Review: Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon

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Last month, I went to 7 West with some friends for lunch. After our meal, we decided to get some dessert, and I ordered the restaurant’s legendarily good dulce de leche cheesecake.

Admittedly, I was a bit drunk at this point, and had also been watching a lot of X Files, so I was in a slightly dramatic and science-fiction-y mood. So upon tucking into the cheesecake, I went on a rant something like this:

“This cheesecake is TOO GOOD. I feel like I am doing something illegal by eating it. Like it’s too delicious and wasn’t meant to be discovered by humans. Like it was found on an alien planet and brought back to earth and kept in quarantine by the FBI because it could actually be dangerous for human ingestion. But somehow I broke in and found it and now I’m eating it and I’m going to get in trouble on a national scale. And will possibly get an extraterrestrial illness for my gluttony, thereby starting a worldwide pandemic.”

Fortunately, my friends just find my drunken loquaciousness charming instead of weird…

I told you this story because I feel the same way about really good A-spot stimulation as I feel about that cheesecake. It feels inhumanly good, too good for this world – like I’ve hacked into the pleasure mainframe and am accessing something not meant for me. And that’s pretty fucking cool.

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The G-Spoon is a glass dildo made by artisanal sex toy company Fucking Sculptures, and despite the “G” in its name, for me it’s really more about the “A” – A-spot, that is. Or “anterior fornix,” if you wanna get fancy about it.

I first lusted after the G-Spoon when I read Aerie’s review of it. One thing Aerie and I have in common, which we discussed a bit at DildoHoliday, is our shared love of A-spot stimulation. In their review, Aerie describes the G-Spoon’s A-spotting abilities as “perfect,” “mind-blowing,” and “incredibly pleasurable.” They noted that the toy is long enough to hit the spot and has the right curve and angle to hit it without making cervical contact (which hurts and is best avoided). I was intrigued. If the G-Spoon worked for Aerie’s A-spot, I suspected it would work for mine.

And, holy fuck. Thank you, Aerie. Because this dildo is an A-spotting machine, the likes of which I’ve never encountered before.

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But before I get to that… let’s talk specs. All Fucking Sculptures toys are handmade and one-of-a-kind, so there are variations in terms of shape, size, surface appearance, etc. Mine is technically a “large” one, but it’s on the smaller end: large G-Spoons can range from 4.7″ to 5.9″ in circumference and 7.5″ to 9.8″ in length, and mine is 4.8″ around and 7.5″ long. Really large G-Spoons can apparently get pretty heavy (soda lime glass is dense!), so if that bothers you, you might want to stick with the medium size. Mine is basically on the cusp between medium and large.

The width of my G-Spoon is ideal for sliding past my cervix and gettin’ all up in my A-spot, but I do sometimes wish it was a bit longer. At maximum arousal, my vag is about 6″ to 6.5″ deep, meaning that I have to insert my G-Spoon almost all the way inside in order to reach my spot. This leaves only an inch or two of handle with which to manipulate the toy – and while I can certainly manage it, I can see that it would get annoying if my sessions went on for longer or if I got too much lube on the handle portion of the toy.

IMG_8561The deep grooves along the top side of the G-Spoon provide a little welcome friction during use, but they also collect vaginal fluids and cling onto ’em, necessitating a good toothbrush scrubdown with every wash. I like that these grooves end before the head of the toy, because that smoothness feels divine on my A-spot; I’m not sure I would respond as well to rough scraping in that area.

My G-Spoon is white with silvery-grey patches. I think it’s beautiful and eccentric-looking, but two different people (a friend and a hookup) both asked me, “Did you use this so much that the paint scraped off?!” While the premise of this question is hilarious, no, Fucking Sculptures toys are definitely not so shoddily-made that you can flake off the colors with heavy use! Like any good-quality glass toy, the pigment is inside the toy so it’ll stay put no matter how much you use it.

Also like any good-quality glass toy, my G-Spoon is pretty resistant to breakage. Soda lime glass is more temperature-sensitive than borosilicate glass, so you’re not supposed to boil or freeze Fucking Sculptures because they might crack if you do – but in regular, everyday use, the G-Spoon is fabulously sturdy. I even dropped it on my Eleven by accident and both toys were unharmed. (Don’t try this at home, kids…)

IMG_8560So, let’s get to the good stuff: sensation. Because this dildo feels like a freight train is hitting my A-spot, in a good-and-not-literal way. The thing about perfectly-executed A-spot stimulation is that it leaves me breathless and sated like nothing else – and I’m usually limited to experiencing this type of orgasm with partners, because so few of my toys can stroke my A-spot as consistently and directly as I like. Average-sized penises and long fingers can reach it with ease, but most toys? Not so much. The G-Spoon, however, is like an A-spot whisperer: it goes right for it, with minimal effort, and ravages that spot like it’s meant to be ravaged.

This results in the kinds of orgasms I usually only get from the efforts of skilled and patient partners. Sometimes I actually writhe around and make involuntary noises while using the G-Spoon, which normally doesn’t happen for me when I’m having solo sex. I think it’s an A-spot thing. It makes me lose control of my body a little bit. Hnnngggg.

I have also tried the G-Spoon on my actual G-spot, as it’s intended to be used. That just entails thrusting it a little more shallowly and maybe applying a little more pressure, since my G can handle roughness that my A cannot. This dildo is definitely up to the task if you need some focused, firm G-spot stimulation. I have other toys I like better for that purpose, but I don’t think anyone would be disappointed by the G-Spoon’s abilities in this department. It’s a multitalented little dude!

I know I’ve been writing a lot of positive reviews lately. I hope you aren’t starting to lose faith in me as a reviewer because of that. I promise I’m not sugar-coating any of this – I am just genuinely lucky enough to own some incredibly well-designed toys, especially in recent months. And the G-Spoon is easily one of my favorites I’ve received in ages. It’s jaw-droppingly gorgeous and cunt-meltingly effective. It makes me feel like a pampered queen, because it’s so luxurious and brings such effortless pleasure. Sometimes my mind wanders to my G-Spoon and I just think, “Why isn’t that inside me right now?!”

If you want to explore your A-spot and/or your G-spot, and you’ve got the budget to splurge on something stunning, you probably need a G-Spoon. Any sense of “Holy fuck!” you feel when looking at the price tag will be replaced by the “Holy fuck!” you’ll experience when you put this toy in your vagina.

Thank you so much to the terrific people at Fucking Sculptures for sending me this toy! You can buy their products at their website, at SheVibe, or at various smaller shops.

I Made My Own Glass Dildo Because Life is a Magical Adventure

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When the #DildoHoliday schedule arrived in my inbox, I opened it up and speed-read it as though it contained the meaning of life.

My eyes swept over the various planned workshops, roundtable discussions, and group meals, until they landed on these intriguing words: “Super secret surprise event. Trust us – you’re gonna love it!”

What the fuck could that mean?

The only piece of information we were given about this “secret surprise” was that we’d need to wear closed-toe shoes. I was utterly baffled. At one point I even Googled “activities that require closed-toe shoes,” because the curiosity was gnawing at me. The search results were unhelpful.

When we arrived at the beach house where #DildoHoliday took place, and the scheduled time of the Super Secret Surprise Event was creeping up, Piph and Bex told us to wear pants instead of flowy skirts. I asked if I should bring a jacket and they told me to skip it, because the temperature of our destination would be hot. It was a bit chilly outside, so once again, I was mystified. But I put on the clothes I’d been instructed to wear, and piled into Kate’s car with the others.

Piph told Kate where to drive, and the anticipation in the car was palpable. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been faced with a surprise that was actually a surprise; usually I figure these things out well before they happen. But in this case, I truly had no clue what we were in for. Kate asked Piph if we were going on a boat ride, which was also the only idea that had occurred to me, and Piph just laughed and said no.

And then we pulled up outside Jennifer Sears Glass Art Studio, and we started shrieking. Because it suddenly became obvious. We were going to MAKE OUR OWN GLASS DILDOS.

Needless to say, this was a much better surprise than a boat ride.

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There were three glassworkers there to help us make the glass dildos of our dreams: Kelly, Kyla and Otto. (Is “glassworker” the correct term? I’m kind of more inclined to call them “glass wizards.”) This glass studio doesn’t normally make sexual paraphernalia – glass floats, bowls, and hearts are their usual wares – but they’d agreed to set aside some time outside of business hours for us.

I was assigned to Otto, and at first I was nervous because I thought I’d feel uncomfortable describing my ideal dildo shape and size to a man, especially one I’d just met. But Otto was a total sweetheart and helped me through the whole process without making me feel one iota of discomfort.

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Otto explained each step of the process as we went along. First I gathered up some molten hot, liquid glass on the end of a metal rod. I wore gloves, of course, so the hot pole (!) wouldn’t burn my hands.

Then, while continually rotating the rod to prevent dripping, I dipped the squishy ball of orange-hot glass into a couple piles of a powdery substance that would give the dildo its color. After much deliberation, I’d chosen two of my favorite shades: a deep royal blue and a gorgeous turquoisey-green. Otto did some masterful glass manipulation to get the colors to swirl together in my dildo.

After we’d applied the colors, we put an additional layer of clear glass on top – that way, the paint would be inside the dildo, instead of on the surface where it could potentially flake off during use.

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Then came the really fun part: creating the shape of the toy. I had shown Otto some reference images of the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble on my phone, because I wanted my dildo to have a similar S-shaped curve. He understood what I meant immediately, and I watched in amazement while he went to work on the melty blob of glass.

The glassmakers shaped our toys by spinning them against a thick square of folded wet newspaper. You’d think that the glass would just burn through the paper, since it’s incredibly hot at this point – but instead, the glass heats up the water in the wet paper, creating steam, which keeps the newspaper from burning while also protecting the glassmakers’ hands from the heat of the glass.

I asked Otto why he wasn’t wearing gloves like I was – it seemed dangerous! – and he told me he never wears them because they just get in his way. What a badass! I also asked him if he’s got super buff forearm muscles from spinning glass on rods all day every day (my arms got a bit sore just from the small amount of glass-spinning I did) and he told me he’s actually gotten muscle injuries from the strenuous work before. I believe it!

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The dildo began to take shape. Otto would manipulate it with the wet newspaper and some metal tongs until it started to cool down, and then we’d stick it back into the burning-hot “glory hole” again until it heated up enough to be bent and formed some more.

After he initially made the S shape, he asked me what I thought, and I said, “Can you give it a little more curve?” He kept increasing the angle until it looked about right to me.

We could’ve slimmed it down, but I decided to keep it huge. I thought it’d be better to have a dildo I could “grow into” than one that might feel disappointingly small to me someday. I knew I was pushing the limits of vaginal superpowers when Piph eyed my dildo and commented on how big it is – after all, her vagina is a black hole, so she can judge a super-sized dildo better than most – but I told her, “I think I can handle it.”

Later, one of the other glassmakers walked by and saw my dildo. “That’s so big!” she said, and Otto replied, “She says she can handle it!”

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When the dildo looked how I wanted it, it was time to separate it from the chunk of glass that kept it attached to the metal pipe. Otto gave me some tongs and I squeezed as hard as my scrawny arms would allow, while he turned the pole.

When I’d thinned off the end as much as I could, the glassmakers did some kind of blowtorch magic and my dildo popped right off the pipe into their waiting hands. They smoothed out the end with the blowtorch and then put all of our toys in a special machine that cools glass very gradually over many hours, so it doesn’t crack from the rapid change in temperature.

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After waiting what felt like forever (but was actually less than 24 hours!), we went back to the glass studio to pick up our finished treasures. We took them home and passed them out like it was Christmas morning. I’ve never seen so much dildo-related smiling in my life!

It wasn’t long before I ran off to my room with my dildo and gave it a go. It is HUMONGOUS – the diameter of each end is 2 1/4″! – but with lots of warm-up and lube, I managed to get the slightly smaller, more tapered end into me. The G-spot stimulation was so intense it almost hurt, as was the riotous orgasm that quickly followed.

I nicknamed my dildo the “Seaside Steamroller,” because a) we made it in a seaside town, b) its colors evoke the ocean, and c) it’s fucking MASSIVE and will basically steamroll your vagina. Sex toy reviewer extraordinaire Epiphora gave it a shot, and here’s what she had to say about it:

Daunted but also inspired by Girly Juice’s triumph with her Seaside Steamroller, I set out to conquer it myself. I went for the tapered end first, which is really wide, so I turned it sideways to insert it. Thoughts of how much of a genius I am for that move were replaced immediately by delicious G-spot sensations. Holy shit. It was AWESOME. I thought I’d be annoyed by the weight, but the shape of the handle was so ergonomic it didn’t matter.

The other, even larger end was less amazing. I had to do lamaze breathing to get it in (which I haven’t had to do since Randy), and the handle was facing down and away from me. Not ideal.

I switched back to the tapered end and proceeded to squirt all over everything and right through the hilariously useless towel under me. As I came down from my orgasm, I thought, somehow, some magical way, Girly Juice has managed to craft a dildo that improves upon the njoy Eleven. Yes: the Seaside Steamroller is what the Eleven wishes it could be.

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Our glass-making experience would not have been possible without the help of two of our #DildoHoliday sponsors, Tantus and We-Vibe. We had more fun making dildos than I would have thought possible, thanks to the generosity of these two fabulous and innovative companies.

Since coming home from Oregon, there have been moments when I’ve felt that #DildoHoliday couldn’t possibly have been real – like it was some souped-up fantasy or terrific dream. Because yeah, it is distinctly dreamlike to spend four days in a beach house far from your home with people you only knew from the internet, doing things like posing for naked pictures and masturbating side-by-side.

But then I hold my glass dildo and it’s like the spinning top from Inception: it reminds me that this stuff really happened, that this is my real life. And that’s an even better feeling than the G-spot pleasure my glass dildo gives me.

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Top photo by me. All other photos by Kate Sinclaire. Linked photo of blue glass dye by Penny.

10 Reasons Why Sex-Positive Friendship is Important

L to R: Reenie, Aerie, Bex, Penny, Kate, Epiphora, GJ
L to R: Reenie, Aerie, Bex, Penny, Kate, Epiphora, me!

 

#DildoHoliday is decidedly over, and dildrop is real.

I miss the beautiful house we stayed in. I miss the delicious group meals. I miss the mid-day masturbation breaks.

But mostly, I miss my friends.

When my dad was driving me to the airport to depart for Portland, he asked me, “Won’t it be weird to stay in a house with strangers?” but that’s not how I felt at all. These people weren’t strangers; I’d been corresponding with them on Twitter and other mediums for years. I already knew them better than I know most of the acquaintances I regularly see at home in Toronto: the guy who owns my favorite café, the distant classmates in some of my courses, the boys in my brother’s rock band.

I have sex-positive friends “in real life” as well, but #DildoHoliday really showed me just how important it is to have friends who are on the same page as you in as many ways as possible. There’s comfort and strength in that, for all of us, I think. Here are 10 reasons why sex-positive friendship is so valuable and crucial…

1. There’s no sexual shame. With my deeply sex-positive friends, I can talk about my kinks – even the ones I consider weird, taboo, or potentially unethical – and there’s no shame associated with it, from me or from my friends. If someone mentions fantasizing about exhibitionism or incest or watersports, no one even bats an eye. The most reaction you might get is something like, “Cool! Sounds fun!” or “Interesting! How’d you get into that?”

2. There’s no body shame, either. Body-positivity and sex-positivity are two different concepts with two different communities, but there’s a lot of overlap; most of my friends in each category also fall into the other. Being a chubby lady, I sometimes feel weird about getting naked (or even just exposing “problem areas” of my body) around people who I think might judge me; that’s not an issue with my body-positive pals. I can also eat what I want without worrying about how my food choices are being perceived. And in seeing all the carefree, happy body acceptance exhibited by my friends, I can get a little closer to that goal myself.

3. We don’t have to explain ourselves. Yeah, I own a lot of sex toys. Yeah, I sometimes post nudes on the internet. Yeah, I’m ideally looking for a kinky, non-monogamous person to be my next beau. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, and my sex-positive friends understand that without having to be convinced. Likewise, I accept their kinks and quirks, because that’s what “sex-positive” means: everything is A-OK as long as it’s safe, sane and consensual.

4. We don’t have to provide basic education. Look, I’m all for making the world a better place by teaching folks about sex, but I don’t want to do it all the time. It takes a lot of energy to explain, for example, why penetrative orgasms are an unreasonable goal for most vagina-havers, why a particular advertisement is sexist or racist, or what it means to be a sex toy reviewer. It’s nice to be around people who’ve taken the time to educate themselves and who therefore understand me without requiring me to explain what I consider basic-level concepts.

5. We nerd out about the same stuff. We refer to Tristan by her first name only, because we all know who she is and what she does. We get enthused about new sex toys on the market and discuss ‘em with wild abandon. Making our own glass dildos sounds 100% fun and 0% weird. (More about that in a future blog post, OF COURSE!) Sharing in each other’s enthusiasms brings us closer and – yes – makes life a ton more fun.

6. We can give each other advice. And not just basic, unhelpful advice that you could find on Google or Yahoo Answers – high-level advice tailored to the person asking. If I’m on the hunt for a new sex toy and I ask an in-the-know friend, she can suggest a toy that’s not only good but good for me specifically. Or I can ask a friend how to approach a difficult sexual conversation, knowing that she’ll keep my anxiety issues in mind when she answers. Or I can help my friend craft a tricky email to a sex toy retailer, knowing exactly what’s at stake and why she’s struggling with it. The better you know your friends and the worlds they’re a part of, the better equipped you are to help them navigate those worlds.

7. We can be sexual around each other without it getting weird. I once had sex with my then-FWB while my best friend photographed us. I’ve masturbated in front of friends, and watched them do the same. I’ve told friends explicit stories about sex and masturbation, and listened to theirs. I’ve watched porn with friends, groaned at the hottest parts, and talked in detail about how our vaginas were reacting to the scenes’ events. When you do this stuff with sex-positive pals, it tends to feel like a natural extension of your friendship instead of like some strange, stilted step into another realm. Sexual pleasure is a massive source of joy and I see no reason to fence it into my romantic relationships exclusively.

8. We get excited about each other’s sexy adventures. I still remember the time I texted a friend to tell her I’d given my first-ever blowjob and she responded by telling me she didn’t want to hear about stuff like that. It hurt to have a friend snub me about something I considered thrilling and momentous. With my present-day sex-positive friends, that kind of thing would never happen. My family and casual pals may not applaud me when I manage to insert a large dildo for the first time or gasp in delight when I tell them I met my favorite porn star, but my sex-positive friends do – because they get it.

9. We complain and commiserate for the greater good. My friends understand that it’s gross when some dude silently favorites all my selfies, that mansplainers are the scum of the earth, and that weak vibrators make clits sad. When we complain together about stuff like this, we can make it into a joke, something to laugh at, so it becomes more palatable and easier to tolerate. We may not be able to rid the world of douchebros and shitty toys, but we can laugh our asses off about them, which is almost as good.

10. We help each other expand and explore. I would never have gotten naked on camera if I didn’t have friends who shoot porn and nudes, but I’ve loved doing it and it’s helped me evolve as a sexual person. I would have taken much longer to end my last relationship, even though it was clearly dead, if my friends hadn’t encouraged me to go through with it. One of my most treasured memories from #DildoHoliday is a round-table discussion we had where we all shared what we’d like to see each other blog about. When your friends are living sex-positive lives, they can help you see how to live that way too, in bigger and better ways every day. And that’s a very good thing.

What do you appreciate most about your sex-positive amigos?

Sex Blogging Secrets, Part 1: Starting a Blog

A couple weeks ago, this email landed in my inbox:

Hi GJ. I’m writing because I was wondering if you have any tips for someone who is thinking of starting a sex blog. I’m not sure if I want to do it, but do you have any advice for starting a blog, keeping it going, getting readers, making money from your blog (if you do), etc.?

Needless to say, I have a lot of thoughts on this topic! So I’m going to split up my answer into a multi-part series. Today’s part focuses on starting a blog and all the choices and challenges that come along with that.

Choosing a name

I suggest you brainstorm at least a couple dozen different blog names that do a good job of capturing the kind of mood and subject matter you hope your blog will convey. Then, pick your favorites and roll them around in your mind for a while. Write them down, say them out loud a lot, ask your friends what they think, etc. If any name starts to feel wrong or uncomfortable in any way, axe it from the list!

I say this because – secret confession time – I really don’t like the name of my blog. I chose it because I thought it had the sexy-meets-dorky vibe I knew my blog would end up having, but the more that I’ve lived with this blog name, the less I like it. Saying it out loud makes me cringe (which makes in-person networking difficult, obviously!) and I often feel like I have to justify or explain what it means.

Choose a blog name that you’re in love with, that you’re proud to say, that reminds you of your vision for your blog, and that you could shout across a crowded room without someone mishearing or misunderstanding it.

Domains, hosting, and other web names

An addendum to the above point: the name you choose for your blog should, ideally, be available as a .com domain name as well as a username on every social media site you plan to use.

You’ll notice that I have a .net domain name, and my Twitter username has an underscore in it. Learn from my mistakes! Check this stuff before you decide on a name.

I’m not a wiz kid when it comes to stuff like domain registration and web hosting, so I will refer you to Epiphora’s sex blogging guide because she goes into those things in detail.

Can you really be a sex blogger?

A reality check: you should only start a sex blog if:

• You LOVE writing

• You’re VERY passionate about sex

• You can come up with at least 20-30 different blog post ideas off the top of your head right now

• You can handle criticism and rudeness (especially if you’re a woman)

• You can talk/write/think about sex without blushing or cringing, AND

• You understand that blogging is not a get-rich-quick scheme

Please don’t start a sex blog solely for money, fame, free products, or sexual attention. You may well get those things eventually, but they are not good motivators for maintaining a blog in the long-term, and you will flame out before the going gets good if you’re expecting those faraway incentives to show up immediately.

Do this because you want to do it and love the thought of doing it. That’s really the only motivation that will keep you blogging for the long haul. (I say this as someone who is obsessed with sex and absolutely adores writing. Trust me, these things are important!)

What’s your blog’s deal?

What is your blog going to be about? And don’t just say “sex,” because, duh. Get more specific. Are you going to review sex toys? Criticize sexual media? Write erotica? Detail your sexual adventures? Will your goal be to help your readers, or to entertain them, or both, or something else entirely? Will your lens be feminist, sex-positive, both, neither, or something else? How do you want readers to feel when they read your blog? Will your voice be saucy, sexy, straightforward, silly, or serious?

Sharpening your vision is very important, especially since blogging is an oversaturated game and you need to set yourself apart to have any hope of success. It might help to come up with some kind of tagline or subtitle for your blog, even if you never use it anywhere. (Mine is “Reviews and how-to’s for feminist sex nerds.”) The better and clearer your internal guide for the work you plan to do, the stronger and more unique your work will be.

Here are some examples of bloggers who I think have really strong, well-developed, unique niches within the realm of sex blogging:

Epiphora writes snarky, brutally honest sex toy reviews, and occasional feminist rants.

Reenie approaches her reviews and writing from a perspective of relative innocence and sheltered-ness, which I think her readers find either adorable or relatable, depending on their own personal experiences.

Lilly is hard to please and writes tough but fair reviews. She also writes easy-to-understand, no-bullshit guides to technical or scientific aspects of sex toys and sex blogging, like toxic toy chemicals and how to file copyright complaints.

Aerie’s blog combines sex toy writing with board game writing, because they are passionate about both of those things. Aerie is a great example of someone who puts their own spin on sex blogging by capitalizing on their authentic interests.

Your “about” page

This should be one of the first things you write when you make your blog. It’s important, not only so your readers can find out more about you, but also so you get a better sense of the persona or personality you’re going to project with your blog.

Please include, at a minimum, all of the following things on your About page:

• Your name (or the pseudonym you’ll go by on your blog)

• Your pronouns/gender identity (yes, even if you’re cis and normative-looking)

• Where and how you can be reached (email address, social media handles, maybe a contact form)

• Why, how, and when you started your blog

• Your blog’s mission/what sets you apart (you can state this as simply or complexly as you like, but it should be there somewhere)

• Any other info you think your readers should know about you in order to understand where you’re coming from (possibly: age, location, sexual orientation, relationship status, etc.)

• Some personality! Let your sense of humor, writing voice, and real interests shine through.

Check out my About page and those of the bloggers I listed above for some examples.

Stay tuned; the next post in this series will be about what to do once you’ve actually started your blog – generating ideas and writing posts. Get excited!!