How-To

10 Kinky Things You Can Do to Boobs

Kate Sloan
Photo by mb

Sometimes, people who don’t have boobs will ask me, “What’s it like to have boobs?” and I never quite know how to answer, because I barely think about mine – unless someone is doing something to ’em. Partners often turn me on by stimulating my tits and nipples in various ways, but it rarely occurs to me to touch my own breasts in a sexual manner, even though they’re attached to my body 24/7.

So, to remind my readers as well as myself, here’s a handy-dandy list of kinky things you can do to someone’s tits – someone else’s, or even perhaps your own!

1. Put nipple clamps on ’em

Nipple clamps are an easy way to infuse some sadomasochism into anything else you may be doing. They’re a delightfully “set-it-and-forget-it” type of toy. I’ve been known to wear my favorite clamps while giving or receiving oral sex, enduring a spanking, or even just doing household tasks. It sure livens things up!

2. Nibble on ’em

If you prefer to administer pain directly, rather than having a toy do it for you, you may want to use your teeth on a partner’s breasts or nipples. Start gently, because pain tolerance in this area can differ massively from person to person and even from day to day (some people, myself included, experience breast soreness before/during their period that might make this a no-go for a while).

3. Slap ’em

I used to request this from partners fairly often when my boobs were bigger (nowadays they’re smaller and so this feels more like having my ribs slapped, which I’m not as much a fan of)! Experiment to find optimal slap placement – I usually liked to have the outer side of each breast slapped, rather than the nipples.

4. Use ice on ’em

This type of temperature play isn’t necessarily painful, per se, but can be quite alarming and overwhelming in a way that feels sadomasochistic nonetheless. Makes a particularly great tease during summer months!

5. Drip hot wax on ’em

If ice-cold nips aren’t quite your jam, maybe molten-hot ones would be! Pick up a plain, undyed, unscented candle made of soy or paraffin wax (often sold at sex/kink shops) and experiment with dripping the lit candle’s wax from various heights; the higher you hold the candle, the more time the wax will have to cool down before hitting skin, so you can modulate the intensity that way.

6. Do electrostimulation on ’em

If you have a Neon Wand or similar, you can zap someone’s breasts. I often compare electrostim to the sensation of getting tattooed; it’s a sharp, stingy, localized pain that can make me spacey real fast.

7. Objectify someone for ’em

Breasts are deeply equated in our culture with femininity, sex appeal, and indecency – and while that’s not always a good thing (Free the Nipple, anyone?), in kink we can play with these tropes in ways that turn us on. Go as mild or as wild as you want, as long as it’s consensual – you could copiously compliment someone’s boobs, “make” them wear a push-up bra out to dinner, or even list them on Boobpedia if they’re into that.

8. Tie ’em up

There are many rope bondage ties that stimulate or highlight breasts in various ways; google “rope chest harness” to find ideas. Depending on the type of rope you use and how you use it, tying someone’s chest could be anywhere from thrillingly painful to calmingly massage-like. Snap a few pics of the finished tie if you want to document it for posterity!

9. Eat/drink off ’em

While food play in the genital region is inadvisable because of sexual health concerns (yeast infections, etc.), a chest has no such limitations. You can drizzle whipped cream, chocolate sauce, or a boozy cocktail all over someone’s tits – ideally in a bathtub/shower or with a waterproof sheet laid down beforehand, to contain any mess – and then lick it off, or make them try to lick it off.

10. Get hypnotized by ’em

In the mesmerizing world of hypnokink, some people induce trance with spiral gifs, pendulums, or pocketwatches – but there’s no reason you can’t use boobs to do the same thing! I’ve occasionally swung my tits back and forth in a hypnotic manner to lull my hypnokinky partner into trance, or even just had her stare at a photo of them until her brain gets all fuzzy. Ah, breasts – what can’t they do?!

 

Dear readers, have you tried any of these kinky things, as a giver, receiver, or both? Which one from the list is your fave?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How to Give a Ton of Pleasure with a Long-Distance Sex Toy

Kate Sloan
Screenshot

I have had a lot of phone sex in my life. Like, a lot. At this point it’s quite possible I’ve had phone sex more times than I’ve had in-person sex. Being in a long-distance relationship for over 7 years will do that to a person! (Or at least, to an aurally-inclined person like myself…)

In that time, I’ve learned a lot about how to make phone sex as hot as possible – and some of my favorite innovations in that regard are toys by Lovense. Many other brands have attempted to make toys that can be controlled from a distance, but none so successfully as Lovense, if you ask me. Their toys have more reliable connectivity than any others I’ve tried, their app is thoughtfully designed, and their catalogue offers tons of stimulation options for people of various anatomies, genders, and preferences.

The last time I made someone come using a Lovense toy, she gasped out afterward, “You should write an article about how you do that!” I’m sure that different people have different approaches, but my style of Lovense-topping has always been well-received (so to speak), and so I feel qualified to advise on this! Without further ado, for your enjoyment and edification, here are six quick tips for giving someone maximal pleasure with a Lovense toy…

 

1. Hop on an audio call

You could use a Lovense toy on somebody without being able to hear them, but in my view, that would be much harder and much less hot! As with IRL sex, someone’s noises can give you a lot of guidance about what’s working and what’s not, and are also just sexy as hell.

Lovense’s app has a built-in voice-call feature, but feel free to use whatever audio functionality you and your partner(s) prefer – I tend to do audio-only FaceTime calls, for instance. Most audio-call apps will sound a hell of a lot better than a regular ol’ phone call, which is often so low-quality that you can’t hear important subtleties like how fast somebody is breathing.

 

2. Set the toy to ‘float’ mode

By default, Lovense toys are set to automatically return to 0% power output if you take your finger off the touchscreen of your phone (or whatever other device you’re using the Lovense app on). This can be useful in certain situations, like for “tease & denial” play – but mostly I prefer to enable “float” mode, which keeps the vibration at the level you left it at, even if you put your device down to grab some lube, touch yourself, take a selfie, etc.

 

3. Start low & slow

Vibration is a wonderful thing, but it can be overwhelming, especially early on in the arousal process. If you crank up the vibration too quickly, you risk overstimulating your partner, which could cause discomfort, pain, or temporary numbness. That stuff is hot for people who are specifically into overstimulation (a.k.a. “orgasm torture”), but the rest of us will probably want to start with gentle vibration and work our way up gradually. That’ll preserve as much sensitivity as possible, allowing for greater heights of pleasure.

 

4. Create the illusion of motion

Okay, this might be the real secret to my success as a Lovense top… Throughout a session, I’ll usually wiggle my finger up and down on my phone’s touchscreen, rather than keeping the vibration fixed at one level. I’ll increase and decrease the overall intensity as needed over the course of the session, rarely holding my finger completely still for longer than a few seconds. This is because the body gets accustomed to vibration after a bit, and so a steady, unchanging vibration can start to feel less stimulating over time (especially with buzzy/high-pitched vibration, more often found on the high end of Lovense toys’ power range).

Because of this principle, slight undulations up and down tend to make the vibration feel more impactful and less numbing. They also create the tactile illusion of motion – the slight oscillation makes penile vibration feel more like someone is actually stroking/riding you, for instance, while rhythmic stimulation of the G-spot can feel almost like human fingers massaging that spot. (I’ve even squirted from having the Lush used on me in this way!)

You can experiment with different types of motion at different times – for example, I prefer to move up and down a larger distance as someone gets closer to orgasm, because it seems to more closely resemble the way you’ll often instinctively fuck someone harder as they’re about to come.

 

5. Talk dirty

Sure, you could do a Lovense scene in total silence, or just listen to your partner’s moans… but 91% of people are turned on by dirty talk, so it tends to make sex hotter, the way salt makes food taste better. Dirty talk is also useful in closing the gap when having phone sex – it helps you stay mentally connected to your partner, by sharing a mutual sexual fantasy through your words. Vibration can sometimes feel coldly mechanical on its own, but may feel a lot better when, through the magic of dirty talk, you’re thinking of the vibrator as your partner’s hand or tongue or cock.

It might take some practice to get used to operating the Lovense app while talking dirty – but the better that you get at each separate skill, the easier it’ll be to combine them, and even to get into a sweet sweet flow state while doing so!

 

6. Don’t forget aftercare!

Phone sex really isn’t that different from in-person sex. Both can involve intimacy, pleasure, orgasms, big releases of neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, and potentially complicated feelings. Just as I might feel empty and sad if someone rolled out of bed right after sex and left without a word, I similarly struggle when a partner unceremoniously ends a call (or falls asleep!) too soon after phone sex.

Aftercare is unique to each person/couple, so you should discuss aftercare preferences with your partner(s). For some, it may be as simple and quick as reminding each other to drink some water and then saying goodnight. Others may prefer some lovey-dovey pillow talk, or each whipping up a midnight snack together over the phone, or even “sleeping together” all night via speakerphone. Aww, cute!

 

Fellow users of long-distance toys, do you use these tips in your sessions? Anything else you’d recommend?

 

P.S. If you want to know more about specific Lovense toys, here are all the reviews I’ve written of them (and I’ll be publishing another one in the next few weeks, too!):

  • Exomoon (lipstick-shaped clitoral vibrator)
  • Spinel (self-thrusting sex machine)
  • Lush Mini, Lush 4, and Lush 3 (wearable G-spot vibrators)
  • Domi 2 (mini wand vibrator)
  • Ferri (magnetic clip-on panty vibrator)
  • Gush (penile vibrator; guest review by my wife)

 

This post was NOT sponsored, although I do get a little kickback (at no cost to you) when you buy products through my affiliate links, which helps support my writing so I can keep doing it!

What to Pack for a Sex Getaway

Kate Sloan

The weather outside is dull and grey, and it has me thinking about potential trips to far-flung locales – for lounging on the beach and sipping daiquiris over a good book, sure, but also for sexy adventures with beloved beaux. Sex in a hotel bed (or even on an Airbnb pull-out couch) just hits different, y’know?

I can’t tell you exactly what to bring with you on a horny holiday, since you know your own sexual needs best… but here’s a list of things I think most sexually active people would benefit from having in their suitcase on such a jaunt, whether you’re headed to a swingers’ resort in Cancún, a luxury escort agency in Vienna, or even just a hotel in your own hometown. Let me know in the comments if there’s anything crucial I missed!

1-2 lubes

Lube is a must-have for pretty much everyone. No matter what type(s) of sex or masturbation you get into, lube is likely to make it feel a whole lot more pleasurable and comfortable.

On a typical trip, I tend to pack two lubes: a water-based option (ideally Sutil Rich or Sliquid Sassy), which I use with most sex toys and for most types of penetration, and a silicone-based option (ideally Uberlube), which is better suited for things like handjobs and clitoral masturbation. However, if I only had the space for one lube, I’d tend to go water-based, since it’s compatible with all types of sex toys and safer sex supplies. Speaking of which…

Safer sex supplies

I always bring condoms with me on my sexy travels; they’re my go-to contraceptive method, since hormonal birth control fucks with my mental health too bad, and they’re also just good to have around. If I was attending an orgy/gangbang or somesuch, I might bring a few different size options with me, because I’m cum-siderate like that! You might also consider packing dental dams, latex/nitrile gloves, and/or finger cots, depending on your needs/desires.

A small vibrator + a big vibrator

Suitcase space doesn’t always allow for this, but in an ideal world, I would always be able to pack both a Magic Wand Rechargeable and a smaller, more pinpointed vibe like the We-Vibe Tango X. Wands are super versatile; I love using them on partners of various genders/anatomies, as well as on myself, particularly when travel exhaustion has lowered my sensitivity. But it’s also nice to have a more petite vibrator on hand for when I’m craving that sensation instead.

Some vibrators have a travel lock function, which smartly ensures that the vibrations won’t turn on in transit, startling TSA agents and taxicab drivers alike. I try to bring at least one vibe that’s waterproof, because jerking off in a hotel bathtub is the height of luxury, if you ask me! Don’t forget to pack the charger(s) for your vibrator(s) as well, if they’re rechargeable, since a dead vibe sucks just as much in a beautiful destination as it does in your bed at home.

Something penetrative

If you or your partner(s) are into penetration, you’re probably gonna want to bring a dildo, butt plug, insertable vibrator, or some other type of penetrative toy with you. Think about which internal spot(s) you most often like to target, and pack accordingly. I’ll often bring one realistic silicone dildo that hits my A-spot and one firmer dildo that hits my G-spot, just to cover my bases. To be on the safe side, probably leave any glass toys at home (or do as I do and pack them wrapped in multiple layers of socks).

1-2 kinky sensory toys

If you are kinky comme moi, you may want to toss a couple of sensory-play items into your suitcase incase the mood strikes. I’ll often bring a small wooden bat or paddle for impact play, and maybe something like this dragon claw for light sadomasochism. That being said, your hands are great kink toys in and of themselves, capable of slapping, scratching, etc., so you may not need any extra equipment in this category!

A few kinky pervertibles

I bring an eye mask with me every time I travel, to help block out light so I can sleep better – but it also works a treat as a blindfold for kinky sex. Likewise, scarves and neckties can double as bondage gear, and a wooden hairbrush makes a killer impact implement. When suitcase space is at a premium, you might as well make the most of every item you bring!

Gum, mints, etc.

Self-explanatory! Sometimes I’ll also bring cough drops along, just incase. Trying to have an intimate date-y conversation in a bar or restaurant can be tricky when your throat is sore… as can giving head!

Hair elastics & bobby pins

Stray hairs in my mouth during oral sex are the bane of my existence. Fuck off and let me do what I do best!!

Headphones

Useful if you plan on watching porn and don’t want to risk disturbing the people in the next room… but also great if you, like me, sometimes have phone sex while staying in hotels. Headphones allow you to put your phone down, freeing up your hands for… other things.

Aftercare snacks

I usually pick these up at a duty-free shop once I’ve gone through airport security, but you can also get ’em at a hotel gift shop or pretty much anywhere. Chocolate, candy, chips, etc. are all great choices. It’s especially fun to get regional snacks that are only available wherever you’re staying!

 

What else do you think is important to bring on a sexy vacation?

 

This post contains a sponsored link. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

How to Fuck Someone Like a Sex Doll (for Kinky Purposes)

Kate Sloan
I may not be a literal doll, but you can still keep me in the closet 😉

I adore the euphoric altered states that kink can produce, and one of my favorites in recent years is “doll-space,” the feeling I get when I pretend to be a sex doll. It’s a hot fantasy, being “used” by a partner who is (at least in-universe) wholly focused on their own pleasure. I also find it psychologically relaxing, since there’s no pressure for a doll to do anything or achieve anything, other than getting fucked!

If you’re intrigued by this type of play, here are a few quick tips for tops that I’ve gleaned from my experiences as a bottom…

Negotiate limits, safewords & safe-signals

Sex doll roleplay is essentially a form of consensual non-consent (CNC), in that you are ostensibly “doing whatever you want” to your partner. For many people, tops and bottoms alike, that freedom is what makes this fantasy hot – but to do that type of play safely, you need to pre-negotiate which sex/kink acts are allowed, and which are off-limits. You’ll also want to agree on a safeword that either person can say if they want the scene to end immediately. If you’ll be doing any play where someone may not be able to speak (e.g. using a ballgag, doing breathplay), then you should have a safe-signal as well, i.e. a non-verbal safeword, such as double-tapping on someone’s thigh or shaking your head “no.”

Loudly appreciate their body

Your doll is gorgeous, so act like it! Objectification kink can bring insecurities to the fore, especially since sex dolls and other such objects are often largely appreciated for their looks! Make sure to be vocally appreciative of your partner’s body during and after this type of play, so they know that even if they don’t look like a skinny sex doll or curvy supermodel, you still find ’em hot (and want to fuck ’em silly)!

Manhandle (or womanhandle or enbyhandle…) them

If your partner is cool with it – and if you are physically capable of it – it can really enhance sex doll roleplays to move your partner around the way you’d move a sex doll. Like maybe be a little rougher or brusquer than you’d normally be… or maybe shove them face-first into a pillow before fucking them (provided they can still breathe)… and maybe you growl while you do it… Uhh, yeah, this is definitely one of my kinks, huh 😂

Vocally enjoy your pleasure

A lot of people learn to silence their moans, so it can be tricky to re-learn to express yourself during sex, but I think it’s worth doing, especially for this type of play! More than likely, your partner finds your pleasure super hot, so the more effusive you can be about it during (and after) sex, the more you’ll both enjoy yourselves.

Leave time for aftercare

Aftercare is a must when doing psychologically intense play like this! Do whatever helps you both float back to earth together: you could cuddle, eat snacks, drink water, watch something funny on TV, talk about the scene you just did, listen to gentle music together, or anything else that feels right. Make sure your “sex doll” knows you see them as a whole person again, and not just a fuckable piece of rubber, hot as that idea may be to both of you!

Have you ever done this type of roleplay? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

7 Things I’ve Done That Unexpectedly Improved My Body Image

Kate Sloan

Feeling good about your body is a lifelong journey. Healing from systemic fatphobia, ableism, etc. is like healing from anything else: it’s not linear, and you might have backslides sometimes – but it’s exhilarating to notice an overall upward trend in how you feel about your body, even if it takes years, or decades.

Aside from more obvious things like reading the work of body-positive thinkers, getting rid of my scale, and swearing off commenting on anyone else’s body, there are 7 things I’ve done for my body image that helped more than I ever imagined they would… Here they are, incase they inspire anybody else to foster more body-positivity in themselves!

Got a bunch of tattoos

I have 7 tattoos, and each of them have pretty drastically changed my view of my body for the better. I’ve always admired the aesthetic of tattoos, so getting them has made me look more like the types of people I find hot – and it’s also hard not to love my body now that it’s got beautiful, bespoke works of art all over it! (Some people would disagree, but those people are wrong, and also, who cares what they think?!)

When I was younger, I used to dread the moment clothing would come off during sex with a new person, because I worried they’d judge my body harshly. But ever since getting my tattoos – especially the pink “good girl” bows on the backs of my thighs – I sometimes even look forward to that moment, because people are often delighted to discover the tattoos hidden under my clothes!

Dated people who fetishize the body parts I’m insecure about

They say you gotta love yourself before you can love anybody else, and maybe that’s true – but I know that I largely learned to love my ass by dating butt enthusiasts! I’ve never had huge boobs or any other particularly remarkable bodily features (at least in my view), but apparently my ass is notable enough that more than one devout butt appreciator wanted to date me. So that’s pretty cool. Helps a lot when they bury their face in it like a starving person at a pie-eating contest, too…!

Appreciated the things my body can do

Positive re-frame alert! I might not look like a runway model, but I can still strut down the street in a cool outfit. I may not have a big booty, but I can still dance to Sir Mix-A-Lot. I’m no hyper-athletic porn star or BBW sex doll, but I can still get fucked like a champ. Every human body is a miracle, whether or not it’s considered conventionally hot.

Took improv classes/performed in improv shows

On the note of appreciating what my body can do: it can make up scenes and songs on the spot, apparently, which is pretty fuckin’ impressive no matter what I happen to look like! (The brain is technically part of the body, after all… and without a body, none of my brain’s ideas could be expressed on stage or anywhere else!) It’s also nice to spend time in a community where someone’s dress size doesn’t matter anywhere near as much as their ability to crack jokes and roll with the punches.

Further: when I’m on stage, I barely think about my body. I don’t think about my aches and pains or my butt cellulite; there just isn’t enough spare time or mental energy for that shit. Improv’s fuckin’ meditative, dude. Big recommend!

Got a great body lotion

Simple yet effective: Get yourself a luscious moisturizer with a scent that makes your heart happy (or unscented if you prefer, dear chemically sensitive babes), and apply it liberally when you’re fresh out of the shower. This helps lock in moisture better, and also makes your regular workaday shower feel like a self-care ritual. I’ve been digging the “Vanilla Cashmere” lotion by EOS, which makes me smell like a slutty cupcake (ideal, obviously).

Invested in cuter loungewear

It’s hard to feel stoked about your body when you’re wearing a decade-old faded band T-shirt and baggy threadbare pajama pants. (I mean, for me it certainly would be. I don’t know your life!) Since I’m chronically ill, I spend a lot of my waking hours in PJs or loungewear, so I keep a perpetual eye out for pieces that are both comfy and cute, and wearing them makes a big difference in my day-to-day self-esteem.

Did psychedelics

Now, to be fair, some people find these more anxiety-provoking than soul-healing… but for me, during the half-dozen shrooms trips I’ve done, I’ve basically forgotten my body existed for the duration of the day. And I mean that in the most positive sense. Sometimes I would put on a kids’ movie from my youth, like A Bug’s Life or The Aristocats, and take extensive notes on the life lessons that seemed to leap out at me. I would get so absorbed in this task, and the ensuing self-reflection, that I totally forgot to worry about my body’s imperfections – all I could think about was the beautiful vastness of the universe, and my tiny-but-important role in it. Drugs rule, man.

 

Dear readers, have any of these strategies helped you love your body more? What else has worked well for you? Feel free to let me know in the comments!

 

This post contains sponsored links. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.