Naked in Front of People: A Guide for Nudity Newbies

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Me and Caitlin at Body Pride

Last week, I went to Body Pride – again.

It was my third time going, so I know the ropes by now. But I remember when I attended my first one. It felt like there was so much to worry about.

In everyday life, probably only about 30% of your body, maximum, is showing at any given time. The upkeep of the rest is less important, because it’ll only be seen under special circumstances (e.g. during sex). But when you’re gonna be naked in front of people – especially for hours at a time, like at Body Pride workshops – there’s more to consider.

Granted, the whole point of Body Pride is self-acceptance. But you still probably want to look and feel your best. So here are my tips for preparing when you know you’ll be naked for a while – whether you’re shooting porn, going to a nudist colony, or just hangin’ out with some pals in the buff.

Test-run your makeup look in advance, if you wear makeup. I don’t quite know why, but some types of makeup look totally fine when you’re clothed but super weird and out of place once you get naked. I find that nudity pairs best with minimalistic looks – but on the other hand, if thick winged liner and fire-engine red lipstick will give you the confidence to rock your naked bod, by all means, go for it.

Wear a layered outfit that’s easy and quick to remove. Does that sound like a contradiction in terms? It shouldn’t – layers don’t necessarily have to be bulky or restrictive. The reason I recommend layers is that you might feel awkward if you’re the first person to get done undressing. You’ll be standing there completely nude while others are still shimmying out of their jeans. It’s best if your outfit can be removed quickly or slowly, so you can adjust your stripping speed to fit the vibe of the event. I usually like to wear a slip dress or nightgown (easy to step out of in a hurry) and a cardigan (allows for dawdling while I undo the buttons).

Do your body hair removal well in advance, if body hair removal is a thing that you do. Razor burn, ingrown hairs and post-wax rashes are not only unsightly but also uncomfortable. Give yourself at least a couple days between hair removal and naked-time, just incase something goes awry.

Moisturize. Cool clothes jazz up your appearance when you’re wearing them, but when you’re naked, moisturized skin provides a similarly polished effect. Trust me, it’s way cuter than dry, ashen skin. Moisturization is also important if you plan on doing any self-tanning before your big naked event.

Use internal menstrual products if you get your period. Menstrual cups, sponges, or tampons (with the string tucked inside) can all be basically invisible, even when you’re completely nude.

Think about butt and vag protection. This really depends on the location where you’ll be getting naked, and what you’ll be doing once you’re naked, but it’s worth thinking about. If you’ll be sitting on the floor or ground, you’ll probably want a pillow and/or towel so you don’t get dirt on your bare ass and/or vaginal fluids on somebody’s bare floor.

Maintain good posture and body language. I don’t know why, but slouching looks even less attractive than usual when a naked person does it. Contrastingly, there is something so sexy and beautiful about a straight-backed, lithe-looking person in the nude. When you’re naked, all your body’s shapes and lines are visually amplified, so make like a Botticelli babe and think long, tall, loose-limbed and elegant.

Ensure you’ll smell good. Naked bodies produce scents more readily than clothed ones; it’s a fact of life. You might want to expand the zones where you typically apply deodorant and/or perfume. (Don’t go overboard, though, especially since there might be some folks with scent sensitivities. Ask if you’re not sure!)

Enjoy yourself! Being naked is so much fun. In our culture, free-and-easy nudity is rare, so appreciate the opportunity when it comes your way. You may even find (as I do at the end of every Body Pride event) that being naked starts to feel like the most natural, lovely thing in the world!

Body Pride – or, Why I Spent Four Hours Naked With Strangers

A few months ago, I was on a tea date with a friend and she suddenly announced, “I know this girl, and she runs these Body Pride workshops! Everyone gets naked and you sit in a circle and talk about body image and sex and stuff! Do you want to go with me?”

I said sure, but I was thinking, Uh, that sounds kind of terrifying. See, I’m an introvert. A huge one. Maybe it’s not apparent from this blog, but I am. And meeting new people is scary enough as it is, but doing it naked? That seemed a little too far out of my comfort zone.

Fast forward a few months. In the middle of the night, I had a fit of impulsivity, as I often do, and fired off an e-mail to the workshop organizer, Caitlin, asking her to sign me up for an upcoming Body Pride event. In the morning, I asked my friend if she still wanted to do it with me, and she said yes. So it was a plan.

The day finally came. I found the top-secret location that had been texted to me, and nervously punched numbers into the buzzer. “Hey, I’m here for Body Pride?” I said into the speaker, feeling that the tone of my voice didn’t exactly convey the “pride” that would be my goal tonight. I sounded like a little mouse.

Caitlin let me into the beautiful space and I kicked off my shoes and sat down on the floor with the other girls who had arrived so far. The middle of the circle was full of delicious, healthy snacks, and the ladies were chatting about relationships and sex (what else?). Caitlin brought me a glass of wine and I slurped some down for courage. Most of the folks were older than me, or seemed that way, anyway (I sometimes feel like a 15-year-old when I go into shy-girl mode), but I didn’t feel too out of place.

When everyone had arrived, Caitlin and Khadeja passed out forms for us to sign. We had to agree that we wouldn’t sue the workshop organizers if the experience messed us up in any way (I can’t imagine how it could), and we could optionally allow them to use our photos on their website and in their work-in-progress photography book. Yes, there would be a photoshoot at the end of the night. I wasn’t sure whether I was mostly nervous or excited about that part. Somewhere around here, I noticed that my friend hadn’t shown up after all, so it was just me and eight women I’d never met before. Yikes.

Then an announcement was made to the effect of, “Okay, everybody get naked!” and we did. I think my boobs were the first ones to come out, because I’d purposely worn minimal clothing to make it easier to disrobe. And, to my amazement, I didn’t feel the least bit ashamed or embarrassed. Everyone else was taking off their clothes, too. And then we were all sitting in a circle, completely naked, like it was the most normal thing in the world (because it kind of is).

The organizers passed out “muff mats,” little hand-towels for us to sit our pussies on, because women have bodies and those bodies sometimes excrete stuff that probably doesn’t belong on a stranger’s floor. Not in a shamey way, just in a practical way, you understand.

While everyone sipped their drinks and passed back the last of their signed forms, Caitlin explained where the idea for Body Pride had come from. She told us the story of her revelation that bodies weren’t something to be ashamed of, or even to be “just okay” with – that they should be loved, embraced, celebrated. And so she’d decided to take photos of herself naked and post them on the internet (indeed, one of the bravest and most scarily permanent decisions a young woman can make in this day and age). She’d then gotten an e-mail from a friend asking if there were going to be “happy naked girl parties” to further this agenda, and a lightbulb went off in Caitlin’s head. And so Body Pride was born.

The workshop was run in an around-the-circle way, with each woman speaking on the topic at hand when it was her turn. First we talked about why we’d decided to attend; answers ranged from “It just sounded like fun” to “I need to become more comfortable with my naked body” to “I just broke up with my boyfriend and this seemed like a good thing to do afterward.” Even though we all had different specific reasons, it seemed that our intentions were ultimately the same: to be with other naked women in a non-sexual but personally and sexually affirming way.

We talked about our childhood experiences with sexuality and masturbation, our parents’ influences, our present-day body image, sexual debuts, relationship regrets, wishes for the future, threesomes, and porn. We covered many topics, thoroughly and respectfully. Every woman’s words were listened to and absorbed. The discussion was structured but still participant-led. Caitlin sort of sat back and let us talk about what we wanted to talk about, only intervening occasionally if we needed to be steered a little.

By the end of our hours-long talk, most of us were pretty drunk, and nudity felt completely natural and normal. Caitlin and Khadeja moved over to the white backdrop that was already pinned up on one wall, and set up a tripod, camera, and large studio light. Someone put on some sexy, groovy, cheesy music from the ‘90s (I definitely remember there was Sir Mix-A-Lot and the Spice Girls) that got us into a dancing mood. And one by one, we each took our turn in front of the camera, shaking our booties, flaunting our bodies, loving our beauty. I felt like a drunker version of Bettie Page. I felt powerful and gorgeous and luminescent.

When we weren’t posing, we signed the Body Pride guestbook, talked about ex-boyfriends, and had more to drink. These women, who I’d only met a few hours before, I felt like I understood. I saw that their motivations and histories were not so different from mine, even though some of them had had over 300 sexual partners and I’ve only had two. We were all united in the common pursuit of sexual freedom and radical self-love.

Finally, it was time to go. I put my clothes back on, which felt weird. I stumbled out drunkenly into the street and said goodbye to everyone. Then I went home and had a bagel and pondered the nature of female sexuality.

Interested in attending a Body Pride workshop? Do you live in the Toronto area or can you get there? Then keep an eye on Caitlin’s website for future events!

Sharing the Sexy #1

I’m going to start doing a round-up of links to articles, threads, photos, etc. that are relevant to the interests of this blog. It will be sporadic and periodic, but hopefully you’ll still enjoy it! Here’s what I’m diggin’ on this week:

This guy on Sexxit was all in a tizzy because his potential girlfriend masturbates every other day (GASP! The horror!). We set him straight.

• Also on Sexxit: would you date a pre-op trans* person of your preferred gender? The answers are largely offensive and ignorant (as you can generally expect when a mostly cis group has a discussion about trans issues), but there are a few good ones. I liked Afro_Samurai’s comment: “Really not certain how I would feel in terms of physical attractiveness. I’m certain I would be paranoid about saying something insensitive, screwing up with gendered language or something.”

• Misty writes about trans-friendly and genderqueer-friendly parenting. “What your (our!) job is, as a parent, is to give him the strength and confidence to be himself and to face those who will question him and give him crap because he doesn’t conform to their ideas of who he should be. Giving him yourself as support and the tools of confidence is what will ‘protect’ him in the long run.”

• Rosie describes her experience at a Body Pride workshop. I was at the same workshop, and will be putting up my article about it just as soon as I get my hands on the naked photos that were taken of me there!

• The SexIs Social writing contest applicants are being put to a vote. I would really appreciate if you could vote for one of my articles, whichever one you like best – I wrote Menstrual Sex: It’s Not Just For Vampires, The 5 Hallmarks of Feminist Porn, and Why You Should Buy Your Mom a Sex Toy. Thanks, lovelies!

• My new article came out on Sex Toys Canada: How to Improve Your Genital Flavour. It’s a rundown on dietary adjustments and tasty products you can use to sweeten yourself up, if you’re into that. I also wrote an article about the anterior fornix (or A-spot) for SexIs.

This period-tracking app looks perfect! (I use MonthlyInfo.com – do you use a period tracker?)

• I showed my boyfriend this foreskin-fingering technique and asked him if he’d ever tried it. He has a very very sensitive penis, so this was his answer: “AAAAAH WAAAAAT NOOOOO!”

Have a good weekend, y’all! I’ll see you Monday for more chattin’ about porn, sex toys, and all that other good stuff.