I’ve learned a ton from my friends who are Toronto escorts about the power and magic of sex work. Contrary to shitty popular opinions about it being a seedy profession for the desperate and destitute, it’s often empowering and uplifting for both service providers and their clientele. (This, by the way, is part of why it’s so important we fight back against SESTA/FOSTA in any way we can.)
Aside from a session of basic (yet likely mind-blowing) sexual satisfaction, there are lots of reasons it might behoove you to hire an escort. Here are a few of them…
You want group sex, without the drama. When couples write to me inquiring about how to find a “unicorn” (a third person, usually a bisexual woman, to have a threesome with), I usually recommend they save up and hire a sex worker. It’s better to pay someone to play exactly the role you want them to, than to try to slot someone into a pre-decided role they haven’t totally signed up for. Plus, particularly in first-time forays into non-monogamy, group sex can incite lots of feelings, like jealousy and insecurity; hiring a professional can help you keep things simple.
You want to try a new kink, without judgment. It can be scary to raise nascent sexual interests with a romantic partner, or even a FWB; you might worry they’ll think differently of you once they find out what you’re into. Even if your newfound curiosity focuses on something relatively culturally accepted, like spanking or facesitting, you might still feel shy bringing it up. That’s totally okay, and it’s one area where sex workers can be a huge help: making fantasies come true is literally their job, and it’s practically guaranteed they’ve heard weirder requests than the one you’ve got up your sleeve. (You should, however, let SWs know beforehand about the fantasy you’re hoping to have fulfilled, so they know what they’re getting into and have a chance to decline if they want to.)
You want to lose your virginity, shame-free. I remember when I was a meek 18-year-old who’d never gotten intimate with a penis before; it seemed to me like the scariest thing in the world, and yet I wanted to give it a shot. I fantasized often about hiring a cis male sex worker to guide me through my first “straight” experience. An escort, I figured, would be professional and non-judgmental, and would happily teach me some dick tricks if that’s what I wanted. Similarly, if you’ve never had sex and it’s starting to get you down, I would really recommend hiring a sex worker. They won’t be able to teach you everything in just one session, but the experience could give you a boost of confidence you can take forward into your future sex life.
You’re too tired or busy for the dating game. Some people talk about sexual satisfaction as if it were a basic human right. I’m not sure I agree, but the fact remains that many of us crave sex even when our lives and minds are too chaotic for us to pursue it in societally-sanctioned ways, like dating apps. (When I’m depressed, I’d honestly rather watch paint dry than try to make conversation with some rando from Tinder.) A sex work transaction can be the simplest solution to this problem.
You need a date to an event. Lots of escorts offer special rates to accompany you to concerts, dinners, the theatre, and so on. This could be a lovely option if you’re feeling lonely but still want a fun night out on the town – because, let’s not forget, the services sex workers provide are often just as much emotional as they are sexual. After the event wraps up, you can extend the date to end in sexytimes, if you’ve negotiated that, or not. Bringing a happy, paid professional is probably better than dragging along an unenthused partner who’d rather be at home, anyway!
What are some reasons you’ve hired (or considered hiring) an escort?
This post was sponsored by the lovely folks at OhMy. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.