Review: We-Vibe Melt

I’ve been hearing about the We-Vibe Melt for years, and recently finally got to try one, thanks to my pals at Honeysx. Read on for my thoughts!

 

What is the We-Vibe Melt?

The We-Vibe Melt is a pressure-wave clitoral stimulator, meaning that it encloses the clitoris in its little mouth and uses pulses of air to “touchlessly” stimulate the clitoral head and shaft. Some people report that pressure waves feel like oral sex; for me, they certainly feel more similar to oral than vibration does, but overall the sensation is more like rhythmic tapping, or like getting head from a robot.

As with most We-Vibe products, this one is specifically designed to be useable during penetrative partnered sex. It has a slim profile and an ergonomic shape that allows it to slip between bodies fairly easily, even in (a slightly adjusted version of) missionary position. This is a big benefit of this toy for me, because my all-time favorite pressure-wave stimulator, the Lelo Sila, is way too bulky and awkward to use in this way.

Also as with most We-Vibe products, this one is rechargeable, waterproof, can be controlled via a smartphone app or its built-in buttons, and has a 2-year warranty. Score.

 

How does it feel?

I am always pretty skeptical about trying new pressure-wave toys, because I have to put them on the most sensitive part of my entire body without first knowing if they’re going to be massively overstimulating, which they often are. In general I would recommend getting yourself turned on before using a toy like this, for the same reason that it can be nice for a partner to kiss your thighs, lick around your genitals, etc. before going for the gold.

Warm-up is especially recommended because this toy is quite a bit rumblier/”thumpier” than most other toys of its type. This is great news overall but can make the toy feel somewhat jarring if you try to use it before you’re turned on. That said, because of its deep rumbliness, I find that this toy works better than most for teasing myself through my clitoral hood or inner labia. By holding the toy’s “mouth” against either of those areas, I can still feel the rhythmic thumping being transmitted to my clit, but it’s not as direct and intense as it would be if I put it directly on the tip of my clit.

Another thing that sets this toy apart from others is its oval-shaped mouth. Of course, all clits are different, but some people might find that this oval shape helps them get a better seal around their clit, allowing for better, stronger stimulation. It’s got a little flexibility to it, so you could even manually pinch it closed with the hand that’s not holding the toy, if you wanted firmer pressure and a tighter seal, though that’s not necessary.

The first day that I tested this toy, I got off with it 3 times over the course of the day, which is highly unusual for me. A lot of people say they’re more able to have multiple orgasms with pressure-wave toys because the stimulation is gentle/indirect enough that it doesn’t leave them feeling oversensitized after climax. I can see how this would be an advantage for some people, but for myself personally, I find that orgasms from pressure-wave toys don’t tend to be as satisfying as other types of orgasms, which is why I end up going for multiples a lot of the time. I just don’t get off as hard with these as I do when there’s a great vibrator or oscillator pressed against my clitoral hood. Adding penetration helps, but still, I would never grab this type of toy if I wanted a world-destroying, “what the fuck just happened?!” kind of orgasm. For me, these toys are more suitable for mid-day wank breaks, when I want to release some tension and some endorphins without necessarily derailing my whole day.

That said, just because the orgasms aren’t terribly satisfying doesn’t mean the toy isn’t pleasurable. It definitely is. This is one of the more pleasurable pressure-wave toys I’ve tried – certainly in my top 3 – because of how rumbly it is. It stimulates the entire visible portion of the clitoris and some of the non-visible portion as well. Paired with porn, erotica, or fantasies, it can take me from zero to orgasm in a matter of minutes. And while the orgasms aren’t satisfying, they are still enjoyable and often intense, particularly when I incorporate penetration.

 

Mouth size comparison: Lelo Sila (purple), We-Vibe Melt (coral), and Satisfyer Curvy 2+ (pale peach)

Useability & things to keep in mind

As the Dildoodler points out in their excellent Melt review, there just isn’t nearly as much info out there about clitoral size as there is about penis size. (I just looked it up, and the search terms “clit size,” “clitoral size” and “clitoris size” bring up a collective 462,000 results; meanwhile, “penis size” and “dick size” bring up a total of 15 MILLION results. That’s roughly a 32-to-1 ratio in terms of the amount of information that’s out there.) As a result of this info gap, a lot of people with clits would have no idea how to rank their own clit size in relation to the average. Hell, it’s hard to even measure a clit, especially since there’s so little education out there about the clitoral shaft and the fact that the clitoris swells with arousal like the penis does.

All this to say, it can be difficult to choose a pressure wave toy that will fit your clit the way you want it to, both because most of us don’t know our clit size off the top of our head and because most sex toy companies are not advertising their clitoral toys on the basis of what sizes they will fit. So let’s envision a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the smallest “mouth” I’ve ever seen on this type of toy, and 10 is the large mouth of the Lelo Sila, which can fit my ring finger and pinky finger simultaneously up to the first knuckle. On that scale, I’d put the We-Vibe Melt at a 6 or so. Its oval shape and the softly rounded edges of its mouth make it feel more accommodating than tiny toys that focus only on the very very tip of my clit (which I hate), but it’s definitely not big enough to surround my entire fully-aroused clitoral shaft like the Sila is. For this reason, I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone who knows they have a large clit (which I imagine would include most folks who’ve been on testosterone long enough to experience bottom growth). The Sila or Satisfyer Curvy 2+ are still my top recommendations for larger clits.

The Melt is quiet compared to almost all the other pressure-wave toys I’ve tried. I didn’t worry about my roommate or neighbors hearing me when I used it at 2 a.m. one night, for example. It’s not silent – none of these toys really are, because of their suction-inspired mechanism – but if you put on some music or white noise in the background, or use it in the bath with the water running, no one should be able to hear you in other rooms.

The buttons are placed exactly where I would want them to be for this type of toy; they’re located where my fingers naturally end up when I hold the toy in the comfiest way for my hand. They click and light up when pressed, so you always know when you’ve hit a button successfully – and they’re marked with raised “plus” and “minus” signs so you can find them quickly in the dark and likely won’t press them by accident.

The Melt is currently available in two colors, an orangey-pinky-coral shade (pictured) and a deep, sexy midnight blue. I appreciate these because neither shade feels especially gendered to me. I have heard many transmasculine folks mention that they like using pressure-wave toys as blowjob simulators, so it’s nice when companies offer colorways that don’t scream femininity. I also, in researching this review, stumbled across at least one trans woman who mentioned she enjoyed this toy; not quite sure what her preferred technique was but I think this toy could potentially feel nice against the frenulum of the penis.

Oh yeah, there’s an app

The We-Vibe app can be used to wirelessly control most We-Vibe toys, including this one. It gives you more detailed control over the toy’s intensity at any given moment, and allows you to create your own pressure-wave patterns to try out. It also lets your long-distance sweetie take over control of the toy from afar if they are so inclined.

The reason I’m mentioning this only as an afterthought is that We-Vibe toys’ connectivity still isn’t where I’d like it to be. Compared to other Bluetooth-focused companies like Lovense and Satisfyer, We-Vibe still struggles to make toys that 1) connect easily to their app, 2) stay connected for the entire duration of the session, and 3) respond to changes made in the app within a reasonable timeframe. For this reason, I almost never use We-Vibe’s Bluetooth functionality anymore when I use their toys; it usually ends up being more annoying than pleasurable.

 

Final thoughts

Having tried as many pressure-wave toys as I have, I can almost always perceive big differences between cheap ones and premium ones. High-quality stimulators tend to feel pleasurable right off the bat (if I’m turned on), instead of requiring that I acclimatize myself to intense surface-level tapping on the very tip of my clit. They tend to feel nicer in my hand and on my bits. They tend to be quieter, sleeker, and more durable. The We-Vibe Melt performs like a high-end pressure-wave toy, because, at $122, it is.

If you’re curious about this type of toy and have that kind of cash to burn, I think you’d likely be very happy with the Melt, provided that it fits your clit (and it should fit most of them). But if $122 is a bit of a stretch for you, I’d suggest trying a less expensive pressure-wave toy first to see whether you even like the sensation, and then upgrading when and if you want to and are able to.

If, on the other hand, you already know you like pressure-wave sensations and you want to upgrade to a high-quality product, I think the We-Vibe Melt is a wonderful contender for people whose clits are medium-sized or smaller. And if you know you want oral-like sensations on your clit while a partner is fucking you with their dick or strap-on, this is probably the best one you’re gonna find for that purpose.

I’ve loved We-Vibe for many years, and once again, they have exceeded my expectations.

 

Thanks to Honeysx for sending me this product to review! This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write an honest and fair review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

12 Days of Girly Juice 2021: 9 Best New Sex Toys

Well, it’s that time again: today I’m going to tell you about my favorite 9 sex toys I acquired this year! In reverse order, here we go…

 

Image via SheVibe

9. Chakrubs The Original Heart rose quartz dildo

Available at SheVibe ($159.99)

I was sent this toy by the good folks at SheVibe as part of my research for an article I wrote for them on dildo materials other than silicone. In perusing their site, I realized that I’d tried almost all of these materials – glass, metal, ceramic – but had yet to try one of these crystal dildos, which are beloved by the Goop crowd, among others. This one is made of rose quartz, which is believed (by people who believe in such things) to help cultivate self-love and self-compassion, something I could definitely use some help with from time to time.

To my surprise, I ended up really enjoying this toy. The smooth shape of it makes it feel luxurious and gentle when well-lubed, even if I’m not super turned on yet. The slim end can nudge my A-spot on every thrust. The girth is satisfying but not overpowering. And the cool, smooth feeling of the rose quartz is soothing and calming, as you would hope a dildo oriented toward spiritual self-love would be.

There’s some debate in the sex toy community about whether crystal dildos are actually any good (it has been posited that they are porous and also bad for the environment). I don’t know enough about the material and its harvesting process to make a fair assessment of that, but I know I haven’t had any vaginal issues from using my Chakrubs toy. It’s definitely not something I reach for every week or even every month, but when I’m craving a woo-woo experience that’s focused on self-adoration, this is the toy for the job.

 

Image via Lovense

8. Lovense Max 2 stroker

Available at Lovense ($99.00)

I had heard about Lovense for years because of their toys’ proliferation in the webcam performer community, but this year I finally got to try some for myself, as research for various articles on long-distance toys.

The Max 2 is their vibrating stroker, and it does some wild stuff. It pairs a textured sleeve with powerful vibrations, and on top of that, it can also mimic vaginal contractions by rhythmically squeezing your dick while it’s in there.

Best of all, it can be used with Lovense’s robust and reliable Bluetooth technology, so I can control a long-distance partner’s pleasure from far away. My spouse and I used this toy a lot this year while we were separated by distance, but also sometimes when we weren’t, because the interface on Lovense’s app allows me to stroke their cock the way I want to without actually using my hands – something I appreciate as a person who deals with pain and strength issues in my hands at times.

My partner often has super intense orgasms with this toy. We’ve found the Max 2 particularly fun to use as part of chastity play – it’s a wonderful way to give them the release they’ve earned after a week or more in chastity. But it’s also just a fantastic stroker for day-to-day usage. Well done, Lovense!

 

7. Balldo

Available at SheVibe ($79.00)

As I noted in my review, the Balldo really surprised me. I mean, it’s a silicone apparatus that slips over your balls and turns them into a dildo you can fuck someone with. How good could it really be?

Pretty good, it turns out. And certainly unique. While getting it on is a struggle, and it’s prone to slipping out once you actually get it into somebody, it works so well for us when it’s working. My partner’s able to achieve the “ballgasms” promised by the toy, and I’m able to enjoy the utter weirdness of the whole situation, alongside the hotness of seeing/hearing/feeling my partner experiencing a whole new type of pleasure.

If you’re dating/fucking someone who is open to adventure and has a good sense of humor, I think this could be a good gift for them. Or at least a gift they won’t soon forget.

 

Image via SheVibe

6. Dee Lee Doo Boa wenge hardwood dildo

Available at SheVibe ($139.00)

This is a newer acquisition for me, and I’m loving it so far. There just aren’t that many companies out there making body-safe wooden sex toys (NobEssence is the most notable one), so I’m always glad to see new makers popping up on the scene.

I picked this toy over another Dee Lee Doo toy (the G-spot-focused Habu) because I thought it’d be able to hit my A-spot, and I was right. The length and shape of this toy are absolutely perfect for hitting that spot, whether I’m handling it myself or giving control over to a partner.

I like that wood is such a lightweight material, because it’s still easy for me to manipulate when I’m having a flare-up of pain or fatigue. It’s also hard without being overwhelmingly hard like metal and glass can be, making it an especially good pick for hitting a spot that simultaneously craves firm pressure and needs some gentleness. I hope to see more from this company in the new year!

 

Image via the London Tanners

5. The London Tanners Domestic Discipline Strap

Available at the London Tanners (€119.00 or about $134 USD)

My partner bought me this gorgeous leather strap as a gift after we saw spanking aficionado Princess Kelley May rave about it in a video. I don’t think I’d ever been spanked with a strap before, and it’s been wonderful getting to know that new sensation!

This is such a stunning product, “hand-crafted from beginning to end” by expert leatherworkers. I love the way it feels, both in my hand and on my ass.

As Kelley May points out in the video linked above, this strap is initially somewhat firm and inflexible but will soften with use. Right now, mine is still in the firm stage, so it feels more like a leather paddle – stingy with a side of thud. I’m looking forward to feeling what it feels like when it’s softened up a bit.

 

Image via Lovense

4. Lovense Edge 2 prostate massager

Available at Lovense ($99.00)

Another Lovense toy?! Yep, they really are that good.

This is another one that gets used exclusively on my partner and not on me – but I love using it on them! It’s a vibrating butt plug with two motors: one for the prostate and one for the perineum. Like the Max 2 above, it can be controlled from a distance using Lovense’s excellent app. Notably, you can control each of the motors separately, which makes it great for (as its name would suggest) edging.

This one is tons of fun to use when my partner is in chastity, because I can give them prostate orgasms even while their cock is in a chastity cage, and even when I’m 500 miles away. Truly amazing.

 

Image via the Pleasure Tailor

3. Easy A dildo

Available from the Pleasure Tailor ($125.00)

What, you thought I wasn’t gonna include the dildo I designed on this list?! Not a chance.

Obviously I love the Easy A because it was designed to meet my needs, as someone who adores deep penetration and also has hand strength issues that benefit from ergonomic sex toy bases. But I really think a lot of people would like this toy. The squishiness of the triple-density silicone is delightful, the bright blue color is swoonworthy, and the shape! Oh, the shape! It’s just exactly what I want an A-spot toy to be shaped like.

I remember the jubilation I felt when I discovered that the deep spot that reliably made me come had a name – and, more importantly, that there were sex toys out there (albeit not very many of them) that could target it efficiently and pleasurably. I’m so glad to have partnered with the folks at the Pleasure Tailor to create an addition to the scant-but-growing selection of A-spot toys on the market!

 

Image via SheVibe

2. We-Vibe Tango X bullet vibrator

Available at SheVibe ($75.05), Peepshow Toys ($79.00), and Come As You Are ($99.00 CAD / about $78 USD)

I get excited every time We-Vibe comes out with a new product, because they are truly one of the best companies in this industry right now. Their toys are well-made, aesthetically pleasing, and (best and most importantly of all) have legendarily good motors.

I was especially excited that they decided to update their classic bullet vibe, the Tango, of which I’d been a long-time fan. This new version, the Tango X, is a massive improvement. It has more speeds, easier charging, a travel lock, a silicone finger grip, and just overall feels like a nicer, better toy than the original Tango.

Since it’s pleasantly rumbly and relatively affordable for a rechargeable vibe of its caliber, this is one of my top recommendations for beginners who are curious about vibrators but don’t know where to start. If you like clitoral/external stimulation, you’d probably like this toy. I certainly do!

 

Image via SheVibe

1. Lelo Sila

Available at SheVibe ($169.00) and Peepshow Toys ($169.99)

When I first received this toy, I did not expect that it would end up becoming one of my favorite toys of the year, and possibly my favorite pressure-wave toy of all time. Lelo is a company known for doing shocking things, often in a bad way – but this toy shocked me in a very good way.

As far as oral sex simulators go, this is the only one I’ve found that encases not just the tip of my clit but also my entire clitoral shaft, an oft-ignored part of clitoral anatomy. It’s like the difference between a tongue swirling around the head of a dick and a full-on deepthroat blowjob. (For that reason, it’s also potentially great for trans men and other transmasculine folks, aside from the twee/feminine-leaning color scheme.)

This toy sets itself apart from other pressure-wave products with its soft aesthetic and thoughtful design (especially those flat “lips,” which help the toy create a good seal around my clit). It’s elegant and well-made. It’s waterproof, so I can take it in the tub for a relaxing wank, featuring oral sex fantasies galore. It’s the one pressure-wave toy I would take with me on a desert island, if for some reason I had to do that. It’s just really damn good and I’m glad I own one.

 

What sex toys did you love most this year?

 

P.S.: Thanks for buying through my affiliate links! When you do so, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you. It’s basically like tipping me for providing such excellent recommendations 😉

Review: Wowyes OYE-030 A7 Sucking Vibrator

I was skeptical about this vibrator. And then it made me come in under 5 minutes, and I was sold.

The Wowyes OYE-030 A7 Sucking Vibrator has, without question, one of the worst names I’ve ever seen in this industry, but despite that, it’s got a lot going for it. It’s a We-Vibe-esque toy that can vibrate against your G-spot while simultaneously applying pressure-wave stimulation (à la Womanizer and Satisfyer) to your clit. It’s covered in silky-smooth silicone and has a little pink flower on its one button – cute.

Despite the similarities between this toy and the We-Vibe Sync, it lacks one of the Sync’s much-discussed features: a bendable “hinge” between the two sections of the toy so you can adjust it to find your preferred spacing and pressure. Ultimately, this is probably for the best – a hinge likely would’ve increased the toy’s price point as it did for the Sync, and when I worked at sex shops, customers accidentally broke our Sync floor models at the hinge so many times that we had to stop leaving floor models out. However, that lack of adjustability means that this Wowyes toy will only work for people who have a clit that’s about 2 inches (or less) from their vaginal opening. Any more than that, and you run the risk of over-bending the toy and/or finding that its nozzle can’t reach your clit.

When testing this toy, I scribbled a frustrated note about the lack of a hinge, but when the toy gave me an orgasm 5 minutes later (I’ll get to that in a second), I started to understand how this was actually a good design choice. Although I love the bendable Sync, it tends to slip out of position periodically as its hinge widens from the pressure of masturbation/sex; the Wowyes toy, on the other hand, stays tightly pressed against my G-spot and clit throughout the session and doesn’t tend to slip out (in part due to the stimulating ridges on the G-spot end). This ultimately results in more satisfying orgasms because the toy maintains pressure on my spots even while my pelvic muscles are rhythmically clenching.

So, how does this toy actually feel? The pressure waves feel like they’re blended with some buzzyish vibration that makes them intense but also slightly numbing after more than a few minutes. The internal vibrations are, similarly, on the buzzier side of the spectrum, but they have a bunch of excellent patterns that somehow negate that for me. The first pattern – rhythmic pulsing at a medium speed – is the one I stay on 90% of the time, because it pairs brilliantly with steady clit stimulation, lending a sense of motion and rhythm to the overall sensation.

The “mouth” is one of the smallest ones I’ve seen, so unfortunately it’s probably not a good pick for people with medium-to-large-sized clits. Normally I don’t like super pinpointed pressure waves, but this toy has a protruding silicone “lip” that runs the perimeter of its mouth and stimulates the area around my clit, as well – the clitoral hood and some of the labia, depending on how my legs are positioned – so it still feels pleasurable to me even though it’s laser-focused on the tip of my clit. Squeezing my thighs together takes the intensity of the buzziness down somewhat, making the pressure waves feel rumblier and like they’re penetrating deeper into my internal clit.

Both functions of this toy have multiple settings and patterns, but to be real with you, in my testing I have rarely ventured past the first or second pressure-wave speed and that first pulsing vibration pattern. They just work too well in tandem for me to want to explore much else beyond what’s necessary to write this review.

Used alongside a fabulous blowjob porn clip, this toy gave me a fast, intense orgasm with its steady clit-sucking portion and those rhythmic vibrations pulsing away against my G-spot. I’ve often found that pressure-wave toys tend to make me come quickly and unsatisfyingly, but something about this toy makes orgasms unexpectedly intense for me. I think it’s the firm pressure against my G-spot (owing to that lack of bendiness in the neck of the toy) and the “lips” surrounding my clit while I come. It’s definitely not as profound and world-altering a sensation as can be provided by something much rumblier, like the Eroscillator or the Tango X, but it’s pretty damn good for a $50 toy. I will say, however, that (uncharacteristically for me) I tend to crave another orgasm just a few minutes after having one with this toy, as if the first one hadn’t quite satisfied me.

The toy’s one button is gratifyingly clicky to push, and its smooth, domed shape is easy to locate by touch in the heat of the moment. After you’ve turned the toy on by holding and pressing the button briefly, hitting it again activates the vibration portion, and double-clicking it activates the pressure-wave portion. You can cycle through each motor’s different modes separately by either single-pressing (vibration) or double-pressing (pressure waves). It seems to me that it would be easy to make mistakes while controlling the toy this way – after all, “double-clicking your mouse” can distract you from any other double-clicking you might be doing – but I actually haven’t screwed up even once while scrolling through this toy’s settings, because the button is so well-designed that each push feels distinctly discernible. Cool.

In any case, it doesn’t matter that much because the toy comes with a little heart-shaped remote (watch battery included). Unlike almost any other toy I’ve tried of this type, the remote arrives pre-paired with the toy, so you don’t have to mess around with Bluetooth settings before playing. The signal even travels through my pants, underwear, and closed thighs. Neat! I wish the remote was a little more substantial-feeling – it’s light and feels cheap, reminding me of some kind of knockoff Sailor Moon children’s toy – but for a product that only costs $49.50, I find it impressive that they included a functioning remote at all. Remote-controllability also tends to make toys more accessible for disabled folks – always a plus.

The remote would be especially great for the toy’s main intended purpose: enhancing partnered intercourse. Much like the We-Vibe, it’s designed to be worn vaginally while a partner penetrates you with their penis or strap-on. I did not try it this way because my partner is 500 miles away right now (boooo), but I imagine it would be passable-but-not-amazing for that purpose. Whereas something like the We-Vibe benefits from the friction and motion of a partner, rubbing its vibrations all over your clitoral area with every thrust, pressure-wave toys comparatively tend to need to stay in one spot in order to maintain their suction on your clit and keep feeling good. That’s especially true when a toy has a nozzle as small as this one has. I think PIV would jostle it off its target too often for it to really feel good, but hey, feel free to prove me wrong.

This toy definitely doesn’t work as well for me in the absence of porn to watch. Granted, that’s true for a lot of toys, but I think this one in particular really benefits from mental stimulation; on its own, it’s a little too buzzy to really feel impactful, but when porn is arousing my brain, the toy’s sensations feel amped up and make me come easily.

Sadly, this toy is pretty loud, especially the clitoral portion. It quiets down when it’s actually sucking my clit, or when it’s pressed tight between my closed legs, but it gets noisy if I try to reposition it. Not a huge deal for me, but certainly not ideal for people who need to keep their toy usage on the down-low.

Overall, I’m really impressed with the Wowyes OYE-030 A7 Sucking Vibrator, and will probably keep it in my regular rotation for those days when I just want to get off fast. Its remote works better than any I’ve tried, it stimulates both my G-spot and clit surprisingly well, and it’s cute as fuck. Assuming it fits your anatomy and you can deal with the loudness and lack of flexibility – and that you like mild clitoral suction and rhythmic G-spot vibration – I think it’s a perfectly viable toy to spend $49.50 on. Its name is the worst thing about it, and if you know the sex toy industry, you know that that’s a backhanded compliment but a compliment nonetheless.

 

Thanks to the folks at Honeysx for sending me this toy to try! This post was sponsored, which means I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product.

Reviews: We-Vibe Tango X, Satisfyer Curvy 3+, & Lelo Smart Wand 2

I was sent these three toys recently while researching some pieces for the Insider about the best sex toys for couples and long-distance play. Here’s what I thought of each!

We-Vibe Tango X

I’ve long been loud about how much I love the original We-Vibe Tango. It has most of the qualities I’d ever want in a clitoral vibe: small, rumbly, powerful, firm, versatile, quiet, and waterproof. But it was missing a few key features – namely, it lacked a travel lock, had only one button you had to use to scroll through all 8 modes, and had a notoriously bad battery that was finicky as hell to charge and would tend to die completely after 1-3 years of use. Hence me owning several Tangos in my time.

The new Tango X has fixed all of those issues: We-Vibe added buttons for navigating between settings, provided a travel-lock option, and equipped the toy with a better battery that charges more easily. They also added an ergonomic silicone finger grip, something I hadn’t known I wanted but that makes the toy a lot easier for me to use on bad hand pain days.

The vibe is just as rumbly and strong as it ever was, albeit with more steady vibration settings to choose from so the jumps between settings don’t feel as abrupt as they used to. The addition of extra buttons, in particular, makes this toy much less annoying to use during partnered sex, because I don’t have to scroll through aaaaall the settings to get back to my fave, thus interrupting the action with some ill-timed vibration patterns. I’ve used the Tango X with my partner several times now and it is even more intuitive and well-suited to partnered-sex applications than it used to be, plus it remains a trusted choice for masturbation, whether I’m pairing it with a dildo or using the Tango X on its own.

I find it impressive that We-Vibe managed to keep the Tango X relatively affordable – $75 at time of writing – despite all these upgrades. (Canadians, that’s about $99 for us.) It remains an absolute staple in my toy collection, and because it has such rumbly and variable vibrations, I think it’d make a great gift for any vulva-possessing person in your life who has expressed wanting a clitoral vibrator but doesn’t quite know what to look for. Bravo, We-Vibe – bravo!

Satisfyer Curvy 3+

This ultra-sleek pressure-wave toy looks to me like something a grown-up Regina George might use. It’s cool, modern, and ergonomic as hell.

I was interested in the Curvy 3+ because Satisfyer gave me its predecessor, the Curvy 2+, back at ANME, and I loved it more than I expected to. The softly rounded edges of the “mouth” made it more comfortable around my clit than a lot of its pointier-edged counterparts, it had a broad range of settings and patterns, and its shape and matte silicone made it easy to hold onto, even when lube got involved. The “handle” end also vibrates and is insertable, incase you want to switch back and forth between clit stimulation and G-spot vibration – great if you’re travelling and don’t have access to other toys, I guess – but I didn’t end up using that feature much because, well, I own many, many dildos that feel better than the Curvy 2+’s handle.

That said, after trying the updated 3+ version, I actually prefer the earlier one! The 3+ has a flatter design that feels less sexy and more clinical in my hand somehow, and consequently its insertable end is also slimmer and less satisfying; it pokes my G-spot rather than filling me up. Most crucially, the “mouth” of the 3+ is smaller, shallower, and has less rounded-off edges, whereas the 2+ has a mouth that’s a good 0.1″ wider and 0.2″ deeper – which may not sound like much, but can make a big difference for a clitoral pressure-wave toy. I can fit a significant amount of my hooded clit into the Curvy 2+, but pretty much only the tip will comfortably fit into the 3+ and generally I have to pull back my hood a bit (yowch!) to even accomplish that much. The 2+’s mouth also has those gently rounded edges that make it much comfier to use, even when I’m pressing the toy firmly against my body.

Satisfyer’s app functionality is worth mentioning here, because it’s really fucking good. Like Lovense toys, Satisfyer toys connect quickly to their corresponding app and are super responsive when you’re controlling them that way. My partner and I have found my Satisfyer Curvy 2+ useful when we’re 500 miles apart but they want to “go down on me”; short of hiring a cunnilingually gifted sex worker and whispering instructions into their ear via audio call, the Satisfyer app is the closest my partner can get to performing oral on me when they can’t actually put their mouth on me.

While I’m sure some people will appreciate the aesthetic updates and functional differences of the Satisfyer Curvy 3+ versus its predecessors in the Curvy line, it’s the Curvy 2+ that has captured my heart (and my clit’s heart, if it had one), and that’s the one I’ll be reaching for more often in the future.

Lelo Smart Wand 2

Obligatory caveats about Lelo: ethically, they are… not great. They hired a domestic abuser as their spokesperson despite abuse survivors’ outcries against this, produced condoms that seem like a health hazard, sued We-Vibe in a vindictive act of patent-trolling, and released a sex toy excusively for male bankers (????), among other things.

While I do think their products have had a sharp decline in quality over the past decade or so, their Smart Wand line is a rare diamond in the rough, IMO – albeit with some problems of its own. I loved my original Smart Wand, although later it betrayed me by dying after only a year. No matter what I did to try to recharge and revive it, it was simply dead, dead, dead. I was just outside of Lelo’s 1-year warranty period so the best they would’ve done for me is provide me with a 50% discount code to buy another one, which – given how quickly the first one had perished – seemed risky and futile.

When I was at ANME in early 2020, I saw a new version of the Smart Wand on display which was bright turquoise (or “aqua,” according to Lelo). This exact shade is one of my favorite colors ever – in fact, I’m currently typing on a computer whose hard-shell case and keyboard cover are both the same color as my Smart Wand 2 – so I ached for it on those grounds alone. Later I asked Lelo for one, and it is just as glorious a hue as I remembered.

I’m not actually sure what’s different about the Smart Wand 2 versus the original Smart Wand; it’s been too long for me to remember and Lelo’s product copy is annoyingly unclear on this point. I do know that a lot of people reported mechanical issues with the original Smart Wand, most notably that sometimes the vibrations would jump around erratically, suddenly ramping up to a high setting or dropping to a low setting without users’ consent. This glitch was mostly reported as happening on the toy’s highest settings – and unfortunately, some reviewers say the Smart Wand 2 has the same issue.

I personally haven’t experienced this glitch, and didn’t experience it with the original Smart Wand, which suggests to me that maybe I use this vibe differently than the folks who noticed this problem. Pressure is often a culprit when vibes glitch out, but I’ve experimented with various amounts of pressure while using the Smart Wand 2 and still haven’t encountered that particular glitch (though I do notice that the vibe tends to get a bit weaker when you press it into your body, as often happens with vibrators). 🤷🏻‍♀️ Your mileage may vary, and purchase at your own risk!

I actually kind of love the Smart Wand 2, I’m somewhat ashamed to say. It’s gorgeous, smooth, and glamorous. Its handle has an ergonomic curved shape that I find useful when I massage my neck and shoulders with it. It’s reasonably quiet for a wand vibe, especially on the lower end of its intensity levels, and gets very strong and rumbly when you want it to. It’s also 100% waterproof, something that used to not matter as much to me in wand vibes but that matters enormously to me now that I live with chronic pain and thus do some of my best relaxin’ and wankin’ in the tub.

But despite all its glamour and strength, the Smart Wand 2 does have some problems. The buttons annoy me at least once every time I use it; Lelo has a bad habit of designing toys with buttons that somehow seem both oversensitive and undersensitive, sometimes requiring multiple presses to go to the next setting and sometimes skipping a few settings with just one press. I also find that the “+,” “–,” and “pattern” buttons are pretty indiscernible from one another when you’ve got your eyes closed or are using the toy in the dark, so I’ve accidentally started a vibration pattern many times when I meant to hit the “+” button instead, potentially ruining or losing my impending orgasm.

I’m also not especially fond of the rounded head. It works well for muscle massage, but one of the reasons I love my Magic Wand Rechargeable is that it has a more squarish shape so I can use its head’s edges/”corners” to produce a more focused, pinpointed sensation on my clit than the broad roundness the Smart Wand 2 allows for. However, if you like all-over vulva vibration, that won’t be an issue for you.

The Lelo Smart Wand 2 costs a whopping $199, and as stunning and seductive as it is, I don’t think it’s really worth that amount of money, especially when you can get a more dependable Magic Wand Rechargeable for just $130, or We-Vibe’s Wand (which is fully waterproof like the Smart Wand) for $170. The Smart Wand 2 reminds me of a beautiful but erratic socialite – and while that kind of person is fun to spend a night with once in a while, generally I’d rather come home to a reliable sweetheart like my Magic Wand.

 

Thanks to We-Vibe, Satisfyer, and Lelo for sending me these toys to try! Have you used any of these? What did you think?

Review: We-Vibe Touch X

I actually shrieked at my screen when my sex toy reviewer pal Epiphora told our blogger group chat that We-Vibe was launching newly updated versions of the We-Vibe Tango and Touch. It was that exciting.

See, this duo of vibes has long been revered as some of the absolute best in the biz, but they’ve also always had problems that made them hard to recommend without reservations. Charging and battery life were the most egregious issues; I would get several emails a year from readers who loved their Tango but found that it kept dying prematurely, or wouldn’t charge right. As for me, I’ve owned at least 4 different Tangos over the years because mine kept biting the bullet (so to speak).

Those issues have been fixed now, and so have many others. Let’s dive in and talk about the We-Vibe Touch X, which my friends at TheVibed were kind enough to send me.

Of We-Vibe’s two legendary clit vibes, I’ve always preferred the Tango, because of the way its slim shape fits between my labia for super-easy clitoral shaft stimulation, and (even more importantly) the way its hard plastic body transmits its sharply rumbly vibrations so well. The Touch never really thrilled me as much, because – being made of silicone rather than plastic – its vibrations felt comparatively muted and softened. Many people consider this a feature rather than a bug, which is why I’ve often recommended the Touch to folks who find plastic vibes uncomfortably hard, or who have genital piercings, injuries, or other quirks that require a gentler approach. But in the past, I’ve pretty much never reached for my Touch unless my Tango’s battery was dead or I had misplaced it somewhere (probably at a Tinder hookup’s house). Those softened vibrations just don’t quite do it for me.

But that’s all different in the new iteration. We-Vibe retooled the Touch X’s motor so that the vibrations feel significantly closer to the surface now. They also feel specifically focused in the tip of the toy, so my fingers don’t get buzzed as much as they used to while I use it. Yay!!

The vibration quality now is a subcategory of “rumbly” that I think of as being like fast tapping. It’s similar to how the JeJoue bullet vibes feel: each individual “tap” can be discerned, at least on the lower speeds. It’s a satisfying sensation that makes the vibe feel less like a robot and more like a human being, at least in terms of how my clit responds to it. The vibrations get slightly buzzier as you move up through the toy’s 8 (!!) intensity levels, but they remain gratifyingly rumbly enough to get me off with ease. They also get pretty damn powerful – it’s possible that the Touch’s motor was always this strong, but the new redesign allows me to actually feel all those impressive vibrations transmitting through the silicone.

The shape of the Touch is a major selling point for its hardcore fans. It comes to a point at the tip, but it’s a point that has some squish, so you can press it hard into your clit without hurting yourself. It has a big “scoop” on the underside that would probably work great against a bigger clit or the frenulum of a penis, though I can’t really find a way to make it work with my particular genitals. More often than not, I end up doing with the Touch basically the same thing I do with the Tango: holding its slimmest edge against the side or top of my clit, so I get stimulation that is indirect but somewhat pinpointed. It works well for this, though I do find myself readjusting the Touch more than I need to with the Tango, and I find the Touch trickier to fit between bodies during penetrative sex (though it’s certainly better suited to this task than, say, any wand vibrator).

I love having 8 different speeds instead of 4; it makes it much less likely I’ll numb myself out by overstimulating my clit too soon in a session. I also adore the new addition of a “plus” and “minus” button so I can navigate between settings without having to loop back around to the beginning using one button, like the original Touch and Tango required. As a power user who loathes vibration patterns, I appreciate that they’re only accessible via a patterns button, which I never press, not even accidentally. If you do like patterns, I think you’ll dig the way their intensity can be turned up or down using the other buttons (all vibrators should have this feature!!). The buttons, blessedly, are all located in a place that feels intuitive for my hands, even when they’re hurting.

My one real complaint about the Touch X is that its “handle” end has some slightly abrupt edges that sometimes feel like they’re digging into my fingers a bit. This is a very minor issue, because they’re wrapped in silicone, which I think would cushion them plenty well enough for someone who doesn’t have chronically achy hands like I do. But it is enough of an issue that I’ll probably reach for the Tango X more often than the Touch X, for this reason in addition to some of the others previously mentioned.

I also don’t love that the silicone collects lint so quickly (as evidenced by the lint visible in the photos I took for this post, which persisted even after I spent a couple minutes trying to remove it all), but that’s basically par for the course with silicone.

Overall, though? Thank you, thank you, thank you to We-Vibe for updating these classic clit vibes in a way that will legit change people’s lives. Owning a vibrator that is rumbly and strong, yet ergonomic and accessible, is a game-changer – particularly at a reasonable price. The We-Vibe Touch X is a triumph, an instant classic, and a bedside staple. And when the pandemic is over, and we’re allowed to go places again, I’m sure it’ll accompany me on numerous trips in my handbag or suitcase, somehow even more charmingly versatile and useful than it was when I tried the original Touch so many years ago.

 

Thanks so much to my pals at TheVibed.com for sending me this product to try!