A Year With the Double Trouble (+ Win My Favorite Toy!)

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November. I creep to the post office with a harried desperation in my step. Once there, I slink to the service counter and slide my “missed delivery” notice toward the clerk, hoping she won’t ask me what’s inside the package she fetches for me. She doesn’t. I clutch it to my chest the whole way home, protecting it from the world and the prying eyes of others, like it’s my baby. It kind of is.

imageDecember. I’m enthusing about my new toy – the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble – to an equally new fuckbuddy. “Why don’t you marry it?!” he jibes, and I think through this scenario like it’s an actual possibility. Already, the Dub Trubz has given me more orgasms than this fuckpal has, so it seems like a decent contender for spousal consideration.

A few weeks into fucking me on the regs, my FWB’s getting frustrated that he hasn’t been able to make me come. It’s not his fault, I tell him; it takes me a while to warm up to new partners, and for them to learn what I like. “Show me how to get you off,” he texts, and I come over to his house with my Double Trouble and Tango crammed into my bag.

Post-makeouts and foreplay, I lube up my favorite side of the D-Trub – the slightly thinner, longer side – and push it inside myself. I let him grasp the other side and take the reins, but I offer a running commentary of directions to help him along: “Tilt the handle down so the tip hits my A-spot better. Move it in small in-and-out motions. A little deeper, please. Harder. Just a liiiittle faster. There. Yes. Like that. Right there.” It doesn’t take long. I fall to pieces in front of him, the Tango handily handling my clit while he strokes the DT over my spot again and again. He finally got to see me come. He’s thrilled.

imageJanuary. I masturbate constantly with my not-so-new-anymore treasure. It’s like the honeymoon phase in a relationship; I just can’t see anything wrong with it, nor do I want to. It makes me squirt, it makes me giggle, it makes me come and come and come. I take it in the bath, to fuckbuddies’ houses, to coffee-dates with friends so I can show them my fave toy. Sometimes I’m lying in bed and I catch sight of it on my nightstand, and I have to use it immediately. It’s that good.

February. Planning my first anal sex experience, I’m sexting with a handsome hookup who loves using toys on me. “Any particular toys you want me to bring?” I ask him, nervous and excited. The hotel room is booked; this is really happening.

image“It’s about what you like,” he replies. “Even if I’m having a good dick night, that’s gonna be three rounds, max, with variable stamina. But if you want to get rammed with a toy for another 20 minutes, bring that. ;)” My heart quickens and I slide the Double Trouble into the toy bag I’ve already packed well beyond its capacity.

When the moment for toy-ramming actually arrives, there are really only two choices worth considering, and they’re both on the nightstand of our hotel room. “It’s up to you,” I tell him when we’re trying to decide which one should be the one to get me off. “The Eleven is more G-spotty, and the Double Trouble is more A-spotty.”

He fingered me a little, earlier in the night, so he’s bang-on when he intuits, “It seems like you’re in an A-spot kind of mood tonight.” (This is before I realize that I’m pretty much always in an A-spot kind of mood.) He fetches my Hitachi and lubes up the dildo, and I give him my same old detailed play-by-play of how to fuck me with this blue glass behemoth. He absolutely nails it. “I wish my dick was shaped like this,” he mutters, mere minutes before making me come so hard I practically black out.

March. “Some orgasms are quick, small, and barely noticeable,” I tweet. “And some orgasms involve the Double Trouble.”

April. I have a lacklustre Tinder hookup in Minneapolis. It sates my BJ craving but doesn’t get me off – one-night stands almost never do – so I wreck myself with my Dub Trubz after the dude drives me back to where I’m staying. Once again, a damn good dildo saves the day.

May. I’m on antidepressants for the first time in my life, and suspect that they might be affecting my sexual sensitivity. During a threesome with Bex and my favorite fuckbuddy, he uses his fingers and then the Double Trouble on my A-spot, and I don’t even get close to coming. That’s when I know for sure that my orgasmic capabilities have been stunted by the medication. If that dude’s fingers can’t get me off, something is wrong; if the D-Trubz can’t get me off, something is really wrong. I quit the pills the very next day.

June. I declare on Twitter that if my vagina were a polyamorous person, the Double Trouble would be its primary partner. (Truth be told, when I’m between partners, this toy feels like it’s my primary partner.)

28796671452_838a1a04bf_oJuly. I have a new kinda-boyfriend, and my fave fuckpal is in town. I have a lot of sex. No, really, a lot of sex. And a lot of it involves the Double Trouble. It’s fascinating to observe different partners’ approaches to using it on me.

One memorable afternoon, me and my fuckbuddy are gettin’ down to business in my bedroom in an Airbnb, while Bex shoots porn in the next room. While warming me up with his fingers, he reminds me in a low, vaguely dom-y tone, “We have to be really quiet.” I nod and pull a pillow over my face as a preemptive measure. He hands me my Hitachi, then lubes the Double Trouble and pushes it into me. I thought I could be quiet. Now I’m not so sure.

When we go out for dinner, I say to Bex, “You’re gonna lock the door, right?” and without missing a beat, they reply, “Duh. There’s a Double Trouble in there.”

August. I bring my Dub Trub to Woodhull so the other sex bloggers can ooh and aah over it. They do. One afternoon, horny and socially overwhelmed, I skip a session and sneak upstairs to my hotel room for an introvert break that is also a masturbation break. I work myself up with deft precision, Tango in one hand and Double Trouble in the other. It’s quick and easy. I feel instantly better.

Later in the month, I bring a new beau back to my place, and we hook up for the first time. “I want you to show me where your A-spot is,” he whispers darkly; he’s obviously been reading my tweets. I help him find it with his fingers first, and then I arm him with the DT. He picks up the necessary skillset admirably fast. After I come, he tells me, “That was hot,” and I radiate a glowy grin.

img_3885September. I’m miserable. Heartbroken over a recent romantic rejection, bitter over a couple of nasty break-ups, and as dour and depressed as I’ve been in recent memory. My genitals feel foreign to me, and most days, masturbation is too much work to contemplate. But when I need it, the Double Trouble is there. It sleuths out my A-spot. It makes me come. I don’t have to think, or try, or fantasize. Paired with the Magic Wand or Tango, it’s nearly instant. I’m unspeakably grateful for sex toys, because they make my life a little easier when it seems very, very hard.

October. I go to Malta and Italy for two weeks. Knowing I’ll be sharing a hotel room with my mom the whole time, I give minimal thought to masturbation. At the last minute, I decide to pack my Tango and G-Spoon, just incase. They end up being indispensable to me, since travel stress makes me horny as hell – but I still wish I’d brought my Double Trouble. True, I would’ve panicked the whole time that it’d get lost or stolen somewhere in an airport or a cargo hold, but nonetheless, I miss it. It’s my go-to guy.

November. I have an impromptu threesome with a handsome friend and a pretty lady. She plays with my nipples, kisses me, and tells me how cute I am, while he fucks me with the Double Trouble. He stands by the edge of the bed so he can fully harness the strength of his quads to ram me. At one point I start to get anxious and ask him, “Are you tired? Do you want to stop?” and he all but rolls his eyes, because he knows I’m prone to insecurities about taking too long to come. “You just lie back, relax, and feel good,” he instructs me. While I’m coming hard a few minutes later, he quips, “See what happens when you trust me?” and it’s one of the hottest things I’ve ever heard.

The next morning, Suz has to go home early, so it’s just me and Handsome Pal snugglin’ naked in bed. One thing leads to another, and once again, he’s got that big chunk of blue glass buried in me. “Harder,” I pant. I want more sensation. I want it to almost hurt. I want to come so hard for him. “If I go any harder, I might impale you,” he comments, “but I think you want to be impaled.” And then he presses the DT’s tip even more insistently against my A-spot, slamming the toy in and out of me faster. My yeahs and right-theres and don’t-stops coalesce into gasps and screams. The orgasm hits me like a train. I haven’t come that hard in months.

The 20th is the one-year anniversary of the Double Trouble’s arrival in my life. I decide I want to do something to mark the occasion. I ask the many-times-aforementioned friend with benefits – the person who’s handled my D-Trubz the most, other than me – for a mini-review to include in this post, and he writes back: “Fucking a partner with the Double Trouble fulfills my fantasy of having some kind of prehensile sci-fi alien penis… Recommended!” I simultaneously laugh and get turned on, a thrilling Pavlovian response. Unf.

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I have the most exciting news for you, my loves: you can win a Double Trouble!! Last week, I reached out to SheVibe and Fucking Sculptures to ask if they’d provide a gift card that one of my readers could win and potentially put towards a DT, but both companies are fuckin’ superstars and they each generously offered an actual goddamn Double Trouble for my giveaway instead. Amazing!!

If you win one, SheVibe or Fucking Sculptures will ship you the toy for free if you live within the U.S. If you’re located elsewhere, you’ll have to pay the shipping yourself (but trust me, it’s worth it).

The giveaway goes until December 1st. I’m so so happy I get to hook up two of my lovely readers with my very favorite sex toy!

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My Favorite Toys For Brain-Melting A-Spot Orgasms

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Sometimes people ask me why I don’t do much in-person sex education work – workshops, motivational speaking, and so on – and the reason is that I don’t feel I’ve really found my “niche” yet. My oeuvre doesn’t have a central focus within the sexuality field, the way, say, JoEllen writes about sex and depression or Drew talks about sex and disability.

However, if there’s one niche topic I’m uniquely known for, it’s the A-spot. I get tweets, comments and emails from people all the time, telling me I helped them identify that strange spot deep inside them that brings them so much pleasure. The A-spot barely gets any hype compared to its shallower neighbor, the G-spot – and yet, my interactions with readers have shown me that it’s a highly erogenous zone for a lot of people. I’m happy to be a one-woman PR machine for this underrated spot if it means getting the word out and bringing more pleasure to the world!

The number-one question I get about the A-spot is, “What are the best toys for finding and stimulating it?” So I’ve put together this guide to A-spot toys, because dammit, you guys deserve terrific orgasms.

General Shape and Size Considerations

So here’s the deal. The A-spot is waaaay deep inside the vagina, right in front of the cervix. This means that, as with G-spot toys, you’re going to want something that curves forward/upward, toward your belly button – but A-spot toys need to be longer, since your G-spot’s usually about 2-3 inches past the vaginal entrance and the A-spot will typically be another 2-3 inches past that (depending on arousal level, where you are in your cycle, and how high or low your cervix is generally).

The depth of the A-spot also means it responds best to toys with a gentle or small curve, not a drastic one. G-spot toys like the Pure Wand can’t do double-duty as A-spot toys, because they curve so intensely that they can’t get deep enough inside the vagina.

Additionally, because the A-spot is tucked away in front of the pain-sensitive cervix, you’re generally gonna want something with a narrow or tapered tip that can slide up in there. A toy that’s too wide will bump into the cervix and/or stop short of the A-spot. So, even if you’re ordinarily a girth enthusiast, you’ll want to size down somewhat if you’re seeking your A-spot.

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Silicone Toys

The Tantus Tsunami will hold a special place in my heart forever, because it’s the toy that first introduced me to my A-spot. It has a slight curve right at the tip, which enables it to curl up in front of my cervix without bumping it. It’s also relatively slender at the tip and thicker through the rest of the shaft, which means the rest of my girth-loving vagina doesn’t have to go unsatisfied.

I also occasionally like realistic (read: cock-like) silicone dildos for A-spot purposes. The important factors are (as stated above) sufficient length, a slight curve, and a tapered tip. My faves are the Tantus Pack ‘n’ Play #1 and VixSkin Mustang. (The Mustang is also a killer G-spot dildo, when thrusted a little more shallowly, so it gets my Multi-Talented Toy seal of approval!)

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Glass Toys

As with most internal erogenous zones, my A-spot likes a relatively firm touch, so glass is a good material for stroking it. The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon is one of my all-time favorite A-spot whisperers: the slight curve at its tip lets it meander past my cervix just right. If you buy a G-Spoon for this purpose, make sure to order a medium or large one, so it’ll be long enough to get deep inside you.

Fucking Sculptures also makes the Double Trouble, arguably my favorite dildo of all time. Its thinner end hits my A-spot more consistently and pleasurably than any other toy in my collection. This is something of a mystery to me, since the Dub Trubz is super girthy (Sunny Megatron calls it “Fisting Lite“) and theoretically shouldn’t be able to slide past my cervix – and yet, it unmistakably strokes the fuck out of my A-spot. Something about its shape and angle just makes it inexplicably perfect for this task – provided you, like me, can handle its size.

For a cheaper and less dicey glass option, I recommend the Icicles #53. It has a tapered, slightly tilted head that can zero in on the A-spot with ease, and it retails for under $30. While it isn’t as luxurious as Fucking Sculptures’ artisanal offerings, it is simple and gets the job done.

Positioning

It can be tricky to reach the A-spot, whether you’re doing it yourself or having a partner do it for you. I’ve recently become obsessed with the Liberator Jaz as a solution to this problem. Slide it under your hips and it’ll elevate your butt and pelvis just right – not only for A-spot exploration but also for G-spot play, PIV sex, butt stuff, or pretty much any other precarious genital maneuver. (A pillow or two can achieve a similar effect for cheaper, but Liberator products hold their shape better than pillows and just do a better job overall, so I’d recommend ’em over pillows if you can afford it.)

Similarly to G-spot play, you might find you get a better sensation if you angle the base of your dildo downward (toward your butt) so that the tip makes better contact with your spot. I find it’s easier to have a partner do this than to do it yourself – plus it’s sooooo fun when someone is fucking you with a dildo and they find the perfect spot and get all excited about your sudden moans/screams/eyes rolling back in your head. (Umm, it’s possible that A-spot stimulation turns me into Regan MacNeil.)

Other Tips

Betcha could’ve guessed I’d recommend you use lube, huh?! “MORE LUBE” is basically the battle cry of the sex educator. But seriously, it helps. The more lubrication there is inside your vag, the more room you have to move around and the more comfortable you’ll tend to be.

That said: I’d also recommend you try A-spot stimulation sans lube at least a couple times, just to see if that feels different/better for you. I tend to skip lube when I use my Double Trouble because the presence of a little friction allows it to “pull” on my vaginal walls in a way that’s really pleasing to my A-spot. (Errr, this is a difficult thing to explain in words. Just trust me, sometimes strategic dryness is a good thing.) Extra lubrication is also a known effect of A-spot play, so don’t be alarmed if you find yourself juicier than usual when touching this spot.

The cervix is like the socially awkward friend who the A-spot brings to parties and sometimes has to babysit all night. Which is a roundabout metaphorical way of saying: unfortunately, your cervix has to be in a good mood for your A-spot to have any fun. For certain people, there are times in their hormonal cycle when their cervix might dip particularly low and/or be particularly sensitive to pain, and those times might not be ideal for A-spot play. It’s okay; you’ll just appreciate the pleasures of A-spot stimulation extra hard when you can experience them again.

When using toys on my A-spot, I tend to use small in-and-out motions, rather than big sweeping thrusts or scooping/rocking motions. However, as always, your mileage may vary, and you should experiment with different modes of movement to see what feels best for you.

I highly recommend incorporating clitoral stimulation when you play with your A-spot. These two things feel excellent separately and that excellence increases exponentially when you combine them. Like many people, I can’t come without clitoral involvement, so when I say I have “A-spot orgasms,” what I really mean is that I have blended clitoral/A-spot orgasms. And they are my very favorite orgasms my body is capable of. Unf.

Finally: please don’t feel bad if, despite knowing all this stuff and trying it out, you still don’t really respond to A-spot stimulation. Like any other erogenous zone on the body, it can be amazing for some people and totally “meh” for others. You are not broken or weird if your A-spot doesn’t respond to touch, or even if you actively dislike being touched there. Pursue what actually gives you pleasure, not what’s “supposed to” give you pleasure!

 

Those of you who have discovered the wonders of the A-spot: what are your favorite toys, tools and techniques for making your spot feel good?

 

Review: Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble

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Did someone break into the penthouse of my vagina and steal the blueprints? Because the Fucking Sculptures Double Trouble feels like it was designed just for me.

My vagina hungers for it. It can’t make up its mind which side is better. “Tonight I want the smaller side,” I’ll think, and insert that slightly slimmer end until it slides all up into my A-spot. That fuck-yeah feeling of deep pressure and rhythm seems like everything I could possibly want… until I remember that the toy’s other side exists.

I flip it around and push the big side into me, turning it sideways at first so it’ll fit. It finds my G-spot with alarming ease. It’s like a little fist, so round and firm, exerting pressure in places I didn’t even know I needed it. I rock it against my G-spot fast until I squirt, and still I want more. So I flip the toy back around. And again. And again.

This is how every session with my Double Trouble seems to go: a slow, jagged, delicious ascent toward orgasm, unable to decide what kind of stimulation the toy provides best. It’s the Renaissance man of my vagina. And it was appallingly expensive, but in the sticky heat of the moment, I don’t remember or care.

imageI first tried a Double Trouble at Bex‘s house. They were borrowing Caitlin‘s, which is the standard inky-black color that the DT usually comes in. While Bex and Penny chatted in the next room, I retreated to the air mattress Bex had set up for me in their office, pilfered some lube, and settled in with the Double Trouble. It felt luxurious and heavy and huge, and I didn’t think my vagina would like it as much as my eyes did, but I was wrong. I was also, admittedly, very drunk (I had been out cavorting with a friend earlier in the evening), which made me wonder if perhaps I was experiencing the toy with a rose-tinted vagina.

I immediately noticed that the A-spot stimulation I could get from the DT’s smaller end was excellent, and it made me come super hard in combination with my trusty Tango. But the larger end wouldn’t fit inside me at all, which I decided was a dealbreaker, especially given how expensive the toy is. It took a lot of willpower not to place a drunken order from the Fucking Sculptures website that very night, but those drawbacks were enough to keep me from hitting the “Add to Cart” button. (Well, let’s be real, I think I did hit “Add to Cart” but at least I didn’t hit “Check Out.”)

However, in subsequent months, I started to notice that all my favorite dildos du jour were massive and S-shaped. And I kept casting my mind back to that debauched night on Bex’s air mattress. On Twitter, I complained about not being able to afford the dildo of my dreams – and within 24 hours, I got booked for two cam shows with kindly horny men who wanted to fund my dildo habit in exchange for some saucy Skype time. The internet is magic, y’all.

imageMy lascivious benefactors only covered about half the cost of the toy, but that was enough to justify it for me – especially since Fucking Sculptures was having a sale at the time. I emailed Maria, co-owner of the company, to ask if she happened to have any Double Troubles left from the limited-edition, sky-blue “Dreamy Daze” batch that had been made back in May. As it turned out, she had exactly one left. And if you know me, you know that I love blue sex toys. So that sealed the deal. I ordered it on the spot.

Courtney Trouble has said that they designed the Double Trouble to be “a representation of a cunt from the inside out,” and that’s totally what it feels like to me. It fills the hungry void that my vagina sometimes becomes, and presses against the exact spots where I want pressure.

imageThe smaller end is the one I use the most – and I’m using the word “smaller” pretty loosely here, because it’s still big; it’s just more tapered and pointed, so it’s easy to insert even if I haven’t warmed myself up or used any lube. (My vagina is a professional, though, so your mileage may vary. Go forth and lubricate, my friends!) It has the mild curve and slightly narrowed tip that tends to work well for hitting my A-spot, and indeed, it does so fantastically. I just need to push down on the other end a little bit to get the angle right. I’ve even taught a few partners how to do this, and it seems to be a fairly easy toy to fuck someone with: despite how deep I like my Double Trouble inserted, I’ve yet to have a partner painfully bump my cervix with it, because the curve and taper are just right.

I like the bigger end too, but I have to be in the right mood for it. As I’ve mentioned here before, intense G-spot stimulation isn’t really my jam; sometimes I crave it but mostly I can take it or leave it. However, when that’s what I want, this end can totally deliver. It’s enormous and has no taper, so I have to turn it sideways to get it into me, but once it’s in, it’s comfortable (not like my so-intense-it’s-almost-painful Seaside Steamroller). The angle is not as drastic as something like the Seduction or Comet Wand, so the most adamant of G-spotting fans may not be pleased with it, but it works well for my body.

Fucking Sculptures makes their toys out of soda lime glass, which is heavier than the borosilicate often used for cheaper, mass-produced glass toys. As you might have noticed, the Double Trouble is gigantic, so it’s pretty heavy: about 1.75 lbs. I’m used to thrusting heavy toys (my beloved Eleven is 2.75 lbs) so this doesn’t bother me unless I’m using the toy for a long period of time and my muscles start to tire. But if you have any mobility or strength issues in your arms, wrists or hands, you will definitely hate the Double Trouble.

But me? I definitely love it. If my vagina and this dildo both had OkCupid accounts, their compatibility percentage would be 99%. And they would exchange flirty messages that quickly became explicit. And then they would go on a drinks-date, banter wittily for a few minutes, and retire to the Double Trouble‘s apartment for some raucous, sweaty sex.

 

You can buy the Double Trouble at SheVibe! And you should, ’cause it’s the fucking bomb!

Monthly Faves: Daddy Doms, Bookstore Pinups & a Vanilla Renaissance

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Shout-out to January 2016 for containing the highest number of sexual partners I’ve ever packed into one month: three. (Some of my friends would tell me that’s “not that many,” but, well, one step at a time, right?) I told you back in October that I was entering a “Slut Phase” and I was not lyin’. Although, secret confession: lately I’ve been craving some good ol’-fashioned emotional monogamy. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.

But I digress… Here are some of my fave sexy things from the month of January. What were yours?

 

Sex toys

• Oh my, I loved the Doxy Wand this month. My review is comin’ up soon, but here’s a preview: rumbly, ergonomic, reliable. The Doxy is to the Hitachi as Bart Simpson is to Dennis the Menace: a cooler, slicker upgrade for the modern era.

• I bought a Fucking Sculptures Pussywillow at a New York sex shop last month. Honestly, it’s not my faaaavorite Fucking Sculptures toy I own – that title still belongs firmly to the Double Trouble, like I’ve said before – but I’m still enjoying it. The bloops are satisfying and the gold glass is absolutely beautiful. (As above: review to come!)

• There’s a local leatherwares company here in T.O. called Unicorn Collaborators. They don’t have an online shop currently, but I will keep you posted if that ever happens. One of their products is a two-tiered leather bracelet that transforms into highly secure bondage cuffs when you flip one side onto your other wrist. My friend got me one in seafoam blue as a Christmas gift and I am obsessed. Aaaall the bondage adventures in 2016, please.

 

Fantasy fodder

• A dom-y partner has been helping me explore my DD/lg (Daddy Dom/little girl) kink, with the baby-est of baby steps. He’ll call me “princess” and “little one” and tell me what a “good girl” I’m being, and on the one hand, I find it really fucking hot, but on the other hand, it absolutely terrifies me. I constantly feel like I’m on the precipice of triggering icky feelings in myself and wanting to call the whole thing off. But I guess that’s just the nature of edgy kinks sometimes, huh?

• I’m not normally a domme at all, but one of my boycrushes/occasional play partners is very subby, and my deep affection for him seems to activate some toppiness in me each time I see him. I spent a night (and a sleepy sunlit morning) with him this month and it filled my head with notions of sitting on cute boys’ faces, riding their cocks, holding their wrists down, etc.

• This month I found and re-watched a video of myself having sex that I made when I was, um, too young to be doing such things. It was brutally awkward and badly shot, but it did get me thinking about early sexual experiences and how hot they can be (in fantasy, at least). Maybe it’s because of my aforementioned DD/lg kink, and inhabiting that “virginal little girl” mentality, but the freshness of trying new things in bed is really exciting to me.

 

Sexcetera

• I did so much porn-y stuff this month! First I shot a hella kinky scene for Spit – it was one of my first sexual encounters of 2016, which bodes well for the year, I think! – and then I posed for some cheeky pinup photos in the Glad Day Bookshop for Taylor J. Mace. (There was so little time between those two sessions that I still had a bruise on my ass from Spit when I shot with Taylor. Whoops!) I felt a little shy and awkward during both shoots, but less so than I was expecting to, actually. There are some more porn things on the horizon for me (follow my porn-y alter-ego on Twitter for updates) so it looks like this is A Thing That I Am Doing now!

• This month I reflected a lot on the importance of sexual mentors. I have a friend who’s just beginning to explore her kinks, especially spanking, and I’ve been trying to impart what little wisdom I’ve amassed on those topics. I also owe so much to the sexual role models in my own life, most of whom are strong, badass women. Here’s to sex-positive superheroines!

• After having a bit of a kink disaster mid-month, I found myself craving gentle, vanilla, kinda romantic sex. I was able to make that wish come true later in the month and it was so nice. Much like switching to apple juice after doing a flight of gourmet hoppy beers, sometimes it can be so sweet and healing to go back to basics. And while vanilla sex is considered boring by some, there are times when it is everything I need.

 

Femme stuff

• I now own the American Apparel Nylon Tricot Figure Skater Dress (phew, what a mouthful) in three different colors/prints: navy, floral, and leopard. Never enough slutty dresses!! This one is cut to be super flattering, making my waist look slimmer while playing up my curvy hips and boobs. I kind of want to buy, like, eight more of them…

• Sometimes my self-care practice manifests in very femme ways. This month, whenever I was stressed out or sad, it seemed all I wanted to do was pincurl my hair. I do it by curling small sections of hair with a curling iron and then pinning the still-coiled curls to my head with bobby pins until they’ve completely cooled. I find this method less time-consuming and frizz-inducing than the traditional “wet-set” method. There’s nothin’ quite like a bouncy head of hair to put a saucy spring in your step.

Caitlin showed me this video of Dita von Teese applying lipstick, and it made me want to invest in a decent lipliner and wear bright lipstick every single day. Maybe that should be a goal of mine for February!

 

Did you have a sexy January, my loves?

12 Days of Girly Juice: 1 Fantastic Toy Company

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2015 was the year of the Fucking Sculpture.

Though the company only really pinged on my radar this past year, they’ve been around for a good while. They crashed onto the scene in late 2012, instantly impressing bloggers with their dazzling toys and ballsy name. “These people just cut to the chase,” Epiphora wrote. “They called their company Fucking Sculptures.

When I first looked at their designs, I agreed that the toys were beautiful – but none of them seemed like a particularly good fit for my anatomy. At the time, I was into bulbous G-spotting heads and drastic curves, ideally without a lot of texture. The ridges, bloops and gentle slopes in Fucking Sculpture’s designs were a treat to look at, but didn’t seem like they’d agree with my vagina.

Fast-forward a couple years, and a chain of events brought Fucking Sculptures to the forefront of my awareness again. I heard Aerie extol the bliss their G-Spoon gave them, including how it creates “mind-blowing A-spot orgasms.” Then I got to speak to the company’s co-founder, Maria, for the radio show I guest-hosted over the summer, and her passion for glass dildos made me even more curious about her products.

Maria was kind enough to send me a G-Spoon and I immediately fell in love with it. Not only is it a stunningly gorgeous piece of art, but it also hits my A-spot better than any other toy I’ve ever used. Friends and sex partners have half-jokingly accused me of being “addicted” to it. Sometimes I call it the “G-Swoon,” for obvious reasons. It is just a perfect chunk of glass.

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In the months since then, I’ve amassed two more Fucking Sculptures toys: the Double Trouble and the Pussywillow. (Reviews to come, eventually.) I wanted these so much that I actually paid for them with real money, which sex toy reviewers rarely do. They’re expensive, but they are worth it. And, you know, they’re not really that expensive, for what they are. Plenty of “luxury” toys are around the same price range or higher and aren’t hand-sculpted in the attentive and exquisite way that Fucking Sculptures are.

I’ve used my Fucking Sculptures with partners, in front of friends, and on camera. They always get oohs and aahs when I pull them out. Friends marvel at their beautiful colors and shapes; partners remark on how weighty they feel in the hand, and how much I writhe and wail when the glass makes contact with a perfect spot inside me. These toys are more than toys – they are pieces of art, conversation starters, prized possessions and treasured trophies.

As of right now, I think I own all the Fucking Sculptures creations I need… but who knows? As 2016 progresses, I might develop a craving for even more.

 

Which company made your favorite toys in 2015?