For as long as I can remember being on the internet, I’ve been a fanfiction reader.
It has a reputation as a genre that’s both trivial and terrible, especially now that the Fifty Shades of Grey origin story as a piece of Twilight fanfic is so widely known. But if you’ve spent any time at all in fanfic communities, you know that the stories can sometimes be brilliantly written, absolutely gripping, and – in some cases – smokin’ hot.
Books, movies, TV shows – these things all have limitations, in terms of the level of sexiness they’re allowed to portray. Sure, you’ll occasionally see full-on sex in the more risqué ones, but it’s rare. Romantic storylines in popular media are heavy on chemistry and light on action. And that can sometimes be frustrating.
So we, as fans, turn to each other for support in this regard. We write and/or read fan-generated stories about pairings both “canon” (i.e. sanctioned in the source material) and “non-canon.” When done well, erotic fanfiction picks up the ball right where the original media dropped it, giving closure and satisfaction to fans who just wanted to see those two characters get together, for fuck’s sake.
Here are some of my all-time favorite fanfiction pairings (all of which are heterosexual and most of which are canon, because I’m boring):
• Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. These two had a scintillating on-again-off-again thing on the actual show, complete with screen chemistry out the wazoo. But, being that GG was essentially a show for teenagers, we rarely got to see them fuck. There were constant hints that they experimented with kink and roleplaying, and those few scraps of information fanned the flames of fans’ writing. I’m particularly partial to stories where Chuck plays dom to Blair’s sub (even though these tales just make me even madder that Ed Westwick didn’t get cast as Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades movie). Try these: “Rules,” in which Chuck bosses Blair around, spanks her, etc. “Schadenfreude,” which is all about hate-fucking and has adequate anatomical understanding re: stuff like clits and G-spots (very important!). “Dirty Games,” in which Blair is the bossy one.
• Jessica Day and Nick Miller from New Girl. These two are such quirky goofballs and yet their chemistry is off the charts. Nick has the personality of a disgruntled old man and Jess is a sunny, bubbly optimist; their mutual attraction initially caught me off guard but now seems like the most natural thing in the world. It’s quite a feat when a fanfic writer can get these characters’ voices just right, but it does happen once in a while and it’s glorious when it does. Try these: “The First of Three Conversations,” in which Schmidt helps Jess peg Nick (which sounds weird but is instead weirdly hot). “You’re Gonna Lose Control,” in which Jess discovers her inner domme via her teaching skills. “Mistakes We Knew We Were Making,” which features laundry-room finger-fucking, among other things.
• Sheldon Cooper and Penny from The Big Bang Theory. (Penny has no last name…) Okay, I KNOW this is super weird, and I was just as surprised as you probably are when I first noticed how much Sheldon/Penny smut there is to be found online. But… there is something oddly enticing about it. He’s so awkward and inexperienced; she is so, well, the total opposite of that. The power dynamic is interesting, there’s often some sexual instructing in the stories (which totally fucking gets me going), and when the characters’ voices are right, it’s often funny as hell. Try these: “The Pickle Jar Experiment,” in which Penny awkwardly tries to teach Sheldon how to jerk off. “The Bathtub Interaction,” in which Penny comforts Sheldon while he’s sick and things get sexy. “The Sweet Vibrations Discovery,” in which Sheldon is “inspired” by the sex toys he finds under Penny’s bed.
• Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. My current obsession, y’all. You would think that the “opposites attract” trope would have lost its charm by now, but nope – it still works. Peralta and Santiago are polar opposites: he’s goofy, immature, irresponsible, and rebellious, while she is buttoned-up, reliable, and does everything by the book. What they have in common is that they’re both NYPD detectives, courageous, strong-willed, and attracted to each other. What more do you need? Try these: “One Big Cliché,” in which Amy has a sex dream about Jake and it leads to real-life sex. “Clutching Your Pillow and Writhing in a Naked Sweat,” in which Jake and Amy have sneaky sex in the captain’s office. And… drumroll, please… “Jake Peralta, Master Cunnilinguist-Slash-Genius,” which I WROTE (!!) with the help of some Twitter hooligans who contributed language suggestions and moral support while I live-tweeted the writing process.
Who are your favorite fanfiction couples, and what would you like to see them do in a story?