This was one of my most sexually active months ever (on record, anyway, i.e. since starting a sex spreadsheet). Here are some of the odd adventures I had in August!
Sex toys
• My Sir brought me some Ananda CBD lube from the Museum of Sex and we tried it out for some fingering and oral stuff. I’m honestly not sure I experienced the purported effects of the cannabinoids, but the peppermint and black pepper extracts certainly kicked my sensitivity up a notch and resulted in some intense orgasms.
• I’ve long had an interest in knife play, and had only tried it with one partner before this month, when my Sir decided they were interested in giving it a shot. We did a cool fear-play scene involving one giant chef’s knife and one less-giant butter knife. Apparently I made noises I’ve never made before…
• While we’re talking about scary sharp things… My ever-adventurous Sir picked up a pair of vampire gloves, which have been on their wishlist for a while, and we tried them out for impact play and general sensory play. They freaked me out a lot and looked very hot!
Fantasy fodder
• So, for whatever reason, I often have to fantasize while receiving oral sex if I’m gonna get off from it, even though I really like it – and one of my most common fantasies along those lines this month was that I’m a spoiled queen/princess/duchess whose royal servants know she must be orally serviced to perfection on a daily basis or she’ll make their lives hell. This is admittedly an odd fantasy for a submissive person to have, but you know, the sex-brain wants what it wants. (When my Sir read this part of this post draft aloud to me, instead of getting mad that I fantasize while having sex with them, like some people would, they just said, “That’s hot.” I love them.)
• Another fave cunnilingus-accompanying fantasy this month was that my partner is an orally gifted sex worker who comes well-recommended by other, similarly discerning women. Honestly, if I was single and ever met a sex worker as babely and skilled as my partner, I would keep them on speed-dial.
• At one point this month we did an experiment where I wrote a blog post while my partner was going down on me in an attempt to distract me. (This was one of Bex‘s many genius ideas – thanks, Bex.) It resulted in a forthcoming post that I think you’ll find interesting…
Sexcetera
• The coolest sex-related event I attended this month was a TES workshop on the intersections between sadomasochism and hypnokink, taught by Mr. Dream and Pinky. There was a good balance of useful information and entertaining demos. I held Matt’s hand for a lot of it; it was nice to learn about intense hypno shit while sitting next to the person with whom I most enjoy doing intense hypno shit.
• My newsletter, Sub Missives, is still going strong. Some fave issues this month included the ones about knife play, romantic tattoos, and chronic pain.
• Are you subscribed to Question Box yet?! The episode guest-starring Merritt K might be my favorite so far. Also, while I’m repping my podcasts, you should know that The Dildorks is on Spotify now!
• Sextistics: I had in-person sex 31 times in August (wow!!) and phone sex 15 times, totaling 46 sex sessions. Truly silly.
Femme stuff
• Matt took me on a jeans-shopping mission and I picked up some mid-rise skinnies from Madewell. I have a weird relationship with jeans – they’ve historically made me feel somewhat shitty in my body and my gender, and yet I keep buying them and trying to like them nonetheless – but these look and feel lovely, so I’m optimistic that they’ll actually get worn on a regular basis.
• I admired on Matt – and then later borrowed from them – a super soft, plain white T-shirt that says, simply, “I’m bisexual.” It might be the ideal item of clothing?
• I got annoyed with my hair and chopped several inches off it. A fantastic thing about having my particular type of curly hair is being able to do this without it ending up looking highly uneven.
Media
• I’ve been slowly working through the mega-sized novel that is Special Topics in Calamity Physics. It’s smart and charming and all-too-frequently relatable to me as a former precocious high-schooler. Marisha Pessl writes some damn beautiful sentences.
• I’ve been extolling the book Because Internet in every medium lately, so might as well do it here, too… It’s a dorkily detailed dissection of internet-era language trends and the factors that influence them. A must-read for anyone who writes or reads online.
• The new June EP from singer/songwriter Jeremy Larson’s project Violents is a cute set of 4 songs about his adopted daughter Nova. (Follow @ElsieLarson and @ViolentsMusic on Instagram right now for daily doses of Nova cuteness, plus her baby sister Marigold. I DIE.) I first fell in love with Jeremy’s music 9 years ago when he released an EP about his wife Elsie; dude sure knows how to write a love-filled bop.
Little things
Working from bed. Going to see the new Tarantino movie with Dan (and solo food-court dates before movies). Late-night outings to Bar Isabel. Writing an assignment about domestic skills I want to learn so I can be a good 1950s housewife. Inheriting some cool stuff from my grandparents (notably: cookware and a golden deck of cards). “Queen Nora is not a scammer!” Coming out as demisexual (thank you, I love you). Finally getting to introduce Matt to some of my favorite men (Eric, Brent, and Dick!). Crafting a column about incels for Herizons. Going out to celebrate my book deal (of which more soon). Taking lewds in fancy restaurant bathrooms. My Twitter followers sharing their romantic memories with me. Sir teaching me how to make a Southside cocktail. Working out of the Lickability office for a day (and joining the staff for game night!). My jobs, and how flexible and nomadic they allow me to be. Still being loved even if I have a panic attack in a taxi and throw up in a fancy restaurant (YIKES). Matt impromptu-ly and romantically offering to extend my New York trip. Watching the sun rise through the big windows in Newark airport. Getting back to Toronto after time away.