Whoa, I haven’t done one of these in a while! Happy new year, babes. Here’s what was thrillin’ me, sexually and otherwise, in January…
Sex toys
• SheVibe sent me the Uberrime Jellyfish (full review forthcoming) and I’m really enjoying the squishiness of the silicone, the thrillingly exaggerated head, and the lovely texture along the shaft. Between this dildo, the Uberrime Night King, and the VixSkin Bandit, I’m suddenly more into silicone toys than I’ve been in years…
• For our anniversary, my boyfriend gave me possibly the most beautiful impact toy I’ve ever owned: a bespoke mallet from Weal & Breech. It is stunning, and is also so remarkably thuddy that getting hit with it feels like getting a deep tissue massage on my ass. Ideal. (Full disclosure: I’m doing some copywriting for Weal & Breech at the moment. That doesn’t affect my fondness for their company, which long predates this current project, but I thought you should know, nonetheless!)
• Not technically a toy so much as a sex product, but: I acquired a bottle of Slippery Stuff’s silicone lube and I’m surprised by how much I love it. Normally silicone lubes aren’t my fave, but this one is thick and gel-like, making it a great choice for a wide variety of applications. Yay!
Fantasy fodder
• I’ve thought for a while that I might have a premature ejaculation kink. All those late-night porn searches for “surprise orgasm” and “he comes too quick” were hard to ignore after a while… Something really turns me on about the idea of a dude struggling not to come because the person he’s fucking is just too hot and whatever thing they’re doing to him just feels too good. My partner is remarkably good at pinging this kink, often telling me during phone sex that he’s close to coming but will hold back for me, and variations thereof. What a prince. (P.S. Did you know there’s a “premature cumshots” subreddit? You’re welcome.)
• Recently my Sir and I were showing each other old selfies from high school (would recommend; seeing your partner in an earlier, dorkier chapter of their life can be incredibly endearing) and he mentioned he would’ve wanted to date me if we knew each other back then. I don’t know if that really would have worked out – I was pretty gay in high school, and he claims to have been pretty obnoxious – but it’s fun to fantasize about and do roleplays of!
Sexcetera
• A New Year’s sex tale: I have a long-standing tradition of wearing red underwear on New Year’s Day, because I read somewhere, long ago, that this practice is supposed to bring you good luck in love and sex for the coming year. (I don’t know if I strictly believe this, but I’m a bit superstitious and “woo” and also I like tradition. Fight me.) I was in New York over New Year’s and forgot to pack red underwear, however, so my boyfriend – a gem, a saint – accompanied me to H&M to pick some out. Once we had what we were after, he asked me, “What do you wanna do now?” and I sheepishly replied, “I know I ‘should’ want to do touristy things or whatever, but I really just wanna go back to our hotel and make out with you in our bed. Sorry if that’s boring.” He said, “That’s what I want too, but I didn’t want you to think I was boring either.” Man, I love dating fellow earth signs…
• Wax play is a new fave activity for me and my partner. We both weren’t really expecting to like it that much but we really do. We’ve done two wax scenes now; both times, he strapped me down with my under-the-bed restraints, put on relaxing music, and slowly and methodically dripped hot red wax all over my body. It puts me into a different type of masochistic subspace than I’ve experienced before with anything else; probably the closest thing I can compare it to is E-stim. Gosh, I love trying new pervy shit with people I trust.
• Sextistics: this month my partner and I had in-person sex 11 times and phone sex 25 times. So… 36 sexual encounters in 31 days. Absurd, as per usual.
Femme stuff
• So I’m not really sure where to put this and this section seems as good a place as any: my partner and I did a feminization scene this month! He sat patiently while I did his makeup, and I chose an outfit for him from my wardrobe (I found it inordinately hilarious to put my daddy dom in my super-femme “daddy” tank top). Then we went out to our fave local cocktail bar and had a few drinks. It was fascinating to observe how his body language, mannerisms, and even voice changed when attired femininely! Then we went back home and I gave him a dommy handjob and we fell asleep both still wearing our eyeliner. Aww.
• Sir got me a pink Hippo Campus hoodie and it’s sooo cozy and cute. I own more Hippo Campus merch than… anyone I’ve ever heard of. Girl, stahhhhp.
Media
• My BF and I watched the entirety of Netflix’s new show You this month and we loved it. Penn Badgley is brilliant as a creepy-yet-deceptively-charming stalker, the storytelling is well-paced and compelling, and uhhh can we talk about how Peach Salinger is obviously a femme daddy? (Spoilers at that link.) I’ve started reading the book it was adapted from, and it’s great, too!
• This month I devoured the new short story collection from Kristen Roupenian (of “Cat Person” fame), You Know You Want This. As its title would indicate, one of its major themes is consent; Roupenian seems especially interested in areas where consent is ambiguous or questionable, an important topic to delve into in this #MeToo era. I’m still haunted by a lot of these stories; the weird situations and quirky characters therein keep bouncing around in my brain.
Little things
Awesome clients who know what they want. Returning to the scene of our second date. My mom somehow getting our theatre seats upgraded from row S to row E just by being charming and persistent. Carly‘s suicide intervention workshop (life-changing, honestly). Introvert-friendly spaces. Getting dolled up as a form of self-care. Making new friends at Comedy Bar. Weird conversations about consent ethics in the sex club swimming pool. Trekking through snow and ice with my beloved. Eccentric Uber drivers (“Just so you guys know, this car is only 3 months old!”). Nerding out with sex toy makers. Rooftop restaurants and raspberry brambles. The best pancakes in Toronto.