By the end of this month, I will have written and published 133 blog posts in 2019. I am a fiend; somebody stop me!! (Except don’t; this blog has become my main source of income in recent years.)
To sum up the year – and to give you some reading material to hang onto for when you’re hiding from your family in the bathroom over the holidays (lol) – here are my 11 favorite blog posts I published this year! (Curious about previous years’ favorite posts? Here’s 2018 and 2017!) These are ordered chronologically, rather than preferentially. Let’s dive in!
Early in the year, I wrote “Roleplay and Rapport at the Library Bar,” a post chronicling a roleplay scene I did with my partner where we pretended to be strangers meeting up to do an interview for a magazine story. This is one of my favorite scenes we did all year and I’m glad I had the presence of mind to write about it while it was still fresh! I liked including a few actionable tips at the end of the post for how to do a similar scene if you’re inclined to; I’m hoping to write more “sexy meets helpful” posts like this in 2020!
I always appreciate opportunities to write sponsored posts that are thought-provoking and engaging, and one of my faves of the year was “Sexting, Spanking, Stroking: What ‘Counts’ As Sex?“ The parameters of “sex” are unclear and ever-shifting, especially in this day and age, and it was fun to pontificate on the distinction between “sex” and “not sex” in this meandering post. I especially liked including little vignettes of encounters I’ve had that were ambiguously defined: “Does this count as sex?”
One of my most emotional posts of the year was “Obsessed & Distressed: Reflections on Rabid Love.” It’s about people whose affections could be deemed “obsessive” (like me) and whether or not their partners need to match that level of enthusiasm in order to stay with them happily. I’m still not totally sure where I fall on this – I think I could be happy with someone who loved less vehemently than I do, provided I was still getting that kick of hyper-focus from another relationship in my life – but it was fun to weigh the different sides of the issue nonetheless.
For my 7-year “bloggiversary” in March, I wrote “How I Became a Full-Time Sex Writer,” a timeline of my evolution into the salacious scribe you see before you today. I hope some folks found this helpful who are considering pursuing, or are already pursuing, a career like mine. When walking such an unusual path, it helps to have a road map, even if someone else’s journey isn’t quite the same as your own.
“You’re Someone’s Favorite Flavor“ was a retelling of a metaphor I’ve loved and used for a long time, about ice cream and attractiveness. I heard from a lot of people that this post helped ease some of their own panicked insecurities, which was, for me, the whole point of writing it.
My introversion remained an important part of my identity this year, hence writing a guide about “How to Take Yourself on a Date.” I was inspired by comedian Lane Moore’s dedication to the self-date, as detailed (alongside lots of other stuff) in her brilliant book How to Be Alone, and decided to write about my own experiences with this somewhat quirky practice. If even one person felt more empowered to “treat themselves” after reading my post, then I did my job!
When my partner came out as non-binary in July, I (of course) promptly wrote an R-rated post about it: “How They Fuck Me.” This was a meditation on the trans and non-binary partners I’ve been lucky enough to have, and the ways that their gender discoveries interplayed with our sex lives. This was one of my most popular posts of the year and I’m so glad!
I had a coming-out of my own in August, publishing a post called “So… I’m Demisexual!“ This was an identity I’d been pondering for a while, so it was good to have a chance to articulate it more fully, both for myself and for others. Ace-spectrum identities are still widely misunderstood, and shining more light on them is always worth doing.
One of the most fun posts I worked on all year was “The Joys of Distraction Play (or: I Wrote This While Getting My Clit Sucked).” Was this the first time that writing a blog post was, itself, a kink scene for me? Quite possibly…
My partner recently noted that my journalism education comes through in my blogging, and my post “The Case of the Disappearing Safety Pin Fetish“ was a prime example. I stumbled across this 1954 case study while researching a piece for a client about fetish psychology, and was immediately captivated. It led me to reflect on the ways fetishists are (mis)treated in our culture, and the hope that we might one day all be free to pursue our various kinks in whatever (risk-aware, consensual) ways we want.
Finally, I would be remiss not to include “Announcing… My Book Deal!!!“ in this list. I worked on this post behind-the-scenes for weeks while I awaited the go-ahead from my agent to shout about my forthcoming book from the proverbial rooftops, and I think it came out really cool. It contains not only the pertinent details about the book, but also a timeline of how the entire deal came to be – from the glimmer of an idea, to a signed contract in my hands. I hope it fires you up to pursue your own book deal, if that’s something you want!
What were your favorite blog posts you read this year (either on this site or elsewhere)? Link ’em in the comments!