iphone

My Phone Sex Setup

Kate Sloan

I talk a lot about phone sex on here, but I’ve said almost nothing about the actual logistical tools I use for this particular lascivious act.

And that stuff’s important! The wrong phone sex setup can make you feel farther from your partner when you want to feel closer. You don’t want to be stuck fiddling with Bluetooth settings and charger cables when you could be focusing on your paramour’s pretty moans.

My partner and I have had phone sex almost every night for over a year (YEESH) so I have ample experience and opinions in this arena! Here are some of my phone-sex must-haves…

The phone itself

My current phone is an iPhone XS; it was a Christmas present to myself, because my old 6S was barely functional after being thrashed for 3 years. I love the XS! It’s sleek and sexy, and it sounds great.

My only real beef with this phone is Apple’s decision to remove the headphone jack and force you to use the Lightning port at the bottom for both headphones and chargers – which could be impractical for phone-sex purposes, but I’ve found workarounds, which I’ll explain below…

On occasion, I’ve used other WiFi-enabled devices, like my iPad, to talk to my partner. It’s good to know I have a backup incase my phone ever needs to be repaired or something.

Phone accessories

Call me a basic bitch if you must, but my #1 must-have iPhone accessory for phone sex is just a pair of those basic white earbuds that come with the phone. They have a little remote on one side which lets you control the volume level and even answer calls with one click, and there’s also a little microphone on that remote. Occasionally I’ll switch to my big noise-canceling headphones if I want to hear additional depth and richness in my partner’s voice – like if we’re doing a hypno scene – but for the most part, those standard Apple earbuds work just fine. (I have to use a Lightning-to-headphone-jack adapter when I mix up my choice of headphones, unfortunately. What are you doing, Apple.)

Speaking of that fucking Lightning port… I got tired of having to choose between wearing my headphones and plugging my phone in, so I bought a wireless charging pad for my nightstand. Initially this seemed like a frivolous expenditure, but I use it ALL THE TIME and it comes in handy when my phone battery dwindles while my partner is whispering sweet hot things at me.

On that note, regardless of what type of phone you have, I would recommend getting a super-long charging cable for it (AmazonBasics makes the ones I like). Trust me, you might not think you need a 10-foot-long charging cable right now, but the extra mobility and convenience are worth the $10-20 you’ll spend on it.

Software

My partner and I use FaceTime audio for the vast majority of our aural communiqué. It sounds way better than a normal phone call, and you can hear things like breathing and soft moans more clearly, which, as you might imagine, matters. We’ll also occasionally use FaceTime video if we’re in the mood to see each other (or, y’know, each other’s junk). If I’m having WiFi troubles and FaceTime starts turning me into a low-res robot, we’ll switch to a regular phone call – but it’s definitely not preferred.

When we want to watch something together, we use Rabb.it – which I mention here only because sometimes we indulge in some porn as foreplay of sorts. This app has its problems (it always seems to take us a good few minutes to figure out how to join the same room, because the interface is unnecessarily complicated), but I haven’t really found anything else that does what it does.

Very occasionally, my partner instructs me to look at something – like, say, a spiral or some looping wink videos during a hypno scene – in which case I usually open it up in QuickTime or Preview on my MacBook.

Miscellaneous equipment

Speaking of watching spirals/gifs/porn while talking on the phone – if I want to do that in bed, rather than at my desk, I’ll pull out my lap desk from IKEA (this one is similar) and prop up the computer on that. You don’t want to worry about your laptop overheating while you’re trying to, um, get overheated yourself!

Clothing-wise: this might seem silly, but I love my MeUndies lounge pants for the early stages of phone sex, when we’re mostly just flirting and saying mildly suggestive things. (Clothes start to come off after that point, although sometimes I wish they wouldn’t!) I love these for simple reasons: they are comfy as hell, they’re loose and stretchy enough that I can get a hand or even a vibe inside them without needing to take them off, the fabric is thin enough that I can easily use a vibe through it if I want to, and – best of all – they have FOUR pockets, each of which is big enough to fit my phone. So if I have to get up during phone sex – say, to wash a sex toy or go get a snack – I can just tuck my phone in there while my headphones remain on. Perf.

As with any kind of sex, it’s good to have lube somewhere nearby and easily accessible. I keep a bevy of options on my nightstand. It goes without saying, surely, that my favorite sex toys are also always close at hand, and my Eroscillator is always plugged in.

Finally, I try to always have snacks and water available if I’m gonna have phone sex. You’re saying a lot of words and making a lot of sounds; you should keep your voice lubricated! The snacks come in handy for aftercare; sex across vast geographical expanses obviously doesn’t allow for cuddly, body-based aftercare, so we double up on the verbal kind (compliments, jokes, contented sighs) and yummy treats to bring our bodies and brains back to normal.

What are your must-have tools and supplies when you have phone sex?

2 Health Apps That Legitimately Make Life Lovelier

Kate Sloan

I am a Problem Sleeper. I frequently have trouble falling asleep until hours after I should, and then inevitably I sleep way past the time I’m supposed to get up. It’s a quality of mine that’s annoyed parents, teachers, and sleepover hosts, but mostly, it annoys me.

I’ve sought all sorts of help for it – most notably, getting a special lamp for sufferers of Seasonal Affective Disorder (which I also have) and using it for 10 to 15 minutes in the morning when I need some bright light to smack me awake. (It really does help!)

However, there’s another technological marvel that’s been helping with my sleep issues lately, and it – like most of my life – relies on my phone. Oh, iPhone, what would I do without you?!

The wonder of wonders I’m speaking of is the Sleep Cycle app. This post isn’t sponsored in any way; as any IRL friend of mine will tell you, I rave about this app because I really do love it.

Here’s the dealio: at night, when you plug in your phone to charge, you set the alarm in Sleep Cycle and then put the phone face-down on the bed. (I usually put mine above my head and slightly to the left of where I sleep, so I won’t knock it onto the floor if I toss and turn.) The app uses your phone’s built-in motion sensor to track your movements through the night, and – using some kind of high-tech magic I don’t understand – tracks where you are in your sleep cycle at any given time.

It then uses this information to wake you up only at the lightest point of your cycle, so that you’ll feel alert and rested when you wake, instead of groggy and disoriented. Whatever time you set on your alarm, the app will wake you up at your lightest moment of sleep in the half-hour before that time – so you’ll be extra-awake but still on time for whatever you’ve got scheduled that morning.

The wake-up sounds are gentle and gradual, so you never feel blasted awake. You can also set some soothing sounds to play while you fall asleep; I like to listen to rain. Or sometimes I open up the Spotify app and play the Jazz For Sleep playlist. Ah, bliss!

Sleep Cycle also appeals to my inner geek by collecting and displaying statistics (fuck yes!) on how long you sleep and how well you sleep. You can see all the hills and valleys of your restfulness through the night, and the app even keeps track of how many steps you took each day so you can check if there’s any correlation between physical activity and sound sleep. There’s also a place to keep notes, if, say, you want to keep track of how a certain medication, caffeine drink, or exercise regime is affecting your sleep.

This app has genuinely revolutionized my life in that I almost never feel groggy when I get up anymore, even if I went to bed later than I should’ve. Sure, I’ll get sleepy later in the day if I didn’t get enough Z’s, but it’s no longer a struggle to get going in the morning. And that is a damn blessing.

The same company also makes an app called Power Nap which uses the same basic mechanic but is made for naps rather than night-long sleeps. You have the option of three different nap lengths, depending on how much time you have or how deeply you want to nap. You tuck the phone in your pocket (or, if you’re me, in your bra) and it tracks your movements and wakes you up gently when you’re sleeping lightly. This app has saved my ass so many times when I needed a mid-day power-up but didn’t want to risk the grogginess that happens when you nap for too long.

While not strictly related to sex, I think we can all agree that your level of restedness affects not only your sex life but also how you feel about yourself and your life. This blog has basically expanded to cover not only “sex” but “anything and everything that impacts sex,” and lemme tell ya: when I haven’t slept well, any sex I have (even with myself) is gonna suck. So, thank heavens for Sleep Cycle!

Do you use any health apps that rock your world? Do you have sleep struggles comme moi?