12 Days of Girly Juice: 8 Classic Tweets

I originally started tweeting as a supplement to my blog, but it’s become much more than that. Moreso even than this space, my Twitter feed has grown into its own little community of sex-positive weirdos. We’ve got femmes, geeks, kinksters, bloggers, sex workers, pornographers. We crack each other up, debate with one another, and cheer each other on. When I dreamed of “internet fame” as a wee young lass, this was what I envisioned: a merry band of like-minded dorks, all of us sharing in each other’s trials and triumphs; a vibrant social community that was online but no less real for that.

Twitter’s also, I should mention, where I met and/or got to know most of the people I had sex with in 2015. So there’s that.

I’ve compiled 8 of my favorite tweets of mine from 2015 here for you, since my tweets are now arguably just as much a part of my “oeuvre” as my blog. (Tell that to the haterz who assured me Twitter was an inane waste of time when I joined in 2007!)

I wrote this in a coffee shop while working on a fanfiction story. Writing fanfic is amazingly fun as is, but I quickly discovered it’s even more fun if you live-tweet the writing process and ask your hilarious followers for language contributions. (Randy suggested “cunni-dingus,” “clit twit” and “lacklustre labia licker,” all of which I loved so much that I found a way to fit them into the story.)

This was an idea I pondered all year, and it kind of ended up being the theme of 2015 for me. I want to be smart and sexy, vivacious and valued, naked and knowledgeable. There are a lot of people in my internet following who value me only for my cleavagey selfies and titillation quotient, but for those of you who acknowledge and appreciate my tits and my brain: thank you, it means a lot.

Forever looking for ways to turn sexist narratives on their heads and strive for sexual equality. This is one particularly amusing strategy. It’s best said with your eyes slightly narrowed in a withering stare, upper lip drawn back in a subtle sneer. Go forth and level some dudes with your feminist sass, please!

Being a sex-and-language nerd gets me into interesting situations sometimes. (See also: that time I discovered that the plural of clitoris is apparently “clitorides.”) If you’re wondering where the above phrase actually ended up, it’s in my blog post about breakupiversaries.

I wrote this while scarfing an arugula salad and hot chocolate by myself at 7 West. I’d had tentative plans to go on a date with a boy that night and he cancelled on me, so I got thoroughly dolled up and went on a self-date instead. This is a lovely ritual I’d like to enact more often in 2016!

This tweet happened while I was bored out of my mind in a tattoo parlor waiting for my friends to get their touch-ups done (I’d already had mine). Apparently I pun when I’m antsy.

We’ve all heard the Oprah-ism, “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” I like “Naaah” even better because it’s dismissive and disrespectful – much like the rude sexual requests I’m often responding to when I say it.

This makes me smile for two reasons: 1) Boys who are down with period sex! Yaaaay! and 2) I love doing post-sex recaps and analyses with friends. It often helps me come to realizations about my own desires and experiences that inform how I approach sex from then on. I was lucky enough to have lots of friends who’d happily listen to me ramble about sex in 2015!

Here’s to another year of goofy tweets! Thanks for following me and being part of my weird little web of companions.