I had quite a dramatic and exhausting month, but a lot of wonderful stuff happened too! Here are some of my fave things from May.
Media
• Easily the best thing I watched this month was Bo Burnham’s new Netflix special Inside, which he wrote, performed, shot, and edited himself in his apartment over more than a year during the pandemic. It’s a biting and often hilarious meditation on pandemic life, the internet, depression, anxiety, and the complicated relationship performers have with their audiences. Bo has always been a delightful songwriter but this special contains the best, snappiest, darkest, and most sophisticated songwriting he’s done his whole career. Just watch it!
• Lately I can’t stop looping queer nonbinary singer/songwriter Ben Hopkins’ album I Held My Breath For a Really Long Time Once. Thematically it’s actually very similar to the Bo Burnham special: it’s about depression, loneliness, compulsive behavior (incl. alcoholism), and desiring attention while simultaneously being terrified of it. The magic trick of this album is that all these sad themes are explored through mostly upbeat, danceable, and sing-along-able guitar-forward music. Some of the lyrics about depression and anxiety are just too damn relatable for me, like these gems: “I don’t know how a normal person relaxes/ How to brush my teeth or how to pay my taxes.” “I don’t know how to pay for therapy/ I imagine if I did, I’d have some clarity.” “What’s the point of tidying when everything’s a mess?”
• Matt and I watched the documentary California Typewriter and I found it so affecting and inspiring that I had to snap up a vintage typewriter of my own almost immediately! This film features a whole bunch of famous people who use and love typewriters, but it was John Mayer’s endorsement of them that caught my attention most: he talked about the ways in which the typewriter’s analog nature can unlock hidden modes of creativity, and I have indeed found that to be true so far.
• I’ve played Pokémon games since I was about 8 years old and definitely know more than the average gamer about Pokémon, but watching Twitch gamer SmallAnt’s streams has taught me so much about strategy nonetheless. The video wherein he beats a whole game without dealing any direct damage is incredibly impressive and made for a great late-night intoxicated watch!
• If you enjoy casual sex, or would like to, Allison Moon’s new-ish book Getting It is a must-read. It’s an informative, compassionate, and non-judgmental guide to all things hookup-related.
Products
• I’m gonna write about this in detail soon, but I’m loving all the things I’ve bought recently to upgrade my desk setup (a monitor, monitor riser, new SAD lamp, keyboard, mouse, and set of wooden drawers). It is really astonishing how much a “tiny life-improvement project” can brighten your outlook.
• I also upgraded the top of my dresser where I keep all my makeup, skincare products, perfumes, and hair accessories. I bought a rotating storage rack for skincare and makeup brushes, some stackable acrylic drawers and organizers for my makeup and false lashes, and an LED-lit makeup mirror so I no longer have to squint at myself in the half-darkness while putting my face on. Hooray, femme organization!
• I’m going hard on scalp care lately and really loving the Aromatica rosemary scalp scrub and La’dor tea tree scalp clinic hair pack. Seems like a lot of folks have been having scalp issues during the pandemic, possibly due to some combination of stress and less frequent showers (hey, no judgment); maybe these products would help you too!
Work & Appearances
• I recently announced the book I’ve been writing for the past couple months: a petite and informative tome for Laurence King Publishing called 200 Words to Help You Talk About Gender & Sexuality. Exciting! (You can still preorder my first book, 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do – its launch date is a little over 4 months away now!)
• The lovely musical theatre nerds from the Dear Friends podcast invited my friend Brent and I to come answer some advice questions about sex, drugs, and BDSM with them. It was a fun time!
• I was interviewed for Uses This about my work setup. Check it out if you’re curious what hardware and software I use for all my various projects, including this blog!
• In my newsletter this month, I wrote about cuckolding porn, the definition of gender, why typewriters are sexy, and why simultaneous orgasms are overrated.
• For the Andrew Blake blog, I wrote about the usefulness of sex books, vibrators for people with penises, and how to connect with your partner sexually at the end of a long, tiring day.
• On the Dildorks this month, we discussed masochism, public sex, and our current feelings on casual sex.
• On Question Box this month, we chatted with sex educator Dr. Timaree Schmit and burlesque emcee Adam Teterus, actor and storyteller Grace Aki, voice actor Katy Johnson and personal trainer Jordan “Jaxblade” Downs, and kink podcast cohosts Lexi and Gwen. Wow, that’s a lot of awesome people!
Good Causes
• In light of the horrendous news about previously unreported deaths of Indigenous students at Canadian residential schools, please consider donating to the Indian Residential School Survivors Society. The cultural genocide perpetrated against Indigenous people by the Canadian government is unacceptable and it’s time for a reckoning (and, ideally, reparations).
• The M’akola Housing Society helps provide affordable housing to Indigenous people in British Columbia.
• The Black Sex Worker Collective provides education, legal help, and healthcare + housing referrals to Black sex workers. They’re also running a conference soon that looks super interesting.