Monthly Favorites: Sasha, Siri, & Sherlock

Here are some of the things that got my rocks off most regularly in March… (Can you believe the springtime months are upon us at last?!)

Toys

• While cleaning my room, I stumbled upon my Sasha Grey black glass wand, which I’d totally forgotten about. It remained by my bedside for the rest of the month and I used it a lot. Glass toys are so easy to just “grab and go” – I rarely need to use lube with them, which I love. This one feels really good but isn’t mega-intense like some G-spot toys are, so it’s been a go-to for my casual/lazy masturbation sessions lately.

• Another old favorite I rediscovered this month: the NobEssence Fling. Just, ugh, fuck, this toy feels so damn good on my G-spot, and it has finger holes for easier thrusting, and it’s handmade out of gorgeous burgundy wood. Marry me, Fling.

• The Lelo Siri 2 was my clit’s right-hand man this month. Rumbly, waterproof, portable, and a comfortable shape and size. Yes, yes, yes. (One warning, though: I’m pretty sure the Siri is haunted by ghosts, a.k.a. has mechanical problems. Mine turned on by itself at full power one morning, blasting me awake and rendering me completely confused. Its lights blinked at me for no reason all day after that. But it still works fine when I actually want to use it, soooo…?!)

Fantasy fodder

• One of my favorite fanfiction writers, Kasuchi, posted a new Brooklyn Nine-Nine story with tags that included “porn without plot,” “cunnilingus,” and “Jake Peralta’s talented mouth,” so of course, I was all over that shit. I read it three times in one day and jerked off twice (which is a big deal for me – I’m still not very multi-orgasmic!), and then it continued to haunt my brain for the rest of the month. I’m actually getting kind of turned on just writing about this story right now. Uh, I might have a problem.

• This month I finally got around to watching BBC’s Sherlock, which is fucking brilliant, and I discovered (to my extreme glee, obviously) that the fanfiction culture/community around this show is rabid and highly creative. A Cure For Boredom is my favorite piece I’ve found so far. I stayed up til 3AM reading it the night before an important work-related meeting, so that should give you some indication of how enthralled I was with this story.

• I didn’t watch a whole lot of porn this month, but when I did, it was mostly clips of Heather from IDeepThroat. She’s an old-school favorite of mine, for reasons I really don’t understand (why am I so obsessed with blowjobs in porn but not IRL?! The world may never know!).

Et cetera

• Bathtime masturbation loomed large in my legend this month. Would you guys be into a post about designing your own sexual self-care practice? Because, FYI, mine is definitely a long hot bath with scented Epsom salts, a big glass of wine, and a selection of waterproof sex toys. Blissful sigh.

This Spotify playlist served as the soundtrack for much of my self-lovin’ this month. I particularly love this Alina Baraz song. Amazing how a great slow-jam can get your hips rolling and your mind racing…

What were some of your favorite sex-related things this month? Products, fantasies, helpful accessories, whatever! I wanna hear about ‘em!

My Sex Toy Drawers

Today I’m going to take a leaf out of Epiphora’s book and show you how I store my sex toys. This is something I’m always curious about with other people, so I thought I’d share some photos for those of you who obsess over toy storage as much as I do!

When I first started reviewing sex toys, I cleaned out this old stack of plastic drawers that had been holding miscellaneous papers and objects in my bedroom for years. I had previously been keeping my sex toys in a vintage hatbox, but my collection was already starting to outgrow that method, so I knew it was time for an upgrade.

On top of the drawers, I keep my external hard drives (there’s no other place for them to go, so whatevs!), a bottle of antibacterial toy cleaner, and a washcloth for wiping off the cleaner once it’s done its job. I also usually keep newer toys on top of the drawers as a reminder to myself that I need to use them so I can review them.

The top drawer holds all my frequently-used favorites, with the exception of the Eroscillator which I keep plugged in at my bedside. This drawer contains the Fling, Pure Wand, Tsunami (review coming on Friday!), Lelo Mona, Turbo Glider, and Amethyst. I’ve also stuffed in some Tantus stickers that I don’t know what to do with, and my original Eroscillator attachments, which I never use now that I have the fingertip attachment.

The second drawer holds anal toys like the Ripple and Joe Rock, vaginal exercisers like the Eclipse balls and Magic Banana, and couples’ toys like the Tiani and FixSation. I’ve also filled this drawer with toy wipes, small bottles and packets of lube, unneeded bullet vibes, flavored condoms, and latex gloves. This is basically a drawer of miscellany. As a side note, I keep all the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags so that they don’t touch each other and have chemical reactions.

My third drawer is deeper than the others, so it can fit more stuff. I use it to hold all the dildos I use sometimes but not too often, like the Ella, Adam, and Echo. Once again, I keep the silicone toys wrapped in plastic bags (which are kept in this drawer for easy access), and I try to wrap all the glass toys in some kind of padded covering, like a scarf or some packing materials.

The bottom drawer doesn’t get used very often. Currently it’s where I keep extra condoms, porn DVDs, erotica books, and random instructional booklets that came with some of my toys.

As for the toys I own that I rarely or never use anymore, those get stashed in my hatbox, where I can remove them to show them off to friends but don’t actually have to look at them or deal with them. I keep condoms in a little easy-access basket right next to my bed, and lube just adjacent to that.

How do you store your sex toys? What would be the ideal storage system for your toy collection?

My New Lover: NobEssence Fling

Just LOOK at this motherfucker! Drink in its insane beauty!

I bought my NobEssence Fling on buyout from Eden Fantasys to offset its high cost, so my full review of it is located on their website. But I still felt that you needed to hear me extol its virtues. Because this thing is a G-spotting boss.

When I was contemplating NobEssence toys, I asked Epiphora what she thought of the Fling, since it was the one that was calling out to my G-spot. She said, “Haven’t tried it but my gut says your money’s better spent on the Seduction or Tryst.” I trust her opinion on most things, but the more that I looked at those toys and their measurements, the more I became convinced that they probably wouldn’t work for me. I’ve learned that my G-spot likes big bulbs, but that my vagina can only rarely take toys wider than 1 ½". So I defied Epiphora (!) and went with the Fling.

I ordered my Fling in what EF calls “burgundy,” which turned out to be a dark red wood called Padauk that lights up bright red when held up to light. It’s hand-carved, and sealed in a coating called Lubrosity that keeps it safe from me juicing all over it (and also, you know, makes it washable and bleachable and stuff).

It is a very near-perfect toy. My EF review of it is titled “Nature’s Answer to the Pure Wand,” and if you know sex toys, you know what a huge compliment that is. The Fling causes that immediate, intense, “whoa boy” kind of G-spot sensation that only the Pure Wand and Amethyst have really been able to create in me before – and it does it without straining my wrist or requiring weird angling to happen. I just lube it up, slide it in, and my G-spot practically shrieks in ecstasy.

One of the very strange things about the Fling is that its diameter is apparently the same as the dildo that conquered my vagina, and yet the Fling actually fits inside me. It’s a little bit painful upon initial insertion, especially if I haven’t warmed up with a smaller toy first, but once I get it past the opening, it slips straight in and there’s no pain involved. I’m convinced that this toy is magic.

I’m very glad that my first NobEssence toy is the Fling, and I’m not even sure that I’ll want another one, to be honest with you. This dildo is so perfect that I can’t even imagine wanting it to have a sibling in my toybox.