knife play

Monthly Faves: Sharp Objects & Cozy Beds

Kate Sloan

This was one of my most sexually active months ever (on record, anyway, i.e. since starting a sex spreadsheet). Here are some of the odd adventures I had in August!

Sex toys

• My Sir brought me some Ananda CBD lube from the Museum of Sex and we tried it out for some fingering and oral stuff. I’m honestly not sure I experienced the purported effects of the cannabinoids, but the peppermint and black pepper extracts certainly kicked my sensitivity up a notch and resulted in some intense orgasms.

• I’ve long had an interest in knife play, and had only tried it with one partner before this month, when my Sir decided they were interested in giving it a shot. We did a cool fear-play scene involving one giant chef’s knife and one less-giant butter knife. Apparently I made noises I’ve never made before…

• While we’re talking about scary sharp things… My ever-adventurous Sir picked up a pair of vampire gloves, which have been on their wishlist for a while, and we tried them out for impact play and general sensory play. They freaked me out a lot and looked very hot!

Fantasy fodder

• So, for whatever reason, I often have to fantasize while receiving oral sex if I’m gonna get off from it, even though I really like it – and one of my most common fantasies along those lines this month was that I’m a spoiled queen/princess/duchess whose royal servants know she must be orally serviced to perfection on a daily basis or she’ll make their lives hell. This is admittedly an odd fantasy for a submissive person to have, but you know, the sex-brain wants what it wants. (When my Sir read this part of this post draft aloud to me, instead of getting mad that I fantasize while having sex with them, like some people would, they just said, “That’s hot.” I love them.)

• Another fave cunnilingus-accompanying fantasy this month was that my partner is an orally gifted sex worker who comes well-recommended by other, similarly discerning women. Honestly, if I was single and ever met a sex worker as babely and skilled as my partner, I would keep them on speed-dial.

• At one point this month we did an experiment where I wrote a blog post while my partner was going down on me in an attempt to distract me. (This was one of Bex‘s many genius ideas – thanks, Bex.) It resulted in a forthcoming post that I think you’ll find interesting…

Sexcetera

• The coolest sex-related event I attended this month was a TES workshop on the intersections between sadomasochism and hypnokink, taught by Mr. Dream and Pinky. There was a good balance of useful information and entertaining demos. I held Matt’s hand for a lot of it; it was nice to learn about intense hypno shit while sitting next to the person with whom I most enjoy doing intense hypno shit.

• My newsletter, Sub Missives, is still going strong. Some fave issues this month included the ones about knife play, romantic tattoos, and chronic pain.

• Are you subscribed to Question Box yet?! The episode guest-starring Merritt K might be my favorite so far. Also, while I’m repping my podcasts, you should know that The Dildorks is on Spotify now!

• Sextistics: I had in-person sex 31 times in August (wow!!) and phone sex 15 times, totaling 46 sex sessions. Truly silly.

Femme stuff

• Matt took me on a jeans-shopping mission and I picked up some mid-rise skinnies from Madewell. I have a weird relationship with jeans – they’ve historically made me feel somewhat shitty in my body and my gender, and yet I keep buying them and trying to like them nonetheless – but these look and feel lovely, so I’m optimistic that they’ll actually get worn on a regular basis.

• I admired on Matt – and then later borrowed from them – a super soft, plain white T-shirt that says, simply, “I’m bisexual.” It might be the ideal item of clothing?

• I got annoyed with my hair and chopped several inches off it. A fantastic thing about having my particular type of curly hair is being able to do this without it ending up looking highly uneven.

Media

• I’ve been slowly working through the mega-sized novel that is Special Topics in Calamity Physics. It’s smart and charming and all-too-frequently relatable to me as a former precocious high-schooler. Marisha Pessl writes some damn beautiful sentences.

• I’ve been extolling the book Because Internet in every medium lately, so might as well do it here, too… It’s a dorkily detailed dissection of internet-era language trends and the factors that influence them. A must-read for anyone who writes or reads online.

• The new June EP from singer/songwriter Jeremy Larson’s project Violents is a cute set of 4 songs about his adopted daughter Nova. (Follow @ElsieLarson and @ViolentsMusic on Instagram right now for daily doses of Nova cuteness, plus her baby sister Marigold. I DIE.) I first fell in love with Jeremy’s music 9 years ago when he released an EP about his wife Elsie; dude sure knows how to write a love-filled bop.

Little things

Working from bed. Going to see the new Tarantino movie with Dan (and solo food-court dates before movies). Late-night outings to Bar Isabel. Writing an assignment about domestic skills I want to learn so I can be a good 1950s housewife. Inheriting some cool stuff from my grandparents (notably: cookware and a golden deck of cards). “Queen Nora is not a scammer!” Coming out as demisexual (thank you, I love you). Finally getting to introduce Matt to some of my favorite men (Eric, Brent, and Dick!). Crafting a column about incels for Herizons. Going out to celebrate my book deal (of which more soon). Taking lewds in fancy restaurant bathrooms. My Twitter followers sharing their romantic memories with me. Sir teaching me how to make a Southside cocktail. Working out of the Lickability office for a day (and joining the staff for game night!). My jobs, and how flexible and nomadic they allow me to be. Still being loved even if I have a panic attack in a taxi and throw up in a fancy restaurant (YIKES). Matt impromptu-ly and romantically offering to extend my New York trip. Watching the sun rise through the big windows in Newark airport. Getting back to Toronto after time away.

5 Kinks I Hope to Try in 2018

Kate Sloan

It’s long been a tradition here at Girly Juice that I set myself sexual goals at the beginning of each year. Last year was a rare exception: in lieu of concrete goals, I endeavored to scale back on relentless hookups and focus on quality over quantity with regards to my sex life. I think that, for the most part, I accomplished that in 2017.

This year, though, I am feeling reinvigorated to try new things, chase fresh dick, and boldly go where I have never gone before. Here are 5 utterly new-to-me kinks I’m curious about and would like to experiment with this year…

E-stim (electrostimulation) intrigues me because it promises a different sensation from anything else I’ve ever tried. Unlike the brusque pain of a spanking or the deep pleasure of standard genital stimulation, E-stim is described variously as tickly, prickly, warm and tingly. As a sex nerd and unabashed perv, when I see new sensations available on the horizon, I say: sign me up!

I am hopeful that I can get a sex toy company to send me a Neon Wand to try soon, or that I’ll meet a new play partner who has an E-stim setup of their own and would relish subjecting me to it. We shall see!

Hypnokink (also known as erotic hypnosis) is fucking fascinating! I have a new partner who’s super into it and has been teaching me some things – including by trancing me over the phone a couple times – and I instantly want to know everything about it. I love the idea of a dominant partner being able to get inside my brain and dominate me psychologically in an even more direct way than other types of D/s allow for. Obviously you should only attempt this with people you trust and who actually know their shit!

In a couple weeks I’m going to see my hypnotic beau and we’ve negotiated some more intense hypno stuff we’re going to try. I am fiendishly excited!

Fear play is scary and hot, and hot and scary! Many moons ago, I heard Violet Blue read a chapter from an N.T. Morley erotic novel on her podcast Open Source Sex which opened my mind to the carnal appeal of knives, consensual “kidnapping,” and other fear-based sexy stimuli. In the story, a woman is abducted (consensually) and forced to lie face-down on the floor of a boat, masked and shackled, while an anonymous assailant wiggles a knife back and forth on her clit. It doesn’t cut her or hurt her, merely rubs her to orgasm, but the threat of injury is always there, igniting the pleasure with a spark of peril.

Consuming the oeuvres of fear-play aficionados like Ken Melvoin-Berg and Dick Wound this past year (the latter of whom used some knives on me in an introductory, not-especially-scary manner a few weeks ago, whetting my fear appetite further) has acclimatized me to the idea that terror can be sexy – in the right context, and with the right partners. My limited experiences with fear play have proven this to me: a partner nibbling along my jugular but not biting down, for example, or taking me to the edge of my pain limits with a thorough spanking but never quite pushing me into active distress. I’m interested to see if I can evoke even deeper trust, subspace and catharsis with a fear-savvy partner this year!

Bootblacking thrills me, in theory, but I’m unsure if it’s for sexy reasons or simply because I am a fancy femme with a penchant for beautiful, high-quality footwear. (Maybe it’s both. My femme brain and my sex brain have a lot of overlap.)

This is a rare kink where I can equally see myself enjoying being on either side of the interaction. I think I’d like to begin by getting my boots blacked by someone who knows their shit, and then maybe attempt to shine someone else’s boots. There is a taboo sort of intimacy to this kink that makes me feel all tingly inside…

Medical play has come up many times before on this here blog. It haunts my fantasy-brain but I have no idea if I’d actually like it in real life. (That’s true of many kinks, actually…)

I have a lot of feelings about the idea of a hot domly person in a lab coat putting my feet up in stirrups, slipping into some nitrile gloves, lubing up a speculum, and giving me a “routine examination.” These fantasies are often tinged with elements of the treatments doctors supposedly gave Victorian women to help abate their “female hysteria” via “hysterical paroxysm.” Just as the Daddy doms in my little-girl fantasies make me come “for my own good,” so too do the efficient and dexterous doctors in my medical-play fantasies…

What kinks or activities are you hoping to play with in 2018?