When people ask me whether I “believe in tarot,” I don’t really know what to say. I’ve gotten tarot readings at some of the most critical times in my life, times that felt like a crossroads toward different potential versions of my future, and the cards – or, more accurately, the people reading the cards – have given me advice that shaped how I moved through my life’s next chapter.
For instance, in 2016, I sought counsel from a tarot-reading acquaintance of mine because I had gone through multiple romantic disappointments in a row: unrequited love, rejection, revelations of a partner’s abusive tendencies. I felt off-kilter and like I was attracting these terrible experiences into my life through something I was doing, or not doing. The reading told me pretty decisively that I needed to speak up more assertively about my boundaries and expectations in relationships going forward, and to be more guarded rather than letting people in right away. That advice has served me well ever since.
A year later, I sought another reading from the same person because I wanted some guidance with regards to my sex life. The cards declared that I should pay more attention to the wisdom of my body when making sexual decisions – i.e. if someone gives you a bad feeling, it’s probably for a reason – and that I should be more intentional in the way I approached dating. Again, this advice was exactly what I needed to hear and helped me turn my life around. I met my now-spouse later that year, by which time I had gotten much better at trusting my gut feelings about people and pursuing the people I liked with deliberate intention.
Obviously, tarot has been pretty transformative for me in how it’s allowed me to reflect on my own patterns – regardless of whether or not the cards actually have mystical properties like some people say (I really don’t know!). So I was delighted to get a reading earlier this week from Tazia Kuhani of Higher Self Tarot, and I wanted to write about it here.
I’m going through kind of a tough time lately, both personally and professionally. On a personal level, my mental health has been really tumultuous as I’ve been working through my traumas in therapy and getting actively confronted by triggers on a regular basis. Professionally speaking, I started a new gig recently that is taking up most of my time, so I’m struggling to balance my energy levels appropriately – and I’m having a lot of impostor syndrome about whether I “deserve” such prestigious bylines, even though I’ve worked for over ten years to get here. Needless to say, it felt like a good time to ask for some wisdom from a tarot pro!
I explained these issues to Tazia when she asked me what I wanted our reading to focus on, and we decided we’d do one short reading for my work life and one for my personal life.
The work-focused reading validated some things I already knew but hadn’t quite articulated to myself: that the expectations my editors have of me are high, but that I am skilled enough to meet or exceed them; that there might be an annoying adjustment period while I get used to a different work schedule and workload; and that doing my work with integrity and passion is my best route forward.
I found this astonishing because I hadn’t actually told Tazia anything about my new job or the things about it that I’ve been struggling with, but her interpretations of the cards she pulled were spot-on nonetheless. Tarot is wild!
As for the personal reading – Tazia pulled 3 cards that identified problems I’m dealing with, and 3 more cards that contained some advice for those problems. The actual issues I wanted advice on are too vulnerable and fresh for me to feel comfy sharing them here, but again, I was blown away by how accurate and specific the reading was. As someone who’s pulled tarot cards for myself as well as gotten professional readings, I can say that paying a professional has always been worthwhile for me. The cards alone can give me some information, or at least help me reflect more clearly and deliberately on the struggles I’m facing – but when an experienced pro can interpret the cards for you, especially a pro who knows a bit about you and your life, it’s a game-changer.
At the end of the reading, Tazia asked if there was anything I wanted clarification on. We had touched on my work in trauma therapy at one point in the personal reading, and I asked for some additional advice on how to move forward in the therapeutic process without feeling stuck or stalled out.
Tazia pulled two additional cards for me, both of which were meant to be advice on my trauma therapy process. The first one was The Fool, which she said meant that I should approach therapy as if I know nothing and am learning it all afresh. The Fool encourages us to listen and open up to what we don’t know, even if it seems foreign or strange. This card was telling me to become a student of my own trauma rather than trying to beat it into submission or speed through the process.
The second card she pulled was the Queen of Cups. Tazia said this card spoke to the role of creativity in my healing process – that I should lean into art-making, whether that be music, writing, or anything else, as a route through which to unpack my trauma.
Both of these cards felt super resonant and relevant to me, and gave me the little push I needed to feel like working through this stuff is still worthwhile. As my therapist told me when we began trauma therapy together two years ago, typically it gets harder before it gets easier, because you’re uncovering some old, raw stuff and it can be painful and destabilizing. But the important thing is to be patient with yourself and to keep going – which, of course, is easier said than done. This tarot reading helped me feel, more than ever, like that’s the right thing to do, even when it feels incredibly challenging.
If you want to book a reading with Tazia for yourself – and I would highly recommend you do so if there’s any situation in your life right now that you could use some guidance on – you can click this link to learn more. Tazia’s offering 5% off her already wildly reasonable prices for Girly Juice readers when you use the code “GIRLY” – go go go!
