bootblacking

Monthly Faves: Southsides & Sweet Sadists

Kate Sloan

March was kind of a weird month for my mental health but I still managed to get fucked real good a bunch… Here were some of my fave things this month!

Sex toys

• SheVibe sent me a Neon Wand a little while ago after I mentioned being curious about electrostimulation (thank you, sweet angels!) and I finally got to try it out with a partner this month. M’boyf strapped me down using my under-the-bed restraints and then proceeded to zap me all over various tender body parts until I turned into a subspacey mess. Full review to come!

• I requested a Liberator Axis from Betty’s Toy Box and I’m even more into it than I thought I would be. It’s a sexual positioning aid, much like the Liberator Wedge or Jaz, except it has a slot where you can insert your Magic Wand. Ideal for hands-free clitoral stimulation while getting fucked from behind or spanked!

• Did y’all know that it’s really fun to fuck someone with an Njoy Pfun plug while you’re blowing them? Well, it is.

Fantasy fodder

• I mentioned hysteria kink last month but I’m gonna talk about it again, dammit. One night in mid-March after a tipsy date at Northwood, my darlin’ was kissing and spanking me in bed when he suddenly said, “I want you to take off your panties and be my patient.” I knew immediately that he meant he wanted to enact the kind of medical-play scene we’d sexted about on many an occasion. Swoooon. I’ve fantasized about this type of play for a long time, so it felt especially magical to have him expertly pull an orgasm from my body with the Eleven and Doxy #3 while mumbling darkly about what a good patient I was and how much better I was going to feel after the procedure.

• Welp, you can file bootblacking under “things I liked in fantasy that I ended up liking even more IRL.” After plenty o’ sexting about it, my Sir and I finally gave bootblacking a shot this month, with him in a comfortable armchair and me on a leash at his feet. I got waaay more subspacey and trancey than I was expecting; it was meditative and lovely. And his shoes looked fucking great afterward.

• I’m experimenting with dominance a little these days. I’ve played with it before, but usually only with people I was exclusively dominant over; it’s rare I attempt to switch with people who normally dom me. But it’s been fun. I like roleplaying as a withholding mistress or a bratty blackmailing schoolgirl. (And I love that one of my favorite subby kink honorifics, “princess,” works just as well for me in a dominant role if we spell it with a capital P…)

Sexcetera

• Check me out on the Bed Post podcast! Erin and I had a great chat about hypnokink, DD/lg, sex spreadsheets, and more.

• I was so proud of my friend Suz this month when she relaunched her website and held a rad party to celebrate the occasion. There was a delicious signature cocktail called the Sex on the Peach, genitalia cupcakes, porn screenings, “CUM” balloons, a spanking booth, and more. I had so much fun dancing the night away to ’90s pop in a super slutty outfit. Congrats, Suz!

Femme stuff

• I bought sequinned leggings from the Gap and they’re so good. I used to own a pair like these in high school and I wore them so much they literally fell apart. Looking forward to going dancing in these; I’ll be a walking disco ball!

• My Sir ordered a couple custom pieces for me from L’Amour-Propre this month: a leash in the same blue suede as my collar, and a silver heart-shaped lock with “Daddy’s” engraved on it. We’re still feeling out exactly what the lock is for and under what circumstances I’ll wear it, but I’ve been wearing it on a silver chain and treating it as basically a fancier collar, and it’s so pretty!

• I bought a Dildorks shirt. It’s cute as fuck. You can order your own here!

Little things

Dinner and a comedy show with my bruddy. The boyf staying up with me on FaceTime til 2:30AM, helping me with a research project and making me laugh. Ukulele jam sessions. Making money doing what I love. Seeing Stacey Kent in concert after loving her music for like 15 years. My new tattoo, still. Giggling at Flo & Joan songs with Zoe over gin and tonics. My new roommate’s two cats (I have befriended… one of them). My sweet Sir asking if he could call me when I was having a bad mental health night by saying, “Are you sure you don’t just wanna hear my voice be silly and stuff? You don’t have to do anything; I can just be entertaining and complimentary.” Watching the hot bartender at the Crow’s Theatre make me a wonderful old-fashioned. My two favorite songs of the month, “Like or Like Like” and “Kidnap Me.” Pizza and wine with Rosaline, as per usual. Sir visiting me in Toronto, and getting to take him to my fave places. The breakfast special at Dooney’s. Crossing things off to-do lists. Sipping a Southside with my daddy while talking about D/s semantics.

Monthly Faves: Dildorks, Dresses, and Daddy

Kate Sloan

Wow, I got up to a lot of kinky shit this past month. Here were some of my favorite things in February…

Sex toys

• My partner is really into fucking me with the Njoy Eleven lately – or, more often, making me fuck myself with it while he instructs me on speed, strength, and depth over the phone. Nothing else in my collection feels quite like this toy. It’s really an astonishing piece of steel.

• Loving the purpleheart truncheon I picked up from Weal & Breech at the Playground Conference. It’s lovely and thuddy, the craftsmanship is beautiful, and I adore the included black leather wrist strap. This company’s wares are so classy and gorgeous, not to mention painful in the best way.

• I told a story at Tell Me Something Good about hypnokink (more on that next week!) and when I was selected to win a prize at the end of the night, someone suggested I choose the Ruse Hypnotize, for obvious reasons. I’ve used it a few times since then and it’s pretty good for its price point: a nice-quality silicone dildo of a satisfying shape and size, that can hit my A-spot and makes for pretty blowjobs on camera. (“Can confirm,” my boyf says.)

Fantasy fodder

• Ageplay is a new thing to my boyfriend, but he’s enjoying being my Daddy. We’ve done a few phone-sex scenes involving me being little and him teaching me a thing or two about my sexual anatomy, or his. Fuuuck, it’s so hot.

• We’ve also been talking a fair bit about bootblacking, one of those interesting kinks that came out of nowhere for me and that I can’t quite explain. I remember telling him on our first date that I liked his shiny shoes, and since then I’ve increasingly wanted to kneel in front of him, put my face/lips/tongue all over his shoes, shine ’em up, and so on. Maybe we’ll experiment with this in March when he comes to visit me.

• I’ve mentioned to my partner a couple times that I have long-time fantasies about Victorian “hysteria” treatments: having orgasms coolly administered to me by a medical professional for my own good. We did some intense in-character sexting about that this month (ain’t it nice when two improv geeks date?!) and he also mentioned wanting to strap me down and use my Zumio to extract an orgasm from me. Um, yes please.

Sexcetera

• It was neat to get to try the new Cowgirl vibrator at the Museum of Sex this month. Aside from concerns about its unnecessarily gendered name and marketing (which we discussed in-depth in a recent Dildorks episode), I enjoyed giving it a shot. My partner picked up the control panel and said “May I?” and I basically melted onto the floor. The Cowgirl is rumblier than the Sybian (at least, it’s rumblier than my 2.5-year-old memory of the Sybian) and I found it more comfortable to sit on. I think I’ll get to try it again soon at Suz’s blog relaunch party (which you should come to!).

• The Playground Conference fucking ruled. Some highlights of my time there: speaking on the opening plenary with a bunch of brilliant babes; my Sir ordering pizza and a cookie to my hotel room all the way from New York when I was too overwhelmed to figure out food for myself; Kevin Patterson shouting us out in his keynote; learning about turning fantasies into realities; recording a live Dildorks episode; spanking a couple of beauties with a bible and various other implements; seeing (and livetweeting) Bex teaching blowjobs; introverty dinners with clever cuties. So much love to the conference’s organizer Samantha Fraser, who is a total badass and deserves all the applause!

Femme stuff

• In discussing how to maintain our close but long-distance connection during the potentially distancing chaos that is a sex conference, I asked my Sir, “Would it make you feel good to choose my outfits for Playground?” He’s previously enjoyed this so I thought he’d like to do it some more, and I was right. I sent him photos of all the dresses I wanted to wear + my tentative schedule for the con, and he chose which dresses I should wear on which days. It was a cute way for me to feel connected to him even as I was hustlin’ and bustlin’ around a busy conference 500 miles from him.

• Hippo Campus is my favorite band, and their merch makes me happy. I own three of their T-shirts now, because I’m a nerd, and they’re all I want to wear on lazy, loungey days. This one, a Christmas gift from my little brother, is my fave: so soft, so snazzy!

• I have a new tattooooo! Probably gonna blog about it eventually, I’d imagine. I went back to Laura Blaney, who did my thigh tattoos; she’s fantastic. It’s colorful and punchy and lovely and I’m excited for it to heal completely so I can show it off!

Little things

Solo theatre dates, front-row centre. Drinking a “Hot Dad Bramble” with my daddy. Slow-dancing to Warm Glow. Compersion. Starburst as aftercare candy. Valentine’s flowers. Getting tied up by a sweet, funny boy who was intermittently singing me showtunes. Wearing my collar to public appearances because Sir said so. Talking to Erin at the Bed Post Podcast about hypnokink, DD/lg, etc. Seeing improv shows with friends. Exciting coffee meetings about new projects. The “Pun Slut” pin my Sir bought me (so perfect). Fancy pens. Sir listening to my radio show and live-texting me his reactions for me to read during the commercial breaks. Getting my hair done and feeling like a queen. Maple cookies. Staying hydrated. Late-night giggly phone sex.

5 Kinks I Hope to Try in 2018

Kate Sloan

It’s long been a tradition here at Girly Juice that I set myself sexual goals at the beginning of each year. Last year was a rare exception: in lieu of concrete goals, I endeavored to scale back on relentless hookups and focus on quality over quantity with regards to my sex life. I think that, for the most part, I accomplished that in 2017.

This year, though, I am feeling reinvigorated to try new things, chase fresh dick, and boldly go where I have never gone before. Here are 5 utterly new-to-me kinks I’m curious about and would like to experiment with this year…

E-stim (electrostimulation) intrigues me because it promises a different sensation from anything else I’ve ever tried. Unlike the brusque pain of a spanking or the deep pleasure of standard genital stimulation, E-stim is described variously as tickly, prickly, warm and tingly. As a sex nerd and unabashed perv, when I see new sensations available on the horizon, I say: sign me up!

I am hopeful that I can get a sex toy company to send me a Neon Wand to try soon, or that I’ll meet a new play partner who has an E-stim setup of their own and would relish subjecting me to it. We shall see!

Hypnokink (also known as erotic hypnosis) is fucking fascinating! I have a new partner who’s super into it and has been teaching me some things – including by trancing me over the phone a couple times – and I instantly want to know everything about it. I love the idea of a dominant partner being able to get inside my brain and dominate me psychologically in an even more direct way than other types of D/s allow for. Obviously you should only attempt this with people you trust and who actually know their shit!

In a couple weeks I’m going to see my hypnotic beau and we’ve negotiated some more intense hypno stuff we’re going to try. I am fiendishly excited!

Fear play is scary and hot, and hot and scary! Many moons ago, I heard Violet Blue read a chapter from an N.T. Morley erotic novel on her podcast Open Source Sex which opened my mind to the carnal appeal of knives, consensual “kidnapping,” and other fear-based sexy stimuli. In the story, a woman is abducted (consensually) and forced to lie face-down on the floor of a boat, masked and shackled, while an anonymous assailant wiggles a knife back and forth on her clit. It doesn’t cut her or hurt her, merely rubs her to orgasm, but the threat of injury is always there, igniting the pleasure with a spark of peril.

Consuming the oeuvres of fear-play aficionados like Ken Melvoin-Berg and Dick Wound this past year (the latter of whom used some knives on me in an introductory, not-especially-scary manner a few weeks ago, whetting my fear appetite further) has acclimatized me to the idea that terror can be sexy – in the right context, and with the right partners. My limited experiences with fear play have proven this to me: a partner nibbling along my jugular but not biting down, for example, or taking me to the edge of my pain limits with a thorough spanking but never quite pushing me into active distress. I’m interested to see if I can evoke even deeper trust, subspace and catharsis with a fear-savvy partner this year!

Bootblacking thrills me, in theory, but I’m unsure if it’s for sexy reasons or simply because I am a fancy femme with a penchant for beautiful, high-quality footwear. (Maybe it’s both. My femme brain and my sex brain have a lot of overlap.)

This is a rare kink where I can equally see myself enjoying being on either side of the interaction. I think I’d like to begin by getting my boots blacked by someone who knows their shit, and then maybe attempt to shine someone else’s boots. There is a taboo sort of intimacy to this kink that makes me feel all tingly inside…

Medical play has come up many times before on this here blog. It haunts my fantasy-brain but I have no idea if I’d actually like it in real life. (That’s true of many kinks, actually…)

I have a lot of feelings about the idea of a hot domly person in a lab coat putting my feet up in stirrups, slipping into some nitrile gloves, lubing up a speculum, and giving me a “routine examination.” These fantasies are often tinged with elements of the treatments doctors supposedly gave Victorian women to help abate their “female hysteria” via “hysterical paroxysm.” Just as the Daddy doms in my little-girl fantasies make me come “for my own good,” so too do the efficient and dexterous doctors in my medical-play fantasies…

What kinks or activities are you hoping to play with in 2018?