When I got my first mental illness diagnosis in high school (seasonal affective disorder), I was bewildered. Up until then I had thought of myself as an eminently sane person, always sharp and on top of things. I’ve learned so much in the years since – not least of which, that mentally ill people can still be incredibly sharp and on top of things!
While I got that first diagnosis nearly a decade and a half ago, I haven’t always been great at managing my symptoms or processing my feelings. It’s been a slow learning process, and I still have a lot of work to do. But incase this is helpful info for any of you, here are the 10 biggest things I’ve done to improve my sense of mental and emotional balance and calm. A lot of these things are immensely complicated, though they may sound simple – but regardless, I’m glad to have done every single one of them.
Went on meds. This is an obvious one but it’s one you should at least consider if you’ve never tried it. For a long time I avoided asking my doctors about depression medication because I thought my low moods were mostly circumstantial, not neurochemical – but I eventually learned that depression easily masquerades as a simple reaction to shitty circumstances in your life. I went on sertraline (generic Zoloft) for a short period, but the sexual side effects (for me: genital numbness and inability to orgasm) were a dealbreaker. Years later, I went on bupropion (Wellbutrin), one of the only depression meds not known to cause sexual side effects. I’ve been on it for over a year now, and while I definitely still have my depressed days, overall my mood is markedly better.
Got a SAD lamp. Well, more accurately, my parents got me a SAD lamp – in 2007. Remarkably, it still works today even though I’ve never replaced the lightbulbs?! Well-played, Day-Light. This useful gadget shines bright, specially-toned light in your face, and is known to alleviate depression for some people, especially those with seasonal affective disorder. When I’m feeling lethargic and gloomy, I’ll often sit at my desk and read, write, or watch something on my computer while the lamp is on. About 30-45 minutes of daily lamp time does wonders for my mood and energy levels.
Moved out of an unhealthy living environment… and into a room with a much bigger window. A twofer! My last roommate, for reasons partly under her control, regularly aggravated my mental and physical health problems with her habits and behaviors. Maybe other people could live with her, but I sure couldn’t, so I got out of there and moved in with a friend – and I’ve felt much calmer, happier, and healthier since then. It helps that almost one entire wall of my current room is taken up by a ginormous window, since – as we’ve discussed – my depression is very responsive to light or lack thereof.
Started using marijuana medicinally. I mean, I use it recreationally too. But becoming aware of its potential therapeutic benefits for my particular body and brain was a game-changer. High-CBD strains are great when my anxiety throws me off the rails, while more THC-centric strains enable me to rediscover joy, laughter, and pleasure when I’m so depressed that these things feel inaccessible. Weed also helps enormously with my chronic pain – so, while I can’t really use it when I’m working and need to stay sharp, on many difficult days it helps me push through my physical and emotional symptoms so I can function and get stuff done.
Learned CBT techniques in therapy. I’ve been to several different therapists and most of them weren’t that helpful to me, honestly. I never found it terribly useful to talk through my day-to-day trials and tribulations with someone who lacked the proper context and knowledge to really help me (e.g. a familiarity with polyamory or kink). Cognitive-behavioral therapy, on the other hand, involves “homework” – assignments, whether written down or more experiential, that help you practice cognitive strategies for improving your moods and your life. Not everyone finds CBT beneficial, largely because it presupposes that your mental discomfort is at least partly the result of errors in thinking, rather than having a neurochemical basis. But errors in thinking do contribute to my depression and anxiety, and correcting those errors using CBT is often markedly helpful for me.
Codified my coping strategies. By which I mean: wrote them down in many places where I’ll see them every day, and eventually memorized some of them such that they will usually come to mind as plausible options even when I’m too depressed to think. This might sound small and obvious, but it’s not – my depressed brain is very bad at knowing how to even take small steps toward improving how I feel, so it’s important that I keep practicing and reminding myself of the coping strategies that work, in any way I can.
Subscribed to several podcasts I love. Podcasts are one of the first distractions I turn to when I need to take my mind off my emotional malaise. They pull me out of my own brain and absorb me with their stories and jokes. Whether I’m listening to a comedy advice show hosted by genial brothers, a sharp play-by-play of a famous historical incident, or a roast of a terrible movie, podcasts make me feel less alone, and less wrapped up in my own problems.
Strengthened my journaling habit. I’ve always journaled, but since developing mental health conditions, I’ve started to view this practice as less optional and more necessary. Emotional processing is immensely valuable, and I also like being able to look back at old journal entries and see that the things I was so scared about, or depressed by, rarely turned out to be as bad as they seemed. That knowledge and perspective gives me strength I would otherwise find hard to access.
Committed to daily to-do lists. Alexandra Franzen calls hers a checklist; call yours whatever you want! All I know is that before I started keeping a to-do list every weekday – which, incidentally, my dominant has access to – I was much more scattered than I am now. I had less of a sense of what needed to get done, and accordingly, less of a sense of how much I’d truly achieved by the end of a long day – and how much celebration that merited! Checking items off a list gives the brain a hit of dopamine that can be really calming and centering, for a depressed person or really for anyone. I highly recommend it.
Started talking about mental health with my loved ones more regularly. I feel like it’s become much more acceptable to discuss this kind of thing, publicly and privately, over the past decade or two. Although I am sometimes tempted to keep my struggles internal so I don’t have to trouble anyone else with them, I always feel better after talking through my moods with a trusted pal, partner, or family member. Their support is monumental.
What strategies have helped you most with your mental health?
