Dildoface: Leoweenie

Happy Halloween, cuties! It’s time for another Dildoface video, wherein I do makeup inspired by a vibrant, beautiful sex toy. This time around, my face is an ode to none other than the only Halloween-themed dildo in my collection: the limited-edition “Batcock” version of the Vixen Creations Leo!

I hope you enjoy this goth-y smoky eye and bright orange lip, and that you consider rocking it at a Halloween event or two…


Products used: Too Faced Shadow InsuranceMAC eyeshadow in “Soft Brown” • various Morphe eyeshadows • Maybelline gel eyelinerSmashbox pore-minimizing primerCoverGirl 3-in-1 foundationMAC Pro Longwear concealerMake Up For Ever HD Microfinish powderNYX blush in “Taupe”ELF baked highlighter in “Moonlight Pearls” • Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade in “Dark Brown” • Clinique eyeshadow in “Sugar Sugar” (discontinued long ago!) • Colourpop lip pencil in “Rocket” • Maybelline Color Sensational Vivids lipstick in “Electric Orange”

You can buy the Vixen Leo at SheVibe! It’s pretty wonderful; read my review here.


What are you wearing on your face (and on the rest of you) for Halloween this year?!

The Best and Worst Toys of 2013

It’s that time, folks! Here are my favorite and least favorite toys I reviewed this year (some of which actually launched this year, some of which didn’t)…

Best G-spot dildo: Without a doubt, the Jopen Key Comet Wand. This silicone/glass hybrid launched early in the year and knocked the socks off most sex toy reviewers who tried it, myself included. It produces shockingly intense G-spot sensations and looks gorgeous all the while. (Available at PinkCherry, Sex Toys Canada, and Early to Bed.)

Best glass dildo: The SSA Glass Royal Adventure. Glass toys can be hit-or-miss, because a shitty design can make for a very uncomfortable or even painful toy – but the Royal Adventure suffers from none of these issues. Its corkscrew-like texture massages my vaginal walls and its slightly bulging head feels lovely on my G-spot. (Sadly no longer available; these are similar: Icicles no. 5, Mr. Swirly, Pink Swirled Delight.)

Best realistic dildo: The VixSkin Maverick. I finally got around to trying this one after worrying for months about whether or not my vagina would be able to accommodate it, and I surprised myself with my vaginal proficiency! The Maverick is an ultra-satisfying monster of a dildo, with a G-spot-pleasing mega-sized coronal ridge. It wears well in a harness, too! (Available at Lovehoney.)

Best vibrator: The Lelo Mona 2. I haven’t reviewed this one yet, but it was, without a doubt, the best vibrator of the year. Strong, rumbly, rechargeable, waterproof, quiet, versatile, elegant, and ergonomic. If you can only afford one vibrator, get this one. (Available at PinkCherry, Sex Toys Canada, and Lovehoney.)

Best sex toy innovation: The Fun Factory Stronic Eins. There are no other toys on the market that pulsate like the Stronic line, though I’m sure there will be by this time next year, given the success of these toys. The Stronic Eins is the ultimate in lazy masturbation and is a dream come true for folks who fantasize about PIV sex. And it comes in an obnoxiously bright pink hue. (Available at Sex Toys Canada, Early to Bed and Lovehoney.)

Best kink implement: The Tantus silicone paddles. My favorite is the Wham Bam but you’ll get a rollicking good time out of any one of them. (Available at Tantus, PinkCherry and Lovehoney.)

Worst dildo: Indubitably the Joyful Pleasures Joyful Plant. I requested it knowing I wouldn’t like it, and naturally, I didn’t. I mean, it’s shaped like a tiny eggplant. At least now I have a cool story to tell when people ask me about the weirdest toy I’ve ever reviewed. (No longer available; try the rest of the Joyful Pleasures line at PinkCherry.)

Worst vibrator: It was a bad year for vibrators. Very few high-end (i.e. body-safe and rechargeable or electric) vibes launched, and those that did were mostly shitty. But the ones I hated most out of all the vibes I reviewed this year were the Leaf Spirit and Fun Factory LayaSpot. They were too weak to get me off, and I didn’t like their color schemes much either. (Leaf Spirit available at Sex Toys Canada. Fun Factory LayaSpot available at Sex Toys Canada and Lovehoney.)

Worst butt toy: The Something Forbidden plug. Literally one of the worst toys I have ever reviewed, in terms of safety and design. My butt still fears it. (Available at PinkCherry and Lovehoney.)

Worst sex toy innovation: Another one I haven’t reviewed yet – the Lelo Ida. You’ll have to wait for my full review to come out, but for now, just know that I literally screamed in pain the first time I used it. (Available at PinkCherry and Sex Toys Canada.)

Worst kink implement: The Sportsheets Doggie-Style Strap. I’m sure it would be useful for some folks, but my boyfriend and I got no benefit out of it whatsoever. I might try to work it into a future outfit as a pink cummerbund. (Available at PinkCherry and Sex Toys Canada.)

Aaaand that’s a wrap! I’m going to take a little blogging break until the new year, methinks – and then I’ll be back with more sex toy reviews and sexual musings in 2014!

What were your favorite (and least favorite) toys of the year? What do you hope to see next year?

Review: Vixen Creations Leo

Happy Halloween, nerds!!!

The Vixen Creations Leo is undeniably one of my favorite dildos ever – and not just because mine happens to be a limited-edition “Batcock.” No, this would be a marvelous dildo even if it wasn’t bright orange and emblazoned with spooky flying bats. (Although, come on, that is pretty cool.)

Leo is the perfect size for my vag. It’s 1 ½" wide at the bulge of the head and a teensy bit narrower through the shaft, and it’s 7" long. Stunning. Stellar. Fabulous. Flawless.

Its head is only slightly defined, but there is a wrinkly faux-foreskin where the head meets the shaft that is really the crowning glory of Leo. When I describe the texture, it might not sound great – it’s slightly scratchy, a little bit rough – but it is harmless and actually weirdly pleasurable. You need lube, of course, but Leo’s foreskin produces a texture-fuelled feeling unlike any other dildo I own, and that’s pretty nifty.

Vixen’s regular silicone may not be quite as terrific as their well-loved VixSkin material, but it’s pretty damn good as far as silicone formulations go. It’s the perfect meeting point between squishy and firm. (I’m using the word “perfect” a lot in this review, have you noticed? Damn…)

I like to use Leo as a warm-up dildo when I’m planning on transitioning to something huge – but it’s obviously excellent in its own right. When I have my monthly craving for realistic dildos, Leo is always included in that desire, because its shape and size are just simply the epitome of an ideal cock.

Fun facts about Leo:

1. If you’ve ever seen a porn scene starring Roger Wood, you’ve probably seen the Leo. He’s used it in every scene I’ve seen him in, and it seems to perform astonishingly well in a strap-on.

2. It shares a name with Harry Connick Jr.’s character on Will & Grace, so if you’ve ever had a crush on that dude, you can go to town with fantasies while using this toy. (Do you like my extremely dated TV reference? I spend too much time watching old DVD box sets, evidently.)

3. MINE HAS BATS ON IT. BATS! But also, you can get it in purple or black these days, and Vixen’s silicone has a kind of sparkly/twinkly quality to it, so those colors are gorgeous, not boring. Pinky-swear.

In conclusion: buy a Leo. It will make your orifice(s) happy.

This review wasn’t sponsored by anyone, I just thought you should have something nice and spooky to read on Halloween. Kisses!

Review: Vixen Creations Maverick

I ordered the VixSkin Maverick impulsively one night when I was having a major craving for girthy silicone cock.

This is not usually something I crave. Ordinarily I stick with my moderately-sized toys and they fill up my smallish pussy pretty well. But lately I’ve been wanting to push my vagina’s boundaries – not just because bigger toys are starting to feel good to me, but also because I don’t want to be limited as a sex toy reviewer.

So, I bought the Maverick. And I kind of love it.

Maverick is made of a material called VixSkin that you may have heard me rave about before (and again, and again). It’s dual-density silicone, meaning that it’s firm on the inside and squishy on the outside.

There are basically two camps of people, those who prefer O2 and those who prefer VixSkin, and your preference will depend on whether your orifices like toys that are soft and squishy (VixSkin) or relatively firm (O2). Personally, I lean toward the former group, but it really depends on my mood.

The Maverick is 2″ in diameter. That’s pretty fucking girthy. I was expecting pain or a lengthy warm-up process, but actually, the first time I inserted my Maverick, I experienced neither. I lubed it up, slowly slid it in, and was pain-free the whole time. Hallelujah.

The secret to Maverick being so comfortable is, of course, its squishiness. I would say that a 2″-wide VixSkin dildo feels more like 1 ½”-wide firmer dildo – so keep that in mind, whether you love that stretched-out feeling or would rather avoid it at all costs.

Maverick’s head is big and exaggerated. Its coronal ridge juts way out, and is followed by another ridge that’s meant to look like a retracted foreskin. That’s some significant and hella noticeable texture, and it feels highly pleasurable and realistic.

Maverick’s girth and shape allow it to feel good even when I’m not moving it. The head pushes against my G-spot while I clench my muscles or even while I’m holding still. I am not a squirter (yet?) but I’m sure this toy could make me squirt if I was. The G-spot pressure is that intense.

The base is a suction cup. Maverick looks funny and awesome when firmly attached to my shower wall. One time I forgot it in there by accident, and had to run back and grab it before anyone else used that bathroom. That story isn’t really important information to include in a review, I guess. Oh well.

One night, I had my boyfriend put on my RodeoH harness and fuck me with the Maverick. It was fantastic, even though my boyfriend has zero experience using a strap-on. The dildo stayed in place really well and we had no issues, even though we were fucking pretty hard. (Also, can I get a round of applause for my boyfriend for being secure enough in his masculinity to strap on an enormous dildo and use it on me?!)

To sum up, the Maverick is a dildo I would wholeheartedly recommend to seasoned size queens as well as SQs-in-training. It’s well-designed, high-quality, and makes me feel lucky to have a G-spot.

My Love Affair with the VixSkin Mustang

The Mustang dildo by Vixen Creations has a formidable following. People rave about it. As one of the only Vixen dildos with manageably average measurements, it’s a very popular choice. After deciding I needed to own something made of VixSkin, it wasn’t long before I set my sights on the Mustang.

But for the first month or so after I got it, I wasn’t that impressed with it. “The VixSkin Mustang is too squishy and floppy to rub my G-spot the way I like,” I wrote in my initial review. And it was true – up until that point, my G-spot had only really been exposed to firm silicone, glass, steel, and hard plastic. To use a metaphor: if you’ve been blasting Led Zeppelin all your life, you’re unlikely to be too impressed by Vivaldi when you first start listening to his delicate compositions. But give it a while, and you might come around.

That’s what happened to me. I kept trying and trying to make the Mustang work for me, because it’s an expensive toy and I didn’t want it to go to waste… and after some time, I grew to like it. And then I grew to love it.

As far as realistic dildos go, it’s hard to find one more perfect than the Mustang. It’s non-porous and body-safe, has a killer G-spot curve and ultra-stimulating coronal ridge, flares comfortably in diameter to its widest spot at the bottom of the shaft, and isn’t so realistic as to look creepy. (Well, it creeps my boyfriend out a little, but that’s okay, he’s not the one shoving it inside of him.)

The VixSkin Mustang has surprised me by becoming one of my go-to dildos – so much that I find myself lusting after it in the new “fluoro-green” color even though I already have one. When you wish you owned more than one of the same toy, that’s a pretty dependable sign that it’s a keeper.