sexxit

Sharing the Sexy #4

Kate Sloan

• Some dudes on Sexxit discuss autofellatio. Interesting to see a straight male perspective on this. (Have you seen the autofellatio scene in Shortbus?!)

• Rachel Rabbit White attended a lesbian cougar meetup. I love the way Rabbit writes. “Judith’s eyes glitter and wrinkle at the corners. She looks like someone you might find yourself in an orgy with at an acid-fueled pre-Burning Man loft party.”

• Also by Rachel: a feature on agender people. (For more discussion and resources related to genderqueer or agender identities, Genderfork is terrific.)

• Evil Slutopia comments on Snooki’s baby and some anti-choice hypocrisy among conservative critics of Snooki.

• K wrote sensitively and thoughtfully about her break-up with her long-term poly boyfriend.

• Shit twinks say during sex: “Your dick is so fierce!”

• Someone discovered a creative way to use a Fleshlight. (By the way, the generous people at Sex Toys Canada sent me a Fleshlight which I’ll be reviewing on behalf of my boyfriend soon… Stay tuned!)

• Here’s a massive resource on intactivism. Important stuff to know, given the AAP’s recent statement about circumcision.

• Looks like a bill banning “ex-gay” therapy might get passed in California. Gasp! Are people finally realizing that changing sexual orientation isn’t possible and leads to horrific results?!

• Female Sexxitors weigh in: what’s the best thing about having a vagina?

Sharing the Sexy #1

Kate Sloan

I’m going to start doing a round-up of links to articles, threads, photos, etc. that are relevant to the interests of this blog. It will be sporadic and periodic, but hopefully you’ll still enjoy it! Here’s what I’m diggin’ on this week:

• This guy on Sexxit was all in a tizzy because his potential girlfriend masturbates every other day (GASP! The horror!). We set him straight.

• Also on Sexxit: would you date a pre-op trans* person of your preferred gender? The answers are largely offensive and ignorant (as you can generally expect when a mostly cis group has a discussion about trans issues), but there are a few good ones. I liked Afro_Samurai’s comment: “Really not certain how I would feel in terms of physical attractiveness. I’m certain I would be paranoid about saying something insensitive, screwing up with gendered language or something.”

• Misty writes about trans-friendly and genderqueer-friendly parenting. “What your (our!) job is, as a parent, is to give him the strength and confidence to be himself and to face those who will question him and give him crap because he doesn’t conform to their ideas of who he should be. Giving him yourself as support and the tools of confidence is what will ‘protect’ him in the long run.”

• Rosie describes her experience at a Body Pride workshop. I was at the same workshop, and will be putting up my article about it just as soon as I get my hands on the naked photos that were taken of me there!

• The SexIs Social writing contest applicants are being put to a vote. I would really appreciate if you could vote for one of my articles, whichever one you like best – I wrote Menstrual Sex: It’s Not Just For Vampires, The 5 Hallmarks of Feminist Porn, and Why You Should Buy Your Mom a Sex Toy. Thanks, lovelies!

• My new article came out on Sex Toys Canada: How to Improve Your Genital Flavour. It’s a rundown on dietary adjustments and tasty products you can use to sweeten yourself up, if you’re into that. I also wrote an article about the anterior fornix (or A-spot) for SexIs.

• This period-tracking app looks perfect! (I use MonthlyInfo.com – do you use a period tracker?)

• I showed my boyfriend this foreskin-fingering technique and asked him if he’d ever tried it. He has a very very sensitive penis, so this was his answer: “AAAAAH WAAAAAT NOOOOO!”

Have a good weekend, y’all! I’ll see you Monday for more chattin’ about porn, sex toys, and all that other good stuff.

Useful Resources for Sexy, Sex-Positive Sexpots

Kate Sloan

I’m tempted to begin this post with an affectionate greeting I use with my friends: “Hey, queerz!” However, I recognize that many of you don’t identify as queer, so I won’t do that. (Can we come up with a noun that encompasses “sex-positive people” without offending or excluding anyone who falls into that group? Let me know, in the comments, if you think of anything.)

This blog is still new, so I’m still bouncing around ideas. A lot of blogs do a weekly “link round-up” that points to articles, websites, communities and projects that may be of interest. I’m not sure yet if I’m going to commit to doing something like that, but for now, here’s a list of some of my favorite sex-poz places on the internet. Hope you enjoy! (I know you will.)

Sexxit is a subdivision of the overwhelmingly male-dominated, often misogynist social discussion website Reddit. I’ve rage-quit Reddit a couple of times because of stupid shit like people who deny that there’s a rape culture and people who tell women to go make sandwiches, but I find that if I limit myself to only posting in and reading the Sex community, I don’t get as frustrated. The people there know what they’re talking about (for the most part) and can have actual, in-depth discussions about things like setting kink boundaries and making up for mismatched libidos.

To Be a Slut is a blog about reclaiming female sexuality, being okay with your body, and deconstructing shitty sexual cultural narratives. Its owner, Caitlin, runs Body Pride workshops and is a member of a collective called I’d Tap That which throws mixers for sex-poz people. Don’t you wish you lived where I live?!

If you are interested in consensual nonmonogamy, there are two blogs I can’t recommend highly enough: Taken But Available (run by a Canadian woman in a long-term open relationship) and We Sleep Together (sparsely updated these days, but written by a very clever fellow in an open marriage). When I was cobbling together ideas about what my own ideal relationship structure would look like, I checked in with these folks to learn about issues like jealousy, “new relationship energy,” and the power of dating websites.

Hey Epiphora is simply the best sex toy reviews blog I’ve come across. I also read Dangerous Lilly, Navigator, True Pleasures, and DIY Orgasms. And if you want a great place to find reviews on toys easily, written by people who know how to write, Sex Toy Society is pretty rad. They do a weekly round-up that will keep you on top of what’s going on in the reviewing world.

I love to listen to podcasts, especially when I’m walking to and from my volunteering gig or I’m working on a creative project of some sort. My favorite sex-related ones are Sex is Fun and the Savage Lovecast. Both are consistently entertaining and informative, even for someone like me who’s been obsessively researching sexuality online for years and years.

So, that’s what I’m consuming and participating in lately, as far as sex-poz materials go. Readers: What are your favorite sex-related online resources?