I Tried LubeLife’s New Dill Pickle-Flavored Lube!

Kate Sloan

Did you know that apparently Gen Z is obsessed with pickles? Reminds me of the era when my own generation, millennials, were disproportionately enamored with bacon, spawning countless bacon-centric memes and jokes. Cultural trends can be so strange!

To be honest, I understand the passion for pickles even more than I understood the bacon fixation. I love me a salty snack, and few things are saltier than pickles. For years, my go-to cocktail has been a dirty martini, and while it’s normally dirtied up with olive brine, I’ve come to appreciate pickle-brine martinis just as much, if not more. The dill flavor lends an herbal savoriness that makes my little Polish-Jewish heart sing! (My fave pickles are by Grillo’s, incase you were wondering…)

All this to say, when I recently received a press release from lubricant company LubeLife about their newest launch – a limited-edition PICKLE-FLAVORED LUBE – I shrieked at my laptop and hit ‘reply’ so fast I practically pulled a muscle. (…the pain of which incidentally could’ve been alleviated by eating pickles. What can’t they do?!)

A pickle-themed press mailer

About a week later, a package arrived for me. Inside was a pickle-shaped stress ball, a pickle-shaped pen, a pickle-shaped vibrator(!), some pickle stickers (which sounds like slang for tools you’d use in a CBT scene…), green socks that say “big pickle energy,” a green pickle-emblazoned baseball cap that says “not my first pickle,” and la pièce de résistance: the pickle-flavored lube itself.

I jammed the jaunty hat onto my head immediately, and brought the lube to my wife so we both could taste it.

What’s it taste like?

As soon as my wife and I both sampled the lube, we looked at each other wide-eyed, like, “Oh damn! That’s better than I expected!” I thought it was pretty good, but my wife (admittedly not usually a flavored lube enjoyer) announced that it was probably the best flavored lube she’d ever tried.

Let me be clear: You will not like this lube if you don’t like dill pickles. I mean, duh. But I’m telling you, you really won’t. This lube is only for connoisseurs of these particular savory flavors. It doesn’t just taste salty; it actually tastes like dill – both the sweeter and savorier aspects of that flavor profile – as well as some of the other ingredients often found in dill pickle brine, such as garlic. If I were a lube sommelier with terrifically tuned-in tastebuds, perhaps I could pick out some subtler flavors therein – mustard seed, coriander, black peppercorns? – but my palate is more plebeian than that, so mostly I just taste dill and garlic.

Ultimately, the garlic note made it hard for me to love this lube beyond that initial taste-test. The same way it does in culinary applications, that taste tends to linger longer than lots of others, including the dill-y sweetness that initially seems like the lube’s main flavor. I don’t love walking around with a mouth tasting like garlic, especially if I’m gonna be making out/having sex, but I know some people who adore garlic and would probably dig this!

The martini test

My wife and I are big cocktail fans, and (as I mentioned up top) one of my favorites is a dirty martini. I’ve made myself dozens of pickle-brine dirty martinis at home over the last few years, and really enjoy the way gin and vermouth balance out the saltiness of the brine – so I thought, why not try LubeLife’s pickle lube in a martini, instead of traditional brine?

My wife suggested I make a tiny, scaled-down drink, since she (wisely) didn’t want me to waste too much good liquor on what might turn out to be a disgusting experiment… so I mixed a quarter-size martini: half an ounce of London dry gin, a quarter-ounce of Dolin dry vermouth, and a couple little squirts of pickle lube. I stirred ’em with an ice cube for chill and dilution (or dill-ution, if you will…), and then strained the mixture into a teensy little cocktail glass and brought it to my wife for tasting.

“I’m not mad at it,” she said with a shrug when she tried it. We agreed that the lube’s otherwise sharp flavor profile is pleasantly rounded out in the context of a martini – the dill and garlic were definitely still perceptible, but were significantly toned down, a fun embellishment rather than the dominant flavor. Perhaps that’s how this lube tastes best: diluted, whether by booze or bodily fluids. Speaking of which…

The sex test + a word of warning

Quite reasonably, neither of my partners were willing to let me test out this lube on their actual junk, because flavored lubes are somewhat risky from a genital health perspective. This pickle lube contains sucralose, an artificial sweetener, as well as glycerin, both of which can irritate the vagina. As such, I’d recommend only using flavored lubes externally (i.e. on/around a clit, labia, dick, balls, or anal opening), and switching to a more standard lube formula if you want to do some penetration. (My favorite, as ever, is Sutil Rich.)

That being said, a savory lube like this one is probably a better pairing with genital tastes than many other flavored lubes would be. As my friend Billy Lore often says, “Strawberry lube on a dick isn’t just gonna taste like strawberries, it’s gonna taste like strawberries and dick” – and with that being the case, it makes sense to choose a lube that will pair harmoniously with the taste of dick and/or pussy, rather than clashing with it. I tried some of this lube alongside a dash of my own vaginal fluids, and found that the two worked well together, like prosecco and oysters – they were vaguely in the same flavor family and thus actually elevated one another. And isn’t that kind of the ideal scenario when it comes to a flavored lube?

 

What do you think, dear readers? Would you ever try a pickle-flavored lube? Do you think this is a terrible idea, or a great one?

 

This post was NOT sponsored, I really just wanted to ramble at you about pickle lube. LubeLife did send me the product for free, though.

Gorgeous Dildos at (Temporarily) Discounted Prices!

Kate Sloan
The Uberrime Night King (pink/red), Amante (blue), and Senos (green)

The other night, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend and I opened one of the storage drawers under my bed and started looking for a dildo he could fuck me with. He picked up the Uberrime Senos and said, “Is this the one I fucked you with last time?”

I shook my head and pointed at the Uberrime Amante, saying, “No, that was this one.”

Eventually we settled on the Uberrime Night King, a long-time favorite of mine – and I subsequently came all over it so hard that I burst into cathartic tears. Damn, that’s a good dildo! (Helps that a cute person with strong arms was wielding it, of course…!)

I’m telling you this story because it perfectly illustrates how much I adore the sex toy company Uberrime. This weekend only, they’re having a sale where everything is 15% off, including both custom and ready-made toys. Just use the code SUMMER15 and you’re good to go!

But of course, I’m not expecting you to fend for yourself, throwing dildos into your cart indiscriminately (although you could…) – here are my current top picks from the extensive Uberrime catalogue!

I mentioned the Night King already (it’s the one my boyfriend recently railed me with…) but it bears repeating: this is a bloody excellent dildo. I actually own two of them, one in blue and grey and one in a stunning “lovecore”-inspired red and pink colorway. It’s one of the best toys I’ve ever found for A-spot stimulation, due to its unusually generous length (8″ insertable), upward curve, and slightly tapered tip. But it doesn’t just pleasure my A-spot – the ripply texture along its shaft massages my vaginal walls, and its stark coronal ridge feels great on my G-spot when thrusted more shallowly.

There are many Uberrime toys which excel in a strap-on harness, but the Night King is the one I’ve been fucked with the most, by far. Its formidable length allows partners to hit my A-spot with it, regardless of what position we’re in or what kind of harness they have on, while leaving enough space between our bodies for me to use a clitoral vibe so I can get off. It’s pretty ideal; I’m kind of obsessed with it!

Image via Uberrime

Speaking of A-spot toys, I’m drooling just looking at the Aptus, a dildo designed expressly for that purpose. I’ve always gotten the sense from Uberrime that they take user feedback into account constantly, and this feels like the kind of dildo one could only create if one either liked A-spot stimulation oneself, or had listened carefully to the commentary of people who do. It’s got the exact kind of curve and tapering that a great A-spot toy requires, and just like the Night King above, it boasts 8 inches of insertable length, so it’ll be able to reach that spot regardless of where you are in your arousal cycle and/or menstrual cycle. Damn… Might’ve talked myself into buying one 😂

Image via Uberrime

I was pleasantly surprised by the Fingo clit grinder, which Uberrime sent me a while back. I don’t really consider my clit large enough to be able to penetrate anything, even when it’s hard, but I do enjoy a BJ-esque suction technique when receiving oral, so I’d wondered if I might like a toy that surrounds my clit similarly to how a mouth can. Once I got myself turned on and lubed up the Fingo, I enjoyed ‘fucking’ in and out of it with my clit. I don’t think I could get off that way, but it was a fun, pleasurable tease! I’d be curious to know what a transmasculine person would think of this one – I imagine it’d be too small for some T-dicks, but might work really well for others.

Image via Uberrime

The Astra looks like the perfect strap-on-compatible dildo with which to fuck someone who likes G-spot or prostate stimulation. That elongated, flat head would massage either of those spots beautifully, especially if you choose one of the firmer silicone formulations Uberrime offers. Many strap-on sex connoisseurs will love the wide variety of color options available, too – your strap-on setup is part of your sexual self-expression, so it should be something you feel sexy in, whether you go with bright red, plain black, a realistic skin tone, or a loud color combo that makes your heart sing.

Image via Uberrime

Speaking of interesting color options, I love that Uberrime makes packers in various eclectic colors, not just skin tones. If your gender feels more expansive than the typical binary allows for, you might well want a technicolor dick – like maybe the Uberrime Esse packer in a bold red-yellow swirl, or a unicorny candy-floss gradient. Cute!

Image via Uberrime

I’ve enjoyed the Suavis vaginal plug, but am currently curious about this one, the Sensi. It looks like it would press against my G-spot effortlessly once inserted, which is exactly what I’m craving when I reach for a vaginal plug (my go-to is the Hole Punch Fluke, FYI!). This type of toy pairs excellently with oral sex; it’s a lot easier for me to get off from someone going down on me when my G-spot is being automatically massaged every time my internal muscles clench!

Well, there you have it – my top picks from Uberrime. Don’t forget to use the code SUMMER15 to get 15% off your order, this weekend only! And why not pick a weird color you wouldn’t normally get? Life’s too short for boring dildos, if you ask me!

Review: Velora Luxe Bullet vibrator

Kate Sloan

What is the Velora Luxe Bullet vibrator?

Sex toy retailer Velora’s Place sent me their Luxe Bullet to review. It’s a rechargeable vibrator made of silicone and plastic. Like other bullets, it’s on the smaller side of the vibrator spectrum (3.15″ long by 0.8″ wide). It’s currently being sold for $20.99.

Things I like about the Velora Luxe Bullet:

  • Strong enough: It’s no jackhammer or Magic Wand, but I was surprised by this thing’s power output, given its low price and diminutive size. I never had a problem coming with it, sometimes even through underwear and/or sleep shorts.
  • Not horribly buzzy: While the Luxe Bullet certainly isn’t as rumbly (i.e. low-pitched and deeply stimulating) as some higher-end bullets like the We-Vibe Tango X, it’s also not anywhere near as annoyingly buzzy (i.e. high-pitched and numbing) as I would generally expect for a vibe at this price point. As I said above, I was consistently able to reach orgasm with it – and I had enough clitoral sensitivity left at that point that the orgasms were good, not muted. Impressive for such an affordable toy!
  • Petite: Like other bullets, the Luxe Bullet is small and thus more easily maneuverable than a chonkier vibrator. It can work well between bodies during sex, and easily fits into a purse or pocket. (A couple caveats, though: it lacks a travel lock function, which would make it more portable, and it’s also too big to fit into slots designed for standard-sized bullet vibes, such as those found in the base of some dildos.)
  • Price: Despite its bougie-sounding name, the Luxe Bullet currently retails for just $20.99. I’m always glad to see an actually-decent vibe at a budget-friendly price. It has its flaws, as I’ll get into below, but overall it performs quite well for a $21 vibrator!
  • Rechargeable: It’s cool to see a rechargeable vibe at this price point, since generally I’d expect vibes under $30 to run on disposable batteries. This toy charges via a convenient little USB cable.

Things I don’t like about the Velora Luxe Bullet:

  • Only 3 steady speeds: Not that I would expect much more from a $21 vibrator, but the Luxe Bullet has just 3 steady speeds, followed by 7 patterns. I always prefer at least 8 steady speeds, as it expands your sensation options and makes the jumps between speeds less jarring. It’s also annoying to have to cycle through all the patterns, using the toy’s one button, to get back to the first speed again.
  • Inconsistent patterns: Of the Luxe Bullet’s 7 patterns, only 3 maintain a steady rhythm with minimal pauses between buzzes. The other 4 patterns might be suitable for people who like unpredictability or the fun(?) frustration of edging, but that ain’t me, so I got annoyed with these, especially since you have to cycle through all of them to get back to the first vibration speed.
  • Basic shape: I generally prefer bullets that have either a pointed tip or a flat/angled one, as this gives more sensation options (you can, for example, use the tip of such a toy when you want a more pinpointed sensation, and hold it sideways when you want a more diffuse/broad feeling). The Luxe Bullet has a uniform thickness of 20 mm (about 0.8 inches) along its whole length, so if you prefer slimmer/more precise stimulation than that, you should look elsewhere.
  • Color: Brown is certainly an unusual shade for a vibrator, so I’ll give ’em points for originality, but in this particular size and shape, it ends up looking a bit faecal, which is, shall we say, not my kink. Other color options are available, though!
  • Noise level: As is to be expected for a vibe at this price point, it makes a definitely-audible buzzing noise, and is not, as its marketing copy claims, “whisper-quiet” by any means. However, it probably wouldn’t be detectable from another room if the door was closed and you were playing white noise or music to cover the sound.
  • Vibrates fingers: I sometimes experienced numbness or discomfort in my hand/fingers when using the Luxe Bullet, because (as is common for vibes of this size/shape) the vibrations are conducted through the entire toy, not just the tip. Folks with hand pain/discomfort might struggle to comfortably keep a good grip on this toy.
  • Presumably not waterproof: Since there’s no mention anywhere of the Luxe Bullet being waterproof, I have to assume it isn’t, which makes it a little trickier to clean and also limits the environments in which you can use it. But, again, that’s to be expected for a $21 vibrator.

Final thoughts

The Luxe Bullet is a notably better vibrator than I was expecting, for a $21 toy! I’d happily recommend this for a beginner on a budget who wants a vibe for external stimulation (it’s not really suitable for vaginal or anal penetration due to its small size, straight shape, and lack of a flared base). It delivers decently strong vibrations for its petite form factor, and will do the job well for many folks. I wish we’d had this in stock when I was working sex toy retail in my twenties – I’m sure I would’ve sold a bunch of them!

It has its issues, but overall, the Luxe Bullet is indeed more luxe than one would think, given its low pricetag. Yay for affordable orgasms!

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Review: OhMiBod Esca 2

Kate Sloan

What is the OhMiBod Esca 2?

The sex toy company OhMiBod was one of the original pioneers of remotely-controllable toys, and they still make great ones to this day. The one I’m reviewing today is the Esca 2, a G-spot vibrator designed to be “worn” vaginally. Via the OhMiBod app, this toy can be controlled either locally or remotely, so it’s great for public play scenes or long-distance sex.

The Esca 2 is made of silicone and ABS plastic, has a total length of 7.3″ and a max diameter of 1.3″, and has a Bluetooth range of 26 feet.

Things I like about the OhMiBod Esca 2:

  • Strong, rumbly vibration: A vibrator’s motor is its most important quality, so I’m thrilled that OhMiBod clearly put effort into making this one great! The rumbliness of the Esca’s motor ensures that I never feel desensitized to its vibrations, even after a longer session – and there’s a wide range of vibration intensities available, from low to high.
  • Amazing app and connectivity: The remote-controllability of the Esca 2 is its main draw, and accordingly, OhMiBod’s app – available for iOS and Android – is excellent. It offers several different ways to control the toy’s vibrations – you can sync it up with music or sound (more on that in a moment), tap or swipe to create your own patterns, and try pre-programmed patterns. I also found that the Esca paired to my phone instantly when I turned it on, and stayed connected the entire time I was using it – no troubleshooting required whatsoever.
  • Sound-responsive mode: I had a lot of fun playing with the app mode that makes vibrations respond to music or other sounds. Some other companies have made versions of this feature which I’ve found finicky and inconsistent, but OhMiBod offers the genius innovation of allowing you to adjust both the intensity of the vibrations and the sensitivity of the audio-sensing – so, whether you want your vibe to respond to your partner’s voice murmuring to you in bed, or to a DJ’s larger-than-life set at a music festival (or anything in between), you can configure this vibe to make it happen. I actually found the music mode to be the best way for the Esca to achieve steadily rhythmic vibration, since it doesn’t offer that on its own (more on that later).
  • Easy to use surreptitiously in public: Perhaps more than any other “wearable” vibrator I’ve tested, the Esca 2 can easily be used in public without constantly having to readjust, reconnect, etc. For one thing, the toy can stay in standby mode for a very long time, so if you pause your public scene for a bit (like if the waiter comes back with your drinks), you won’t need to dash to the bathroom to turn the vibe back on. The vibration intensity can be changed using the physical volume buttons on your phone, rather than just via the app, so once the toy is paired and turned on, you don’t even need to unlock your phone to control it thereafter – you could even control it while your phone’s still in your pocket! The vibe is also fairly quiet in use, and its LED light can be disabled by pressing its button twice once it’s turned on. All of this adds up to it being a great option for discreet public play.
  • Stays in place well: I never experienced any slippage while testing the Esca, which sets it apart from many other wearable vibes. I even went for a 45-minute walk with the Esca inside me once, after already having an orgasm on it, to test whether the combo of wetness, gravity, and motion would cause an embarrassing incident in public… and I didn’t feel it slipping at all, ever. Kudos to these toy designers!
  • Long battery life: With the Esca 2, you’ll get about 3 hours of use from a 90-minute charge, which is great.

Things I don’t like about the OhMiBod Esca 2:

  • Patterns aren’t consistent enough: My #1 complaint about this toy is that its own built-in patterns are somewhat erratic, like a clumsy lover: often changing things up instead of staying the course. Even when I tried to make my own patterns for more consistency, there would be (at minimum) a short pause in between loops. The only way I found to keep the vibrations rhythmically consistent for more than 10ish seconds at a time was to sync the toy up to music, as described above.
  • No clit stimulation: Not that I would expect it from a G-spot-centric toy, but the Esca doesn’t really get anywhere near my clit. Even when I position its external arm there, almost no vibration conducts through it. So, if you or your partner require clit stimulation to get off (as the majority of people with vulvas do), you may want to pair the Esca 2 with a clitorally-focused wearable vibe like the Lovense Ferri. Personally I don’t mind a bit of a tease during public play, since I would find it too difficult to reach orgasm in that environment anyway, but your mileage may vary.
  • Not waterproof: You gotta be careful when washing the Esca 2, and avoid using it in the shower/bath/hot tub/etc., because it’s not waterproof.
  • Not anal-compatible: Possibly goes without saying, but just incase you were considering it, the Esca 2 is not anal-safe. Something like the Lovense Edge would be a better bet for that usage.

Final thoughts

Thanks to today’s sponsor, Evolution Zone, for sending me the OhMiBod Esca 2 to try out! I enjoyed it a lot more than I was expecting to, because most wearable vibes are weak, buzzy, and unreliable, whereas the Esca 2 has none of those problems: its vibrations are wonderfully strong and rumbly, its app is astonishingly well-built, and its Bluetooth connectivity worked great during all my testing sessions.

I wish this toy had some consistent vibration patterns; the lack of them is really its only major drawback. But if you’re just looking for a dependable vibe for some public teasing ‘n’ edging, or a G-spot vibe for long-distance play, I think the Esca 2 will serve you well.

 

This post was sponsored, meaning I was paid to write a fair and honest review of the product. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

3 Fascinating Facts from Sex Doll Science

Kate Sloan
Pictured: the Rowan doll from YourDoll

Y’all know that I love me some sexual science – so when sex doll company YourDoll reached out to partner with me on a post, I knew immediately that I wanted to do a scientific deep-dive on sex dolls! Turns out there’s a surprising amount of scholarship on the subject – here are 3 interesting facts I discovered, for your sex-nerdy amusement.

1. Some asexual people own sex dolls

Yep – just like sex dolls themselves, ace people contain multitudes! In a 2022 paper published in the Journal of Future Robot Life, the Dutch anthropologist Roanne van Voorst wrote about a woman she interviewed who is asexual-identified but (paradoxically?) owns a sex doll.

The woman described having purchased a sex doll for a thousand euros, amidst a lonely lockdown in the early pandemic years. Although she explained that she is one of the many asexuals who sometimes masturbate (albeit in a perfunctory, “non-erotic” way), she said that her relationship to her doll wasn’t sexual at all – she found comfort and enjoyment in dressing up the doll, brushing its hair, taking photos of it, and lying with her head in its lap. Doll ownership had indeed helped alleviate some of the loneliness she’d been experiencing. “Perhaps [my doll] functions in the way other lonely people use a television,” she told the interviewer – “by having that blast all day, it feels like you are not so isolated.”

While this particular paper only delved into the sex doll usage of one asexual person, I imagine there are plenty more ace people around the world who’ve enjoyed using sex dolls. Asexuality is characterized by low or nonexistent sexual attraction to other people, but that doesn’t necessarily preclude an ace person from masturbating, fantasizing, or doing sensual stuff like naked cuddling – all of which they might be able to enjoy more easily with a sex doll than with, say, a human partner who (sadly) might make them feel pressured or shamed.

2. Owning a sex doll may affect how you view women

Of all the questions that scientists have pondered about sex dolls, one of the most common is: Are they good or bad, vis-à-vis misogyny, patriarchy, and men’s treatment of women? Some studies argue, for example, that owning a sex doll could make a sex offender less likely to re-offend, while some suggest just the opposite, that sex doll usage increases men’s sexual objectification of women and thereby makes them more likely to coerce or assault someone.

I’m not sure how I feel about this issue, given the mixed scientific evidence, not to mention the fact that correlation doesn’t necessarily equal causation. But this type of research certainly gives me a lot to think about. For instance, one 2022 study, published by Craig A. Harper et al. in the Journal of Sex Research, found that men who own sex dolls are more prone to obsessiveness, have lower self-esteem, and are “more likely to see women as unknowable” – but the same study also found that doll-owners are less sexually aggressive than the general population. A mixed bag, you could say!

3. Sex doll owners often bond with each other online

Contrary to the popular perception that people who own sex dolls are lonely losers with no social skills, there are actually thriving online communities of sex doll owners, where they trade tips and tricks, share photos and videos, and discuss their feelings toward their dolls.

This community aspect of doll ownership was discussed at length in a 2007 paper by journalist Belinda Middleweek, published in the journal Sexualities. The paper reflects on, among other things, how a significant portion of doll-owners say they appreciate their doll not just for sex but also for companionship. While some critics might argue that perceived emotional closeness with an inanimate object is a poor substitute for actual human connection, Middleweek’s paper shows us that sex doll ownership actually can help foster human connection – with other sex doll devotees! I bet some of them even throw sex doll orgies… Wish I could be a fly on the wall for one of those!

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.