I Sold My Panties to a Stranger

Years ago, I heard a rumor about an ex-girlfriend of mine that I considered very unsavory. The rumor was that she had taken up selling her used panties to random dudes she found via Craigslist, in order to earn a little extra spending money.

My feminism wasn’t as evolved then as it is now, so my first reaction was one of disgust and pity. My attitude toward her was slut-shaming, though I’m not sure I knew that term back then. I thought someone would have to be really desperate and depraved to do what she was (reputedly) doing.

Granted, I think we may have been about 17 then, so there was an element of age-related weirdness on top of all the other weirdness I thought I perceived. But now, seemingly aeons later, not only have my feelings on that ex’s panty-selling evolved, but I’ve actually been wanting to try it out myself. Why not, right? I’ve got panties, I could use more money, and it would be like a very basic form of the ethical fetishism I’m always advocating for.

I posted half-heartedly on Reddit’s /r/pantyselling forum a couple of times, with photos, descriptions and prices. But no buyers went for my wares. That forum relies on a feedback system, and it’s also often the women with sexier pictures (and “sexier” bodies) who get voted to the top for maximum visibility. I thought there was no interest and abandoned the task for a couple months.

Then, however, I tweeted about it – and almost immediately, I attracted the interest of a guy who follows me on Twitter. It makes sense, now that I think about it, that people who already “know me” (even if it’s just via the internet) would have more of an interest in buying my panties: as with most fetish objects, it’s not just about the object, but also about the fantasy behind the object – which may include the person behind the object. This guy had read about my masturbatory adventures here on my blog so he knew what he was getting himself into.

We emailed back and forth for a while, negotiating type and number of pairs to be sold (1 thong and 1 pair of briefs), what would be done to them (soaked through with vaginal fluids), and how much they would cost ($20 each plus shipping). Fortunately we were able to come to an agreement pretty painlessly; he didn’t ask me for anything that made me uncomfortable.

Well, except for when he asked if I could make a video to go along with the pictures I’d be sending. That made me a little apprehensive, not because I’m averse to someone owning a video of me masturbating but more because I am soooo not a performer/exhibitionist and just don’t feel sexy in front of a camera, ever. But he made it clear that any video or audio would just be an added bonus and not part of the core price he was paying me, so I didn’t feel obligated to do it, and he wasn’t upset that I didn’t end up doing it.

His main request was that he wanted the two pairs I was sending to be as soaking wet as I could get them. I’m not a squirter, so this doesn’t happen instantaneously; it takes work and time to get me to an adequate level of wetness. That’s why I normally use lube when I jerk off – but, of course, I wasn’t being paid for panties soaked with artificial lubricant. So I had to do it for real.

I felt a bit of performance anxiety even though I wasn’t being filmed. There was pressure: to smell fresh (I showered thoroughly before each play session), to get super wet (I warmed up with lots of porn and erotica and then drew out my sessions much longer than I normally would, for maximum saturation, so to speak), and to be sexy in my correspondence (my approach to sexual chatting is usually less “smoldering and risqué” and more “dorky and honest”).

I also felt embarrassed that my panties aren’t tiny. I’m not a small person. I wear a size 10 or 12 on my bottom half, putting me right on the (admittedly arbitrary) cusp between “regular” and “plus” sizes, and I always feel self-conscious about that in sexual situations unless the person has explicitly admitted to liking my body or liking chubbier bodies in general. Fortunately it wasn’t an issue at all. I think my patron was more focused on the wet crotch of the panties than their dimensions.

I sold two pairs of panties and had two orgasms in each pair, which isn’t typical for me (I’m not very multi-orgasmic). I sealed each pair in an individual Ziploc bag and crammed them into a little bubble mailer. Then I took them to the post office and anxiety-sweated through the mailing process. (I thought they were going to ask me to fill out a customs form explaining what was in the package. Luckily, they didn’t, because my buyer was from the same country as me.)

He received the package a couple days later and seemed happy with its contents. I was two pairs of underwear poorer and $40 richer. If you’re wondering: I went out and spent the money on some fancy scented candles for my workspace. Re-investing sexy-on-the-internet money into my sexy-on-the-internet work environment, you might say. It makes a certain sense to me.

Anyway, after all that rambling, I want to hear from you… Have you ever sold your underwear, or any other fetish object? How did you go about it? Would you consider doing it again?

Review: FixSation

Sexy Living told me they were sending me a FixSation and I was like, “Oh great, another wearable vibrator. Prepare for disappointment.”

I’d previously had a very iffy experience with the Lelo Tiani, which is, itself, a rip-off of the We-Vibe. So I felt kinda “meh” about having to wedge another vibe between me and my man.

Honestly, though, the FixSation is pretty okay, as far as wearable vibes go.

Before I get into specifics… can we talk about the name for a second? FixSation. When I first heard it, I thought it was possibly the most nondescript product name I’d ever heard. It doesn’t exactly sound like a sex toy, nor does it really sound like anything in particular. FixSation’s slogan is “Fixate on the Sensation when Friction meets Vibration,” so the name makes sense if you know the toy’s mission, but I don’t think I would ever guess its purpose just from the name. This makes it unmemorable – throughout the testing process, my boyfriend and I kept saying stuff like, “Want to use that… weird contraption… lacy thing?” because we couldn’t remember what it was actually called.

The FixSation has some damn classy packaging, which I can always appreciate. It comes in a slipcovered, thick cardboard box, containing compartments that hold the charger, the vibrator itself, the garter belt-like adornment that it attaches to, and a grey satin-ish bag for storage. Also included: a page of warranty information and instructions with illustrations that make me laugh.

It’s a rechargeable toy (fully, unlike the Lelo Tiani, with its rechargeable main unit and battery-operated remote). The charging port is covered by a little rubber plug when not in use, making it splashproof. This is one way in which Tiani wins, by being fully waterproof. I’m not a frequent shower-fucker, but it’s nice to have that option.

I definitely recommend that you take the time to figure out the FixSation well in advance of when you plan to use it. Some reviewers have put it together in a snap, while others have struggled; as for me, I had to recruit my boyfriend to do it. He threaded the thin, stretchy straps of the “panty companion” through the sides of the FixSation itself, and then hooked them into the back of the panties. The whole process was fairly similar to dealing with a garter belt or a bra, but I’ve never really been good at that kind of thing (despite being a total femme all my life), so I’m glad I had my man on hand to help.

You’ll have to unhook and re-hook the FixSation from its garter-panties home anytime you want to wash it (soap and water works – it’s ABS plastic with a PU coating), but after doing it once or twice, it gets much easier.

Sexy Living sent me a size medium, and I normally wear a large. The panty companion didn’t cause me any discomfort, though; the only downside to having the wrong size is that it created an unsightly muffin top. As far as I can tell, the product runs true to size – and it goes up to size XXL (18-20). All you curvy goddesses, take note!

In use, I definitely preferred the FixSation to the Lelo Tiani. The FixSation is contoured to the shape of the pubic mound and vulva, so it stays put when I wear it during sex. And unlike the other leading couples’ vibes (We-Vibe and Tiani), the FixSation has no internal arm. Women like me, who have a small-ish vagina that can only just accommodate a penis, may enjoy this feature of the FixSation. I certainly found it a lot more comfortable to wear than the Tiani, because there wasn’t any hard silicone poking me in the G-spot every five seconds.

One discomfort issue, which isn’t so much painful as annoying, is the ridges on the “female side” of the FixSation. They’re meant to stimulate the clit, which seems almost like a good idea until you realize: who wants tiny ridges rubbing over their clit?! Not me. The ridges are only really noticeable if my boyfriend presses really hard against me, but it’s enough of an issue to make me wish that this toy had a clit-sized bump there instead.

To turn on the vibrations, you hold down the power button (which is placed in a spot that’s actually convenient, hooray!) for 2-3 seconds. The FixSation has three speeds, which can be cycled through by pressing the button until you get to the desired speed. Disappointingly, the vibration strength is nothing to write home about, and is comparable at its highest to the medium settings on my other rechargeable toys, like the Lelo Mona.

For this reason, I don’t think the FixSation does well as a “finisher.” It doesn’t get me off during sex. It can feel very good, especially when my boyfriend presses his hips into me rhythmically or rotates them in a circle against my pelvis, but it just doesn’t have the power to get me off. It would work better for women who are sensitive and don’t usually use the highest settings on their toys.

Normally, if a toy is weak enough that I eventually have to give up and switch over to my Eroscillator, it makes me feel kind of frustrated and let down… but I don’t feel that way about the FixSation, at least not intensely. I feel that it’s a fun addition to intercourse, and it works better than the Lelo Tiani for what it’s set out to do – at least, for me. I might use it during those times when I want to make sex more enjoyable for myself but am not particularly fixated on getting off.

However, not gonna lie, I’m still eagerly waiting for the day that I discover a wearable vibe that actually makes me come during intercourse, hands-free. And preferably without poking my G-spot.