Sex toys are often an impulsive purchase. You’re horny and you order the dildo you wish you could use right now, or you fantasize about flogging your partner and have to immediately purchase the equipment needed to follow through on this fantasy, or you read a saucy sex toy review online that riles you up and you order the product on the spot. Promotional slogans like “FREE shipping on orders over $35” and “sex toys, next day delivery” can easily catch your eye in a Google search. You get out your credit card, gleeful, eager.
But if Amazon is your go-to place to buy sex toys, I think you should think twice about that. Here are 7 reasons it’s generally a terrible idea to order sex toys from Amazon.
1. Toys on Amazon are often mislabeled, whether accidentally or intentionally. This means you can get a porous toy that claimed to be nonporous, or a toxic toy that claimed to be body-safe. You really can’t know for sure what’s in a toy unless you have it tested in a laboratory, so it’s far better to order from sellers you trust – and Amazon, as a whole, just isn’t trustworthy.
2. Toys on Amazon are often counterfeit copies of the toys they actually claim to be. If a deal seems too good to be true, it usually is. Placing an order on Amazon for a Magic Wand or an Njoy dildo, for example, is super risky because of how often these toys are poorly copied by shitty companies trying to make a buck.
3. Toys on Amazon might be USED. Yes, it’s true: morally unsavory third-party sellers on Amazon have been known to resell previously used and returned toys. I’m sure it’s rare, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take; how about you?
4. You’ll get a better idea of a toy in-person. It’s far too easy to accidentally order a toy on Amazon that’s way too big or way too small for your needs, particularly since so many of them are mislabeled or poorly described. It’s also impossible to tell how buzzy or rumbly a vibrator is without feeling it in person, or to figure out whether an insertable toy is squishy or unforgivingly hard without actually squeezing it. Sex toy reviews can help, but these things are subjective to some extent, so it’s best to touch and test out a toy for yourself in a sex shop if you’re considering buying it.
5. Independent sex shops need your money more, and offer much more value in terms of being community hubs and sex education sources. You might pay more at a local shop than you’d pay on Amazon, sure, but you’ll be supporting people who actually know stuff about sex toys and are committed to promoting sex-positivity and pleasure. These stores are also more accessible than buying online for many people, such as teens and older folks; keeping local shops in business helps ensure that those people have continued access to sex products.
6. Does Jeff Bezos really need more money? I mean, come on. He’s the world’s first-ever “centi-billionnaire.” He owns hundreds of millions of dollars’ worth of real estate. He’s going to fucking space. If you decide to spend your dollars elsewhere, trust me, he’ll live. 🙄
7. Amazon workers are terribly mistreated. There’s an entire “criticism of Amazon” article on Wikipedia, a massive subsection of which is titled “treatment of workers,” which should give you an idea of just how bad this problem really is. They are frequently required to work long hours without breaks, their attempts at unionizing have been heavily suppressed, and they were forced to continue working in close quarters during the COVID-19 pandemic despite the obvious riskiness of this. People of color – especially Black people – are also vastly overrepresented in the delivery and customer support sectors of Amazon, and vastly underrepresented in its leadership and corporate sectors. It’s fucked up. And Bezos doesn’t seem to care at all.
There are some sex toy companies who legitimately sell their wares on Amazon, often because they know it can help them increase their sales by reaching customers they wouldn’t otherwise be able to reach. But for the most part, I would not recommend buying sex toys from Amazon. Doing so is a medical and ethical mess, and it’s just not worth the hassle when you could place an online order from an indie shop instead, or just stroll into your local store to pick up that new vibe or butt plug you’ve had your eye on.
This post was sponsored (not by Amazon, lol). As always, all writing and opinions are my own.