The “Helpless Little Slut” Instruction Manual

Kate Sloan

Author’s note: Last Christmas Eve, I had just met my boyfriend 2 weeks earlier and already we were sexting rather frequently and intensely. He was my Sir and my daddy, and I was his good girl and his helpless little slut. I mentioned to him in passing that it can be hard to get me off more than once in a session, and that partners usually only figure out how to do it after lots of practice. Sir had an idea – he assigned me the task of writing instructions for giving me multiple orgasms, in the style of a toy’s instruction manual. Ever a teacher’s pet, I started writing immediately, and later that night – after a distracted viewing of It’s a Wonderful Life during which I wrote and wrote – I sent him this. Enjoy!

Congratulations on the purchase of your very own Helpless Little Slut®, this season’s hottest toy!

Your new fuckdoll comes equipped with several built-in parts which enable her to reach Orgasm or (for advanced players) Multiple Orgasms. These parts include:
• Her Clit
• Her G-Spot (located 2–3 inches inside her Pussy on the front wall)
• Her A-Spot (located 5–6 inches inside her Pussy on the front wall, in front of her Cervix)

Understanding these features is vital to making full use of your Slut, so take a few moments to locate them before playing!

What follows is a guide for inducing Multiple Orgasms in your Slut. She doesn’t require batteries, so with skill, attention, and patience, you’ll learn how to make her keep going and going and going!

Step One: Warm-Up

Your Slut works best when powered up gradually and with care. Take your time with this for optimal operation later on.

Jumping straight to your Slut’s sensitive Clit can short-circuit her system. Approach with caution!

Before you proceed to her Pussy, we recommend warming up your Slut with activities including, but not limited to:
• Kissing her Lips, Face, Neck, Shoulders, Breasts, Belly, and Thighs
• Biting her Lips, Neck, Shoulders, Arms, Breasts, and Thighs
• Sucking her Lips (the ones on her face) and Nipples
• Holding her down with firm pressure on her Wrists, Arms, or Chest
• Slapping her Breasts, Ass, Thighs, and Face
• Exploring and discovering your own technique(s)!

You’ll know your Slut is ready for the next step when she is:
• Moaning
• Rolling her Hips
• Flushed
• Wet
• Increasingly incoherent
• Begging for it

Step Two: External Stimulation

Your Slut’s Clit is the most sensitive and responsive part of her anatomy. Approach it with care and caution so as not to overload her processor.

As you wait for her Clit to reach full sensitivity and readiness, we recommend exploring and stimulating these nearby areas on your Slut:
• Inner Thighs
• Mons Pubis
• Outer Labia
• Inner Labia
• Vaginal Opening (taste it for a burst of flavor!)
• External G-Spot (easily locatable due to red heart decal ❤️)

When your Slut is ready to have her Clit touched, she’ll make telltale whining and groaning sounds. See how loud you can make her before you deign to proceed!

Your fuckdoll’s Clit comes equipped with a Clitoral Hood which serves to protect her Clit from overstimulation and pain. Stimulate her Clit through its Hood and/or the Inner Labia at all times for best performance! (This rule may occasionally be broken by advanced players but we do not recommend beginners eschew this measure.)

Hint: Giving Multiple Orgasms to your Slut is easiest if her first Orgasm occurs from solely Clit stimulation.

Use your fingers and/or mouth on your Slut’s Clit. Listen and respond to her sound effects to learn what to do!

Hint: Your Slut’s first Orgasm can usually be induced without the use of a Vibrator, but subsequently she may need the additional power of a mechanical supplement, such as the We-Vibe Tango or Magic Wand Rechargeable. Hold it yourself or (for your added convenience and freedom) instruct her to do so!

Troubleshooting: If your Slut freezes up with an Anxiety Error, try these handy passphrases, or variations thereof, to get her functioning again:
• “You taste delicious.”
• “You’re beautiful.”
• “Just relax and enjoy.”
• “I could do this all night.”
• “Does that feel good, baby?”

Increase the length and intensity of your Slut’s Orgasm by applying rhythmic, firm pressure to her Clit, Clitoral Hood, and Clitoral Shaft while her Orgasm occurs.

Step Three: Interlude

After Orgasm, your Slut’s delicate Clit needs time to reset. However, you can still play with her! This is an opportune time for other activities, including but not limited to:
• Kissing, Biting, and Slapping (see above)
• Blowjobs (your Slut’s yielding Mouth becomes even more so after Orgasm!)
• Penetration (see below)
• Cuddling
• Touching and/or Squeezing her Shoulders, Breasts, Back, and Hips
• Pressing her External G-Spot with firm, circular pressure

Your Slut’s Refractory Period may last as few as ten minutes or as long as an hour. Don’t despair: there are lots of fun ways to use her in the meantime!

Troubleshooting: if your Slut seems overly fatigued after Orgasm, she may be in need of water, a snack, and/or some words of reassurance. However, some fatigue and incoherence is normal at this stage. (For advanced players: she may be particularly susceptible at this stage to Erotic Hypnosis.)

Hint: We recommend returning to the Warm-Up step (see above), albeit for perhaps a shorter period, before attempting to give your Slut a second Orgasm.

Step Four: Penetration

Optionally, you may touch the inside of your Slut’s Pussy with your fingers, your cock, and/or a Dildo.

Your Slut’s G-Spot responds to hard pounding or pulsing, while her A-Spot prefers firm stroking and pulling. Both Spots work best when stroked with a consistent, steady rhythm. Your Slut may ask for a faster rhythm as she approaches Orgasm; it is up to your discretion whether you give her what she wants!

Hint: Your Slut comes pre-equipped with interactive communication abilities for easier location and stimulation of her Spots. Override your Slut’s frequent incoherence by asking simple “yes/no” or “either/or” questions, such as:
• “Do you want it deeper?”
• “Harder or softer?”
• “Faster or slower?”

Important: Though your Slut responds positively to Penetration, her Clit must also be touched if Orgasm is your goal. Handily, your Slut can handle this herself with her Fingers or a Vibrator if you are otherwise occupied. (Don’t forget to release her Dominant Hand [the right one on the standard model] from any restraints that may be restricting it if you would like to activate her Self-Stimulation Mode.)

Penetration makes Orgasm easier for your Slut and also results in a stronger, longer Orgasm. Note: this means Multiple Orgasms are most easily achieved if you deny your Slut the Penetration she craves until after her first Orgasm.

Troubleshooting: Add Lube to your Slut’s Pussy as needed if it becomes dry or uncomfortable, so she can remain usable for you as long as possible! (Some types we recommend: Sliquid Sassy and Sutil.)

After each Orgasm, return to the Interlude stage to keep from overloading your Slut’s Clit.

Note: Your Slut’s daily Orgasm limit is likely to be three, depending on her comfort, sensitivity, recency of other Orgasms, and other pertinent factors. However, we invite you to aim for the stars!

By following these instructions, you’ll be able to maximize your enjoyment of your brand-new Helpless Little Slut®!

How to Flag as Kinky on a Dating Site

Kate Sloan

Dating while kinky is hard! The majority of people are vanilla (or think they are), so having BDSM proclivities can narrow your dating pool significantly, especially if your kinks are a crucial part of your sexuality.

However, kinky people have been flagging to find other kinksters since time immemorial, and though online dating sites are a far cry from the cruising parks and leather bars of yore, you can flag there, too. Here are some ways to do that!

Consider a dating site specifically for kinky people

Though they are certainly rarer and smaller than vanilla dating sites, kink-specific hubs – like BDSM Dating Only – are out there and are worth a shot. You’ll have fewer potential matches to choose from, sure, but the ones you can choose from will be more open-minded than the average person when it comes to kinks.

Include visual cues

These are likely to go unnoticed by vanilla viewers, but kinksters will pick up on them right away. For example, you could wear a collar in some of your photos, frame one of them so your prized impact toy collection is visible behind you, or share a photo of you all dressed up at a kink event.

Use kink language

When you describe yourself in your profile, for example, you could note as an aside that you’re “subby,” “sadomasochistically inclined,” “sexually open-minded,” or whatever wording works best for you. You could call yourself a “good girl,” a “leather boots enthusiast,” or “a whiz with a paddle.” Get creative!

Mention kinky interests

Do you like going to munches? Are you passionate about leather culture? Is Mollena Williams-Haas one of your all-time favorite people on this planet? Again, vanilla people will mostly just skip over this information, while kinksters’ ears will perk up immediately. You could also just keep it simple and include the word “kink” in a list of your interests.

Link to kinkier stuff elsewhere

For example, you could provide your FetLife username so potential paramours can go creep your profile and see if you’d be compatible. Or you could link your R-rated Instagram page to your profile, to satisfy curious connoisseurs. Or, if you’re me, you could say, “I write a blog; you can check it out at girlyjuice.net”!

Hint with your media preferences

For example, listing Secretary as one of your favorite movies could raise some eyebrows (just don’t list Fifty Shades – a lot of kinksters hate that franchise, for good reasons!). You could slip The New Topping Book or SM 101 into your “favorite books” section. Mention favorite podcasts like Why Are People Into That? and The Dildorks (hiiii!). Like-minded people will message you in a tizzy about your impeccable taste!

Just say it

It only needs to be one line of your profile – something like “I’m kinky as fuck and ideally looking for a sadistic dominant person,” or “I prefer to take control in the bedroom and am looking to date submissive folks with a masochistic streak.” This approach has the advantage of being amazingly clear, but it may also discourage people who only maybe-sorta identify as kinky, or who find your openness about kink a bit overwhelming. That said, if you know what you want, you may as well come right out and say it!

How do you like to flag as kinky on dating sites?

 

Heads up: this post was sponsored. As always, all writing and opinions are my own.

Holiday Gift Ideas For… Your Dominant

Kate Sloan

Got no ideas for a holiday gift for your dom, even though they have seemingly neverending ideas for things to do to you? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! Here are some suggestions…

A planned date night. Pick up a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant and tickets to a movie/play/musical/concert they would love, and make sure to handle all the reservations and considerations in advance so they don’t have to lift a finger. What a thoughtful sub you are!

Their favorite sensory pleasures. Good whiskey, nice cigars, a big bottle of their signature perfume, a nicer sound system, thick knit socks… Treat your dom to something that’ll give them sensual joy every time they pick it up.

Your sexual thoughts and fantasies written down. You could keep a masturbation journal for a month, recording every time you get off and what you were thinking about. You could create a list of kink activities you’d like to try with your partner. You could paste in some of your favorite photos of them and write about what you find sexiest in each. Your imagination is the only limitation here!

Implements for their favorite kinks. The classy sadist in your life absolutely needs a Weal & Breech paddle, for example. Pick up some new candles for your favorite wax-play aficionado, or some exquisite rope for your beloved bondage top. You get the idea.

A Kink Academy subscription, so they can learn about all sorts of pervy things to do to you. How sweet!

A fine piece of clothing. It doesn’t have to be super expensive (vintage shops, Etsy, and eBay can help with this), but it should be nice. What fashion item would truly delight your dom? A necklace from their favorite designer? A silk tie in colors they wear a lot? A pair of leather gloves that match their well-worn jacket?

A sexy photo of you, framed. You don’t have to go the traditional “boudoir” route if that’s too boring for you; how about a photo of a bruise they’ve given you, an especially beautiful rope tie they did on you, or a particularly subby face you’ve made in a selfie? Bonus points if it’s a photo that holds a lot of personal meaning in your relationship, like one taken on your first date or the night you first told one another you loved each other.

What would you consider the ideal gift for a dominant?

Holiday Gift Ideas For… Your Submissive

Kate Sloan

Did your sub provide faithful service all year? Did they take all the pain/humiliation/orgasms you inflicted on them with aplomb? Do they just have the cutest goddamn face in the world? If so, they probably deserve presents. Here are some suggestions!

A collar ornament. Assuming your sub already has a collar – which, if they don’t, but you’ve discussed and negotiated it, then the holidays are as good a time as any to take them shopping for one! – some extra adornments for it might be just the thing to spruce it up for the holiday season. L’Amour-Propre makes cute collar tags that say things like “Owned” and “Toy,” and you can even get one custom-engraved.

Aftercare treats. This is particularly sweet if you’re long-distance and you regularly partake of shenanigans like phone sex, Skype sex, or sexting; it’ll be like you’re taking care of them after you fuck them from afar. Pick them up some of their favorite candy or chocolate or a case of their favorite hydrating beverage.

Tools for their favorite service tasks. A nice bootblacking kit so they can keep your shoes shiny. The necessary ingredients and glassware for making and serving your fave cocktail at the end of a long day. A fancy feather duster for tidying your bookshelves (complete with a French maid uniform, if you like!).

A nicer version of their favorite sex toy. If they love wand vibes, get them a Doxy Die Cast. If realistic dicks make them wet, they need a VixSkin dildo. If they adore nipple clamps, get them some Weal & Breech ones. For a better value, you could also pick them up a specially-made sex toy gift set, like the We-Vibe Discover box or the Fifty Shades Freed Pleasure Overload set.

Beautiful stationery for writing-based tasks. You could have them keep a journal of their sexual thoughts and fantasies, for example, or require that they write you a weekly love letter. This type of task is more satisfying for both of you if the supplies being used are gorgeous and high enough quality to last a long time.

A stuffed animal for when they miss you. Bonus points if you pick or make one that actually looks like you, and even more bonus points if you can make it smell like you! The Build-a-Bear workshop could also be a cute place to take your sub on a date so you can create their gift together.

Something for their self-improvement, like a ticket to a weekend intensive, a workbook on cognitive behavioral therapy, or a gym membership. (Um, negotiate this sort of thing first. Buying someone a fitness-based present could come off pretty rude if you don’t know for a fact it’s something they want for themselves.) If part of your role as their dom is to guide them onto a better life path, this is a lovely way to do it.

What would you consider the ideal gift for a submissive?

Protocol Diaries: To-Do, Ta-Da!

Kate Sloan

It started – as many of our protocols do – with a more unofficial version, before either of us could acknowledge with confidence that we wanted something more.

Throughout the early months of our D/s dynamic, I would sometimes text my Sir a frazzled list of my various tasks for the day: finish dayjob work, write blog post, take photos, wash dishes, do laundry, and so on. I did this because I wanted him to press me to actually do those things, which, fortunately, he did. There are few things more disappointing, as a submissive, than hinting that you want some measure of discipline and receiving, instead, an oblivious nothing.

As time progressed, I took to copy-and-pasting my to-do list from my Notes app directly into a text to him – not every day, but sometimes. And then its frequency crept closer to daily. He said he enjoyed knowing what I was up to, on a granular level, at any given day – that it made him feel closer to me, even though we’re long-distance.

One day in September, after weeks of this, I tentatively texted him: “I wonder if my daily to-do list should be a shared note with you. Or is that too hardcore DD/lg for us?” We already had several shared notes – most notably, one that lays out our rules, protocols, and relationship boundaries, like a D/s contract for the digital age – but I was concerned that this one would be placing too much responsibility on him. Having everyday access to my to-do list would implicitly come with the duty to keep an eye on my tasks and my status, and to reward or perhaps punish me accordingly.

It took him fifteen minutes to get back to me, because he was swamped at work, but those minutes felt interminable because I was so worried he would say no. Instead, when he did respond, he said, “Oh my god. How did you read my mind? I thought about that all day yesterday.”

As we discussed it more, it came out that both of us had been wanting this for a while but had felt guilty about wanting it. This has been a recurring theme in our ever-evolving D/s negotiations. I’ve learned to trust, at this point, that if I want something, or have thought about it, odds are good that he wants it or has thought about it too. Some would say we’re in sync because we’re profoundly in love and an uncommonly good match; I would add that we’re also both total pervs, in many of the same peculiar little ways.

We’ve gone several weeks now with me making a to-do list almost every day (every weekday, some weekends), and we talk often about how much we both love it. He loves it because it makes him feel more closely entangled in my daily life, it gives him a sense of how much is on my plate on any given day so he knows whether he can safely assign me additional tasks, it supplies information he needs to support and encourage me properly as a dom, and it’s an incredibly intimate window into my brain (always a selling point for a hypnokinkster). I love it because it feels like a deep sign of mutual trust, it helps me feel more accomplished when I get things done, and it makes me likelier to actually do the things I need to do.

I felt guilty about this at first, and spiralled into self-doubting thoughts. Why is it easier for me to stay on top of my tasks when a man is supervising my progress? Shouldn’t I be self-sufficient, driven, and motivated all on my own? Isn’t it unfeminist, unevolved, or psychologically lazy of me to rely on someone else to fuel my motivation?

But in thinking about it more, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that there’s nothing inherently wrong with pursuing externally-imposed structure and validation. We all do it, to some extent. It’s part of why we post things on Facebook, dress to impress when we go out, and curate our life’s aesthetic to be more Instagram-friendly. My friend Bex once told me that he sometimes goes on wild adventures just so he’ll be able to say he did on social media, and that if it takes an external force to get him to do something fun (like pose for kinky pictures with Santa), so what? He still did the fun thing, so everyone wins. In this case, I usually complete every task on my to-do list and I deepen and intensify my connection with my partner, so… what’s really the problem here?

I think our culture is over-invested in the myth of total self-sufficiency, of “independence,” when what we should really be focusing on is interdependence and how we can support each other and lift each other up. No man is an island, as the saying goes. D/s just makes those connections more explicit in how they function and what’s expected of them – and makes them hotter, in the process, to those involved.

My partner has told me that he wants me to eventually become more self-sustaining – and I’ve already seen that happen in some of our other protocols. Sometimes, for example, I take my iron pill and forget to text him about it, because the daily habit of texting him about it has also instilled the daily habit of taking the pill. Maybe one day I’ll feel as fired up about plowing through my to-do list solo as I do when I know my dom has his eye on it. This is yet another way kink makes me a stronger, better, more fulfilled person.