lube

I Tried LubeLife’s New Dill Pickle-Flavored Lube!

Kate Sloan

Did you know that apparently Gen Z is obsessed with pickles? Reminds me of the era when my own generation, millennials, were disproportionately enamored with bacon, spawning countless bacon-centric memes and jokes. Cultural trends can be so strange!

To be honest, I understand the passion for pickles even more than I understood the bacon fixation. I love me a salty snack, and few things are saltier than pickles. For years, my go-to cocktail has been a dirty martini, and while it’s normally dirtied up with olive brine, I’ve come to appreciate pickle-brine martinis just as much, if not more. The dill flavor lends an herbal savoriness that makes my little Polish-Jewish heart sing! (My fave pickles are by Grillo’s, incase you were wondering…)

All this to say, when I recently received a press release from lubricant company LubeLife about their newest launch – a limited-edition PICKLE-FLAVORED LUBE – I shrieked at my laptop and hit ‘reply’ so fast I practically pulled a muscle. (…the pain of which incidentally could’ve been alleviated by eating pickles. What can’t they do?!)

A pickle-themed press mailer

About a week later, a package arrived for me. Inside was a pickle-shaped stress ball, a pickle-shaped pen, a pickle-shaped vibrator(!), some pickle stickers (which sounds like slang for tools you’d use in a CBT scene…), green socks that say “big pickle energy,” a green pickle-emblazoned baseball cap that says “not my first pickle,” and la pièce de résistance: the pickle-flavored lube itself.

I jammed the jaunty hat onto my head immediately, and brought the lube to my wife so we both could taste it.

What’s it taste like?

As soon as my wife and I both sampled the lube, we looked at each other wide-eyed, like, “Oh damn! That’s better than I expected!” I thought it was pretty good, but my wife (admittedly not usually a flavored lube enjoyer) announced that it was probably the best flavored lube she’d ever tried.

Let me be clear: You will not like this lube if you don’t like dill pickles. I mean, duh. But I’m telling you, you really won’t. This lube is only for connoisseurs of these particular savory flavors. It doesn’t just taste salty; it actually tastes like dill – both the sweeter and savorier aspects of that flavor profile – as well as some of the other ingredients often found in dill pickle brine, such as garlic. If I were a lube sommelier with terrifically tuned-in tastebuds, perhaps I could pick out some subtler flavors therein – mustard seed, coriander, black peppercorns? – but my palate is more plebeian than that, so mostly I just taste dill and garlic.

Ultimately, the garlic note made it hard for me to love this lube beyond that initial taste-test. The same way it does in culinary applications, that taste tends to linger longer than lots of others, including the dill-y sweetness that initially seems like the lube’s main flavor. I don’t love walking around with a mouth tasting like garlic, especially if I’m gonna be making out/having sex, but I know some people who adore garlic and would probably dig this!

The martini test

My wife and I are big cocktail fans, and (as I mentioned up top) one of my favorites is a dirty martini. I’ve made myself dozens of pickle-brine dirty martinis at home over the last few years, and really enjoy the way gin and vermouth balance out the saltiness of the brine – so I thought, why not try LubeLife’s pickle lube in a martini, instead of traditional brine?

My wife suggested I make a tiny, scaled-down drink, since she (wisely) didn’t want me to waste too much good liquor on what might turn out to be a disgusting experiment… so I mixed a quarter-size martini: half an ounce of London dry gin, a quarter-ounce of Dolin dry vermouth, and a couple little squirts of pickle lube. I stirred ’em with an ice cube for chill and dilution (or dill-ution, if you will…), and then strained the mixture into a teensy little cocktail glass and brought it to my wife for tasting.

“I’m not mad at it,” she said with a shrug when she tried it. We agreed that the lube’s otherwise sharp flavor profile is pleasantly rounded out in the context of a martini – the dill and garlic were definitely still perceptible, but were significantly toned down, a fun embellishment rather than the dominant flavor. Perhaps that’s how this lube tastes best: diluted, whether by booze or bodily fluids. Speaking of which…

The sex test + a word of warning

Quite reasonably, neither of my partners were willing to let me test out this lube on their actual junk, because flavored lubes are somewhat risky from a genital health perspective. This pickle lube contains sucralose, an artificial sweetener, as well as glycerin, both of which can irritate the vagina. As such, I’d recommend only using flavored lubes externally (i.e. on/around a clit, labia, dick, balls, or anal opening), and switching to a more standard lube formula if you want to do some penetration. (My favorite, as ever, is Sutil Rich.)

That being said, a savory lube like this one is probably a better pairing with genital tastes than many other flavored lubes would be. As my friend Billy Lore often says, “Strawberry lube on a dick isn’t just gonna taste like strawberries, it’s gonna taste like strawberries and dick” – and with that being the case, it makes sense to choose a lube that will pair harmoniously with the taste of dick and/or pussy, rather than clashing with it. I tried some of this lube alongside a dash of my own vaginal fluids, and found that the two worked well together, like prosecco and oysters – they were vaguely in the same flavor family and thus actually elevated one another. And isn’t that kind of the ideal scenario when it comes to a flavored lube?

 

What do you think, dear readers? Would you ever try a pickle-flavored lube? Do you think this is a terrible idea, or a great one?

 

This post was NOT sponsored, I really just wanted to ramble at you about pickle lube. LubeLife did send me the product for free, though.

Review: Honeypot CBD-Infused Lube

Kate Sloan
Image via Honeypot

Since both my vagina and I are stoners, I’ve tried a fair number of CBD-infused lubes. The effects they boast are impressive:

  • heightened sensation
  • better orgasms
  • muscle relaxation
  • increased bloodflow
  • lessening of sexual pain

However, the one I’m reviewing today is different from any other CBD lube I’ve tried, because it’s silicone-based. It’s Honeypot lube, and I’m a fan.

The problem with a lot of existing CBD lubes is that they’re oil-based. Of course, this gives them a sexy texture that’s great for masturbation or for barrier-free partnered sex, but if you use latex condoms (as I do) or other latex sexual barriers, you can’t use oil-based products because the oil will break down the latex, compromising the safety of your barriers.

I’ve always thought: why should people who don’t use condoms get to have all the fun when it comes to CBD lubes?! And now that I have Honeypot, I don’t have to stress about that anymore, because it’s a condom-safe one.

(Obligatory caveat: generally speaking, you shouldn’t use silicone-based lube with silicone toys, because it might degrade the material. But that seems to only happen with some silicone lubes and some toys, so try doing a spot test near the base of your toy to check whether it’ll have a bad reaction before you use it.)

 

 

Image via Honeypot

Honeypot lube comes in elegant packaging that looks and feels luxurious. Its branding is minimalistic and sexy. Crucially, the pump on its bottle is well-designed, not prone to making a  mess, and feels satisfying to press.

The taste of it leans sweet and acidic, and the medicinal flavor of the hemp extract shines through. Unlike a lot of CBD lubes, this one isn’t infused with peppermint or any other flavorful ingredients, which has its upsides and its downsides: your genitals won’t get overloaded with minty sensation, as with some CBD lubes that make me feel like my vagina just got pumped full of Icy Hot, but there’s also no flavoring to mask the herbal hemp flavor, so this wouldn’t be my top pick if oral sex was on the agenda.

Texture-wise, Honeypot is pretty standard for a silicone-based formulation. It’s perhaps a little thinner and less cushiony than Uberlube (usually my go-to silicone lube). My partner thought the consistency felt a lot like vaginal lubrication, which is a plus for us, both because it blends more seamlessly into my own lubrication during sex, and because it gives them gender euphoria when we use this lube on toys we’re putting into their hole.

 

Image via Honeypot

But what about the CBD? Here’s a brief primer on using CBD lubes, incase you’ve never done so before. It only really takes effect when applied to mucous membranes, like the inside of the vagina or butt, and the innermost part of the inner labia. (Sorry, penises. Possibly uncircumcised ones can absorb CBD better, due to them being more mucosal than circumcised dicks, but I’m not sure.)

You should ideally apply it 10-15 minutes before you want the effects to kick in, and it needs to be massaged into the skin a little bit to reach maximal effectiveness. So, for example, it might be nice to gently massage it into someone’s labia and vaginal opening while you’re kissing them, and then spend another 10-15 minutes kissing, groping, grinding, etc. before progressing down to genital-town.

Without the usual peppermint overloading my senses, I find that with Honeypot I’m more able to focus on the actual effects of the CBD. There’s a subtle warming sensation internally which dissipates after about a minute and is then replaced with muscle relaxation and a feeling of extra engorgement. The added bloodflow to the area makes everything feel more swollen and sensitive, in a good way.

As silicone lubes tend to do, this one lasts and lasts. My partner used it on a butt plug which they left in for over an hour (without re-lubing at any point), and removal was just as smooth and pleasant as insertion.

 

Unlike a lot of lubes, Honeypot is actually lab-tested to ensure its ingredients list is accurate and honest. It’s THC-free and made from hemp, which may affect its legality where you live (I know that hemp-based CBD often exists in a legal loophole, though you’ll have to do research on the laws in your area to know for sure).

At $36 per bottle, it’s pricey for a lube, but pretty reasonable for a CBD lube (the last one I reviewed was $60 for an even smaller bottle!). They also offer bulk pricing options, so if you try it and find that you love it, you can stock up at a lower rate.

Overall I’m really impressed with Honeypot silicone-based CBD lube! It’s elegant, effective, and unique. I think it holds a lot of promise for people struggling with vaginal pain, arousal issues, post-menopausal vaginal dryness, and various other sexual struggles. Cheers to Honeypot for making a lube that is truly unlike any other one I’ve tried!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own (and my partner’s).

An Assortment of Sexy Objects I’m Enjoying

Kate Sloan

Astroglide X Silicone Liquid

Recently mb and I were wandering around in uptown New York, spending a staycation weekend enjoying the Central Park sunshine, when… the dreaded chub rub struck.

If you don’t know about chub rub, well, I envy you. It’s the phenomenon of body parts sliding against one another in a painful and irritating way, often exacerbated by sweat and humidity. I inevitably get at least a few really painful bouts of chub rub between my thighs every summer, because as much as I try to be careful about wearing cotton bike shorts under my dresses, you just can’t always predict when you’ll want (or need) to go for a long stroll.

That’s what happened to me during our late-spring staycation, and I didn’t want to give up and go back to the hotel – so we stopped at a CVS and went in search of silicone-based lube, an oft-recommended preventative measure against chub rub. Silicone reduces the friction between thighs (or other chub-rubbin’ body parts), so that they slide more smoothly against one another and get less irritated.

The only one I could find in the drugstore was this unostentatious purple-capped bottle from Astroglide – but notably, silicone-based lubes don’t actually differ all that much from one another. Much like Uberlube – the most widely beloved silicone lube amongst my friend group, and a noted anti-chub-rub agent – this Astroglide one is long-lasting, slick as hell, and essentially tasteless except for a very mild powdery flavor. This one is cheaper and more widely available, although its packaging certainly isn’t as glamorous as Uberlube’s. In any case, it nixed my impending chub rub and worked well for a handjob later that night, so I’m happy with my purchase!

BMS Factory Essential Bullet

Could it possibly be true? A rechargeable bullet vibrator for just $21… and it’s actually good?!?

BMS is renowned for their rumbly motors – the earthshattering Swan Wand is a prime example – and this bullet is one of its most stripped-down iterations. Seeing that it’s also USB-rechargeable, swathed in satiny silicone, and fully waterproof, this vibe could easily be viewed as a cheaper dupe of the revered We-Vibe Tango X – and at about a quarter of the price, that’s pretty astonishing.

I personally will probably continue to use my Tango X more often, though, for a few reasons: it has a higher number of steady vibration speeds (8 to the Essential Bullet’s 4), has three different buttons (as opposed to the Essential Bullet’s one button you have to click to cycle through its settings), and has a pointed/angled tip that allows for several different types/intensities of clitoral stimulation (the Essential Bullet’s classic rounded shape isn’t as versatile, though it will fit into bullet-compatible toys more easily).

That said, I’m very impressed with this toy for its price point, and the fact that it comes with a travel-friendly zippered hard storage case (which also fits its charging cable) just sweetens the deal, especially for someone in a long-distance relationship like me. If you want powerful vibrations on a budget, in a tiny package, get the Essential Bullet!

 

Zalo fox fur tickler

I’m not sure why, but this product doesn’t seem to be available anymore. Weird. Probably has something to do with the fox fur (no longer available? too expensive to acquire consistently? consumers got angry about it?) but it’s anyone’s guess. Anyway, I didn’t ask for this – and probably wouldn’t have, since it’s made with actual fur and I don’t feel great about that – but it was sent to me in a PR package of other Zalo stuff, so I thought I might as well try it out.

There’s no denying that this is a super elegant object. Its gold-toned stainless steel handle feels sexy and luxurious in my hand, and is long enough to give me good control without being cumbersome. The fur itself is cloudlike: white, soft, so gentle to the touch that you’re almost not sure it’s even there.

Ticklers are one of those items that a lot of vanilla people think kinky people would be into, but I hardly ever hear about any actual kinky people actually using them. This one is, at least, quite fancy and beautiful, unlike the cheapo ones that often find their way into sex conference swag bags and bachelorette kits along with sad buzzy fingertip vibes and papery blindfolds. I haven’t had a chance to use it in a scene yet, but I imagine it’d be fun combined with bondage and a blindfold, and perhaps contrasted with more intense sensations, like being hit with a leather strap or having a Wartenberg wheel rolled all over my body.

Real fur is an ethical line I admittedly have crossed before, but that was always with vintage furs, which IMO are in a different category morally because they’ve already been made and would likely end up in a landfill if no one bought them from consignment shops and thrift stores. I don’t feel good about recommending this product because it’s made of real fur, even though I think it’s beautiful and high-quality. Is anyone making gorgeous, luxurious faux-fur ticklers for kinky sensation play out there? I’d be curious to know!

Her Highness CBD pleasure oil

I’ve tried a few different sensation-enhancing products spiked with cannabinoids, and this one may be a top-tier fave, even after only using it a few times.

The main reason I like it: While it does contain peppermint oil like most other products of this type, the mint is quite toned-down in the formula compared to others I’ve tried. When there’s too much mint, my vulva gets so ridiculously overwhelmed by the minty intensity that all the oil’s other, more subtle effects become less noticeable. In the Her Highness version, the mint acts like a garnish in a cocktail, bringing out the sensations caused by the CBD without overpowering them.

Her Highness says this is “not a lube, it’s an orgasm enhancer.” Its two active ingredients work in tandem: CBD boosts relaxation and lubrication, while Spilanthes Acmella (had to Google that one!) is a vasorelaxant, meaning it improves circulation and prompts arousal. In my experience, the effects of CBD on the vulva, clitoris, and labia are fairly subtle – I definitely get aroused more easily, and my partner observes that it’s easier to get me off when we use CBD products, but it’s not, like, a whole new sensation or anything. I like that this oil allows me to appreciate those nuanced effects without proverbially drowning my genitals in peppermint oil.

As with all oils, don’t use this with condoms because it’ll degrade the latex. And as with all sexy CBD products, this one absorbs best if you massage it into mucous membranes, like the inner labia and inside of the vagina, which is why they don’t typically have much of an effect on penises (bummer!). But I like it and will continue to use it when I need a little help getting turned on!

 

Personal Fav Whet plant-based sex serum

The name of this product makes me laugh, especially when contrasted with its deeply elegant packaging.

This is a water-based lube with deliciously design-y branding. It lacks all the nasties you don’t want in your lube (glycerine, propylene glycol, parabens, etc.) and contains some active ingredients ideal for sex: hemp extract to amp up sensations, chamomile to calm any irritation, ginseng to enhance arousal, aloe vera to soothe your skin, and horny goat weed to increase desire. I haven’t really noticed these effects, to be honest, but it’s a good list of ingredients nonetheless!

This lube has basically no scent and a very mildly sweet taste, making it great for oral sex if you need some extra wetness. Like most water-based lubes, it dries out within a few minutes, but can easily be rehydrated by adding a little water (or, if you’re lazy/if you’re me, saliva or vaginal lubrication). It’s on the thinner side – I find most aloe lubes are – so it’s not ideal for activities that need a lot of lubrication and a lot of cushioning, like anal sex or fisting. As with many lubes of its ilk, I find it works best for vaginal penetration, because my vag getting wetter over time helps the lube stay wet the whole time I’m using it.

Frankly, though, one of my favorite things about this lube is its packaging! The matte black bottle is hard and won’t get squished in your handbag or suitcase; it’s also slim and space-effective. The shiny black plastic cap doesn’t fall off easily like so many other lube bottle caps. And it has a pump top, making it great for heat-of-the-moment lubin’. I can’t say the formula is my “personal fav” – it lacks the thick, luxurious glide of something like Sutil Rich – but it’s perfectly serviceable, and the durable, travel-friendly packaging means I’ll grab it more often than a lot of my other, better-formulated but less convenient lubes.

 

Zalo & Upko Doll Designer Collection silicone rose ballgag

This is the prettiest ballgag I’ve ever seen!! I wanted it desperately from the first moment I saw it in a Zalo press release that landed in my inbox. Ballgags are typically pretty utilitarian in appearance; this one is unapologetically fancy and (for my sensibilities, at least) glamorously femme.

The gag part is made of silky red silicone with no noticeable smell or taste. Metal snaps connect it to leather straps; I love being able to disconnect the straps so I can wash the gag without messing up the leather. You can also remove the rose part, leaving a simple red silicone ball with a hole through it, so this toy is a 2-in-1: you can use it on this “breathable setting” if you’re still getting used to ballgags, and then add in the rose when you want a more ~aesthetic~ vibe. (Zalo also notes that if you wanted to, you could poke a finger underneath the rose, through the hole, and into your partner’s mouth as a “finger tease,” but fingers in my mouth is a hard limit for me, so, nope. I know lots of people are into it though.)

I’ve only tried a couple of ballgags (I think?! I dunno, I’ve been doing this a long time) so I can’t compare this one to many others in its genre, but I will say that it’s quite comfortable but still produces the requisite amounts of powerlessness and drooling that gag aficionacos seem to adore. I’m not a frequent gag user at all, but I love the glamour of this one and I’m sure I’ll use it a lot in the fullness of time!

 

Thanks to Zalo, Her Highness, and Personal Fav for sending me these products to try! The first two in this post (Astroglide + Essential Bullet) were purchased with my own money.

Let’s Normalize Lube in Sexual Media!

Kate Sloan

It comes out of nowhere. I’m never expecting it. Why would I?

A reference to lube? In a mainstream piece of media? Really? Are you sure?

This time, it’s the character Lily on my favorite show of the moment, Netflix’s Sex Education. “I’ll bring the condoms,” she says, while negotiating an upcoming sex-date. “You bring the lube.”

There are a lot of parts of the queer, kinky, asexual-spectrum experience that are not represented accurately, or at all, in media depictions – so I’m not exactly surprised when on-screen sex has little in common with my real-life encounters. But lube seems like such an amazingly basic thing to leave out of fictional sex altogether. It would be like if an entire cinematic universe flat-out refused to acknowledge condoms exist (which, I suppose I should note, the mainstream porn “cinematic universe” often seems to do). It is not only inaccurate to many people’s experience of sex, but also irresponsible – because anyone learning about sex should simultaneously learn about lube.

It should show up in so many movies, books, shows, podcasts, and magazines we’ve consumed by the time we become sexually active that we add it to our carts when we drop by the drugstore to pick up condoms – a no-brainer. Its usage should be one of the standard pieces of advice we give to every teenager in sex ed classes and “the talk.” Doctors should bring it up alongside birth control when counseling soon-to-be-no-longer-virgins.

I argue this, in part, because I myself didn’t discover the wonders of lube until I was about 19. Sure, I’d read about it in the occasional erotica story or informative article, and had heard folks discussing it on the Sex is Fun podcast, but somehow I assumed that someone like me didn’t need to worry about it. I got plenty wet enough on my own, thank you very much.

But then I started reading sex blogs, and I noticed the fervor with which some of my favorite bloggers used lube every single time they masturbated or had sex. I bought a bottle of my own (water-based, IMO the best kind for beginners because of its versatility) and started using it religiously. And it, indeed, changed my life.

With the addition of a good lubricant, bad sex got better, and good sex became amazing. Masturbation was easier, and I did it more often because I no longer had to wait for my body to get all the way turned on before sliding a dildo inside me. It even worked well for external stimulation – I experimented with using it on my clit, labia, and nipples, and found it was far preferable to my previous “lube” of choice, spit. The clouds parted and angels sang upon my genitals.

This has been an overall theme in my process of learning about sex: even though (as a budding sex nerd) I always knew way more about this stuff than my peers did while I was growing up, it’s often been the simplest lessons that took me the longest to learn, and that I had to push myself the hardest to absorb. I was hesitant, for example, to touch my own clit during intercourse even though I knew it would feel good, I was initially scared to give handjobs or blowjobs because I worried being bad at them was a breakup-worthy offence, and somehow I didn’t realize just how much a good lube could improve my sex life until I tried one. Oh well – better late than never.

One of my big takeaways from this experience is that, as I said, we need to incorporate lube into more sex ed curricula and media. It would make people who don’t self-lubricate “enough” feel less broken, and people who have sex involving non-self-lubricating holes (including many queer and trans people) safer and more comfortable. It would go beyond the dry (no pun intended), safety-focused information so often given to teens and would teach them about pleasure – because as far as I’m concerned, additional pleasure is the main benefit of using lube. Maybe that’s why it’s so rarely talked about in comparison to condoms and birth control.

Kudos to Sex Education, not only for mentioning lube several times (including in a memorable scene where our sex-genius heroine Jean advises a young gay boy that water-based lube is the best choice for anal sex), but for mentioning it in the context of pleasure. Sex advice shouldn’t make sex seem scary or intimidating – and I really feel that spreading the good word about lube can go a long way toward diminishing sexual shame and raising the overall global quotient of sexual pleasure.

 

Thanks so much to the lovely folks at Promescent for sponsoring this post! They have a new collection of lubricants out, including a water-based one, a silicone-based one, an organic aloe-based one, and a peppermint-infused arousal gel.

Current Fave Lubes

Kate Sloan

It’s been a while since I’ve done this, so… here’s some current faves of mine in the lube category!

Best general-purpose lube: Sutil Rich (available at SheVibe and Come As You Are)

This water-based formula is, indeed, rich. It feels much more luxe than most lubes of this type; its viscosity is almost more akin to a thick silicone-based lube, though there are no silicones in it. I would happily use this for hand stuff, vag stuff, butt stuff, on toys and on dicks and on fingers… Gimme more!

Best for vaginal sex: Sliquid Organics Natural Gel (available at SheVibe, Come As You Are, and Peepshow)

Water-based lubes work great for vaginal sex because they don’t dry up when they can get re-lubricated by your natural bodily fluids throughout a session. This one is thick and gel-like, non-irritating, and not as expensive as Sutil, so it’s an absolute staple for me. And it comes in a pretty huge bottle that lasts me a long time.

Best for handjobs: The Butters (available at Peepshow)

You just can’t beat the all-natural slip-‘n’-slide of this oil-based formula for an HJ. It’s creamy, long-lasting, and it smells and tastes not-entirely-awful incase you’re gonna get your face down there afterward. It’s got a bit of grittiness to it, so it’s best if you or your partner like a little friction. It also sinks into the skin after a while, so it’s ideal if you enjoy a well-moisturized cock. Just don’t try to use it with condoms (oil breaks down latex), and at this point I’d recommend against using it vaginally because it may have given me an infection once or twice.

Best for handjobs (runner-up): Slippery Stuff Silicone Lubricant (available at SheVibe)

This is one of the thicker, more gel-like silicone lubes I’ve encountered, making it great for HJs. My partner says it feels luxurious and cushioned, so you can use it to stroke hard and fast without discomfort. They also say this one feels more like vaginal lubrication than the Butters, if you’re into that. However, like most (if not all) silicone-based lubes, it tastes pretty gross, so I would recommend against this one if you think your HJ is gonna transition into a BJ.

Best for butt stuff: Sliquid Silk (available at SheVibe, and Peepshow)

This hybrid lube – that is to say, mostly water-based, with a small amount of silicone mixed in – marries the longevity of silicone lubes to the cushiony slip of water-based ones, making it ideal for anal play. The silicone content is low enough that you can even use it with silicone toys (though you should spot-test beforehand to make sure), so it’s one of my faves for pegging.

 

What are your favorite lubes these days?