Hello! This month I’m going to stray from my usual Monthly Faves format, because – honestly, y’all? – sex toys and sexual fantasies have not exactly topped my list of priorities since the whole COVID thing started. (I’m sure many of you can relate.) So without further ado, here are some of the things that got me through April…
Media
• I randomly remembered that the movie Oceans 8 existed and that I’d wanted to see it since it came out, so my partner and I watched it together. If you don’t know, it’s a heist movie starring a shocking number of powerful and beautiful Hollywood women: Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, et al. Also Rihanna plays a brilliant stoner/hacker. Basically it’s a must-watch, especially if (like me) you love movies about con artists, thieves, and scammers.
• Queer Canadian comedian Mae Martin (whew, try saying that 5 times fast!) created and starred in a new Netflix series called Feel Good, which is both very funny and very devastating. It’s about queerness, drug addiction, love addiction, coming out of the closet (or not), figuring out your gender (or not), and repairing broken relationships (or not). I adored it, though if you struggle with addiction, it might be a tough watch for you.
• Reading pandemic-related fiction is a bit of an emotional gamble these days, to say the least, but I gave it a shot anyway and really enjoyed Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. It’s set in a post-apocalyptic world where survivors are trying to pick up the pieces after a swine flu mutation suddenly kills 99.99% of the earth’s population and society as we know it completely crumbles. While that sounds pretty horrific – and at times, it is – the ending, and the conclusions to be drawn from the story, are (I think) ultimately hopeful and encouraging. Along similar lines, Severance by Ling Ma is also about a civilization-destroying pandemic, but deals more with the racism, classism, and capitalist bullshit that can be exacerbated by disasters like this.
• I celebrated my 28th birthday this month, and it was one of the strangest birthdays I’ve ever had, for obvious reasons! However, I put together a little Zoom party with a bunch of friends and we played Use Your Words, my friend Brent’s party game “for funny people and their unfunny friends.” I’ve been playing it for years and it still always makes me laugh!
• One of my fave local comedy troupes, the Sketchersons, have been continuing their weekly sketch show Sunday Night Live from the comfort of their own individual homes. They’re performing topical humor LIVE every week over Zoom (or some Zoom-like service). It is one of the most innovative and creative things I’ve seen during all of this, and I would highly recommend you tune in sometime!
• Another fave livestreamed event of mine this month was Broadway.com’s tribute to Stephen Sondheim for his 90th birthday. It got off to a rocky start due to technical problems – I still feel so bad for host Raúl Esparza that we didn’t get to see as much of him as planned – but the musical performances were top-notch. Someone please cast Beanie Feldstein as the Baker’s Wife in a new production of Into the Woods ASAP when this is all over!
Products
• Fed up with my constantly overcrowded nightstand, I ordered a felt storage pocket that attaches to the side of your bed, and have been stashing all my various devices and must-haves in there (Kindle, Switch, 3DS, notebook and pen, earbuds). It has weirdly made me feel much more sane and calm in these trying times. Hey, whatever works!
• I also bought a pink organizer for all my sex toy charging cables. They formerly were just shoved into a small drawer willy-nilly, which obviously wasn’t working, so it was nice to finally get to organize them. Ahh, I love orderliness!
• I am still living in my MeUndies lounge pants. My partner and I each ordered a new pair this month – a quarantine-appropriate splurge, if you will – and they are a godsend. Comfy! Cute! Pockets!
• In the past month I have bought reusable fabric face masks from four different shops: Pacha Indigenous Art Collection, Peace Collective, FickleFaerie and DinkyBums. Really appreciating all these independent creators making beautiful masks, and often also donating masks or money to frontline workers as part of their operations. (Side note: I’m definitely also lusting after a sequinned mask like Rachel Syme has.)
• My partner and I have been beefing up my home bar situation since they arrived here last month, because good-quality cocktails sure make staying at home more bearable. Some of my favorite acquisitions: pre-batched tiki cocktails from the Shameful Tiki Room, olive brine from the Cocktail Emporium (I love me a dirty martini), ornate martini glasses my mom gave me for my birthday, and an assortment of weird liquors and liqueurs from Civil Liberties.
Work & Appearances
• PinkCherry asked me to write a piece about sexual empowerment for them, so I wrote this essay about breaking the habit of apologizing during sex. This problem is so real!
• Wanna hear me wax poetic about kink, power, and systemic oppression? Good thing I discussed those very topics with Leela Sinha on zir podcast Power Pivot this month!
• We’ve been doing lots of great stuff on my podcasts The Dildorks and Question Box lately, but I particularly want to draw your attention to our recent 4/20 episodes. In both of them, we got super high and answered strange questions. They’re a hoot!
• In my newsletter this month, I wrote about libido in the time of coronavirus, merciful silence toward the men in my DMs, what Animal Crossing taught me about my gender presentation, and why you should wear your nicest underwear now.
Good Causes
• The Glad Day Emergency Survival Fund is putting money into the pockets of LGBTQ+ artists, performers, and tip-based workers, as well as keeping the Glad Day Bookshop (an institution in Toronto’s queer scene) from going under.
• Here’s a mutual aid fund for “trans and queer Black and Indigenous people and other trans and queer people of color, ESPECIALLY those who are sex workers, undocumented, disabled, and/or incarcerated.” These groups are especially struggling right now.
• Tuck Woodstock, who hosts the incredible Gender Reveal podcast, is raising money for trans and non-binary people who need it in this unprecedented time.
• If you’ve been reading a lot lately, like me, I would strongly recommend shopping for new books through Bookshop.org. Purchases help financially support local, independent bookstores, which could really use the boost, especially right now.
• From what I’ve been reading, a lot of food banks need money more than they need food donations right now, for various reasons. If you’re able, Google around for your local food bank and send them some cash so the folks who rely on them can keep food on the table. I gave some to FoodShare this month, in memory of my grandmother Jean, who believed in feeding someone as a way of taking care of them. 💙
What’s been getting you through these difficult times? Let me know in the comments!