Review: Ppunson Tom 36-lb. realistic male torso sex doll

(My hickey in this photo is not from Tom 😉)

“What the fuck is this huge box?!??!?”

That’s what I shouted when the Ppunson 36-lb. realistic male torso sex doll arrived at my apartment. (Phew, his name is a mouthful. Just like his dick.)

You see, my email inbox can be a chaotic place, and I hadn’t realized Ppunson had decided to move ahead with a review, so I was genuinely baffled. “It’s probably a sex doll, right?” said my wife with a shrug. “I mean, what else would be this big?”

Indeed, when I tore open the box (and the multiple smaller boxes therein, matryoshka-style), I discovered a lifelike (though not exactly life-sized) sex doll with an enormous penis. My life is very weird. Let’s talk about this Ppunson doll. He’s referred to by the name “Tom” on the Ppunson website, so I’ll be referring to him as such in this review.

The day Tom arrived (photo by mb) – I am 5’4″, for reference!

Tech specs

Before we proceed, a few technical details on this barrel-chested marvel of sexy engineering:

  • Weight: Tom weighs 36 lbs, which is a little bit heavier than the dick-wielding sex doll I previously reviewed, the Tantaly Mark (33.6 lbs).
  • Height & width: Tom measures about 26 inches tall, from the bottom of his cut-off thighs to the top of his cut-off neck. He’s 29 inches wide at his widest point, which is his hips.
  • Dick: Tom’s dick is 8 inches long, and its widest diameter is about 1.6 inches.
  • Materials: Tom is made of thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), a squishy, lifelike, porous material. It also contains a flexible skeleton that allows it to be positioned in various ways.
  • Hole: Tom has a fuckable butthole, which goes 5 inches deep and is pleasantly textured like the inside of a Fleshlight. I don’t have a dick so I wasn’t able to test this aspect of the toy.
At rest in my office

Things I like about the Ppunson Tom:

  • Good dick firmness: When I reviewed a different sex doll previously, my top complaint was that its dick was so squishy I could hardly feel it inside me – but Tom has no such issues. Its dick is a nice blend of firm-versus-soft, akin to something like VixSkin – it’s not dual-density, but the bendable metal core feels firmer than the TPE surrounding it, which almost makes it feel dual-density. Orgasming with this doll’s dick inside me is satisfying and intense, because I can feel it being rhythmically squeezed like a stress ball with every vaginal contraction.
  • Firm chest is good for leverage: The other sex doll I’ve tried was so squishy that my fist would sink unsettlingly into its chest if I tried to push on that area for leverage while riding it, the way I often do when riding human partners. The Tom, by comparison, has a firmer body overall, so it actually holds its shape when I lean on it, and is therefore easier to ride.
  • Angle-adjustable dick: While the shape/curve of the dick can’t be altered and is always ultra-straight (of which more below), the angle at which it juts out from the doll’s body can be adjusted, which makes this doll a lot more versatile than most. For example, when I got too tired to keep riding Tom’s dick, I was able to lie down with my legs draped over his chest (sort of like this) and bend his dick downward so it would fit inside me. I could still grind up and down on his dick, but this position gave me a lot more room to use a vibrator on my clit, and was also a lot comfier for me, so I appreciated Tom’s phallic flexibility.
  • Beautiful realistic details: I wrote “pretty nipples” in my testing notes, and it’s true, they are quite pretty. Granted, I was probably only checking them out because the doll has no head/face so I had little else to look at while riding him, but still – I think most people are more visually oriented than I am, and would therefore appreciate these little touches! Tom’s dick is also veiny in a realistically droolworthy way, and his balls look remarkably real too.
  • Reasonably priced: Tom currently retails for $187 USD, less than half the price of the similar Tantaly doll I previously tested. It’s kind of wild that you can get a whole poseable torso, complete with fuckable butt and rideable dick, for less than the price of a high-end wand vibrator.
Obligatory dick-‘n’-balls close-up

Things I don’t like about the Ppunson Tom:

  • Porous material: Lots of sex dolls, including this one, are made out of porous materials like TPE or TPR – which is understandable, since it would presumably be cost-prohibitive to make a toy this large out of silicone – but it poses a number of problems, namely:
    • Hygiene issues: Porous materials can never be entirely sanitized, so once you’ve gotten your bodily fluids on/in this doll, you shouldn’t share it with anyone else unless you’re okay with being fluid-bonded with them. (For this reason, I used a condom on Tom’s dick while testing it, because a friend wants to adopt him after I’m done with my review.)
    • Durability: Porous materials don’t last as long as non-porous ones before they start to smell weird or fall apart, so you may need to replace your doll in a few years or so, depending on how often you use it and how well you take care of it.
    • Upkeep necessary: TPE sometimes starts to feel sticky/tacky and needs to be sprinkled with cornstarch after cleaning to maintain its smooth, soft texture. More upkeep tips here.
    • No silicone- or oil-based lubes: You can only use water-based lubes with this doll, which don’t last as long as alternatives and may therefore need to be reapplied more often.
    • Easily stained: Ppunson warns that you shouldn’t wear dark-colored or brand-new clothing when using your doll (and likewise shouldn’t dress the doll in anything brand-new or dark-colored), as clothing dyes can stain the porous material.
  • Dick too straight: Why don’t more sex doll companies make dolls with a curved dick?! I guess maybe they want the toy to be adaptable to various different positions, and a good curve for the missionary position is different from a good curve for doggie-style, for instance… but I found Tom’s dick to be so straight that it kept painfully poking me in the cervix, and I had to be careful about positioning to get it anywhere near my A-spot.
  • Bulky, heavy, hard to clean: As is standard for sex dolls, cleaning this guy is a rigamarole. Generally you’re gonna have to put him in a bathtub or shower to wash him, especially if you make use of his butthole – and I’m rarely in the mood to lug around 36 pounds of dead weight when I’ve just jerked off! It’s also obviously hard to store something this big, especially in a small apartment (under the bed is often a good spot).
  • Uncomfortable-looking back arch: I’m sure plenty of gay men (among others) would appreciate Tom’s impressive back arch when using him from behind, but I was mostly riding his dick, and every time I looked at his elaborately arched back, I couldn’t help but think, “Yikes, that looks uncomfortable,” which took me out of the moment a little.
  • No storage case: The Tom doll doesn’t come with any kind of carrying case or storage bag, which is annoying, especially given how easy it is to stain TPE and how hard it is to carry this thing around. Sure, you could keep it in one of the cardboard boxes it came in, but that’s not particularly protective and certainly not sexy, unless you’ve got a corrugation fetish!
  • Only one skin tone: Unfortunately this is pretty common in the realm of sex dolls, but this doll is only available in a Caucasian skin tone. So far as I can tell, that’s true of all the other Ppunson dolls, too.
This doll’s got cake 🍰

Final thoughts

A lot of the problems I have with the Ppunson Tom are problems I have with sex dolls in general: it’s heavy and bulky, annoying to clean, and made of a porous material. You’d be hard-pressed to find a sex doll that doesn’t have these drawbacks, especially for less than $300.

Indeed, Tom‘s $187 price tag makes me inclined to forgive most of his flaws. He costs less than half what my last big-dicked sex doll did, but his cock feels better inside me, he’s easier to use in various positions, and I find him more visually appealing than that other doll. I do wish that his dick wasn’t so straight, and that his spine wasn’t so alarmingly contorted, but overall, I’ve enjoyed testing him. Thanks to Ppunson for surprise-sending me this nude cutie – he’s one of the better uninvited guests I’ve had in a while!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of this product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: Lovense Exomoon lipstick vibrator

What is the Lovense Exomoon?

Reviewing a lipstick-shaped pressure-wave toy earlier this week made me realize – I’ve never reviewed the lipstick-shaped Lovense Exomoon vibe, even though it’s one of my favorite clitoral vibrators released in the last decade!

As far as Lovense toys go, this one is pretty simple. It’s basically just your standard bullet vibrator, except that it’s made to look like a lipstick, complete with red tapered tip and sleek removable cap. But it’s a great vibrator, and is easily the best lipstick-esque sex toy I’ve ever had the pleasure of using. Let’s discuss its many benefits and its very few shortcomings…

Things I like about the Lovense Exomoon:

  • Strong: These vibrations are impressively powerful, especially for such a petite vibe. I’ve taken the Exomoon with me while traveling on many occasions, and have never felt disappointed that I didn’t bring a bigger/stronger vibe instead, because the Exomoon has always gotten the job done. Its tip is made of silicone, but it’s firm enough that it doesn’t dull the vibrations, as with something like the squishy-tipped We-Vibe Touch X.
  • Rumbly-ish: While it definitely gets buzzier the more that you turn it up, for the most part the Exomoon vibrates at a satisfyingly rumbly (i.e. low-pitched) frequency. It’s not as rumbly as my beloved We-Vibe Tango X, but it’s still notably rumbly for its size, and can easily get me off, sometimes even through a layer or two of clothing, due to how stimulating it is.
  • Price: The Exomoon retails for $79, which is slightly cheaper than the comparable and excellent We-Vibe Tango X ($85). Sure, it’s pricier than your average bullet, but most bullets are buzzy and cheap-feeling (especially those that use disposable batteries), whereas both the Exomoon and Tango X feel high-quality and have a robust, rumbly motor that makes them worth the money.
  • Angled tip: Like the Tango X (and like most actual lipsticks), the Exomoon has an angled tip that tapers to a point. This gives you many different sensation options, depending on how you hold the toy. I mostly place the flat bit against my clitoral hood or inner labia for some indirect stimulation, but folks who prefer more intense/pinpointed sensations could use the very tip of the toy, whereas those who prefer broader sensations could just lay the toy flat against their junk.
  • Waterproof: The Exomoon is IPX7 waterproof, so you can use it in the shower, bath, etc. without issue – and I have!
  • Battery life: The Exomoon lasts up to 3 hours on a 2-hour charge. That’s notably longer than the comparable Tango X‘s 2-hour runtime, although the Tango takes only 90 minutes to charge.
  • Small & lightweight: The Exomoon’s tiny size allows it to fit neatly between bodies during sex. I also never struggle to hold onto the Exomoon, even on bad hand pain days.
  • Portable: Not only is the Exomoon small enough to easily be tucked into a pocket or purse; it also has a lipstick-like cap that helps protect the business end from dirt/dust in transit. I wish it also had a travel lock function, though.
  • Discreet: Unlike most other lipstick-esque sex toys, the Exomoon could actually be mistaken for a lipstick if someone spotted it in your bag or on your nightstand, so you wouldn’t be immediately outing yourself as owning as a vibrator.
  • Long-distance controllable: I don’t tend to use clitoral vibes this way because I like to control them myself, but it’s good to know that the Exomoon, like most other Lovense products, can be used long-distance via Lovense’s fantastic app.
  • Same charger as other Lovense toys: Surprisingly few sex toy companies do this – Lovense uses the same charging cable for most of their toys, including this one. May not matter to you if you only ever intend to own one Lovense toy, but if you own multiples, this is super convenient, especially when traveling.
L to R: MAC M·A·Cximal Sleek Satin lipstick in “Center of Attention” (a lovely gift from my friend Edzel ❤️), the Lovense Exomoon, and Pat McGrath MatteTrance lipstick in “Elson”

Things I don’t like about the Lovense Exomoon:

  • Only 3 steady speeds: If you’re just using the Exomoon as-is without connecting it to the Lovense app on your phone, you can press its one button to cycle through 3 steady speeds followed by 4 patterns. I strongly prefer vibes to have at least 8 steady speeds (as the Tango X does), since it allows for a more gradual/less jarring experience – but at least I can vary the vibration strength more minutely using the app when I really want to.
  • Noisy-ish: While not ridiculously loud, the Exomoon is louder than I’d prefer/expect of a vibe this size. I measured its decibel level using my Apple Watch and found that it tops out at about 61 db (roughly the volume of a dishwasher), whereas the Tango X never gets above 45 db (somewhere between a refrigerator and moderate rainfall). The Exomoon also sounds buzzier/more high-pitched than the Tango, so the noise is more noticeable and marginally more grating.
  • Name: You know I’m grasping at straws to come up with downsides when I bring up something as trivial as a product’s name! Seriously though, I don’t get why Lovense’s lipstick vibe is named after “a natural satellite that orbits an exoplanet or other non-stellar extrasolar body” instead of something lipstick-related. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Lovense Exomoon (center) once again surrounded by lipsticks

Final thoughts

I’m a big fan of the Lovense Exomoon! I think it’s a solid, decently-priced clitoral vibrator, with a fun aesthetic that’s cute without being cutesy. It’s strong and rumbly enough to always be able to get me off, and portable enough that I’ve taken it with me on many overnight stays and vacations.

I wish its presets included more than 3 steady speeds, and that it was a bit quieter. As-is, I think the We-Vibe Tango X is a slightly better vibe on most dimensions, so I would generally recommend that one instead. But if you prefer the Exomoon’s lipstick-y look, and/or you want the long-distance controllability offered by Lovense toys, I think the Exomoon is well worth considering. It gets my seal of approval! 💋

 

This post was not sponsored, although Lovense did send me the product for free back when it launched in 2022.

Behind the Seams: Bundled Up in Brooklyn

February 2nd, 2026

Wore this out to dinner with my wife, mb. My hair is chaotic because I was still a bit sad about a hard conversation I’d had to have with a friend a couple days before this, but mb took good care of me! Anyone remember this old Dildorks logo, drawn by Amy/Starboots? I still love it, even though we don’t really look like this anymore and have since switched to new album art by Addison Finch.

What I’m wearing:

  • Dildorks baseball tee – Zazzle circa 2017
  • Black cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Black ponte pants – Gap, gift from my mama
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag

February 4th, 2026

It was insanely cold in New York for much of January and February – and I say that as someone who grew up in Canada! I bundled up every time I left the house, and also had to layer my clothing carefully, even for quick jaunts to the local pizzeria or dispensary.

Here’s what I wore to go have drinks with my pal Brent (a.k.a. Brentalfloss, my Question Box cohost) at a bowling-themed bar called Gutter Bar. We regaled each other with various gossipy sagas from our personal and professional lives over IPAs. Pretty ideal, despite it being so cold outside that my eyelashes kept freezing over when I was en route!

What I’m wearing:

  • Pink cashmere sweater – J. Crew
  • Denim jumpsuit – Aritzia
  • Pink knit toque – gift from my mom
  • Pink leather Doc Martens
  • Prescription sunglasses – Zenni
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • Navy clitoris-shaped earrings – a now-defunct Etsy shop

February 6th, 2026

It’s always a good day (or night) to visit Boyfriend Co-Op, a lesbian bar/café overflowing with vintage furniture and mellow vibes. Went there with my wife on this day to celebrate some good news she’d received! We sat at the bar and sipped lovely cocktails over great conversation.

What I’m wearing:

  • Blue “Slut for Kindness” T-shirt – Supriya x Eva Bloom
  • Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Skinny jeans – thrifted
  • Blue metallic Doc Martens
  • Black knit toque with ghost logo – Vaultboy merch
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag

February 7th, 2026

Another outfit for a low-key dinner with the wife, if I recall correctly. We may have been going to Santa Panza. (Their ragu mafaldine pasta is my favorite comfort meal currently. Preferably with a Paper Plane or two!)

What I’m wearing:

  • Black blazer – thrifted
  • Red T-shirt – thrifted
  • Black pants – Gap, via my mom
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Silver hoop earrings

February 8th, 2026

Another way-too-cold day. One thing I learned, growing up in Toronto (and occasionally having to schlep to 8 a.m. university lectures on the streetcar in the middle of winter), is that comfort is ultimately more important to me than looking cute. It sucks when you’re trying to have a good time with pals but you can’t stay present because your teeth are chattering and your knees are knocking together! I still aim to strike a balance between coziness and cuteness, as seen here – but when push comes to shove, practicality has to win out, ’cause you know what’s not cute? Frostbite!!

What I’m wearing:

  • Black cashmere Ralph Lauren sweaterdress – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend circa 2009
  • Black modal nightgown (layered underneath, for warmth & coverage) – Calvin Klein Sleepwear
  • Black woollen tights
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • Navy clitoris-shaped earrings

…and incase you were wondering what it looked like when I went out:

…Here’s a bonus outerwear shot of the same outfit! Additions include:

  • Bright turquoise long goosedown coat – bought from Land’s End several years ago; my friend Casia once told me that this makes me look like I’m wearing a sleeping bag, but it is extremely warm, so it’s worth it!
  • Navy knit cowl – Yokoo (absolutely obsessed, big recommend, it is one of the main things getting me through this winter)
  • Black knit toque with ghost logo – Vaultboy merch

February 10th, 2026

mb and I were celebrating our 8-year collarversary, i.e. 8 years since she first put a collar on me! Our collars have always been blue because it’s a special color in our relationship history, so I always wear blue to celebrate this day.

It was a perfect date night: first, mb took me to dinner at Le Crocodile, the French restaurant in the lobby of the Wythe Hotel, which is where we were staying together when she first collared me. I didn’t realize that’s where we were going, and I practically burst into tears when we got there! Then we went to see the Improvised Shakespeare Company perform. They were transcendent; I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe. Improv is also very romantic for me and mb, because we’ve both always loved it and we saw some New York improv together on our second date, way back in 2018 💙 Thanks to mb for planning such a beautiful evening for us!

What I’m wearing:

  • Blue crushed velvet dress – Forever 21, many years ago; bought to wear to our first collarversary date, if I recall correctly!
  • Blue cashmere cardigan – Gap
  • Black leggings – Gap
  • Blue metallic Doc Martens
  • Tiffany & Co. dog collar – a gift from my love
  • …& barely visible: a great Agent Provocateur bra, because sometimes cleavage can pull a whole look together 😉

February 13th, 2026

Another wonderful date night with da wifey: we had pizza at Roberta’s and then watched Sinners, which was fantastic. At the pizzeria, they were having a “My Bloody Valentine”-themed party, so lots of the servers had fake blood spattered all over them (which might’ve been marinara sauce, for all I know), and a tattoo artist was doing Valentine-y flash tattoos in the back room. I love Brooklyn.

What I’m wearing:

  • Magic Wand T-shirt – Pen & Kink
  • Black flared jeans – Gap
  • Black leather Frye harness boots
  • Black leather vintage Coach Willis bag
  • New red prescription glasses – Zenni

February 14th, 2026

Valentine’s Day outfit! Y’all know I love to dress in a Valentine-y manner and will take any excuse to do so, so I had fun putting this look together, as ever. I had also just received a new push-up bra in the mail from Victoria’s Secret, which was fortuitous timing 😂

What I’m wearing:

  • Red tank top – gift from my mama
  • Red pencil skirt – American Apparel like a decade ago
  • Black leggings – Gap
  • Red cowboy boots with stars on them – a hand-me-down from my high school girlfriend’s mom in 2008 or so
  • Red suit jacket – borrowed from my wife; it’s part of a suit she had custom-made by Alan David to officiate a wedding (I wish the pants fit me too, ’cause I would’ve just worn the whole suit instead!)

What clothes/outfits have you been loving lately, my darlings?

10 Products for a More Pleasant Period

Having your period sucks. This is known. I’ve been menstruating for over two decades and I still can’t believe it sometimes: You mean to tell me I’ll spend one week of every month bleeding from my genitals, hobbling around in horrible pain, and bursting into tears at the slightest provocation?! And I have to do this for at least another twenty years?! Wild stuff. I can scarcely think of a weirder curse that could be placed on a person!

However, there are a few magical items that help me through my period each month (or however often I get one – my periods have always been annoyingly irregular!). I thought I’d share ’em with you here today incase they’re of use to any fellow miserable menstruators. For those about to bleed: I salute you! Here’s what helps me most…

1. A good menstrual cup

No shade if you use tampons or pads, but I switched to a menstrual cup when I was in high school and can’t imagine going back at this point. There’s definitely a learning curve when you first start using one – so give yourself at least 2 cycles to figure it out! – but if you do, you might find, as I have, that cups are more comfortable than tampons, cause less vaginal irritation, and are often far more convenient than disposables. They’re certainly more environmentally friendly, and (in the long run) a whole lot cheaper!

Currently, my favorite cup is the Diva Disc (you can read my detailed thoughts on it here), though I’ve also enjoyed more traditionally-shaped cups by Yuuki and MeLuna over the years. Here’s a blog post I wrote containing all my menstrual cup advice from my decades of using one. I try not to be an evangelist, but it’s hard when cups are truly so much better (IMO) than the alternatives!

2. Midol or similar

Thanks to my mama for introducing me to this miracle drug when I was a tiny pubescent bb! I still get hellish menstrual cramps to this day, and Midol is one of the only things that puts a dent in ’em (along with a few other items on this list).

Acetaminophen (a.k.a. Tylenol) is the main ingredient in this med, but it also contains an antihistamine to reduce inflammation, as well as a bit of caffeine. The caffeine is mostly in there as a diuretic to reduce bloating/swelling, but I also find it blessedly helpful for combating the heavy fatigue I encounter during my period. I take 1-2 Midol pills 2-3 times a day during the first few days of my period, and it makes a massive difference for me.

3. An electric heating pad

Currently my wife is away visiting one of her other partners, and when I told her that my period had just arrived and I was stuck in bed due to horrible cramps, she texted, “I wish I could get you some tea and your heating pad.” It made me cry, because of all the times she has indeed brought me my heating pad when I needed it most!

I just have a cheap one from Amazon, but it’s so helpful that I often bring it with me when I travel, just incase. I used to use one of those microwaveable ones instead, but when my fatigue is really high, I often struggle even just to walk to the microwave and back, so it’s great to have an electric one I can activate with the press of a button. I bring my heating pad with me all around the house during the first couple days of my period – on the couch, at my desk, in bed, etc. – and it helps make my cramps more manageable, plus it just feels nice, especially in the winter.

4. Epsom salts

When my pain is so bad that I can barely function, I’ll often take a bath. Epsom salts help with pain and also just smell good. Not much else to say here – I always keep a bag or two on hand, and they always serve me well!

5. Weed gummies

Weed in all forms, really. It’s even more of a miracle drug than Midol is. But right now I’m especially enjoying the Pain AM and Pain PM gummies by 1906, which the brand recently sent me to try. Generally I find that weed doesn’t lessen my pain so much as it lessens how much I care about the fact that I’m in pain, and these gummies are no exception, although they do also contain extracts that are supposed to reduce inflammation and thereby reduce pain. Plus they’re fruit-flavored. Yum.

6. Kind period patches

Another product that a brand sent me to try – these are patches that you stick onto your skin and leave on for 8+ hours. Honestly, it’s hard to tell if it’s a placebo effect with these, but I think they help?! Among other ingredients, they contain chamomile extract, which is said to reduce pain, and magnesium, which is said to support restful sleep. In any case, it’s become a running joke between me and my wife that sometimes she will undress me before sex and discover a random Kind patch somewhere on my body 😂

7. Cute red loungewear & underwear

A must! I’m always worried about blood spillage during my period, so it helps to have ultra-comfy loungewear that’s either red or dark-colored, so it won’t get ruined by errant splatters. Most of my favorite clothing in this category is by MeUndies and Calvin Klein Sleepwear.

8. A wand vibrator

Wands are useful in so many scenarios, and menstruation is definitely one such scenario! I use my Magic Wand Rechargeable almost daily when menstruating – it’s strong enough to get me off even through pants + underwear, so I can masturbate with minimal mess – and, incase you haven’t heard the good news: orgasms release endorphins, which help alleviate menstrual pain! I’ll also sometimes apply a wand directly to my lower back or lower belly to ease cramps as needed. When I want to use a vibe in the bath, I go with the Magic Wand Waterproof instead.

9. The Hole Punch Fluke vaginal plug

Sometimes I get ravenously horny during my period but can’t be bothered with the messiness involved in using a dildo at that time – so I’ll use my beloved Fluke instead! It’s a plug, so you can sort of “set it and forget it” – it provides passive G-spot stimulation without you needing to thrust it in and out. It’s less liable to leave a puddle of blood on your bedsheets, because there’s less jostling around compared to a dildo and it semi-blocks the flow of blood temporarily while you’re using it. A must-have for lazy menstrual masturbators!

10. A Liberator Throw or similar

Sure, you could lay down a towel before masturbating or having sex, but blood has been known to soak through towels from time to time – so if you want real peace of mind, you’ll need a sheet with a waterproof core, like the Liberator Throw. (Used to be called the Throe, but I guess they decided SEO matters more than a good pun!)

I find the Throw especially useful when I’m craving G-spot stimulation during my period, because – have you ever squirted while on your period?! It is extremely messy! But when I’ve got a Throw underneath me, I know I can go hog-wild without ruining my sheets. Thanks, Liberator; you have indeed liberated me, in this case from doing a whole lotta laundry!

 

For those of you who menstruate: which products help you the most at that time?

Review: Chalovelo Lipsip pressure-wave stimulator

What is the Chalovelo Lipsip?

I am a femme, known for both wearing lipstick and writing about lipstick’s sexual applications – so it always catches my eye when sex toy companies make products that look like lipstick!

I’ve tried a few vibrators along these lines, the best of which is the Lovense Exomoon – but the Chalovelo Lipsip is different, because it’s a pressure-wave simulator, not a vibrator. That means it stimulates the clitoris with rhythmic air waves, creating a sensation that’s somewhere between tapping and mild suction. Let’s see if it performed as well as my favorite lipsticks do…

Things I like about the Chalovelo Lipsip:

  • Multiple attachments: The Lipsip comes with 3 different attachments: one for small-to-medium-sized clits (0.43″ diameter), one for medium-to-slightly-larger clits (0.55″ diameter), and one that is angled (0.51″ diameter). It’s great to have options for this type of toy, because clitoral size and shape are so variable. The better a pressure-wave toy fits your clit, the better it can form a seal, which allows these toys to stimulate you in the way they do. (I wouldn’t recommend this one for folks with large and/or testosterone-enhanced clits, though, unless you want a toy that mainly just focuses on the tip and not the shaft.)
  • 7 intensity settings: While the Lipsip’s website claims it has 9 intensity settings, it actually has 7 intensity settings followed by 3 patterns. However, even 7 is impressive for a toy at this price point ($50), and I appreciate the huge variance between the first setting’s low-and-slow tickle and the highest setting’s buzzier thumping. This toy could be a good option for people who have found other pressure-wave toys too intense, because this one starts out very mild and builds up from there.
  • Rumbly/thumpy: The quality/timbre of these pressure-waves is pleasantly low-pitched, so it stimulates my clit in a way that feels more full-bodied (and thus more enjoyable) than some other pressure-wave toys at this price point. It can feel really good, especially when I’m already turned on by the time I start using the Lipsip.
  • Low battery indicator: It’s rare for toys at this price point to have a way of notifying you when their battery is low, but it’s a crucial feature for avoiding ruined orgasms, IMO, so I appreciate that the Lipsip has one! (Its battery lasts about 1 hour on a charge, by the way, which is okay but not great.)
Size comparison with an actual lipstick (Cherry Lush by Tom Ford, my MVP)

Things I don’t like about the Chalovelo Lipsip:

  • Not strong enough: I repeatedly tried to get off with this toy, and it just wasn’t strong enough to get me there. It felt okay-to-good most of the time I was using it; it just didn’t have the chutzpah I needed, ultimately. This was made even more frustrating by this next drawback…
  • Patterns: Once you reach the Lipsip’s highest speed, clicking its one button again will switch to a rhythmic pattern. But there’s no way to know when you’ve reached the highest speed (and, as I just described, it isn’t even all that high), so it would be all too easy to ruin your orgasm by hitting the button at a crucial moment. Toy designers, I beg of you, make patterns accessible only via their own separate button, or don’t include them at all, please!
  • Lipstick-inspired design: Look, it’s a cute idea, and could theoretically make this product more discreet – if not for the fact that it’s about 50% bigger than an actual tube of lipstick, so only the most cosmetically inexperienced onlookers would ever mistake it for an actual makeup product. The “lipstick cap” could’ve been a useful innovation for keeping out dust/dirt when you travel with the toy, except that the cap pops off at the slightest provocation (unlike most real lipstick caps, which take their protective duties seriously!).
  • Not waterproof: The Lipsip is IPX6 water-resistant, so you can wash it in the sink or use it in the shower, but shouldn’t submerge it in water. I gotta ding this toy for not being waterproof because I love to use pressure-wave toys in the bath, and always wish I could!
  • Noisy: On its highest setting, the Lipsip would be audible (albeit faintly) through a closed door. Most of its settings would certainly be audible to someone who was in the same room as you.

Final thoughts

As a femme and a comedy fan, I enjoy the Chalovelo Lipsip‘s commitment to the bit – that “bit” being its resemblance to a tube of lipstick. That said, I’m not sure this is the ideal form factor for a pressure-wave toy – and if you’re gonna make a product with a removable cap on it, please ensure the cap will stay on when the toy is riding around in my pocket/purse!

Gotta say, though, I admire Chalovelo’s decision to include three different attachments with this toy, especially at a $50 price point (which is fairly low for a pressure-wave toy). It’s always lovely to see a sex toy company thoughtfully accounting for the broad range of bodies out there. To that end, I also love that the Lipsip starts low and slow, for those of us who like to increase stimulation gently and gradually throughout a session. Its pressure-waves also feel delightfully thumpy/low-pitched, in relation to some other comparable pressure-wave toys; my clit approves.

My clit is, however, less thrilled about this toy just not being strong enough to make me come. (Today I whipped out my Pulse Queen to finish the job, if you must know!) I also wish it had more than one button, to reduce the risk of ruined orgasms when you inadvertently switch from steady speeds into patterns. But if you’re shopping for a beginner-friendly pressure-wave toy on a budget, you could do worse than the sleek, chic Lipsip. Like a beautiful babe in a bold lip, or a sucker-punch right in the kisser, the Lipsip might just make you weak in the knees.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.