Review: NobEssence Seduction

2015-06-06 16.44.49


I have heard other reviewers describe G-spot stimulation as “addictive,” but I’m not sure I ever really understood that until the NobEssence Seduction.

Multiple orgasms are not usually my thing, but after the first time I came using the Seduction, it was less than an hour before I glanced over at it and thought, “Yeah, I need to use that again.” I did, and it was good enough to warrant the #GspotBLISS and #HOLYFUCK hashtags. That’s high praise!

I bought my Seduction in Portland when I was there for DildoHoliday. Epiphora took us to a local sex shop, and while the rest of the group wandered around looking at the store’s various wares, I found myself glued to the NobEssence display. In particular, I couldn’t stop staring at the Seduction. I’d only ever heard good things about it, and had wanted one for so long but had never even been in the same room as one. And now, here was a gorgeous black palm Seduction, right in front of me. So I bought it, even though it set me back a hefty $160.

When a sex toy is that expensive, it had damn well better be good. And let me tell you: the Seduction is incredible. Money well spent, as far as I’m concerned.

You know that “Oh shit, yeah” feeling that suddenly kicks into gear as you get close to an orgasm? That’s how my G-spot feels for most of the time that I’m thrusting the Seduction inside me. Its broad head is bigger than the G-spot toys I generally use, so it rubs over my entire G-spot with every thrust. There is no fucking around with this toy. Your G-spot cannot escape; the Seduction will find it.

Let’s be clear: everything I’ve said about this dildo so far has been about its larger end. The ball-shaped smaller end is good too, but it’s taught me something about my G-spot: it prefers broad stimulation, not pinpoint. Finely targeted pressure gives me more of that need-to-pee discomfort that sometimes puts me off G-spot play, while broader contact just feels good. As always, all bodies are different, but that’s how my G-spot rolls.

However, that’s not to say that I never use the small side of the Seduction. It makes for a terrific warm-up, helping my vag relax so it’ll be able to handle the significant girth (1 7/8″!) of the toy’s big end. And when that little ball is inside me, I can grind the Seduction’s shaft against my clit with minimal awkward angling. The motion is similar to jerking off a penis, and I like to do it while I idly read erotica or watch porn, as a prelude to serious self-fucking.

The orgasms I have from the Seduction (paired with a good clit vibe) are all-consuming and life-affirming. Panda says that hers makes her come so hard she cries, and I believe it. The combination of thickness, firmness, and a sharp G-spot angle makes for some very intense sensations. This dildo is not for you if you like your toys thin, gentle, or flexible.

But if your G-spot wants to have the wind knocked out of it… if you want to fuck your own brains out until you’re lying in a sweaty heap, possibly soaked in your own ejaculate… if you want orgasms that will make you weep and send fawning love letters to NobEssence… you need a Seduction.

Yes, it’s expensive. But pleasure this ridiculous is worth paying for.

My New Lover: NobEssence Fling

Just LOOK at this motherfucker! Drink in its insane beauty!

I bought my NobEssence Fling on buyout from Eden Fantasys to offset its high cost, so my full review of it is located on their website. But I still felt that you needed to hear me extol its virtues. Because this thing is a G-spotting boss.

When I was contemplating NobEssence toys, I asked Epiphora what she thought of the Fling, since it was the one that was calling out to my G-spot. She said, “Haven’t tried it but my gut says your money’s better spent on the Seduction or Tryst.” I trust her opinion on most things, but the more that I looked at those toys and their measurements, the more I became convinced that they probably wouldn’t work for me. I’ve learned that my G-spot likes big bulbs, but that my vagina can only rarely take toys wider than 1 ½". So I defied Epiphora (!) and went with the Fling.

I ordered my Fling in what EF calls “burgundy,” which turned out to be a dark red wood called Padauk that lights up bright red when held up to light. It’s hand-carved, and sealed in a coating called Lubrosity that keeps it safe from me juicing all over it (and also, you know, makes it washable and bleachable and stuff).

It is a very near-perfect toy. My EF review of it is titled “Nature’s Answer to the Pure Wand,” and if you know sex toys, you know what a huge compliment that is. The Fling causes that immediate, intense, “whoa boy” kind of G-spot sensation that only the Pure Wand and Amethyst have really been able to create in me before – and it does it without straining my wrist or requiring weird angling to happen. I just lube it up, slide it in, and my G-spot practically shrieks in ecstasy.

One of the very strange things about the Fling is that its diameter is apparently the same as the dildo that conquered my vagina, and yet the Fling actually fits inside me. It’s a little bit painful upon initial insertion, especially if I haven’t warmed up with a smaller toy first, but once I get it past the opening, it slips straight in and there’s no pain involved. I’m convinced that this toy is magic.

I’m very glad that my first NobEssence toy is the Fling, and I’m not even sure that I’ll want another one, to be honest with you. This dildo is so perfect that I can’t even imagine wanting it to have a sibling in my toybox.

Review: Knotty Wood Arts dildos

Several weeks ago, I had the idea to ask various Etsy sellers if they’d like me to review some of their products. There are a lot of people making gorgeous sexual paraphernalia on Etsy – everything from leather floggers to glass butt plugs – and I love to support independent craftsters, so I thought it would be cool to do a series of reviews of handmade items here on Girly Juice.

Being mostly just normal people, rather than businessfolk, not all of the Etsians I contacted were totally professional. One insulted me for asking for “freebies.” One cut me down for writing a not-altogether-positive review of their product. One even made a feeble attempt at flirting with me. But the man behind Knotty Wood Arts was completely wonderful, helpful, and kind. Even if I didn’t like his toys, I’d still be singing his praises for the great customer service… but I love his toys, so I can sing their praises as well!

Knotty sent me three dildos to review. One was custom-made to my specifications – my first custom sex toy! – and it is perfect. I requested a ripply dildo, 1 ¼” wide and 6″ long (I have a pretty tiny vagina, so sometimes I wish all my dildos were this size). Drawings were exchanged, dimensions were discussed, and I felt absolutely cared for as a customer.

Naturally, the dildo that was designed specifically for me is definitely my favorite of the three, and indeed, now one of my favorite penetrative toys in my collection. It’s the perfect size for a warm-up dildo, helping me to transition seamlessly to a larger toy, if that’s what I want to do – but it feels so good that I quite often use it for my entire play session. The little balls stroke my G-spot easily and effectively. I love that I don’t have to be “in the mood for penetration” to use this toy, because it’s smaller than most of my dildos and never feels like a challenge.

One of the other toys Knotty sent me, the Turtle, is tiny and discreet, but is surprisingly good at hitting my G-spot. It has a grippy handle where my fingertips fit, allowing me to push up on it and apply more pressure to my spot. It’s a very clever design because it kind of looks like a wooden spoon, or at the very least, it doesn’t look like a dildo – so you could leave this out, or take it with you when you travel, and no one would suspect. The owner of Knotty says this is one of his most popular designs, and I can certainly see why.

I’m admittedly not in love with the third Knotty toy I received, a girthy double-ended dildo with a ridgy part on one end – but that’s probably because it’s made up of two things my vagina doesn’t really like: smooth thickness and little ridges. I know some texture queens and girth enthusiasts who’d probably be all over this one, though it’s not for me.

This has been my first experience using wooden toys, and I think I’ll be trying more of them in the future, because wood is a great material for dildos. It’s lightweight, so my wrist never gets tired from thrusting it, even when I’m going super quickly. Knotty dildos are all treated with several coats of a food-safe finish, which keeps the toys’ surface smooth and lube-compatible but also preserves the smell of the wood (which is heavenly, by the way – much more pleasant than steel or silicone). It’s easy to wash these dildos with soap and water or a quick spritz of some antibacterial toy cleaning spray. And best of all, wood is firm, so it makes my G-spot swoon.

Wood’s not perfect, though. These toys have some drag – not the kind that makes me fear for vaginal splinters, thank goodness – so I find I need an extra squirt of lube to get ‘em to slide smoothly and comfortably. However, that’s the kind of thing I only mind if the toy isn’t that great, and these wooden toys are great, so drag’s not a big deal.

As if it’s not awesome enough that all Knotty Wood Arts toys are hand-carved, coated in a body-safe finish, customizable, firm, and lightweight, they’re also affordable. If you’ve been lusting after a wooden toy by NobEssence, you’ve probably noticed that their toys are pretty pricey. I’m sure you’ll be surprised and delighted to know that most of Knotty’s toys are under $50. I can think of no better way to describe this than the following: YAY!

Thanks so much, Knotty Wood Arts, for giving me my first experience with wooden toys and making it such a good one! If you’d like him to make you a custom wooden dildo or anal toy, get in touch with your specifications!