Hope you’re holding up okay, loves. Here are some things that made my May more bearable…
Media
• First and foremost, I must direct you to watch all 3 episodes of Middleditch & Schwartz, a Netflix original miniseries of live longform improv shows. These two boys are some of the most skilled improvisors I’ve ever seen, and I say that as someone who used to improvise competitively and has been an improv fangirl/groupie her entire life! These specials gave me some much-needed laughs this month.
• Speaking of laughs, I also really enjoyed Bobby Knauff’s debut stand-up album Rock Bottom. I once saw Bobby perform comedy naked at the Oasis Aqualounge and have understandably liked him ever since!
• Have y’all seen These Thems?! It’s an adorable webseries about a bunch of queerdos flirting and fucking and learning about themselves. I think a lot of you would like it.
• I’ll probably write about this in more detail at some point – it’s still very fresh and I’m still processing it – but I recently took Clementine Morrigan’s online Trauma-Informed Polyamory workshop and it contains honestly potentially life-saving information for trauma survivors trying to do poly. If you struggle with “jealousy” in polyamory that manifests moreso as massive nervous-system distress, and you’ve endured traumas and/or attachment injuries, you really need this class.
• I’m slowly working my way through an advance copy of Emily Willingham’s forthcoming book Phallacy, a seemingly exhaustive and hugely amusing history of the evolution of the penis in humans and other animals. If you like dicks, to a nerdy and/or fetishistic degree, you’d probably dig this.
• Mae Martin’s 2017 stand-up special is full of laughs and truth-bombs about family, queerness, gender, unchillness, and summer camp.
Products
• Hot Octopuss sent me their new-ish bullet vibe, the Amo, and it’s… very fucking good. Powerful and rumbly, easy-to-understand controls scheme, and only $49!! I’ll write a full review eventually…
• Wearing makeup can be a major boon for my mood, but what with all the mask-wearing we’re doing these days, no one can ever see my lipstick (and it ends up getting all over my masks anyway!) so I bought some new eyeshadows from MAC. Hoping they’ll put a little femme spring in my step, despite the circumstances.
• I found a vintage black leather Coach Willis bag from the early oughts on eBay and it is stunning. Looking forward to the day I get to pack it full of books for a solo jaunt to a cocktail bar in a post-pandemic world.
• My partner and I are still making/drinking fancy cocktails on the regular. My current fave ingredients include sherries (fino and amontillado are both so yummy in different ways) and homemade ginger syrup. So many possibilities!
• I bought a pair of black leather flats on deep discount from J. Crew and they are sooo comfy and cute. I seem to go through at least one pair of black flats every summer; hopefully these ones will hold up for a while!
• My current handbag obsession is this silver Coach Poppy pushlock satchel. I don’t own one yet, because, well, as we discussed recently, there isn’t much need for handbags in the age of coronavirus. But I sure do like to stare at this one. Wish I could carry it to a black-tie gala right about now.
• For the first time in my life, I got fucked with a cucumber this month. Um… do you want a blog post about that experience?!
Work & Appearances
• I was so excited when local queer publication Xtra asked me to write them some pieces for Masturbation Month, because I always love working with them. Check out my recs for the best partner-play toys and the best masturbation toys for folks with chronic pain.
• My latest column for Herizons magazine was about a major media pet peeve of mine: when people verbify the MeToo movement to say that particular high-profile rapists have “been MeToo’d” when someone comes forward to allege their wrongdoing, as if it’s the perpetrator’s life who’s been ruined and not the victim’s. Yuck.
• The good folks at LoveLustSecrets asked me to write a series of short erotica stories for them, and I decided to have it center around a plucky redheaded sex shop saleswoman named Ava. Some of my favorite instalments: a welcome-back blowjob, a Clone-a-Willy fuck, some fisting flirtation, and an alleyway wank.
• We had some great guests on the Dildorks this month: first, the author and theologian Tara Isabella Burton came to chat with us about how ethics and religion intersect with kink and non-monogamy, and then we had polyamory experts Kevin Patterson and Dr. Liz Powell on to discuss solutions to common polyam problems during the pandemic. We also addressed a bunch of listener questions about masturbation.
• I wrote some good newsletters this month about 5 kinks I wish I had, happiness during a crisis, my obsession du jour with barbershop quartets, and autofellatio.
Good Causes
• Police violence against Black folks, along with their disproportionate and unfair imprisonment rates, continue to be a rampant problem. The Minnesota Freedom Fund‘s mission is to “pay criminal bail and immigration bond for those who cannot afford to as we seek to end discriminatory, coercive, and oppressive jailing.” A similar organization in New York is the Brooklyn Community Bail Fund.
• Help support street medics’ vitally important work by donating to the North Star Health Collective.
• The family of Regis Korchinski-Paquet is raising funds toward seeking justice for her death (which some are reporting was another incidence of racist police violence, right here in Toronto).
• Food Banks Canada could really use your help getting more food into the hands of those who need it.
• Queer porn legend and superstar stripper Andre Shakti is raising money for protection and housing in the wake of a domestic abuse situation.