Monthly Favorites: Pink Silicone, Don Draper & #DidYouJerkOffToday

Masturbation Month 2015 has come to a close! (Ha ha, “come.” I crack myself up.) Here’s what helped me in my self-lovin’ adventures in May…


• A weird thing about having a zillion sex toys is that you occasionally will develop a craving for one specific toy in your collection and you just have to use it, ASAP. This month I suddenly remembered that I own the Marc Dorcel So Dildo, a double-ended, S-curved, hot pink chunk o’ silicone, and I exhumed it from the bottom of my dildo drawer. It was my G-spot’s best friend this month!

• My clit still has a crush on the We-Vibe Tango. Oh, rumbly vibrations, what would I ever do without you?

• This is nothing new, but the VixSkin Mustang was a go-to dildo for me this month. My daily orgasm challenge (more on that in a sec) required me to step up my stimulation levels as orgasms became more difficult to achieve, and I knew I could count on the Mustang to deliver consistent, direct G-spot contact when I needed it.

Fantasy fodder

• Same as last month, a lot of my fantasies lately are revolving around “daddy kink.” My various fantasy-daddies are typically portrayed by Martin Freeman, Jon Hamm and/or Andy Samberg. (Oh my god, can you imagine having a foursome with that trio? It would be the absolute weirdest.)

• Speaking of Jon Hamm: I dipped my toe into the shifty, shady waters of Mad Men fanfic this month. To my surprise, there wasn’t a lot of smut featuring my OTP, Peggy and Stan, but apparently the whole damn Mad Men fandom wants Don and Peggy to hook up, and that’s pretty hot too, I guess.

• I keep thinking back to something I read in Shannon Bell’s book… She describes the entire upper vaginal wall as being a “female phallus,” one that swells with arousal just like a penis, and she writes about how when a male partner fucks her, it’s like his phallus is rubbing against and intertwining with hers. This image has been creeping into my pre-orgasmic visualizations recently and I kind of love it. Vagina power, yeah!

Et cetera

• I did a daily orgasm challenge for Masturbation Month. I managed to have 27 orgasms in 31 days – so, not the full 31, but still pretty good! My libido shot up and my mood seemed sunnier, but I also found the orgasms progressively more difficult to achieve. I had to rely a lot on super-strong vibrators, anatomically targeted dildos, and highly salacious fantasy material. It was fun to push my orgasmic limits, but I don’t think I’d do it again: it seems my body is happier when I have about 4-5 orgasms a week instead of one a day.

• Fun fact: tomorrow, I leave for Portland! A septet of sex bloggers, including myself, is gathering there for #DildoHoliday. I am beyond excited to finally meet Epiphora, Aerie, Kate, Penny, and Bex in person – and to see Reenie again! Follow along with our adventures using the #DildoHoliday hashtag on Twitter and Instagram.

What were some of your masturbatory faves in May? Did you do anything in particular for Masturbation Month?

5 Dildos I Couldn’t Live Without

As a sex toy reviewer, you often get asked what your favorite toy is, and it’s a bit like being asked, as a fashion fan, what your favorite piece of clothing is: you can’t really give a clear answer because it depends on so many factors. The context, the occasion, the time, the place you’re at mentally or emotionally. You might love your shearling boots in winter and your red floral sundress in summer. It’s the same with sex toys.

That said, there are five dildos that I tend to come back to, time and time again. Five dildos to rule them all, you might say. Here they are. Be warned: once you get your hands on one of them, you might become so addicted that you can’t put it down…

1. Vixen Creations VixSkin Mustang (review)

The Mustang is my first choice when I’m craving something realistic. It’s touchably soft and squishy, just like a flesh-and-blood cock. The texture and shape lend themselves well to fantasizing about good ol’-fashioned PIV sex.

The head and coronal ridge stroke along my G-spot in a way that’s pleasurable without being uncomfortable, like some more intense G-spot toys are. The Mustang is also long enough to hit my A-spot with ease. Overall: an excellent dildo that makes me all starry-eyed and happy-twatted.

2. Vixen Creations Leo (review)

Another Vixen dildo? Yes, they really are that good.

Leo is similar in size and shape to the Mustang, but its thickness is more consistent throughout, and it’s made of a firmer silicone, so it feels meatier. I tend to reach for it when I want a slightly more thorough rogering than I’d get from the Mustang.

It also has some scratchy texture just below its head, which doesn’t sound like it’d feel good but it does. Nothing else I own feels like that, so when I want a little roughness, I gotta have Leo.

3. Ophoria Beyond #3

This dildo has been discontinued and the sex toy blogosphere will never truly get over it, I think. I still get emails semi-regularly from people asking if I’d be willing to part with my Beyond 3 in exchange for money or other sex toys, and I always say no. That should tell you how valuable this toy is to me.

There are other deeply-curved, hyper-effective G-spot toys out there, like the Pure Wand and the Comet Wand, but the Beyond 3 is the one I like best. Its head is round and bulbous, its curve and angle are ideal, and its looped handle is ergonomic and comfortable. It’s the best tool for inducing knee-weakening, mind-bending G-spot sensations. Other toys can come close but, for me, they can’t match the Beyond 3’s perfection.

4. Tantus Acute (review)

I don’t know about you, but for me, vaginal penetration can sometimes be a bit of a chore. It’s worth the prep work, of course, but to do it, I have to spend time lubing up a toy and gently warming myself up with fingers or a smaller dildo, or penetration can be uncomfortable. For those times when I just can’t be bothered putting in the effort, the Acute is there.

It’s small, so it’s not always 100% satisfying, but the size-to-stimulation ratio is pretty impressive. That little curve goes straight for my G-spot and is surprisingly satisfying. This dildo will remain a bedside staple for me because it’s so, so good and so, so easy.

5. Tantus Tsunami (review)

I have a hard time even forming sentences to describe how good this dildo feels.

Ridges. Curve. G-spot. A-spot. Thrust. Smooth. Bumpy. PINK. VERY PINK.

See? Just trust me, even in my incoherence: it’s good.

What are your must-have penetrative toys?

My Love Affair with the VixSkin Mustang

The Mustang dildo by Vixen Creations has a formidable following. People rave about it. As one of the only Vixen dildos with manageably average measurements, it’s a very popular choice. After deciding I needed to own something made of VixSkin, it wasn’t long before I set my sights on the Mustang.

But for the first month or so after I got it, I wasn’t that impressed with it. “The VixSkin Mustang is too squishy and floppy to rub my G-spot the way I like,” I wrote in my initial review. And it was true – up until that point, my G-spot had only really been exposed to firm silicone, glass, steel, and hard plastic. To use a metaphor: if you’ve been blasting Led Zeppelin all your life, you’re unlikely to be too impressed by Vivaldi when you first start listening to his delicate compositions. But give it a while, and you might come around.

That’s what happened to me. I kept trying and trying to make the Mustang work for me, because it’s an expensive toy and I didn’t want it to go to waste… and after some time, I grew to like it. And then I grew to love it.

As far as realistic dildos go, it’s hard to find one more perfect than the Mustang. It’s non-porous and body-safe, has a killer G-spot curve and ultra-stimulating coronal ridge, flares comfortably in diameter to its widest spot at the bottom of the shaft, and isn’t so realistic as to look creepy. (Well, it creeps my boyfriend out a little, but that’s okay, he’s not the one shoving it inside of him.)

The VixSkin Mustang has surprised me by becoming one of my go-to dildos – so much that I find myself lusting after it in the new “fluoro-green” color even though I already have one. When you wish you owned more than one of the same toy, that’s a pretty dependable sign that it’s a keeper.