Blogging & Writing

My New Work-From-Home Setup, Part 2: My Desk

Kate Sloan

Writers can debate endlessly about whether the space where you choose to work, and the tools you use to do that work, actually matter. Some writers can throw their laptop in a tote bag and take it to a café, or the library, or a random picnic table in the park, and create masterworks; others need their perfectly-appointed desk with just the right mood lighting, soundtrack, and assortment of artisanal pencils if they’re going to produce their best work.

I can go either way, but that’s partly because I’ve rarely had an actually-functional workspace in my life. A blend of depression, body pain, and chronic disorganization has often led me to clutter up desks and tables with useless tchotchkes and accumulated trash, choosing instead to work in bed or (in pre-pandemic times) at cafés and bars. I always wanted to have a more settled, organized workspace, but rarely got my shit together enough to actually make it happen.

Earlier this year, for my birthday, a few different friends and family members very generously got me gift cards aimed at helping me update my workspace, because I’d mentioned wishing I could do that. Wanting to put their gifts to good use, I started brainstorming what I wanted and needed to make my vintage, worse-for-wear wooden desk into an oasis of creativity. Here are some of the things I bought to spruce the place up…

 

• Since one of my main issues was constantly having too many random objects all over my desk, I decided storage was a top priority. My desk has two built-in drawers, one of which I use for weed stuff + incense and the other of which I use to store logistical necessities like Scotch tape, loose change, and my passport – but everything else needed a place to go. So I bought an assortment of stackable wooden drawers from Kirigen, and a matching monitor riser that also has a couple of drawers in it. These have already made a HUGE difference for me. Some of the stuff I store in these drawers: pens, pencils, extra batteries, extra pairs of glasses, documents, cards/letters/notes, notepads and notebooks, index cards, spare sets of earbuds, cheques I need to cash, and an occasional snack.

• Buying my new monitor was a JOURNEY! I wanted a specific 24″ ViewSonic monitor (the VX2485-MHU model) because the Wirecutter had recommended it as one of the best budget monitors they’d tried, and because it has a USB-C port, allowing me to connect my MacBook Air to the display and charge it with just one cable. I ordered a pre-owned one from an online seller, but it got lost in the mail somehow, so they refunded me. Then I saw a new version of the same monitor on a semi-sketchy retail site and asked Staples if they could price-match it, which they agreed to do. But 2 weeks after I’d already placed my order through Staples, they told me the monitor was actually out of stock, and cancelled my order. So I ordered it from yet another store, and it finally arrived. I’m glad I managed to acquire this one – it looks pretty damn good for being a $300 monitor, and fits nicely in the space allotted for it.

• One of the bulkiest items on my desk, pre-makeover, was my Day-Light SAD lamp. It was a must-have for my depression, especially in the winter, but I’d had that particular model since 2007 (!!) and knew there were some less cumbersome options on the market now. I arranged to give my old lamp away to someone from a local mental health support group who needed one, and then bought this new one, the Day-Light Sky. It takes up way less desk space, and I love that its angle is adjustable. I currently have it sitting atop a small stack of hardcover notebooks, to give the computer monitor enough space to fit neatly underneath.

• I told you about this keyboard when I showed you my working-from-bed setup. Still loving it! It’s the Logitech K380. I adore its sweet pink hue, softly clicky-clacky keys, and ability to swap between up to 3 different devices as needed, so I can move from my computer on the desk to my iPad in bed with ease.

• My mouse is the Logitech M720, which is also great. I’m considering switching to an Apple Magic Trackpad, though, because after years of using a trackpad instead of a mouse, I find them much more intuitive now. But this mouse is lovely, as far as mice go.

• My spouse bought me a beautiful vintage pink Brother typewriter as a gift after we watched the movie California Typewriter together. It’s mostly a decorative item because I lack the hand strength required to really hammer out any substantial pieces of writing on it – plus I worry about annoying my roommate with the loud typing – but I love having it displayed on my desk. It’s such a gorgeous symbol of my writerly ambitions and achievements, and I enjoy occasionally banging out a poem or two on its snappy black keys.

• A while ago, my friend Thomas sent me a spinning desk toy called a Mezmoglobe, and that’s sitting underneath my monitor riser where I can periodically spin it and admire its gleaming prettiness throughout the day.

• While it isn’t new, I do want to mention that my coaster was a gift from Penny, who is an incredible photographer and used to make these adorable sex toy photo coasters. This one features a picture of the NobEssence Romp, easily the prettiest butt plug I’ve ever owned. I use it every day for water, coffee, cocktails, or whatever else I happen to be drinking while I write.

 

Things I’d still like to acquire for my setup:

• A webcam. I used to just use my laptop’s built-in webcam for Zoom calls, video podcast recordings, etc. but that’s less convenient now that I keep it tucked under my monitor riser. I’m hoping to pick up a Logitech C920S on the Wirecutter’s recommendation. It’ll sit nicely on top of my monitor and make all my video calls and livestreams look way better.

• A better system for getting my microphone and headphones out of the way when I’m not using them – like maybe a boom arm.

• A better desk chair. Right now I’m still using the blue faux-leather one my dad bought me for about $50 at Staples when I was in university, and it’s really seen better days. I’m considering getting an Albin task chair from Wayfair. It’s surprisingly hard to find an armless chair that’s slim enough for the space under my desk, ergonomic enough for my chronically achy body, and costs less than a zillion dollars!

 

What workspace essentials are you loving lately?

What Are Your Professional Boundaries?

Kate Sloan

Some spiritual traditions posit that souls are reincarnated, and that some souls spend entire lifetimes trying to make amends for, or improve upon, things they did in previous lifetimes. If this is true, it seems clear to me that I must have been sent to this earth to work on my boundary-setting. It is a theme that has haunted my life.

For one thing, I’m a woman, and that’s a gender group our society explicitly encourages to be bad at boundary-setting. Women are supposed to juggle a career, housework, caretaking of their partner and/or children, and their own self-care, all while somehow being “chill” about the amount of physical, emotional, and logistical work thrust upon them. Women are also routinely encouraged to ignore or suspend our own boundaries in the realm of the romantic and sexual, chiefly because it often benefits shitty men when we do so. (Yuck.)

I’m also a freelancer and a person who works from home, two oft-overlapping identities that make a person even more vulnerable to having their boundaries bent or overstepped. Freelancers may experience bosses and editors expecting quick responses to any and all communiqué, work overflowing past the hours allotted for it (often without additional pay), and friends and family assuming we’re available at all times simply because we set our own schedules. It’s a nightmarish career for anyone who struggles with boundary-setting!

…Except that it doesn’t have to be. Whether you see it as a spiritual lesson or a purely practical one, there is much to be learned from having your boundaries repeatedly steamrolled in settings both personal and professional. The better I get at protecting my own energy and time through ruthless boundary-setting, the stronger and happier I feel overall. It’s a fantastic skillset to develop, for so many reasons. I’m not always as good at it as I’d like to be, but it feels great when I am.

One of the reasons I’ve been obsessed with boundary-setting in recent years is that my chronic illness has gotten worse and worse. My flare-ups are triggered by stress, among other things, so stress reduction is a top-level priority for me at this point. One of my new year’s resolutions for 2021 was to eliminate as many unnecessary stressors as humanly possible from my life this year, and setting better boundaries in my work life is a key way I’ve been doing that.

 

Here are some of my current professional boundaries:

  • I only work between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., and only on weekdays. This includes work-related writing, answering business emails/DMs/etc., doing research for articles, and so on. Past 5 p.m., and on weekends, I am unavailable for business interactions. There are 2 exceptions to this rule: 1) If I’m genuinely excited to work on something – such as if inspiration for a fun blog post suddenly strikes on a Saturday – then it’s okay to work on it at any time, so long as I’m not pushing myself too hard. 2) I sometimes have to do podcast recordings outside of work hours due to guests’ scheduling needs, which is fine. I’ll just try to rest for an equivalent amount of time during the next work day to make up for it.
  • I do not accept writing assignments that pay less than $0.20 per word. (If the assignment in question offers a flat rate or an hourly rate instead of a per-word rate, I’ll try to convert it to per-word to figure out whether it meets this standard.) In the early days of my career, it made some sense to take on low-paying (and even unpaid) assignments much more often, to build my portfolio, skillset, brand, and professional network – but with two book deals and countless bylines under my belt, I deserve and expect better payment these days. I sometimes consider lower-paying gigs if they offer some combination of creative freedom, a topic I find fascinating, a prestigious byline, fun perks (e.g. free travel), and/or cool collaborators, but for the most part, I’d rather have fewer projects (even if that means making less money overall) than feel resentful of the low-paying work I’ve allowed into my life.
  • I don’t generally accept feedback on my writing from people who have not actually read the piece(s) they are criticizing. I used to think theirs was a valid form of critique in some ways, but there have just been too many baffling instances of people becoming angry or upset because of what they assume I’ve written, having not even read what I’ve actually written. Almost all of the time, the points they’re making are already addressed in the piece, and sometimes we even agree with each other. You cannot reason with someone who is arguing from a place of presumption and bad faith. Reading someone’s work is the lowest possible bar you have to clear before you’re able to critique it in a coherent, accurate, and good-faith manner.
  • I don’t write things I don’t really believe, ever. That means, among other things, that I don’t accept sponsored post assignments from clients who demand fraudulently positive reviews of their products/services. Everything on this blog (except for a handful of guest posts written by people I personally invited to contribute) is written by me and reflects an opinion I actually hold (or, at least, an opinion I held at the time that I wrote it).

 

Despite how clearly necessary these boundaries are, it can be surprisingly hard sometimes to hold firm when they are pushed. This is why I have certain stock phrases/messages I can send to firmly but kindly express my boundaries, such as:

  • “That rate is too low for me, but best of luck!”
  • “For your future reference, I work Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. ET and am otherwise out of office.”
  • “From your suggested rate, it sounds like you’re looking for an entry-level writer. As you know from my portfolio, that isn’t me, so it sounds like we’re not a fit at this time.”

 

Some such sentences sound embarrassingly self-aggrandizing (particularly when you have impostor syndrome!), such that I sometimes have to give myself a little pep talk before I can hit “send.” I often have to remind myself to avoid language that softens my boundary (e.g. “Just a reminder that I mostly only work on weekdays…” or “Usually my rate is at least double that, but…”) and to remain firm in my tone. Sometimes I’ll have an assertive, communication-savvy friend or partner read over my message before I send it, to make sure I’m expressing myself clearly and kindly. Or sometimes I just trust myself and click “send” easily, knowing I’m doing the right thing for myself and that any client worth having will respect my boundaries wholeheartedly.

Standing up for myself is simultaneously one of the scariest things I ever do and one of the most empowering. It doesn’t always feel comfortable – or even possible – but whenever I manage to do it, my life gets easier, calmer, and happier. My achy body appreciates the reduction in stress immensely – and my nervous brain appreciates the reminder that my needs and wants are just as important as everybody else’s.

My New Work-From-Home Setup, Part 1: Working in Bed

Kate Sloan

Lately I’ve been overhauling my entire work setup at home, and loving it. Seeing as I’m now fully self-employed and perpetually juggling a full docket of blog posts, client work, podcasting, and book-writing, it felt important to make some changes so my setup would be as well-tailored to my needs as possible.

I’m gonna do another blog post soon detailing the changes I made to my main workspace at my desk (I’m just waiting on my new monitor to be delivered!), but today I thought I’d tell you about another “workspace” of mine that I’ve also overhauled recently. Let’s talk about what I use when I’m working from my bed.

See, as a chronically ill person, there’s usually at least 1-2 days per week when I’m too achy, sleepy, and/or gloomy to sit at my desk for long stretches of time. On those days, I tend to curl up under my duvet, surrounded by strategically-placed pillows, for a supine work sesh.

My old bed-work setup consisted solely of my laptop (a MacBook Air) and a lap-desk from IKEA that keeps my computer from overheating on the duvet and also has a compartment where I can store my iPhone upright for easy access. However, my 13” computer is a bit bulky for this purpose, and I wanted a system that was smaller, sleeker, and more portable, especially since (in non-pandemic times) I travel a fair bit and don’t always want to bring my big ol’ lap-desk with me.

The main component of my new bed-work setup is an iPad mini 5. Mine is a 64GB model in space grey which I bought refurbished last year, having noticed that my chronic pain had gotten bad enough to warrant a smaller, lighter device for difficult days. In the months since, I’ve more often used it as a leisure device, for watching Netflix, YouTube, and (yes) porn – but it works quite well for professional tasks as well, because it’s fast, powerful, and versatile, and has a beautifully bright and vivid screen.

When I want to work on my iPad, I hook it up via Bluetooth to my pale pink Logitech K380 keyboard. I picked this keyboard because it’s one of the Wirecutter’s top recommendations, and I absolutely love it. The keys are pleasantly clicky-clacky, which I enjoy in contrast to my laptop’s hyper-quiet keys. I also love that this keyboard can be connected to up to 3 devices at a time, which you can switch between with a press of a button. This means I can use the same keyboard whether I’m typing on my computer, my iPad, or my phone. It’s quite slim and light, so it’ll be easy to throw it into a purse alongside my iPad if I ever want to get some work done at a café or another public place. The one thing this keyboard lacks, that I wish it had, is a slot for propping up my iPad so I don’t have to bring an iPad stand with me. I recently ordered a typewriter-inspired Knewkey mechanical keyboard which will do a better job of this when I need it.

Speaking of iPad stands, I do need one while working in bed, and the one I chose was a recommendation from my tech-nerdy spouse Matt. It’s the Yohann iPad mini stand, a gorgeous piece crafted from walnut. Matt recommended this stand for me largely because it’s designed to work well on soft surfaces, like a bed; its curved design enables it to keep my iPad upright at a workable angle even as I shift around in bed, adjust my pillows, etc. At $129 USD, this was a pretty hefty investment for something that simply holds my iPad up, but it’s 1,000% better than what I was doing before (attempting to prop up my iPad against a stack of pillows or books), so to me it was worth the dough.

The final component of my work-from-bed setup is my Adonit Mark stylus, which I bought because the Wirecutter recommended it and also because it comes in a stunning shade of turquoise. (I love this shade so much that it’s actually the exact color of my duvet cover, which unfortunately means I sometimes misplace the stylus in my bed due to how well it blends in!) At just $20, this was the least expensive part of my bed-work overhaul. A stylus enables me to “click on” things on my iPad’s screen without having to reach too far with my hands, which is suuuper helpful on bad shoulder/neck pain days.

I also have a 6-foot-long charging cable for my iPad, so I can charge it while I’m working no matter where I choose to situate myself in my bed. I am a big fan of extra-long charging cables in general, especially for chronically ill people, because unlike shorter cables, they don’t require you to choose between charging your device and staying in a comfortable position.

Software-wise, on my iPad I usually use Google Chrome for any in-browser writing (such as this blog post), Google Docs for articles and client work, and Scrivener for my books. These all sync across my various devices seamlessly, making it easy to move my entire workflow from my desk to my bed when I need or want to.

This is what’s working for me; I’d love to hear from other writers in the comments about what works for you when you write in bed!

“I Could Write About Sex Literally Forever”

Kate Sloan
What I looked like on September 23, 2016

Friends, this week has been a ROUGH ONE as far as my chronic pain goes, so I haven’t had much energy to work on blog stuff. In an effort to get some of that energy back, I turned to 750Words.com, a website that lets you write daily “morning pages” (a creativity-generating practice from Julia Cameron’s brilliant book The Artist’s Way). After I wrote my morning pages today, I went back through my archive – I hadn’t been on 750Words in nearly 5 years, gasp! – and found this old entry from September 23, 2016 where I was talking about wanting to write a book.

With my first book available for preorder now and my second book in-progress and due in a few months (!!), it seemed like a particularly good time to publish this little stream-of-consciousness ramble about Big Book Dreams from back in the day. Hope you enjoy – and if you’re a writer, I hope what you take away from this is that the projects you want to work on can, and probably will, materialize someday. ❤️

I just want to be at a writer’s residency and working on a book in the quiet of the woods, surrounded by reading materials, notebooks, pens, my laptop, birds chirping, looseleaf tea brewing just as the ideas brew in my head. I want this to be real. I want this to happen. I want it so badly I can feel it quaking in my bones. The ache to work on a big-scale project has been percolating in me for months but I don’t know quite what shape this desire will eventually take. Ideas have come and gone, but the fire hasn’t stuck around in any of them yet.

I don’t know if I’m actually mature and level-headed and emotionally steady and passionately committed enough to write a book; that is such a deep and lengthy commitment and I’ve never worked on a writing project of that length and scope before. Except, I guess, for my blog. I’ve been doing that for four and a half years (that semi-anniversary comes up in just a few days actually) and I haven’t even remotely run out of juice and enthusiasm for it yet. I started a sex blog because I knew I could write about sex literally forever – all the ways it intersects with the other parts of our lives, all the ways it is informed by all our interactions and experiences and feelings and memories and histories – and that has proven to be very true. I can go and go and go. I have so much motivation to work on this website. It never runs dry. And even if it occasionally does, I always have so many posts queued up that I can coast through the dry spells, still publishing twice a week like I always have. It’s a good feeling, to know I’ve been so consistent, so dependable, such a reliable source of enthusiasm and information for my readers.

I am very lucky and privileged and blessed to make money from this, but I am also thinking I need to get another job soon because I would like to make enough money to be able to move out, or to afford to travel and go on these retreats and things I want to do. I want the money to pour in from many more sources than it currently is, even though it’s already coming from multiple sources of which I’m very proud (my blog’s affiliate commissions, advertisers, Patreon supporters, copywriting/blogging work for other websites, journalism and essays, even occasionally porn and camming and other forms of online sex work).

I feel so determined to make a career of the things I love to do, and it feels within reach, as I was telling my therapist earlier this week. It feels imminently possible and doable because I know that I am talented and my content is good and helpful and I’m constantly told that by the people who devour my work. I have the feeling of supported notoriety that I craved so badly for all those many years I was blogging on LiveJournal and TeenOpenDiary and putting my outfit photos on Flickr and writing about my life on Tumblr and putting music videos on YouTube and wanting desperately to attract people who would understand my weird brain and accept it in all its broadness and quirkiness and positivity. I wanted to find the people who would be most helped, uplifted, and entranced by the kinds of things I wanted to write. I’ve found those people now.

It’s so juicy and good and I wake up every day lately excited to crack open my laptop and work on something, whether it’s an article for the Establishment or an essay for Bitch Flicks or a series of erotic vignettes for my blog or a chapter of the book on unrequited love I’ve been slowly drafting and mapping out in Scrivener. I don’t know what the eventual project will be that I pour out into the world and make my legacy with, but I know it will be significant to some folks and that is a good thing to know. I have more to say, more to do. I am working toward something that will satisfy and fulfill me. God, it’s delicious.

5 Ways I Make Money As a Blogger

Kate Sloan

This is one of the questions I get asked most often about blogging, so I figured it was time to address it in more detail!

While I don’t know that I’d consider blogging my full-time job, for the past few years years it’s brought in about 45-65% of my total income. Here are the main avenues through which I make money from running this blog…

 

Sponsored content

This is the biggest aspect of what I do here, income generation-wise; sponsored posts brought in 44% of my total blog income in 2020. For the first couple years that I blogged here, I was very resistant to taking on sponsored post assignments – but then I started learning from the lovely ladies of the Blogcademy about what a good sponsored post can be. The best ones, IMO, are entertaining, valuable for readers, and written in your blog’s usual style/voice. After all, that’s what your readers are there for!

Usually, I get a fair amount of freedom to pick the topics and details of my sponsored posts – in part because I basically require this when negotiating deals with potential clients – so all I have to do that’s out of the ordinary is find a way to incorporate 1-3 specific links, with specific keywords, as per the client’s request. I love doing sponsored posts because they allow me to get paid for doing what I like best: writing for my audience, about (mostly) whatever the hell I feel like writing about!

(By the way, a lot of companies seem to think “sponsored post” and “guest post” are synonymous. I get many requests per week to repost someone else’s writing here, in exchange for a fee – but I started this blog because I love to write, not because I love to get paid to post other people’s content! So if someone refuses to let me write the post myself, I tell them we’re not a good fit and bid them adieu.)

 

Advertising

You might notice that there are some banner ads over there in my sidebar, and some text links toward the bottom. These aren’t huge moneymakers – mine made up about 20% of my total blog income last year – but that’s still nothing to sneeze at.

I have similar policies for ads as I do for sponsored content: they have to be relevant to my readership and in line with my ethics. I reserve the right to refuse ads that I consider sexist, homophobic, transphobic, etc., which thankfully hasn’t been much of a problem in the time that I’ve been blogging.

 

Affiliate commissions

Affiliate commissions made up about 35% of my total blog income last year. When I write about sex toys, I often (though not always) use affiliate links. That way, if a reader ends up buying a product through my link, I get a small kickback from that purchase (usually 15-20%) at no added cost to the customer. It’s essentially a way that toy-makers and retailers can incentivize writers to mention their products, and can reward them for doing so.

However, contrary to what some people think, this doesn’t necessarily mean that writers are lying about products when they use affiliate links! See, if I told you a product was great when it actually sucked, or if I wrote something I obviously didn’t actually believe, my readers would figure that out pretty quick and would stop trusting me – which, of course, would not be great for my continued ability to make a living in this field! I also have several affiliates who carry approximately a zillion different products, so there’s very little reason for me to link to a product I don’t like when I could just link to one I do like instead.

 

Consulting

While there are hundreds upon hundreds of blog posts’ worth of information on this site, I can’t answer every single specific question my readers may have. In some cases, they write to me to book a consulting session, so I can advise them (usually via email, sometimes via Skype/Zoom/etc.) on a specific problem they’re having in their life, related to sex, kink, relationships, or something else that I know a thing or two about.

I don’t take on too many of these clients these days because frankly I’m usually too overrun with other projects, but it is nice to be able to help folks from time to time.

 

Other writing assignments

I don’t count the income from non-blog writing when tallying up how much money my blog has made each year, because it is a separate thing – but in some cases, I wouldn’t have been offered an assignment if not for this blog!

Sometimes companies reach out wanting me to write for their on-site blog, or to do copywriting for their product pages. Sometimes editors at publications ask me to expand on a particular topic for their site, having seen me mention said topic here before. A couple times, commissioning editors at publishing houses have even reached out to ask me about writing books for them. “Exposure” isn’t good enough payment on its own, as any frustrated freelancer will tell you – but the exposure I get from this blog often gets me gigs that pay in actual money. Cool!

 

Fellow “pro bloggers,” where does the bulk of your income come from?

P.S. Want more posts like this? Check out the “writing” category of this site!