5 Sex Dolls I Wish I Owned (& What I Would Do with Them)

Thanks to SexDollGenie for all the images in this post!

Periodically, a sex doll company reaches out to me wanting to collaborate, and I’m once again forced to confront the fact that I find sex dolls fascinating.

Maybe it’s because I once wrote a piece about robotic sex dolls which posited that they have the power to shape our sexual future as a culture… or maybe it’s just because so many of them are extremely fucking hot, and I am extremely fucking bisexual.

In any case, today I’m partnering with the nice folks at Sex Doll Genie to show you 5 sex dolls I think are particularly captivating – and what I would do with each of them if I owned them.

 

Jessika is a 5-foot-tall sex doll with K-cup breasts (!!), delectable curves, and blazing red hair draped over one eye. Her designers clearly looked to Jessica Rabbit for inspiration; all she’s missing is those long purple gloves.

Since her namesake cartoon character was a showgirl, I think Jessika would be an excellent “practice bottom” for stripteases and lapdances. I’m definitely not confident enough to jump straight into putting on a sexy show for a new partner (or for any partner, really), so it would make sense to practice on somebody else – or something else – before giving it a shot. Jessika’s constant low-key smirk and quirked eyebrow read to me as devilishly dominant approval and amusement – she constantly looks like her sexual curiosity is piqued. I’d sit her in a chair and work on my moves, grinding against her lap and various other spots, until I felt ready to perform for an actual human.

She’d also be a fantastic prop for shooting Who Framed Roger Rabbit?-themed porn… though I’m not quite sure how I would figure into that! Would I have to be Roger?!

 

Doesn’t Chamae look like somebody’s badass older sister at a high school house party? She’s 5’6″ (taller than me!) and has an absolutely killer booty. If I saw her sitting on the couch sipping a beer, I think I’d have to go talk to her, even if I felt shy (which I definitely would, in the presence of someone so beautiful and cool).

Aside from kissing a Chamae doll – because she looks incredibly kissable – I think I’d most like to dress her up in hard-femme ensembles, as an avenue for my own inclinations toward goth/punk/”alt” style. I’ve always admired these aesthetics but never really felt cool enough to pull them off, so dressing up Chamae in leather, flannel and PVC would be super fun.

She also looks like she’d definitely be low-key kinky – I mean, just look at that spiked collar – so I wonder if it’d be fun to set her on one end of a sofa and then fuck someone on the other side, Chamae acting as a silent voyeur, as if the aforementioned high school house party suddenly got very sexy. (You just never know where those games of Spin the Bottle will lead…)

 

Speaking of high school… Shanaya is a 5’4″ sex doll with massive N-cup boobs, and she’s pictured wearing an outfit I can’t help but associate with cheerleaders.

I think one of the reasons cheerleaders are such a popular archetype in the land of sex and kink is that many kinky people were nerds in high school (and likely continue to be), and it feels powerful to roleplay a scenario where you finally get to rub shoulders – and other body parts – with a “cool kid.” Of course, social hierarchies in high school are elitist garbage, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun roleplaying them in adulthood.

Shanaya is so over-the-top hot that I think I’d have to involve her in a scene involving bimbofication, humiliation, or both. Maybe I’d pretend she was a bunny at the infamous Playboy mansion, stealing all the men’s attention despite how slutty I’d dressed for the occasion. Maybe I’d be the dorky girl at a high school sports game after-party, enviously watching the cheerleader get to fuck my crush. Or maybe I’d just lay my head on her N-cups and take a nap.

 

Hattie is dressed as a nurse, so obviously, upon seeing her, my mind jumped straight to medical play. A doctor treating my “hysteria” is a long-time fantasy of mine, one I’ve roleplayed numerous times with my partner, and I have to imagine the fantasy would only be furthered by the presence of a watchful, helpful nurse.

I could also imagine I was an inpatient at a clinic – perhaps for something silly like overly frequent masturbation or too much porn-watching – and that Hattie had been assigned to sit in my room and watch me for hours at a time to make sure I didn’t misbehave. It would be hot to envision her as my ever-watchful guard while I try to sneakily eke out an orgasm with my hand under the covers.

I could also, of course, just steal her entire costume and use it to roleplay as a nurse myself… What a versatile gal she is!

 

You know, I was going to write a whole Tinkerbell-themed thing about a fairy sex doll for this last one, but then I discovered Clarine, WHOSE BOOBS ARE VULVAS, and my brain exploded.

The fantasy implications of this innovation are innumerable. Remember Deep Throat, the classic porn movie where a woman has a clitoris hidden in the back of her throat that makes overzealous blowjobs orgasmically pleasurable for her? Clarine’s situation is similar, but different. She could (theoretically) glean as much pleasure from having her nipples played with as the average woman would from having her clit played with, so she’d be an ideal doll-partner for someone whose fondness for breasts verges on fetishism.

I can’t figure out from the pictures whether her breasts are actually penetrable (…yikes) but, if so, I do have to wonder what it would be like to “fuck” someone else’s boobs with your own erect nipples… Y’all, bodies are so strange and cool. Especially sex doll bodies.

 

Thanks to SexDollGenie.com for sponsoring this post! They have a truly wild selection of sex dolls to choose from; I find the “fantasy/mysterious looks” section the most compelling, if you want to take a gander. As always, all writing and opinions in this post are my own.

5 Fun Things You Can Do With a Penis Pump

Pictured: the Max Width Penis Enlarger.

I only worked in sex toy retail for a few months, but I can’t even tell you the number of people who came in searching for penis enlargement products. In fact, it was explicitly part of my training to learn which products actually work on a long-term basis (answer: almost none of them) and which are basically bullshit – although, of course, being in retail, we wouldn’t have phrased it quite like that!

Penis pumps, I have learned, are somewhere in the middle of that spectrum – they offer some temporary enlargement by way of suction encouraging bloodflow to your dick, but that’s not their main or most effectual purpose. Penis pump results are usually more about engorgement, arousal, and pleasure than they are about size – and if you use them with that expectation held firmly (heh) in your mind, I think you’ll have a much better time with them. (Just make sure to read about the risks of using them, and maybe even discuss ’em with your doctor before you do, okay?)

To get you started, here are 5 ways to play with penis pumps in your sex/kink life…

 

Size play. I know I just said these pumps do other things much better than they do enlargement… BUT… they do create a temporary and usually minor enlargement of the penis that can be really thrilling, especially if you in any way fetishize “big dicks,” “monster cocks,” “raging boners,” and so on. (I mean, in our phallus-obsessed culture, it’s hard not to have internalized some of these ideas of hotness, even if you’ve later learned to reject them for the body-shaming beliefs that underlie them.) Whether the dick being pumped up into immensity is a partner’s or your own, it may be exciting to see it become bigger, veinier, and more intimidating for a few minutes. It might even change the penis-wielder’s sense of self (and/or their partner’s sense of them) enough that they’ll feel inspired to do some kind of roleplay scene that takes advantage of their newfound cartoonish hugeness.

Press a vibrator against it. I saw someone do this in a porn clip recently and now I can’t stop thinking about it… The combination of suction and vibration can be terrifically overwhelming, and if the chap in the video I saw is anything to go by, it seems like trying to wring an orgasm out of this method would be a long, slow, teasing process, potentially resulting in a climax half-ruined by the indirectness of the stimulation. If you’re into that, hey, I’m not gonna stop you.

Chastity/denial. It’s amazing to me that I’ve read so many screeds over the years about how “blue balls” are so painful that those tormented by this sensation should be given sex out of pity (oh, boohoo, Chad, go jerk off like an adult), given that there are tons of people who enjoy and actually seek out that sensation. Not just blue balls, either, but sometimes the overall sense of intense arousal with no resolution in sight. I think it would be especially cruel to take someone out of chastity for the first time in days or weeks, shove their dick into a penis pump, use it to crank up their arousal, and then… not let them come. Back into the chastity cage you shall go! (Just as soon as your boner deflates, that is… which, let’s face it, could take a while…)

Put on a show. Most penis pumps are transparent or translucent, making them the perfect prop for an exhibitionist moment. This could be particularly useful if, due to current global circumstances, you find yourself separated from the person/people you love to fuck. I have found few long-distance sexual experiences more intimate and bonding than watching my partner try out a totally new-to-them sex toy in front of their webcam for my viewing pleasure.

Medical play. If I’m into the fantasy of a Victorian-era doctor administering clitoral stimulation by hand in order to cure me of hysteria, I have to assume there are people with penises out there who relish the thought of a sexy doctor pumping up their dick to address erectile dysfunction. As a roleplay, this could be a small penis humiliation scene if you’re into that, packed with devastating jibes about your dick’s inability to function – or it could be an ASMR-style calming experience involving focused attention and caring concern. Sounds great either way to me!

What crafty ideas come up for you when you contemplate adding a penis pump into your kinky repertoire?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Hysteria, Hands, and Victorian Vibrators

Which came first: the urban legend, or the kink?

It’s hard to say. I went to see the movie Hysteria in theatres with my then-boyfriend when it came out in 2011, and I don’t recall having any particular Kink Feelings about it. I mean, the movie contains (among other things) a flustered Hugh Dancy bringing several women to orgasm with oil-lubricated hands, and Maggie Gyllenhaal punching a police offer in the face while dressed in a devastating ballgown, so there’s a lot to love about it, kinks-wise. But I think, at the time, I was still so squarely vanilla that I mostly just giggled at the funny bits and enjoyed the celebrity eye candy.

The movie, if you don’t know, tells a fictionalized account of the vibrator’s oft-cited origin story. “Female hysteria” was an “illness” ascribed to uterus-havers for centuries, to account for everything from insomnia to irritability to (yes) sexual frustration. Though we now know that hysteria’s many symptoms were likelier the results of sociopolitical oppression, restrictive clothing, and various as-yet-undiscovered actual illnesses, back then it was blamed on a “wandering uterus” (hence the name, which stems from the Greek word for uterus, hystera). Various measures were employed to bring the uterus back to its rightful location – or, in some cases, to remove it fully (which, spoiler alert, didn’t work). One frequent prescription for hysteria was to have sexual intercourse more often – with one’s husband and only one’s husband, of course.

Award-winning technology scholar Rachel Maines theorized in her book The Technology of Orgasm that Victorian doctors may have stimulated women to orgasm with their hands to alleviate hysteria symptoms. She argues this practice may even have spurred the invention of the vibrator, because manual stimulation of the vulva is tiring and physicians would want a more efficient method of producing “hysterical paroxysm” (orgasm) in their patients. However, this tale is just a hypothesis and there is little, if any, proof it actually happened. A doctor named Joseph Mortimer Granville indeed invented the first electric vibrator in the 19th century, as the film Hysteria posits, but he didn’t have sexual uses in mind, and wasn’t even a particularly forward-thinking chap in terms of sex or gender.

That said, a story doesn’t have to be in line with your ethics or even be true for it to incite a hellfire in your kink-brain. I’ve always been turned on by the idea of “sex as a service” in kink roleplays, whether we’re talking about a daddy getting his little girl off to help her sleep, a masseuse administering a deft “happy ending,” or – yes – a Victorian doctor bringing off his patient with skilful hands. I enjoy these dynamics’ interplay between searing heat and cold detachment, the obvious and inescapable power differential, and the sense of mastery and of being mastered. Maybe I’m drawn to these fantasies partly because of how many casual hookups I’ve had: in a world where non-dudes’ orgasms are considered an optional add-on rather than a core feature of sex, it’s hot to imagine someone who will not only get me off, but who will do so with precision and efficiency because it’s their literal job.

Sometime after that first viewing of Hysteria in 2011, I began fantasizing about cool-eyed doctors in clinical lab coats. I thought about their gentle bedside manner, their soft baritone assurances that “the procedure is perfectly routine” and “this won’t hurt at all.” I thought about stethoscopes, speculums, and cold dollops of lubricant in an open palm. I thought about strong fingers stroking my outsides and penetrating my insides. I thought about my own inhibitions in this fictional scenario, the weakly suppressed blush creeping onto my cheeks and the quickening of my breath, always met by the doctor’s soft promise that it’s okay to feel what I’m feeling; it’s okay to make noise.

I thought, too, about how the doctor would feel in these situations. Actual Victorian physicians were unconvinced women could have orgasms without penetration or at all, since the model of sexuality back then was highly intercourse-focused (which still hasn’t changed as much as one would hope, to be honest). Would they even be aware that their patients’ obvious signs of sexual arousal were indeed sexual arousal? Would they feel themselves getting sympathetically turned on and not know why? Would some of them be fully cognizant of what they were doing and secretly delight in it? Would a particularly attractive patient break their composure, prompting them to want to add their mouth or cock to the “treatment plan”? Would they do this under the guise of medical necessity, or would they simply come clean and confess to wanting their patient that badly, medical license be damned?

This fantasy haunted my brain for years, and somehow I never thought I’d really be able to act it out. This conviction was so strong, in fact, that when I met another person who shared this kink, I wanted to overlook his boundary-crossing and rudeness to pursue a potential scene with him. Eventually my self-respect overcame my carnal curiosity, but it was a hard-won battle. That speaks to how powerful this fantasy had become in my mind.

You can imagine my delight, then, when I disclosed this kink to my current boyfriend during one of our early phone chats and he expressed some interest in it. We began playing with it in phone-sex roleplays (and once in person so far). He is always a doctor and I am always a patient experiencing hysteria symptoms – usually sexual frustration and intrusive sexual fantasies, though my character’s naiveté varies so sometimes she doesn’t even have the language to identify these symptoms as such. Likewise, his degree of complicity in the situation’s sexual bent also changes: sometimes he is actively attracted to me and knows what that means and entails, and other times, he is more detached and professional (I enjoy both). Sometimes we imagine we’re physically together in his office at a medical practice; other times, I’ve called in to some kind of medical help line. Sometimes he uses hypnosis or (imagined) anaesthesia to relax me, or perhaps to lull me into a state that makes me easier to take advantage of.

Often, he has to explain my own anatomy to me, and I find this particularly exciting. As evidenced by my overlapping interests in roleplaying as a little girl or a precocious student, I love kink dynamics that allow for teaching and learning. The power discrepancy is electric, and when the thing being taught to me is something as basic as knowledge of my own body, that imbalance feels even more pronounced. I often envision my character in this roleplay as being either a virgin or the wife of a sexually clueless man (as I’m sure many Victorian men were), so that my doctor can introduce me to sensations totally new to me. Although in real life I’ve been a sex toy reviewer for 6+ years and an avid masturbator for much longer, in the headspace of this roleplay I can re-experience the magic of discovering new things my body can feel for the very first time.

Like many of my kinks, this one raises a moral dilemma for me. The whole idea of “female hysteria” is, of course, rooted in misogyny (not to mention cissexism), as are its treatments – whether imagined or real. But as I’ve discovered again and again with kink after kink, there can be something powerful about subverting your oppression into a source of pleasure. Though my boyfriend, playing the all-knowing doctor, is outwardly in control of the scene every time we do this roleplay, really it’s always me who’s in the driver’s seat. It’s me who requested this type of play, defined what I find hot about it, and set the boundaries I want respected. If I was born in Victorian times, maybe I’d be subjected to horrible medical interventions to “treat” my unacceptably high libido – but because I was born into this modern era instead, I get to explore authentic pleasure, guilt-free, with people who accept and adore both my libido and me. It’s a small comfort in a world still wracked by sexism and shame, but I’ll take what I can get.

 

Do you have any fantasies you feel guilty about? Have you ever experimented with hysteria roleplay or other types of medical play?

5 Kinks I Hope to Try in 2018

It’s long been a tradition here at Girly Juice that I set myself sexual goals at the beginning of each year. Last year was a rare exception: in lieu of concrete goals, I endeavored to scale back on relentless hookups and focus on quality over quantity with regards to my sex life. I think that, for the most part, I accomplished that in 2017.

This year, though, I am feeling reinvigorated to try new things, chase fresh dick, and boldly go where I have never gone before. Here are 5 utterly new-to-me kinks I’m curious about and would like to experiment with this year…

E-stim (electrostimulation) intrigues me because it promises a different sensation from anything else I’ve ever tried. Unlike the brusque pain of a spanking or the deep pleasure of standard genital stimulation, E-stim is described variously as tickly, prickly, warm and tingly. As a sex nerd and unabashed perv, when I see new sensations available on the horizon, I say: sign me up!

I am hopeful that I can get a sex toy company to send me a Neon Wand to try soon, or that I’ll meet a new play partner who has an E-stim setup of their own and would relish subjecting me to it. We shall see!

Hypnokink (also known as erotic hypnosis) is fucking fascinating! I have a new partner who’s super into it and has been teaching me some things – including by trancing me over the phone a couple times – and I instantly want to know everything about it. I love the idea of a dominant partner being able to get inside my brain and dominate me psychologically in an even more direct way than other types of D/s allow for. Obviously you should only attempt this with people you trust and who actually know their shit!

In a couple weeks I’m going to see my hypnotic beau and we’ve negotiated some more intense hypno stuff we’re going to try. I am fiendishly excited!

Fear play is scary and hot, and hot and scary! Many moons ago, I heard Violet Blue read a chapter from an N.T. Morley erotic novel on her podcast Open Source Sex which opened my mind to the carnal appeal of knives, consensual “kidnapping,” and other fear-based sexy stimuli. In the story, a woman is abducted (consensually) and forced to lie face-down on the floor of a boat, masked and shackled, while an anonymous assailant wiggles a knife back and forth on her clit. It doesn’t cut her or hurt her, merely rubs her to orgasm, but the threat of injury is always there, igniting the pleasure with a spark of peril.

Consuming the oeuvres of fear-play aficionados like Ken Melvoin-Berg and Dick Wound this past year (the latter of whom used some knives on me in an introductory, not-especially-scary manner a few weeks ago, whetting my fear appetite further) has acclimatized me to the idea that terror can be sexy – in the right context, and with the right partners. My limited experiences with fear play have proven this to me: a partner nibbling along my jugular but not biting down, for example, or taking me to the edge of my pain limits with a thorough spanking but never quite pushing me into active distress. I’m interested to see if I can evoke even deeper trust, subspace and catharsis with a fear-savvy partner this year!

Bootblacking thrills me, in theory, but I’m unsure if it’s for sexy reasons or simply because I am a fancy femme with a penchant for beautiful, high-quality footwear. (Maybe it’s both. My femme brain and my sex brain have a lot of overlap.)

This is a rare kink where I can equally see myself enjoying being on either side of the interaction. I think I’d like to begin by getting my boots blacked by someone who knows their shit, and then maybe attempt to shine someone else’s boots. There is a taboo sort of intimacy to this kink that makes me feel all tingly inside…

Medical play has come up many times before on this here blog. It haunts my fantasy-brain but I have no idea if I’d actually like it in real life. (That’s true of many kinks, actually…)

I have a lot of feelings about the idea of a hot domly person in a lab coat putting my feet up in stirrups, slipping into some nitrile gloves, lubing up a speculum, and giving me a “routine examination.” These fantasies are often tinged with elements of the treatments doctors supposedly gave Victorian women to help abate their “female hysteria” via “hysterical paroxysm.” Just as the Daddy doms in my little-girl fantasies make me come “for my own good,” so too do the efficient and dexterous doctors in my medical-play fantasies…

What kinks or activities are you hoping to play with in 2018?