One of the topics I’ve always cared most about as a sex educator is the importance of clitoral stimulation. Maybe it comes from the many hours I’ve spent trawling the /r/Sex subforum on Reddit, on which you can find at least 3-5 posts per day from either a person with a vagina who can’t reach climax from vaginal intercourse and doesn’t know why, or the cis boyfriend/husband of someone who fits that description complaining that his partner isn’t coming during sex.
It makes me want to scream with frustration sometimes. If a cis man showed up on the forum and wrote, “I’ve never reached orgasm during sex,” and subsequently revealed that no partner had ever touched his penis during sex, nor had it ever occurred to him to touch his own penis during sex, everyone would be like, “WTF, dude? The solution is obvious.” The clitoris is the anatomical equivalent of the penis, so both of these scenarios are equally ridiculous and should be treated as such.
Anyway, lately I’ve been getting back into songwriting, and decided to take a crack at conveying this information through song. Please feel free to share the song with anyone you think needs to hear it! The lyrics are below, incase you want to follow along (or, um, print them out and distribute them to anyone you date in the future so they know what’s up).
I think that I’m bored in bed
Or maybe I’m much too much in my head
I’m loving your kissing
But there’s something missing
I can’t put my finger on it…
Oh yeah!
Touch my clit!
Touch my clit – it would be for my pleasure
Touch my clit, that sensitive treasure
I like how it feels quite a bit
When you’re touching my clit
My friend had a tragic breakup
Her man really needed to wake up
He asked for a rating:
Sex versus masturbating
It led to a miserable split
He should’ve touched her clit!
Touch her clit – it is in your best interest
To treat every clit like a princess
It’s a step you should never (almost never) omit:
Touch their clit!
Just so you understand your callousness
The clit and the dick are analogous
Would you like having your dick ignored
Every time you scored?
Wouldn’t you get bored?
Touch it!
Touch that clit!
And now that you’ve learned basic sex stuff
Here’s even more radical tech stuff:
Toys that vibrate
Are really fucking great
Go pick one up lickety-split
And touch a clit!
Touch that clit, with not many exceptions
You can give them a clitoral erection
Most people like how it feels quite a bit
So touch that clit
Remember to lubricate it
And touch a clit!