glamorous as Uberlube’s. In any case, it nixed my impending chub rub and worked well for a handjob later that night, so I’m happy with my purchase!
Could it possibly be true? A rechargeable bullet vibrator for just $21… and it’s actually good?!?
BMS is renowned for their rumbly motors – the earthshattering Swan Wand is a prime example – and this bullet is one of its most stripped-down iterations. Seeing that it’s also USB-rechargeable, swathed in satiny silicone, and fully waterproof, this vibe could easily be viewed as a cheaper dupe of the revered We-Vibe Tango X – and at about a quarter of the price, that’s pretty astonishing.
I personally will probably continue to use my Tango X more often, though, for a few reasons: it has a higher number of steady vibration speeds (8 to the Essential Bullet’s 4), has three different buttons (as opposed to the Essential Bullet’s one button you have to click to cycle through its settings), and has a pointed/angled tip that allows for several different types/intensities of clitoral stimulation (the Essential Bullet’s classic rounded shape isn’t as versatile, though it will fit into bullet-compatible toys more easily).
That said, I’m very impressed with this toy for its price point, and the fact that it comes with a travel-friendly zippered hard storage case (which also fits its charging cable) just sweetens the deal, especially for someone in a long-distance relationship like me. If you want powerful vibrations on a budget, in a tiny package, get the Essential Bullet!
Zalo fox fur tickler
I’m not sure why, but this product doesn’t seem to be available anymore. Weird. Probably has something to do with the fox fur (no longer available? too expensive to acquire consistently? consumers got angry about it?) but it’s anyone’s guess. Anyway, I didn’t ask for this – and probably wouldn’t have, since it’s made with actual fur and I don’t feel great about that – but it was sent to me in a PR package of other Zalo stuff, so I thought I might as well try it out.
There’s no denying that this is a super elegant object. Its gold-toned stainless steel handle feels sexy and luxurious in my hand, and is long enough to give me good control without being cumbersome. The fur itself is cloudlike: white, soft, so gentle to the touch that you’re almost not sure it’s even there.
Ticklers are one of those items that a lot of vanilla people think kinky people would be into, but I hardly ever hear about any actual kinky people actually using them. This one is, at least, quite fancy and beautiful, unlike the cheapo ones that often find their way into sex conference swag bags and bachelorette kits along with sad buzzy fingertip vibes and papery blindfolds. I haven’t had a chance to use it in a scene yet, but I imagine it’d be fun combined with bondage and a blindfold, and perhaps contrasted with more intense sensations, like being hit with a leather strap or having a Wartenberg wheel rolled all over my body.
Real fur is an ethical line I admittedly have crossed before, but that was always with vintage furs, which IMO are in a different category morally because they’ve already been made and would likely end up in a landfill if no one bought them from consignment shops and thrift stores. I don’t feel good about recommending this product because it’s made of real fur, even though I think it’s beautiful and high-quality. Is anyone making gorgeous, luxurious faux-fur ticklers for kinky sensation play out there? I’d be curious to know!
I’ve tried a few different sensation-enhancing products spiked with cannabinoids, and this one may be a top-tier fave, even after only using it a few times.
The main reason I like it: While it does contain peppermint oil like most other products of this type, the mint is quite toned-down in the formula compared to others I’ve tried. When there’s too much mint, my vulva gets so ridiculously overwhelmed by the minty intensity that all the oil’s other, more subtle effects become less noticeable. In the Her Highness version, the mint acts like a garnish in a cocktail, bringing out the sensations caused by the CBD without overpowering them.
Her Highness says this is “not a lube, it’s an orgasm enhancer.” Its two active ingredients work in tandem: CBD boosts relaxation and lubrication, while Spilanthes Acmella (had to Google that one!) is a vasorelaxant, meaning it improves circulation and prompts arousal. In my experience, the effects of CBD on the vulva, clitoris, and labia are fairly subtle – I definitely get aroused more easily, and my partner observes that it’s easier to get me off when we use CBD products, but it’s not, like, a whole new sensation or anything. I like that this oil allows me to appreciate those nuanced effects without proverbially drowning my genitals in peppermint oil.
As with all oils, don’t use this with condoms because it’ll degrade the latex. And as with all sexy CBD products, this one absorbs best if you massage it into mucous membranes, like the inner labia and inside of the vagina, which is why they don’t typically have much of an effect on penises (bummer!). But I like it and will continue to use it when I need a little help getting turned on!
Personal Fav Whet plant-based sex serum
The name of this product makes me laugh, especially when contrasted with its deeply elegant packaging.
This is a water-based lube with deliciously design-y branding. It lacks all the nasties you don’t want in your lube (glycerine, propylene glycol, parabens, etc.) and contains some active ingredients ideal for sex: hemp extract to amp up sensations, chamomile to calm any irritation, ginseng to enhance arousal, aloe vera to soothe your skin, and horny goat weed to increase desire. I haven’t really noticed these effects, to be honest, but it’s a good list of ingredients nonetheless!
This lube has basically no scent and a very mildly sweet taste, making it great for oral sex if you need some extra wetness. Like most water-based lubes, it dries out within a few minutes, but can easily be rehydrated by adding a little water (or, if you’re lazy/if you’re me, saliva or vaginal lubrication). It’s on the thinner side – I find most aloe lubes are – so it’s not ideal for activities that need a lot of lubrication and a lot of cushioning, like anal sex or fisting. As with many lubes of its ilk, I find it works best for vaginal penetration, because my vag getting wetter over time helps the lube stay wet the whole time I’m using it.
Frankly, though, one of my favorite things about this lube is its packaging! The matte black bottle is hard and won’t get squished in your handbag or suitcase; it’s also slim and space-effective. The shiny black plastic cap doesn’t fall off easily like so many other lube bottle caps. And it has a pump top, making it great for heat-of-the-moment lubin’. I can’t say the formula is my “personal fav” – it lacks the thick, luxurious glide of something like Sutil Rich – but it’s perfectly serviceable, and the durable, travel-friendly packaging means I’ll grab it more often than a lot of my other, better-formulated but less convenient lubes.
Zalo & Upko Doll Designer Collection silicone rose ballgag
This is the prettiest ballgag I’ve ever seen!! I wanted it desperately from the first moment I saw it in a Zalo press release that landed in my inbox. Ballgags are typically pretty utilitarian in appearance; this one is unapologetically fancy and (for my sensibilities, at least) glamorously femme.
The gag part is made of silky red silicone with no noticeable smell or taste. Metal snaps connect it to leather straps; I love being able to disconnect the straps so I can wash the gag without messing up the leather. You can also remove the rose part, leaving a simple red silicone ball with a hole through it, so this toy is a 2-in-1: you can use it on this “breathable setting” if you’re still getting used to ballgags, and then add in the rose when you want a more ~aesthetic~ vibe. (Zalo also notes that if you wanted to, you could poke a finger underneath the rose, through the hole, and into your partner’s mouth as a “finger tease,” but fingers in my mouth is a hard limit for me, so, nope. I know lots of people are into it though.)
I’ve only tried a couple of ballgags (I think?! I dunno, I’ve been doing this a long time) so I can’t compare this one to many others in its genre, but I will say that it’s quite comfortable but still produces the requisite amounts of powerlessness and drooling that gag aficionacos seem to adore. I’m not a frequent gag user at all, but I love the glamour of this one and I’m sure I’ll use it a lot in the fullness of time!
Thanks to Zalo, Her Highness, and Personal Fav for sending me these products to try! The first two in this post (Astroglide + Essential Bullet) were purchased with my own money.
First: the controls. The Swan Wand has two buttons – one to control each motor – and they both work the same way: you press once to turn the motor on, press additional times to scroll through the toy’s 7 vibration functions, or press and hold to increase the vibration speed. The toy’s LED light flashes gradually faster as the vibration speed increases, and then turns solid once you’ve reached the max speed. At any point while on a higher speed, you can press the button again to bring the vibe back down to the speed you started at – a useful function for people like me who get overstimulated easily and need to dial things back multiple times in a session.