3 Sexual Fantasies I Hope to Act Out Someday

One of the best things about working in sex media: you’re constantly exposed to new kinks and scenarios, and therefore, if you’re lucky, you’re constantly coming up with new sexual fantasies to lust after.

I know what my main kinks are – the basic building blocks of my psychosexual makeup – but I’m always adding new things to my peripheral list of “hmm, maybe someday” kinds of kinks. Whether I’m reading fanfiction or classy erotica, watching art porn or raunchy amateur clips, discussing friends’ recent sexploits or telling them about mine, I’m always filling my head with new ideas for my “fucket list.”

Here are 3 fantasies I’m slightly fixated on lately…

An MFM threesome. I’ve had several threesomes, but all were with a man + either a non-binary person or another woman. They were all absolutely delightful, but gosh, I’d love to be the focus of two dudes’ focus at once. Maybe a dominant guy would tell a submissive guy what to do to me; maybe one dude would worshipfully go down on me while the other fucked my face; maybe we’d even work our way up to double penetration. (Ambitious!) Whatever the situation, I bet I’d love being the centre of attention.

Professor/schoolgirl roleplay. Maybe I’ve watched too much dialogue-heavy situational European porn, or maybe it’s just my inner teacher’s pet showing, but I’ve always had a thing for sexy teacher/student dynamics. I fetishize red apples used as ballgags and wooden rulers thwacked against nubile butts. I feel sexiest and sassiest in short thigh-baring skirts, and I get a little weak in the knees for tweed blazers with elbow patches. Someday I hope a well-dressed domly person (consensually) bends me over a wooden desk, tells me I’ve been a bad girl, and gives me an opportunity to earn some extra credit…!

Erotic massage. For as long as I can remember, I’ve eroticized the idea of someone deftly and expertly getting me off, like it’s their fuckin’ job – and in this fantasy, it is. Depending on my mood, sometimes I picture the masseuse actually finding me attractive and getting turned on in a highly unprofessional way – or sometimes I just want them to be stony and stoic, stroking me on autopilot until I fall apart. Either way, it’s a fantasy so hot that I tense up from arousal… and probably need a good massage to work out those kinks, if you know what I’m sayin’.

What fantasies are haunting your sex-brain recently?

 

This post was generously sponsored by the folks at PornDoe, and as always, all writing and opinions are my own!

Monthly Faves: Cakes, Collars, & Analog Orgasms

Are you having a nice summer so far? I sure am! Here were some of my favorite sexy things in June…

Sex toys

• I will be real with you: the majority of my orgasms this month were the doing of my boyfriend’s mouth and/or fingers, not a toy. In fact, I have felt somewhat lukewarm toward vibrators recently. I’m sure it’ll pass; they’re just a different kind of pleasure, one I’m not especially feelin’ right now. It’s like how sometimes you get obsessed with sushi for a few weeks and eat so much of it that eventually you feel like you never want to lay eyes on another dynamite roll ever again… but then you’re back at the sushi place the following month. Everything is cyclical, naw’m sayin’?

• When I did use vibrators this month, I was particularly partial to the ScreamingO Charged Vooom, which I reviewed back in April. It’s got a lovely level of rumbliness for such a tiny vibe. The raspberry-pink color makes me happy, too.

• I bought a Weal & Breech wooden paddle at the Pink Market T.O. and it is soooo fancy and beautiful! All of this company’s stuff is painstakingly handmade by folks who clearly know what they’re doing, both wood-wise and kink-wise. This paddle is thuddy with a bit of sting, and feels luxurious in the hand (and on the butt). Swoooon!

Fantasy fodder

• At one point this month, my boyf fucked me and then went down on me while fingerfucking me, and I was a bit stoned so I started having a weird fantasy: I imagined there were two of him, one fucking me and one licking my clit, and the one going down on me was intermittently saying filthy shit like “I’m gonna make you come all over his cock, little one.” Uhhh. Can this type of threesome be an actual reality in my life sometime?! I’m not sure about position logistics, but I bet we could figure it out.

• Speaking of threesomes… Lately I keep picturing a scenario in which my very dommy boyfriend sits on the sidelines issuing orders while me and another subby femme (*cough*) get it on. Specifically, I want him to tell a lady to go down on me and then instruct her on exactly how to make me come. And then he can boss me into going down on her too. HELP, I’M DEAD, this fantasy is too hot.

• (Content warning for consensual non-consent and “rape” porn.) I watched some “stalker porn” this month, i.e. porn based around the contrivance that a (male) stalker has broken into the home of his (female) unrequited love and essentially rapes her (but, as is par for the course in a lot of kinky porn, she eventually gets into it). While I still often feel icky about my “con non-con” kinks, I can’t deny that this scenario definitely makes me Feel Some Ways…

Sexcetera

• I got to be the demo bottom for an impact play workshop my friend Taylor J Mace taught at The Nookie this month. It was fun to get spanked in front of spectators! (Later that night, my boyfriend gave me a more thorough spanking, and we joked that the workshop had been a “slappetizer.”)

• On our podcast this month, Bex and I talked about fanfiction, Daddy doms, and sex-positivity, and we interviewed Andre Shakti about polyamory and fisting.

• Nerdy orgasm statz: I had 28 orgasms in June, which is about average for me. 17 of those (61%) were with a partner, and the other 11 (39%) were from masturbation. That brings my total for the year so far up to 162.

Femme stuff

• Back in April, I bought some tiny black shorts from H&M for about $15, and they’ve gotten a shocking amount of wear in recent weeks. They are very small but I feel super cute in them. Score!

• I wrote a piece about collars this month so I was pondering/lusting over them even more than usual. Peep these beauts: a simple black leather heart collar from NerdyPixie, a glorious padlocked day collar from LiquidNymph, the sexy deep purple Prince collar by Aslan Leather, and this ridiculously over-the-top heart necklace from Tarina Tarantino that would make an ideal day collar for, like, a rambunctious leather queen. *fans self* *sighs dramatically*

Little things

My new dayjob doing social media for some adult-industry companies. Friends who feel comfortable enough with me to confide in me. Nathan Stocker’s solo project (I never realized, before listening to his song “Little Rabbit,” how much I’d love for a domly partner to call me that…!). Spanakopita. Writing at a picnic table in a park. Improv dorks. Attending a cake-sitting party (OMG!). My boyf laundering my panties for me so I wouldn’t have to walk home in wet, day-old underwear (or, worse, commando). Getting to watch my little brother graduate. Combining perfumes. Sending pitches like a badass. Being dommed into making better decisions for my health (like taking my iron supplements and drinking more water). Grapefruit radlers in the park with Anais. Having my mind blown by Reid Mihalko’s jealousy workshop. Bite marks and bruises. A Tinder guy I found who had a cupcake recipe in his bio.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2016: 3 Fave Encounters

Today’s “12 Days of Girly Juice” instalment sums up my three favorite bang sessions of the year, and I have an embarrassing secret to confess: unlike last year’s diverse trio of fucktimes, all three of these encounters were with the same person.

It’s embarrassing because it implies that he’s the only good partner I’ve had all year, out of the 12 partners I had in 2016, and that none of the others were worth remembering or writing about. That’s not true at all; I had so much good sex this year and all of it was worthy of celebration!

But there are emotional factors at play which affect how I think about all those encounters. Many of those people have peaced out of my life, after messy break-ups, painful rejections, and/or shocking betrayals – and that drama retroactively mars the memory of the sex I had with those folks. What was amazing sex at the time just feels sad in retrospect.

The following three stories are about a fuckbuddy I’m still friendly with, one who doesn’t make me feel sad, resentful, angry, or betrayed. As such, my memories of sex with him have been left untouched by chaotic emotions, so I’m free to recall these memories in their full splendor. They seem every bit as hot, fun, exciting and transformative now as they did then.

26831978656_c32fc1af87_o
I snapped this selfie for Bex before embarking on my BJ date. “Do I look pretty?!”

Impromptu blowjob date

On the evening of February 11th, I sat in a lukewarm bath, realizing my sex life was about to change.

A few days earlier, I’d blown a fuckpal whose dick just jived with my mouth. Craving blowjobs was a completely new thing to me, so it’d taken a few days to sink in: not only did I enjoy blowing him, not only did I want to do it again, but I couldn’t stop thinking about doing it again. This was, for me, unprecedented.

In a sudden fit of impulsive bravery, I leapt out of the bath, grabbed my phone, and tapped out this DM to the aforementioned good-dick’ed dude:

Apologies if this comes across as crass or un-“chill,” but I have been thinking a lot about going down on you and would 100% be down to do that again sometime soon. Just lemme know. Sincerely, girl who is totally not this much of a BJ perv with most people but just had to speak what’s on her mind(/vag).

His reply was, shall we say, enthusiastic. We hammered out details, I threw on some clothes, and then I ventured out into the icy Toronto evening, en route to dat dick.

I gave him two blowjobs that night: one when I arrived, amid giggles, blushing, and R&B slowjams – and one later, after we’d gone out for drinks and dinner, when he muttered darkly into a kiss, “I’m thinking about your mouth…”

Sexual tastes take time to shift; it’s rare for a kink to spring up, fully formed, overnight. So maybe my descent into the Blowjob Fandom was more gradual than I realized. But for me, this is the night I’ll always remember as The Beginning of My Blowjob Obsession. Some dicks are so good, they make history in your life. Some dicks are so good, they rewire your brain. Some dicks are so good, they conjure desire where before there was only distaste.

Some of the toys I brought with me to our hotel-buttsex date (and a bottle of gin).
Some of the toys I brought with me to our hotel-buttsex date (and a bottle of gin).

Anal sex in a sketchy hotel

When we went out for dinner and drinks between Blowjob One and Blowjob Two (which sounds like a duo of Dr. Seuss characters I’d dearly love to meet), we discussed the possibility of him being the first person to fuck me in the ass.

It hadn’t occurred to me before that night in that Distillery District pub, but this particular fuckbuddy was really the perfect person to usher me into the world of anal sex. I liked and trusted him, we had good sexual rapport, and he had experience with butt stuff from both sides of the dick. He outranked me in the realm of Butt Wisdom, and I trusted him to guide me through the experience.

We booked a cheap hotel for the following Monday night and met up there, both nervous as hell and self-medicating with weed (him) and gin (me). We set the scene by cuddling, talking, and joking around. And when we were ready, we started into a sex sesh that lasted about four hours in total. Four languid hours of messing around, laughing, and trying things out. My butt got fucked at some point during the proceedings, but it didn’t feel like the Main Event; everything else was so much fun that the actual butt stuff felt very low-pressure and almost like an afterthought.

This night confirmed what I already knew: that goofy, relaxed sex is my favorite kind, that a shared sense of humor and rapport is vitally important to my sexual enjoyment with a partner, and that – yes! – I like getting fucked in the ass.

I don’t know that it’s always useful to agonize over who should be “your first” when it comes to a particular sexual act. I’m endlessly picky about who I want to fist me first, for example, whereas the first person I ever had sex with was just a friend, for whom I didn’t have sexual feelings. I think the importance of the person really depends on the specific act – and because anal sex is highly intimate, emotionally risky, and physically tricky, I’m super glad I held out for someone I deeply trusted and adored. The experience could not have been any better, truly. I think back on it with immense fondness and gratitude, and I hope my butt gets fucked more in 2017!

28042689031_dbf0210c7d_oBAMF threesome

One night in April, my then-boyfriend was over an hour late to meet me. I complained to Bex, who said, “You know who’d never be late to meet you?” and then they said the name of my fuckbuddy, who, at that time, I hadn’t seen in quite a while and missed a lot.

Bex was joking about my FWB being better for me and nicer to me than my boyfriend, but they were also right. That boyf was disrespectful, unfeminist, and made me feel terrible about being a sexual person. He always wanted me to “warn him” in advance if I wanted sex, acted like it was a favor he’d begrudgingly do for me, and talked about my body less like a hot piece of ass and more like a mildly distasteful science experiment. Though I didn’t want to admit it, I missed having sex with people whose approach to sex was spontaneous, enthusiastic, and joyful. Like that far-away fuckbuddy.

After tweeting about Bex’s remarks, I went to bed, because I had work early the next morning. By the time I woke up, Bex had a) had a conversation with said fuckbuddy about my tweet, b) explained that my boyfriend was basically the worst, and c) established that me, Bex, and the FWB should totally have a threesome. Bex makes dreams come true. They hadn’t gotten the go-ahead from me to set this up, but they didn’t need to: months earlier, on a streetcar, I’d randomly turned to them and said, “Hey, hypothetically, would you ever want to have a threesome with [my FWB]?” to which Bex immediately said, “Yeah!” So there was a precedent. And now that plan had been set in motion.

Over the next six weeks, we planned, brainstormed, sexted, and negotiated. I booked a bus ticket to New York and wrote a decidedly sex-centric packing list. We titled this landmark event “the BAMF threesome” – “Bean (Agender)/Male/Female threesome” – or, alternatively, “The Great Threesome of 2016.” I broke up with my boyfriend, in part because I realized I’d never been half as excited about him as I was about this threesome.

We wore matching rainbow socks, 'cause we knew the dude liked 'em.
We wore matching rainbow socks, ’cause we knew the dude liked ’em.

I took a 10-hour overnight bus from Toronto to New York, and then trekked from the bus station to Bex’s Queens apartment with my little suitcase and backpack full of sex toys. When I arrived, I found that we were wearing the same shirt, which just reiterated the whole “we are gonna sexually team up on a dude tonight” vibe.

The threesome itself was fucking adorable. Dude came over, showered, and the three of us nervously cuddled on a couch for an hour or two, talking and catching up. Then we semi-awkwardly transitioned to kissing, moved to the bed, and took some clothes off. What followed was a blurry mess of blowjobs, fingerbanging, spanking, fucking, biting, dirty-talking, and laughing. It was a magnificent synthesis of two people I love very much and all my favorite aspects of sex. So, basically: the best.

Despite all the threesomes I’ve been involved in, they’re not really my jam – I prefer the unbroken focus and intensity of one-on-one encounters. But sometimes the stars just align, and a magic threesome materializes from the ether like a stroke of genius. This was one of those. More than a sexual encounter, it was a bonding experience, a true test of friendship, some serendipitous playtime. I felt so lucky to know both of those people.

When we were done fucking, we ordered Mexican food, ate it while sitting unselfconsciously naked on Bex’s bedroom floor, and then climbed into bed for a cuddly three-way snooze. I’ve rarely gone to bed so happy, comfortable, and satisfied in my life.

 

What were your favorite sexual encounters of 2016?

Monthly Faves: Handsex, Hot Doms, & a Happenstance Threesome

7366fc28-70e6-4363-8b63-2645f9fc7f43

I was very smitten with November. After coming back from a two-week stint overseas, I felt even more in love with my hometown of Toronto than I normally do – not to mention, extra appreciative of the friends I had left behind here. I spent a lot of this month laughing, talking, and/or having sex with people who are super important to me, and all of it felt cozy and affirming. ❤️ Here are some of the products, ideas, and experiences I loved most this month…

Sex toys

• Kenton from Funkit Toys sent me a prototype of his Signet, a textured ring meant to be worn on the fingers for added stimulation during handsex. I wore it out to some events and several people marveled at my “elegant” ring, which I found hilarious. I was excited to use it with my FWB, since he’s already one of the best fingerbangers I’ve ever encountered – and holy jeez, it was great. As soon as he started fucking me while wearing the Signet, my decibel level rapidly increased, such that he laughed and said, “Oh, you like that, huh?!” Indeed: the texture adds an intensity that makes fingerbanging – already a favorite act of mine – even more delicious. Go buy a Signet; you only have until December 9th to do so!

• I spent the first 8 days of the month in Europe with no sex toys at my disposal except the G-Spoon and Tango I’d impulsively decided to bring. When I’m at home, these are both “second-string” toys for me: I’ll reach for the G-Spoon if I’m not up to the task of accommodating the Double Trouble or Eleven‘s girth, or if I specifically want to fantasize about having my A-spot fingered, and I’ll grab the Tango if I want something more pinpoint than the Magic Wand or that I can take in the bath. But maaan, they sure did the trick. The easiest formula for getting me off is a rumbly clit vibe + an A-spot-focused dildo, and this combo totally wins by those criteria.

• I bought a Hole Punch Fluke in a gorgeous blue ombré colorway. My vagina is deeeeeply enamored. It’s moreso a vaginal plug than a dildo; I like keeping it inside me while I watch porn and hold a Magic Wand to my clit. It’s the laziest possible way to administer G-spot stimulation and I love it.

Fantasy fodder

• When I’m in the mood to watch a dominant lady boss people around and be mean to ’em – a rare craving for me, but a potent one when it does come up – my first choice is always Aiden Starr. She’s one of the best dirty-talkers in the biz and she follows through on her smack-talk. I like this clip of “mad scientist” Aiden studying Daisy Ducati’s ejaculations, and Aiden forcing an orgasm out of Sara Luvv with a clit pump and a wand vibe. Good gawd, lady’s got game.

• I mentioned this in my Double Trouble post, and probably repeatedly on Twitter, but I’m not over my usually-vanilla-but-sometimes-vaguely-dominant FWB telling me, “See what happens when you trust me?” after I took his advice to relax into pleasure and he made me come. He told me later that he keeps his dom-y dirty-talk infrequent, partly because it makes him nervous but partly because the effect is heightened if his quips are few and far between. Um, yup. Very yup.

Sexcetera

• Mid-month, I had some friends over for a get-together, and among them were my favorite fuckpal and a beautiful lady. The day before, Suz had dreamed we had a threesome, so it was on my mind… as was the fact that each of these people had independently told me they’d be down to threesome with the other one. I took them each aside to separately ask if they were feelin’ threesome-y, and they both said yes – so later that night, after my other guests had skedaddled, a magical threesome materialized in my bed. It involved marijuana, a double blowjob, fingerbanging, toy-ramming, ample use of the Magic Wand Rechargeable, and lots of giggly makeouts wherein me and Suz kept squealing “You’re so pretty!” at each other. Overall: fantastic.

• Remember earlier this month when I told you all about how weed makes sex better for me? Yeah, I really practiced what I preach this month. At one point, my FWB and I got super high and he did stuff to my nipples with his hands and mouth, and I actually felt like I was sailing out of my body and into the astral plane from the sheer ecstasy of it. “That was hot,” he told me afterward. Yes, it certainly was.

• Some of my work elsewhere this month: I enthused about temperature play and ranted about buying partners sex toys for Ignite. I have a column about the decline of PIV in the latest issue of This. And on our podcast, Bex and I talked about handsex, PIV, butt stuff, and sexting. (Are you subscribed to our show yet?!)

Femme stuff

• I wanted to buy something glamorous while in Italy (’cause “When in Rome”!), so I stopped into a Sephora and picked up Armani Rouge d’Armani lipstick in “Lucky Red.” It’s the exact kind of red I like best: classic, cool-toned, and creamy but not glossy. The magnetic-closure tube makes me feel like a futuristic megababe, and the shade itself is a hot pop of confidence. I loooove it.

• When I’m feeling sartorially uninspired, I like dressing with a particular character or occasion in mind. When I went to an Andy Shauf show this month, I dressed like a navel-gazing hipster so I’d fit in with his crowd. When depression made it hard for me to get out of bed on American Thanksgiving weekend, Bex sent me a picture of them in their fancy family dinner outfit and told me to wear what I’d wear if I was going to their dinner with them. Other recent “costumes” include “hot grown-up Wednesday Addams,” witchy goth babe, and “butch greaser.” Hey, whatever works.

• I’ve been wearing my hair very curly lately (see also, and also, and also). My hair is naturally wavy, but a little wizardry with DevaCurl gel and a Turbie Twist can kick it up to eleven. Having giant hair makes me feel powerful, and I dig it.

Little things

This guide to helping a partner who’s having an anxiety meltdown (potential suitors, take note!). Putting lipstick on my five-year-old cousin at her request. The extreme peacefulness of the Ġgantija ruins. Curvy-lady statuettes. Hazelnut gelato, tiramisu, and cacio e pepe. Artistic advice from people I respect. My friend Lilly’s post about the BlogSquad. My SAD lamp. Going clothes shopping with hot friends and gasping dramatically over how gorgeous they look. Dancing to the Elwins in a dim basement with a new friend. Crackin’ jokes with my ex in a blessedly not-awkward way. “I’d die if I saw you; I’d die if I didn’t see you there.” Friends who happily accept my introvert-y proclivities. Making sweet potato risotto while listening to The Adventure Zone. Meeting a guy with swoopy hair at a party and telling him he looked like a Pokémon villain. Intoxicated BJs. Getting sex toys in the mail (always). Touch the Skyrim. Laughin’ it up with Brent and a bunch of nerds at a Use Your Words playtest. Makin’ New Year’s Eve plans with some babes I adore. Telling stories at TMSG (ideally when the people the story’s about are sitting in the front row and giggling at me). Sleeping At Last’s Atlas: Year One and his new Christmas album. My FWB doing a spot-on impression of my sex noises for my amusement.

What were your fave sexy thingz this month, babes?

Monthly Faves: Tangerine Dream, Vanilla Reverie & Lemongrass Perfume

mosaic59fb125cc658678f74b9ed40cee17fdb3addbb48

Maaaan, it was a weird month in my sex life. I started on sertraline (generic Zoloft) and it gave me some extremely annoying and disheartening sexual side effects, which I’d been warned about but had decided to risk anyway. My libido, sensitivity, and orgasmic potential were out of whack for much of the month. But the meds couldn’t kill my sexual spirit entirely: I still got up to no good, as I usually do!

Sex toys

• My Ttamage glass dildo got a surprising amount of use this month, considering how long I’ve had it and how infrequently I dig it out. I had more G-spot cravings than I usually do, for some reason, and the Ttamage dildo is one of the most ergonomic G-spot dildos I own because there’s so much extra length to use as a handle. Nothin’ like pounding your spots with cold, hard glass that warms up inside your body… Mmm.

• I’ve had my Liberator Wedge for a few years, and while I like it, it’s so big that it’s not always convenient to use. I’ve been wanting a smaller positioning aid to use during masturbation and PIV sex. It was love at first sight when I fondled a Jaz Mini at a sex shop in Milwaukee. The Jaz is barely wider than my hips, so it’s easier to manoeuver into place than the Wedge, and it’ll be easier to schlep to partners’ houses if I ever do that.

• Okay, marijuana isn’t technically a sex toy. But a) I couldn’t think of another toy to put on this list, and b) weed helped so much with my libido troubles this month. Specifically, a strain called Tangerine Dream, which makes my skin feel all warm and tingly, a sensation that parlays easily into arousal. Unfortunately, the Toronto police just cracked down on dispensaries so my weed usage might have to be put on hold, at least until the federal government legalizes it…

Fantasy fodder

• My mid-masturbation Google searches are the most accurate representation of what really turns my crank. This month, for whatever reason, “she keeps going after he cums” is a thing I typed into Google a lot. I found videos like this one which turned me on to no end.

• I have an occasional play partner who’s super vanilla, but who often gives me verbal permission to fantasize about anything I want while he’s stimulating me if it’ll help me get off. I love that! It’s remarkably selfless to acknowledge that your partner’s mind might not always be on you and that’s okay. But in this case, I was thinking about him – just a kinkier, toppier version of him. This is what’s so cool about sexual fantasy as an arousal tool: you can imagine anyone you want, doing anything you want. My vanilla fuck-pal might never call me a “good girl” or spank me as hard as I like it, but I can experience that in my fantasies to my heart’s content… and maybe one of these days, I’ll get him to dom me IRL, too.

• Fisting drifts in and out my fantasy life a lot. I think I’m drawn to it more for reasons of emotional intimacy than physical satisfaction. Much like anal sex, I’d only want to engage in this taboo act with a highly trusted partner – and I’m sure it would be amazing if I was able to open myself up to it, figuratively and literally.

Sexcetera

• Holy hell, you guys. My threesome with Bex and our anonymous gentleman friend was so fantastic. No disrespect to my previous threesome compadres, but this one was easily my favorite of the three ménages I’ve been in. It was basically an amalgamation of all my favorite elements of sex: blowjobs, fingerbanging, sex toys, spanking, makeouts, and gigglin’ up a storm. When we were all fucked out, we ordered Mexican food, pigged out, and then crawled into bed for an all-night three-way cuddle pile. It was truly a perfect night. And – get this – we might be able to reprise it when all three of us are in the same city for a few days in July. (Shh… Bex and I haven’t pitched this plan to our dude-pal yet. But I have a feeling he’ll be down…)

• Mid-May brought Smut in the 6ix, an all-day porn extravaganza featuring panels, screenings and performances. It was so much fun! I got to meet fellow sex bloggers, listen to smarties talking about their smutty passions, giggle at great porn on the big screen, play music for a crowd, and dance my ass off. I love my community!

• I’ll probably blog about this in more detail at some point, but my sexuality has felt really non-genitally-focused lately. Or at least, not focused on my genitals. I’m sure it’s at least partly because of my sensitivity and libido issues this month, but I’m currently less interested in having my bits stimulated and more interested in doing stuff to other people with my mouth and hands. (“Stone” is a term sometimes used in queer communities to describe people who have sex in this way.) We shall see how this develops…

Femme stuff

• One morning in early May, I was at work and I got a text from my friend Tynan. One of the many things Tynan does professionally is aromatherapy, and she’d had a detailed dream about making an aromatherapeutic blend specifically for me. She described the dream-blend to me – lemongrass for repelling negativity, pink grapefruit for a deeper connection to my body, and rose for self-compassion – and I thought it sounded totally blissful, so she said she’d make it for me IRL. I’ve been wearing it every day, a drop on the collar of my shirt or dress, and I looooove it. It’s femme but feisty, just like me, and it makes me feel so calm and happy!

• I bought a teal skater dress at a Forever 21 in the Mall of America in Minnesota last month, and I’ve been absolutely thrashing it lately. Yay for clothes that are easy to just throw on and go, and still look kinda fancy!

Bex is such a huge influence on my brain and my life; why not my aesthetic, too? I admired the quirky/queer/kinky vibe of all the sex-positive pins grouped together on their leather jacket, so I adorned my own jacket in pins when I got home from Minneapolis. It looks preeeeeetty damn good.

What things made your month magical, my darlings?