Top Toronto Spots For… Sex Nerds

me wearing a "Sex Geek" T-shirt

It’s so much easier to be a sex-positive weirdo when your city is brimming with other sex-positive weirdos. And Toronto certainly fucking is! Here are some sex-nerdy spots you should check out, if you decide to visit Toronto for the porn festival in April or for any other occasion…

me dressed eclectically and looking apprehensive
On my way to an art party at Good For Her in 2009.

Sex shop: Good For HerWe used to have some other great feminist sex shops – like Come As You Are, which shuttered its brick-and-mortar location and converted to all-online this past year – but right now, Good For Her’s the only one still standing. It has a relaxed, low-pressure ambiance that’s super important when you’re shopping for something as sensitive as sex products. The staff always offer me water or tea when I walk in, which is just lovely. They carry a lot of different sex toys, kink items, sexual health supplies, sex books, and menstrual products. They also run workshops on various topics related to sex, dating, and sensuality. And I love that the hours from 12 to 2 PM every Sunday are only for customers who identify as women or trans folks – sometimes you just need to shop in an environment that is guaranteed to be free of cis dudes.

Leather/fetish gear: Northbound Leather. I was introduced to this shop by my friend Taylor J. Mace, who knows his shit when it comes to kink! I doubt I’ll ever be able to afford anything from this upscale leather store, but it’s sure fun to window-shop at. If you have a leather fetish or just want to breathe in the sweet, soothing scent of fancy-ass leather, put this shop on your itinerary.

Condoms and lube: the Condom Shack. This Queen West shop is exactly what it sounds like. Do your research before visiting, because they carry a bunch of cheap, shitty stuff alongside their higher-quality wares – but if you need a quick top-up of, say, Blossom Organics lube or Crown condoms, you can make a pitstop here.

my friend Dan and I drinking ciders
Drinking ciders with Dan at the Glad Day.

Queer books: Glad Day Bookshop. Did you know that we have the world’s oldest LGBT bookstore here in Toronto?! Glad Day is such a wonderful place, and I recommend supporting them whenever you get the chance. Their current space on Church Street is sprawling and beautiful, and you can get coffee and tea there in addition to books. It’s a lovely place to sit with your hot beverage for a few hours, reading or writing or hanging out with friends. They also host plenty of fun events for the local queer and sex-positive community – as does the 519, just up the street.

STI testing and contraception: Hassle-Free Clinic or Planned ParenthoodI have not accessed services at either of these places (I get my testing done through my family doctor), but they come highly recommended by friends of mine. You will be treated well at either clinic, and you can also grab a handful of free condoms at either one. The Hassle-Free may be of particular interest to you if you’re visiting from outside the country: their services are free, even if you don’t have a Canadian health card. Oh, Canada, how I adore thee.

Dane Joe and I smiling at each other
With Dane Joe at Oasis, about to get it on.

Sex club (with caveats): Oasis AqualoungeIt would be strange to write about sexy spots in Toronto without mentioning Oasis, our local water-themed sex club – but this recommendation isn’t a whole-hearted one. Oasis has some transphobic policies, is rumored (in my communities) to employ someone who has committed sexual assaults in the past, and even did a “Slave Princess Leia”-themed event mere days after Carrie Fisher’s death (YIKES). All of these issues are apparently being addressed but I’ll still have my reservations about Oasis until I see them take action to fix and apologize for these problems. However, there are few – if any – other spaces like Oasis in Toronto, unfortunately. They have a nice pool and hot tub, a well-stocked bar, and several rooms to get bizzy in. Go if you must… although I’m sure there are more ethical places where you could fuck.

a tag with the number 4 on it, pinned to my chest
My number tag at Crush.

Sex-positive socializin’: Crush and Puppy Love. These are fun dance-y parties designed to help you mix ‘n’ mingle with other sex-positive cuties. Crush is more introvert-friendly, with icebreaker games like Truth or Dare and Twister on offer, and a system of anonymous “crush notes” where you can tell someone you think they’re cute even if you’re shy. Meanwhile, Puppy Love has more of a clubby vibe, and is great if you want to dance the night away.

Queer-specific socializin’: Queer Slowdance and the Butch/Femme Salon. These are fun places to make new friends and/or get your flirt on if you’re a queerdo. I love that the Queer Slowdance has volunteer “designated dancers” whose entire job is to seek out nervous wallflowers, make them feel comfortable, and invite them to dance. I am the introvertiest introvert but I find this environment less anxiety-provoking than most parties.

Queer history: the Canadian Lesbian & Gay ArchivesI haven’t been here but I hear good things! Our LGBTQ foreparents did such important things for the cause, and they deserve to be celebrated for generations to come. Visiting the archives is a way you can honor and learn about those who came before you in the canon of queer history.

Smutty laughs: Bed PostThis variety show at the Social Capital Theatre mixes sex-centric storytelling and comedy with other art forms, like burlesque, music, and dance. It’s hosted by the ever-charming Erin Pim. There are always giveaways of sex products, too. It’s a real mixed bag of an evening!

my beautiful blonde friend Georgia animatedly telling a story in front of a crowd
Georgia telling a story at Tell Me Something Good.

Sexy storytelling: Tell Me Something GoodA highlight of my month every month, TMSG is where a bunch of super-supportive sex-positive cuties get together in a room and listen to some brave volunteers tell true sex stories from their lives. There’s a different theme each month, hilarious guest judges, and X-rated prizes to be won. Whether you decide to tell a story yourself or just opt to sit in the crowd and laugh the evening away, it’s always a supremely fun night out.

Fellow Toronto-dwellers: what are your favorite sex-nerdy spots in our city?