cunnilingus simulator

Review: Acmejoy Lolita

Kate Sloan

I was suspicious of the Acmejoy Lolita from the start, because it’s repeatedly described on its product page as being suitable for beginners.

Granted, it’s not inherently wrong to describe a sex toy as beginner-friendly – I certainly do it pretty often. But when I say that about a toy, what I tend to mean is that it will give beginners an introduction to sex toys (or to a particular category of sex toy) that is both user-friendly and pleasurable. I’ve heard from far too many people who gave up on sex toys after trying one bad one, and so I recommend certain toys to beginners the same way I’d tell a friend to start with my favorite episode of a TV show I wanted them to watch. I want their first impression to be positive and enjoyable, and for them to not feel alienated by it.

But all too often in the sex toy industry, when a toy is described as beginner-friendly, what that means is: It has a friendly and unintimidating aesthetic, but produces weak sensations. There’s an assumption being made that sex toy newbies are far more sensitive than long-time toy users, and that therefore, a toy which might disappoint an experienced user would be just fine for a beginner. I don’t think this is true – and I think it’s insulting.

A truly beginner-friendly vibrator will have a wide range of settings, so that new users can experiment to figure out what sensations they like. It should be a toy they can enjoy right out of the box but that they can also “grow into,” if, for example, they find that they want stronger vibrations a few months down the road, or want to try using a vibe internally after only using it externally. It should be versatile, varied, and forgiving.

The Acmejoy Lolita is none of those things, sadly.

But let’s back up and start with the basics. What is this toy? The Lolita – also known as the “Baby Octopus,” which is a much more apt name, seeing as that is what it looks like – is a small clitoral stimulator with two different functions, sucking and licking. The “sucking” is pressure-wave stimulation, and the “licking” is the rapid movement of a mechanical silicone tongue.

Despite what the Lolita’s inaccurate marketing copy says (“Pleasure two of your hottest hot spots at once!”), you can’t use both of these functions simultaneously, because they are located at different places on the toy. This is a cool idea in theory – you could start with licking and escalate to sucking when you’re turned on enough, or vice-versa. It is a bit odd that both functions are always on if the toy is on (there’s only one button on the toy, which controls both functions at once), but it could be useful if you plan on switching back and forth quickly between the two functions during any given session. Two vulva-owners could also theoretically get into a scissor-ish position and each use one of the toy’s functions at once, but I think it would be challenging to get the angles right.

One other potential benefit to how this toy is designed: If you want to get “sucked” by the pressure-wave part of the toy, while looking at its little silicone tongue flapping, there is a way you can position the toy so that is possible. I sometimes found this vaguely hot, as someone who watches a lot of cunnilingus porn. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My immediate thought, upon discovering that there’s no way to only engage one function at a time, was, “Isn’t that taxing on the motor?” In my experience with low-end to mid-range dual- and triple-stimulation toys, each of the functions tends to weaken when you turn on the other functions, because the motor isn’t typically engineered well enough to keep pace when it’s doing that much at once. It’s like trying to run The Sims on an old laptop.

Indeed, I think the Lolita’s strength suffers substantially for there being no way to use the functions individually. It’s… disappointingly weak, to say the least. Both the sucking and the licking feel very surface-level and insubstantial. Like, yeah, I know they’re happening, but my clit just doesn’t care. In my testing sessions, I was barely able to get turned on, let alone get off. And that’s with weed and porn factored into the equation.

The tongue certainly felt better than the suction. It felt slightly more impactful and even felt a bit like a real tongue at times, albeit the tongue of someone who is teasing you by giving you maddeningly gentle head. The tongue slows down significantly when pressure is applied, though, so for me, this could only ever be a tease – and not a very good one, at that.

The suction is worse – its “mouth” barely encompasses any of my clit, sitting on just the very tip of it, and it doesn’t create much of a seal or generate much sensation at all. Both the sucking and licking functions have 7 intensity settings, and there’s little difference, sensation-wise, between the lowest one and the highest. Have I mentioned that this toy is weak?!

Image via Acmejoy

I have some other issues with this toy, but they’re smaller quibbles that would’ve been forgivable if not for the toy’s bigger flaws. Namely:

After you reach the 7th intensity setting, if you hit the toy’s one button again in hopes of amping up the sensations further, the toy just shuts off. NO TOY SHOULD EVER DO THIS. This is a recipe for ruined orgasms.

Because the toy is spherical, it rolls around a lot and frequently falls off my nightstand. It does come with a small plastic stand, shaped like octopus tentacles, which you can sit it on top of to circumvent this problem, but I’m just not gonna keep something like that on my nightstand all the time, so it’s often not there when I need it. The shape of the toy is also awkward to hold onto – my achy and uncoordinated hands often find it hard to press its one button – and due to its roundness and smoothness, it doesn’t stay securely in place if I try to hold it between my thighs for hands-free use.

When you plug the toy in to charge, there’s no indication that it is indeed charging. Nothing lights up or buzzes or anything. You just have to guess, and hope, and pray.

Image via Acmejoy

I don’t like writing negative reviews, but the Acmejoy Lolita just isn’t a good toy. They’re charging $45.99 for something that doesn’t even feel as good as my fingers alone. Feel free to peruse Acmejoy’s clitoral vibes section – I know for a fact that it contains some options that are way better than the Lolita, including at least one that can actually get me off. But this one ain’t it.

I think we do sex toy consumers a disservice when we say that a weak toy is the same thing as a beginner-friendly toy. I think beginners deserve better than to be condescended to, underserved, and scared off toys altogether by bad ones that didn’t need to be made. I think that if calling your toy “good for beginners” is the only way you can make it make sense, you should probably just go back to the drawing board and make a better toy. Beginners’ tastes aren’t homogeneous, and they won’t be beginners forever. Regardless of your experience level, some toys are just bad. And this, I’m sorry to say, is one of them.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator

Kate Sloan

Is it just me, or is clitoral suction becoming a more and more popular theme in the worlds of both porn and sex toys lately? I feel like I’ve seen more and more discourse about it, on Reddit, in PornHub comment sections, in sex toy reviews, and so on.

I, for one, welcome this new wave of pro-suction sentiment, because it’s long been assumed (at least by toymakers and by many of the cis-het dudes I’ve hooked up with) that the oral technique preferred by most clits is some form of distanced tongue-flicking, the likes of which you might see in mainstream lesbian porn from the mid-oughts, and that’s just never done much for me. Get your whole face in there or don’t bother.

All this to say, I’m always intrigued by toys like the Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator, toys which make use of clitoral suction in interesting ways. Let’s get into it…

 

What is the Acmejoy Excellent Clitoral Sucking & Licking Stimulator?

This toy has two functions. One of them, as mentioned, is suction – and I mean literal suction, not the pressure-wave stimulation found in toys by Womanizer, Satisfyer, etc. that can sometimes feel a bit like suction. No, this thing actually encases your clit in a little bell-shaped “mouth” and then sucks air out of the chamber created between your skin and the mouth, similarly to what a clit pump does, only not as intensely.

The other function this toy has is “licking.” There’s a little silicone tongue inside its mouth, which moves up and down rapidly to replicate a tongue-flicking feeling. There are 10 licking modes (3 steady speeds + 7 patterns) and 5 sucking modes (I’ll get into those in more detail below). The two functions can be used on their own or separately.

As with any toy that attempts to feel like oral, you’re gonna want to use a lot of (water-based) lube with this one, or it just won’t feel how it’s meant to feel.

 

Things I like about this toy

  • Well, the main thing to know is that it can actually make me come, a rare quality amongst toys that aim to simulate cunnilingus. I mean, heck, actual cunnilingus can’t consistently get me off, because my clit is a spoiled princess with very particular needs, so I don’t usually expect mechanical simulacrums of the act to be able to get me off either. The suction function’s first mode, which is the only one I enjoy (more on that in the “don’t like” section), feels remarkably similar to when my partner sucks on my clit – it’s a mode in which the suction is briefly increased, then released, at a rhythmic tempo of about 84 beats per minute. This is definitely the main thing that got me off, as the licking function is just okay, not great (for my particular body, anyway), while the suction not only boosts my arousal by pulling more blood into my clit, but also physically strokes it, as the toy’s “mouth” narrows and widens slightly around my clit with every suck. I found that I could get off after just a few minutes of using this toy, provided I found the right angle/placement and paired it with cunnilingus-based fantasies or porn. Yay, orgasms!
  • Each of the toy’s two functions can be controlled separately, which is great because sometimes I want to turn up the intensity of the licking while leaving the suction on the same mode, or vice-versa.
  • The “licking” is cool – the tongue actually physically moves up and down, rather than just vibrating, so it can create a somewhat authentic licking sensation when well-lubed, although it’s way faster than most humans would be able to lick.
  • The variety of licking patterns available is surprisingly good – there are steady rhythms at various paces, and some modes that ramp up gradually in speed. A lot of these modes feel akin to what an actual human might do with their tongue, albeit much more standardized/robotic.
  • The toy is well-shaped and sized – it feels relatively ergonomic to hold and to operate, feels neither too heavy nor insubstantially light, and can easily be held between my thighs if I want to use it hands-free.
  • I love that they chose to go with a large, wide mouth, unlike some pressure-wave toys which have tiny little nozzles that can only fit the tip of a small-to-medium-sized clit. This toy will fit a much wider array of clit sizes than those toys will; I even think it would fit many transmasculine folks’ testosterone-expanded anatomy. Inclusivity is a good thing!
  • At only $34.99, I think this toy is reasonably priced for the quality of its construction and design. It’s one of the least expensive cunnilingus simulators I might actually recommend to a reader or friend.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • My biggest issue with this toy is that there is only one suction setting that is steadily rhythmic, the way I tend to want my clit sucked. The second mode is just steady, unbroken suction – good for if you are trying to get yourself turned on, or just want to focus on the licking without being distracted by rhythmic suction. The other suction modes are either sporadic/erratic or just way too slow for me to even dream of getting off with. It was frustrating to wish, at levels of high arousal, that there was a faster or firmer rhythmic suction setting to help get me over the edge more easily and more pleasurably.
  • The “tongue” is not positioned where I want it to be positioned. It’s located low in the mouth of the toy, which I guess makes sense because human tongues are located on the bottom of the mouth. But this means that it ends up flicking upward onto the exposed tip of my clit, which is way too sensitive for that kind of treatment, rather than downward onto my clitoral hood, the way I prefer to be stimulated. The tongue is also pretty short, and not angled toward where my clit tends to sit when the mouth is positioned where the suction feels best for me, so there were a lot of times during testing when the tongue wasn’t making contact with my clit at all.
  • When the tongue does make contact with my clit, I find that it slows down significantly when any pressure is applied, sometimes to the point that it feels like it’s stopped completely.
  • There’s an “exhaust” hole on the back of the toy, where the air that’s been sucked out of the mouth is expelled. I asked my Twitter followers if anyone had the physics expertise to comment on this, and they don’t think covering this hole is dangerous to the user – it just seems to weaken the suction and stress out the motor, if anything. But I do find it annoying that the hole is positioned in a place where you could easily accidentally cover it with your fingers while holding the toy.
  • There’s no quick-release button for the suction, which is a safety issue. If I turn the toy off at a moment when the suction is at its height, it just… stays that way… which some people might enjoy in some situations, but which becomes a problem if, say, your toy dies mid-use and you have to figure out how to get it off of you. (Lube could help, but I still think all suction toys should have a manual quick-release button.)
  • Having to cycle through all of a function’s 5-10 modes using only one button is as annoying as it always is, i.e. very.
  • The toy is only IPX5 waterproof, meaning that you can wash it briefly in the sink but can’t take it in the bath. I like bathtub masturbation so this always disappoints me.

 

Final thoughts

When testing this toy, I made the note, “If this was a nicer version of itself, I would use it a lot.” I know that sounds silly – isn’t that true of most toys?! – but what I mean is, this toy gives me a glimpse of what it could feel like if it was designed and engineered better, and I deeply wish that that version of the toy existed, because as-is, it feels just good enough to get me off.

I found that there were simply too many annoyances and issues for me to really feel relaxed while using it, plus I kept wanting to be able to increase the speed or intensity of the suction and then remembering there is only one steadily rhythmic suction mode. It’s like having a partner who’s incredibly good at cunnilingus… except that they can only do it at one moderate speed/intensity and never escalate their efforts as you get closer to coming. Like, yeah, I can get off that way, eventually, but it’s not gonna happen as easily or feel as good.

I would be more than willing to pay upwards of $80 for a toy that did what this toy does, but had more suction modes, a better-placed tongue, a motor that can stand up to pressure, and an exhaust hole that won’t constantly get in my way. Since this toy only costs $35, I’d say that if my description of it intrigued you, and you’re on the more sensitive side of the spectrum, it’d be worth a shot. But it’s just not quite what I wanted it to be… although maybe that’s because I really just wanted it to feel like my partner’s mouth, and I think the technology has still got a long ways to go before that’ll be possible.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Bestvibe Smart Little Sweet Tongue

Kate Sloan

Probably the thing I miss most about my spouse when they’re in New York and I’m in Toronto – apart from their sparkling wit, radiant kindness, comforting cuddles, and gorgeous face – is the way they go down on me. They certainly rank among the most skilled cunnilinguists in my sexual history, and as you may know, people with that skillset often seem to be few and far between.

So I do quite a bit of fantasizin’ about oral sex when I’m jerking off, which means I extra-appreciate toys that focus on clitoral stimulation in a way meant to evoke the human mouth. Obviously, then, my curiosity was piqued when I saw the Smart Little Sweet Tongue vibrator on Bestvibe’s website. Let’s talk about it.

 

What is the Bestvibe Smart Little Sweet Tongue?

Okay, as per usual for Bestvibe, this toy has a different name in its instruction manual than it does on the company website. The website has it listed as “Bestvibe Pink Tongue Teasing with G Spot Vibrator” [sic] and I am just not going to call it that. Elsewhere I’ve seen it called the Smart Little Sweet Tongue or simply the Sweet Tongue, which is at least a bit more memorable, if not more arousing.

The Sweet Tongue is, in fact, a tongue. It has a textured silicone body made to resemble a human tongue as closely as possible, and there’s a rose gold ABS plastic endcap on the handle side that makes it clear it’s a sex toy and not just a gag gift from the Halloween store.

It has three functions: licking, vibrating, and heating. It is rechargeable and water-resistant (I’ll get into what exactly that means below). On the Bestvibe.co.uk website (which is the one that sent me this product to review), the Sweet Tongue is listed at a regular price of £39.99 (about $47 USD or $65 CAD) and is currently on sale for £23.99 (about $28 USD or $39 CAD).

 

Things I like about this toy

  • As far as oral sex simulators go, this one is actually decent. A common problem with these tongue-like toys is that they usually either go way too slow, boring my clit into oblivion, or way too fast, battering my clit into numbness. But this toy is different. The tip of the tongue, as well as about one-third of the rest of the tongue, wiggles up and down in a way that is actually quite like a human tongue when someone finds exactly the right spot and keeps lapping away at it. When properly lubed, it feels really good (especially since I can reposition it as needed, as described below). The fact that the tongue’s tip is made of squishy, bendy silicone helps a lot with the realism of the sensation, as does the tastebud-esque texture on the toy. Like real licking, the sensation may not impress you much if you’re not all that sensitive and/or if you use powerful vibrators on the regs (which isn’t a judgment, by the way – I’m not always as sensitive as I’d like to be, and I’m also, obviously, a frequent vibrator user). But, on that note, if you’re accustomed to vibrators but want to learn to get off in a way that a human being could replicate sans technology, using a toy like this might be a good middle ground.
  • Even with my hand pain and muscle strength limitations, I find it easy to position and reposition this toy as needed to get it where I want it. As with real oral sex, I don’t tend to like being licked in the same exact spot for the entire duration of a session; my clitoral hood, the sides of my clit, and the tip of it are all differently-sensitive spots with different needs and preferences, depending on where I’m at in my arousal cycle. I love how easy it is to put this vibe right where it feels the best and then move on to another area when I want that.
  • The heating function is cool (uh, pun not intended, but we’re gonna run with it). It makes sense that a toy meant to emulate the human mouth, notably a warm place, would have this feature. The heating is unfortunately focused more toward the center of the toy, rather than at the tip of the tongue where you’d generally be able to feel it more, but it partially translates to the tip and can help with arousal, realism, and comfort.
  • For the most part, the licking function barely slows down when I press the toy more firmly against my body. This allows me to adjust the amount of pressure it’s exerting at any given moment, and widens the variety of sensations that this toy can produce.
  • The price of the toy is affordable; as I mentioned, it’s currently £23.99 (about $28 USD or $39 CAD), which is not a ridiculous amount of money to access an interesting sensation that may be new to you.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • Look, I’m just gonna say it: disembodied tongues aren’t very arousing for me, it turns out. I can’t look at this one for too long or I start thinking about the last true-crime miniseries I watched, y’know? Also the fact that there are VEINS on the tongue’s underside seems… excessive. I’m sure some people would enjoy the texture of them, but I’m not sure that’s worth the horror of seeing them. (Thankfully though, they’ll generally be facing away from you during use.)
  • As with most oral-adjacent toys, this one requires a lot of (water-based) lube to feel its best. This is not an issue for me since I’m perpetually swimming in bottles of lube (seriously, there are over a dozen by my bed right now) but it’s worth considering, especially if your lube budget is limited.
  • Why oh why do so many sex toy companies try to cram multiple functions and settings into one or two buttons?! It’s very annoying. This toy has two buttons, one with a tongue on it and one with a vibrations symbol on it. You hold down the vibrations button for a few seconds to turn the toy on, at which point it’s in standby mode. From there, you cycle through licking modes and vibration modes by pressing each of their buttons, respectively, and you activate the heating mode by quickly double-pressing the tongue button. You can turn off either function by long-pressing its button. This all feels needlessly complicated and the distraction of dealing with controls can sometimes sour any arousal I’ve managed to build.
  • There are only three modes of steady licking and three steady vibration modes, after which both functions have a bunch of patterns (which, of course, you have to cycle through if you want to get back to the steady modes). Three speeds is just not enough. I am always left wishing there were a few more.
  • On that note, the amount of power this toy has – both licking-wise and vibration-wise – leaves something to be desired. It truly works well as a warm-up toy for building arousal, but the stimulation is just not enough to get me off, even with the vibration and licking both turned up to their max speeds.
  • You have to keep a decently firm grip on the toy’s handle while using the licking function; otherwise, due to how physics work, the handle will start moving up and down in your hand when it should be the tongue tip that’s moving. I mostly managed fine by bracing my arm against my thigh, but if you have profound hand strength issues, you might find this toy difficult to use. Possibly you could anchor it in place (say, between your body and the bed, or between two firm objects) and use it hands-free that way.
  • The vibrations are very “meh.” They’re buzzy and not very strong. Certainly they might be enough to push you over the edge if the licking function has gotten you close and you just need a little extra stimulation, but for me, they weren’t enough to get me off even in combination with the licking.
  • It’s loud. Both the vibration and the licking make a pretty loud mechanical noise that can be distracting. I enjoyed watching cunnilingus porn while using this toy but often found it hard to hear the porn over the toy’s repetitive robotic whine.
  • It’s IPX5 water-resistant. This means, according to the IPX Waterproof Rating Guide, that it is “protected against [a] low-pressure water stream from any angle” but should not be submerged in water. This is probably fine for most people’s purposes – it won’t be an issue to use it in the shower or to wash it in the sink – but is worth noting if you were hoping to use this toy in the bath or similar.
  • The silicone is particularly prone to picking up lint, hairs, etc. which is kind of unappetizing to see on a tongue.
  • Bestvibe’s website says that this toy is also a G-spot vibrator and I would beg to differ. Like, yeah, you can shove it inside yourself and try to get it to lick or vibrate your G-spot, but it doesn’t have the firmness, girth, or deep curve that would generally make that pleasurable.

Final thoughts

While I have a lot of issues with the Bestvibe Sweet Tongue, I actually think it’s pretty damn good for its price point, if you view it as purely a mechanical tongue. The vibrations are bad-to-middling and so I wouldn’t factor them into your decision to buy this toy or not; it all comes down to the licking. Do you want a soft silicone tongue to flick against your clit (or another body part of your choosing) in a manner that is steady, gentle or firm (depending on how much pressure you apply), and rhythmically consistent? Then you should give this toy a shot, and throw some water-based lube into your cart while you’re at it, ’cause you’re gonna need a lot.

But since this toy wasn’t powerful enough to get me off, I doubt I’ll return to it unless I really want to tease and arouse myself with the sensation of a tongue that’s almost-but-not-quite enough for me.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Lovegasm Multispeed Tongue Vibrator

Kate Sloan

I keep reviewing different cunnilingus simulators – can’t stop, won’t stop, baby! – because I’m always looking for that holy grail: an oral-inspired toy that actually feels like oral.

It’s hard to find, partly because the textures of a tongue and lips are difficult to replicate, partly because mouths are self-lubricating and toys are not, and partly because the motions involved in good head are deceptively complex, compared to what a toy can do. Licking, sucking, adapting to fluctuating levels of arousal and sensitivity – many toys can do one of these things effectively, but I’ve yet to come across (or come on) a toy that really nails the varied sensations of good cunnilingus.

But the Lovegasm Multispeed Tongue Vibrator looked like it might be a viable contender, so I was excited to test it out. Let’s discuss.

 

Pictured with thighs & tattoo, for scale

What is the Lovegasm Multispeed Tongue Vibrator and what does it do?

Sent to me by the folks at Lovegasm, the Multispeed Tongue Vibrator is large – just over 12 inches from end to end. The reason the toy needs to be so big is that its makers have crammed several different functions into one toy, to make what is essentially a genital-safe Swiss army knife. (It’s, um, not sharp, though. And doesn’t have a bottle opener on it, as far as I know. Maybe this was an unwise metaphor to choose…)

At one end of the toy is a “mouth,” consisting of a silicone tongue that moves up and down, inside of what is colloquially known as a “pussy pump,” i.e. a plastic cone that generates suction on the clit and labia. The tongue has a pre-warming function as well, to lend it more realism. In theory this reproduces the sensations that a tongue and lips working in tandem can provide.

On the other side of the toy is essentially a rabbit vibe: a dual-stimulation toy with a penetrative part and an external clitoral part, both of which vibrate. It feels incorrect to call this toy a two-for-one, because really it’s more like a four-for-one!

 

dat tongue tho

Things I like about this toy

  • I think it’s a really cool idea, considering that a lot of people like to receive oral sex as “foreplay” for penetrative sex, and this toy can provide both. In my testing sessions I was always glad to have a penetrative object at the ready, on the other side of the toy, once I got worked up enough from the “mouth” to want something inside me.
  • The combo of suction and tongue-flicking felt really good, once I had lubed the entire area and found an optimal position for the toy. The suction is rhythmic, rather than being steady, which creates an effect that feels more like an actual human sucking on my clit, while the tongue gently flicks against the tip or underside of my clit (depending on how it’s positioned). There was one testing session when I had planned to test several other toys after this one and actually started to bargain with myself about why I didn’t need to test any other toys and could instead get off from this one, because it felt that good 😂
  • As with many well-designed suction toys, this one is quite effective at encouraging bloodflow to my clit/vulva, prompting physical arousal which can easily translate into mental arousal too. I could see this being a good “foreplay” toy to generate arousal toward the start of a masturbation/sex session.
  • A lot of clit-focused toys end up feeling too intense for me because they target the head of my clit, rather than where I prefer to be stimulated (the clitoral hood area, for a more indirect sensation), but I had success moving this one around to find a position that worked for me. This was also great because I was able to move it further toward the tip of my clit as I got more turned on (but had to momentarily disengage the suction function in order to do this, because otherwise it would have been suctioned onto me and thus hard to move).
  • The internal part of the rabbit-vibe end of the toy is long enough to hit my A-spot and has a nice curve that lets it arc right up into that spot. It feels pleasurable when thrusted against that spot.
  • While the buttons’ placement and lack of labeling are confusing (more on that below), each button lights up with a different color when its function is enabled, which makes it easier to (eventually) tell them apart and remember which button does what.
  • The pump part of the toy can be removed for easier cleaning between uses.
  • The toy comes with another pump cylinder that you can swap in; it has a flat rim, as opposed to the vaguely vulva-shaped rim of the original cylinder, and is meant to be used on breasts/nipples, which is cool. This toy’s commitment to having multiple different uses is unparalleled.

 

Things I don’t like about this toy

  • Ultimately I just didn’t find any part of this toy stimulating enough to get me off (though the mouth felt, at times, like it could get me off, on a highly sensitive day). The pump’s suction didn’t have a consistent enough rhythm, the tongue didn’t deliver strong enough stimulation, and the vibrations in the rabbit-vibe part of the toy are so hilariously weak, buzzy, and buried that they’re almost imperceptible on lower settings and just kinda “meh” on higher settings.
  • The buttons are not marked/labeled in any way. With some vibes this would be acceptable, but this one has several different functions and four different buttons, none of which are placed in a particularly intuitive way. I had to keep referring to the instruction manual to figure out which was which (so don’t toss your manual!) and ended up hitting the wrong buttons several times anyway.
  • When I’m using the “mouth” side of the toy, the buttons are facing away from me, unless I flip it around and hold it in a way that feels awkward and un-ergonomic. Since (as discussed above) the buttons are hard to tell apart even when I’m looking at them, this makes it almost impossible to change settings during use – something I do a lot of, since “close-to-orgasm” me has very different preferences and needs, stimulation-wise, than “barely-aroused” me.
  • The amount of suction produced by the higher settings of the sucking function is sometimes kinda scary. I don’t have the medical background to know whether it’s actually dangerous, but it’s a lot, and there’s no quick-release mechanism. Suction toys should always have a non-electronic quick-release button in case of malfunctions or emergencies, etc.
  • I prefer clit-focused suction rather than full-vulva suction. That’s just a personal preference. The pump on this toy is sliiiightly too big for me to position between my outer labia to allow for a more clit-centric sensation.
  • The tongue actually slows down when you press the button that ought to make it speed up. I found this infuriating when I was on the precipice of potentially coming.
  • The clitoral arm on the rabbit-vibe end of the toy is too short for my anatomy. When I get that arm into a pleasurable position on my clit, it throws off the angle of the internal portion so that that’s no longer pleasurable, and vice-versa. This could be solved with a longer and more flexible clitoral arm.
  • The mouth part of the toy is loud and distracting. The suction function sounds like a robotic truck backing up and the tongue function sounds like a shopping cart that needs its wheels oiled. The rabbit vibe portion of the toy is very quiet, though.
  • As with most toys involving suction and/or a tongue-like object, this one requires a lot of lube to feel good – not just on my clit but on my entire vulva. Could be an issue if you’re on a budget and/or just have limited access to lube.
  • The tongue’s heating function takes 3 minutes to work, during which time you can’t use any of the toy’s other functions. This is fine if you have the time and patience to let the toy sit there for 3 minutes while you do other stuff (like perhaps watch porn, read erotica, or touch yourself with your hand), but otherwise kind of annoying. It also barely works; the tongue just gets mildly warm, not even as warm as it would get from a few minutes of being pressed against my genitals.

Final thoughts

I really wanted to like the Lovegasm Multispeed Tongue Vibrator, because I think its concept is interesting and I haven’t seen many toy companies attempt to combine suction with tongue-like flicking in one toy, for a more holistic oral-like experience.

However, in execution, this toy could really use some work. When it comes to sex toy design, usually it’s best to focus on doing one or two things really well – and instead, this toy tried to do 4-5 things well and ultimately all of them are kind of mediocre. Not to mention, the ergonomics and controls of this toy are somewhat inscrutable and highly distracting during use.

Lovegasm carries lots of other vibrators and suction-based vulva toys that are worth checking out, especially if you’re in search of an oral sex simulator, as many of them have tongue-like features and/or combine suction with vibration. But this one just didn’t work for me, although at several points during testing, I felt hopeful that it might.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this toy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Lora DiCarlo Baci

Kate Sloan

My relationship to receiving cunnilingus has undergone a lot of changes over the years. There was a time, in my late teens and early twenties, when getting head was literally the majority of my sex life, because my partners then were people who preferred licking pussy over pretty much every other activity – and had therefore gotten quite good at it.

Later, as I started hooking up with randoms from Tinder and OkCupid, I gradually stopped asking for oral because it… stopped being good. But now that I’m back to being partnered with a self-professed pussy-eating fanatic, it’s back to being one of my favorite sexual activities, and something that I often fantasize about when I’m alone.

Accordingly, I’m as intrigued as I’ve ever been by the plethora of sex toys that claim to imitate cunnilingus. One in particular has gotten a lot of great reviews: the Lora DiCarlo Baci. (Apparently pronounced like “botchy.”) Let’s talk about it.

 

What is the Lora DiCarlo Baci?

Lora DiCarlo – both the company itself and the woman of the same name who founded it – is somewhat controversial and mysterious. While their products are beautifully designed and get good reviews, they’ve made a lot of sweeping claims that were called into question by an infamous Wired.com article, like that their founder is a med school dropout and that they use “micro-robotics” in their toys. However, in the sex toy industry, it’s hard to fault a company for talking itself up a little; they all do it. At least this one seems to be making genuinely original toys rather than basing their entire business model on plagiarism like some other sex toy companies do.

While Lora DiCarlo makes toys aimed at various different erogenous zones, the Baci is one that focuses specifically on clitoral pleasure. It does this in an interesting and unique way: although it uses similar “pressure-wave” technology to what’s found in Satisfyers and Womanizers, it also has what the company calls a “thrum pad” which is meant to sit between the inner labia during use, vibrating against the underside of the clitoral shaft and other, more deeply-buried portions of the internal clit. The company calls this “full-coverage clitoral stimulation,” a phrase certain to get my attention.

What I like about this toy:

  • Let’s not bury the lede: this thing feels good. Really good. A lot of pressure-wave toys are so focused on the glans of my clit that they feel almost inconsequential, like someone teasingly licking the tip of your dick when you really want a deepthroat blowjob. The Baci stimulates my glans with its “mouth,” rubs against my clitoral hood and inner labia with its “lips,” and rumbles against broad swathes of my internal clit with its sizeable “thrum pad.” The result is full-clit stimulation that normally I can only get from a huge, rumbly wand vibrator or my partner using their entire mouth on me. (I should say, water-based lube is a must with the Baci, particularly if you want it to feel like oral at all.)
  • As you’d expect from that description, the orgasms from this toy are more satisfying than those from many other toys in this category. This just makes sense: in general, the more of your sex organ that’s being stimulated before and during your orgasm, the more intense and long-lasting that orgasm is likely to feel. I reach climax easily, consistently and hard with this toy.
  • The Baci has 10 intensity settings (and no patterns, which I don’t care about anyway). I’ve never gone past 4 out of 10. I’ve never needed to. This toy is that good. If you’ve been curious about pressure-wave toys but are worried they’d be too subtle for you (which is a reasonable fear if, for example, you tend to masturbate with a powerful wand vibrator), I think the Baci could actually work for you. It’s not just that its motor is stronger than many of its competitors’; it’s that it uses its strength in a different way, stimulating more of the clitoral structure.
  • The controls are easy to understand: there’s a power button on the top that you press and hold to turn the toy on or off, and then there are “+” and “–” buttons on the back for changing the speed. All of these buttons are located and constructed such that I never bump them by accident.
  • It’s waterproof. Love.
  • The construction feels pretty sturdy, like it could get knocked around inside my suitcase or purse and be fine.
  • It comes with a travel cover, so you can keep it free from lint, dirt, etc. when it’s riding around in your bag or even when it’s just been tossed into your nightstand drawer.

What I don’t like about this toy:

  • The form factor of this toy is awkward, to say the least. It’s what my friend Epiphora would call a “vulva hog,” meaning it takes up so much space on my vulva during use that I can’t easily add a dildo, fingers, or a partner’s penis into the mix if I want some internal stimulation. If you’re looking to use a pressure-wave toy during penetrative sex, I’d recommend the We-Vibe Melt or Womanizer Premium instead. A stationary vag toy like the Hole Punch Fluke can work with the Baci, though. And frankly, when my clit’s being stimulated as fully and as well as the Baci can do it, I don’t always need extra stimulation to get me off. (P.S. There is something very funny to me about referring to penetration as “extra stimulation,” given how often that phrase is used about clit contact, which is, for me and most other people with vulvas, mandatory for reaching orgasm…)
  • As often happens with pressure-wave toys, sometimes the Baci makes me come faster than I wanted to, in that way that’s like “Oh shit, am I about to…? Oh no, yes, I am.” Seems weird to complain about this, I know, but sometimes I want to stretch out a session a little longer!
  • It’s a little loud. But like, so am I when I’m using it.
  • I don’t love the aesthetic of it. It’s almost my exact skin tone and kind of reminds me of a medical device, like something a doctor might use to take my cunt’s temperature. (Then again, a clinical aesthetic can be well-suited for medical play scenes, so your mileage may vary…)
  • The battery life isn’t amazing; I have to charge the Baci every 4-5 sessions or so, which is more often than I’d typically expect for a toy of this kind.
  • It’s expensive: about $205-220 in Canada (depending on where you get it from). HOWEVER, CurrentBody has it on sale for $145 USD at the time that I’m writing this, and that’s reduced even further to $116 USD (about $151 CAD) when you use my coupon code “GIRLY20” on your order. That’s a pretty sweet deal.
  • The plastic travel cover that it comes with is weirdly hard to open. You have to squeeze it and then rotate it, like the childproof cap on a bottle of pills. As someone with chronic pain and strength issues in my hands, I found this frustrating; it took me 5-10 minutes of struggling and pain in order to get it open the first time, so I haven’t attempted to close it again.

 

Final thoughts

The Lora DiCarlo Baci has impressed me so thoroughly that I’d put it in my top 3 favorite pressure-wave toys now. (The others, if you’re wondering, are the Lelo Sila and Satisfyer Curvy 2.) This type of toy is always so hit-or-miss for me, with some of them giving me weak, half-ruined orgasms and some of them making me come so hard and fast that I practically black out; the Baci is definitely in the latter category.

I can’t confirm for certain whether all the claims made by Lora DiCarlo about their toys and technologies are accurate. But what I can tell you is that the Baci is a top-of-the-line clitoral stimulator that I hope will usher in a new trend of companies pushing the boundaries of what a clit toy can be.

 

Thanks to CurrentBody for sending me this product to review! You can use the code “GIRLY20” to get 20% off your order at CurrentBody – yay!

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.