Author: Kate Sloan

Review: Icicles No. 24

Kate Sloan

Pipedream’s Icicles collection is notorious for ripping off other people’s designs. However, I’ve never seen anything like the Icicles No. 24 anywhere else. It’s a pink tentacle. A gnarled tongue. A glass octopus cock. My curiosity was piqued the moment I saw it.

Conscious Contraceptives was nice enough to send me one, and when I took it out of the box, I just fondled it for a while. It’s kind of scary; the bottom side bears two long rows of pointy-ish bumps, and the top side has some tree branch-like lines carved into it. It’s one of those toys that could either be amazingly pleasurable or unprecedentedly painful. My vag was nervous.

But actually, this is a pretty awesome dildo. Sure, you need to use a boatload of lube on it, or your delicate internal tissues could snag uncomfortably on the ultra-mega texture all over this toy. But once lubrication is taken care of, the Icicles No. 24 provides some very unique and very intense sensations.

I prefer to use the dildo with the handle facing up toward my clit. This puts the bumps on the bottom side of my vag, where I can’t feel them as intensely – and this is a good thing, because even when I face them upward, they hit the perimeter of my G-spot without actually rubbing the spot itself. The feeling of those bumps took some getting used to, especially since that part of my vagina rarely gets much attention at all, but a few well-lubed practice sessions taught me to enjoy all that texture.

The top side of the toy is less texture-heavy, boasting an interconnected web of ridges that can definitely be felt but are never uncomfortable the way the bumps can be. The shape of the toy puts those ridges riiiight on my G-spot, while the tip curves downward into my posterior fornix. There’s not as much sexual sensitivity there as there is in my anterior fornix, but it still feels nice.

The curved handle is easy to hold onto, though I usually just grip it in my fist instead of bothering with the fingerhole. If the handle is intended to stimulate my clit, it’s a fail; I have to push the toy in uncomfortably far for that to happen. Besides which, it’s bumpy glass, which isn’t my clit’s favorite thing in the first place.

Overall, I’m fairly shocked by how much I like the Icicles No. 24. It’s not going to be my new go-to dildo or anything, but it surpassed my expectations. It might surpass yours too, if you like glass, texture, and tentacles, and you’ve got lube to spare.

Thanks so much to Conscious Contraceptives for sending me this toy! Check out their mission statement – a portion of their profit from every purchase is donated toward helping underprivileged communities get the contraceptives they need. Shop for sex toys and help the world!

Review: Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit

Kate Sloan

My boyfriend is a lucky guy. I buy him Tenga Eggs practically every time I’m in vicinity of a sex shop (which, as you might imagine, is often), and this past month I asked him if he’d be interested in reviewing a Fleshlight with me. Naturally, he said yes.

After poring over all the options, he settled on the Stamina Training Unit, or STU. It’s marketed as an aid for guys who want to last longer, but it only “helps” with this problem because it’s so stimulating that lasting five minutes with this Fleshlight is supposed to be like lasting ten minutes in a real vagina. My boyfriend just wanted it because the texture looked awesome, though.

Like I said, he has tried a few Tenga Eggs, including the Clicker, the Wavy, and one of the limited edition models. He reported to me that the Fleshlight actually feels very similar to the Eggs – soft, squishy, textured – but that the Fleshlight is better overall.

Why is it better? Well, one obvious reason is that it’ll last longer. If you take care of a Fleshlight properly, it could conceivably last for hundreds of uses, unlike a Tenga Egg which tend to start to fall apart after 5-10 uses, even with diligent cleaning.

The Fleshlight is also significantly quieter than an Egg. The Tenga products we’ve tried have always produced loud squelching noises that could definitely be heard by a bedmate or roommate. The Fleshlight does make sounds in use, but they’re quiet and subtle. You might even be able to get away with using it while someone sleeps in the same room as you, if you can control your moans.

For my boyfriend, the biggest factor giving it a leg up over Tenga Eggs is the cushiony “vulva” which he can press into his pubic mound. He likes pressure at the base of his penis, not only because it feels like “the real thing” but also because it just feels good, so he appreciates that he can apply that kind of pressure to his heart’s content with the Fleshlight.

There’s also a suction function, controlled by the screw-off cap on the end of the toy, which he doesn’t really dig, though he says that plenty of guys would like it.

He likes that the Fleshlight allows for “a level of disconnect” that the Eggs don’t. Using the Fleshlight almost feels like he’s not jerking off, like someone else is in charge of the motion – perhaps because he doesn’t have direct control over the tightness of the Fleshlight’s grip, unlike he does with the Eggs.

I asked him what he thought of the visual of his penis going in and out of a rather realistic-looking vulva. He said he’d prefer if it was just a plain slit, because as is, it “feels a little objectifying.” I asked him if he thought my realistic dildos were “objectifying” and he wasn’t sure what to say to that. (My boyfriend is such a feminist. It’s nice.)

As for the actual texture of the sleeve, it’s very intense. He’s uncut and very sensitive, so I was worried that this texture might overwhelm him, but he really likes it – as long as it’s thoroughly lubed. I gave him a bottle of a thin Sliquid lube to use with it (the Fleshlight’s material can only handle water-based lubricants), and he says he likes it but it dries out too quickly. Something thicker and more gel-like would probably be a better choice.

The main downside to owning a Fleshlight is that cleaning it is a big fuckin’ deal. You have to clean it after every single use, as soon as possible (i.e. ideally within an hour), or it risks becoming gummy, tacky, or even mouldy. You can’t use soap, only water and maybe some isopropyl alcohol if necessary. You can’t turn it inside out, or it’ll tear. And once it’s clean, you have to set it out to dry, and you can’t put it back into the case until it’s completely dry or it’ll get mouldy. Does this sound like a process you want to go through when you’ve just had an orgasm? Not so much.

Another “con” of this product is that it’s not discreet in the least. For a company that has built an entire line of toys on the idea of “looking like a flashlight,” the STU really doesn’t. It’s way too big and bulky to be a flashlight, plus it’s gold, plus it has the word “Fleshlight” emblazoned on the side of it. Yeah, real subtle. Needless to say, my boyfriend would prefer if the case was plainer and looked less like a prop from a Las Vegas burlesque show.

I asked him for an overall rating out of 5, and he said 3.75. At $70, the Fleshlight STU would be worth the money if he was single, he says, but as a guy in a happy sexual relationship, he just doesn’t use it often enough to make it worth that price tag. It feels great, but the impending cumbersome cleanup makes him reluctant to use it as often as he’d like to. Still, he likes it more than I was expecting him to.

Thanks so much to Sex Toys Canada for sending us this toy to try out!

Porn Review: Crash Pad Series #131

Kate Sloan

I feel kind of embarrassed to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of April Flores. I don’t know what it is; she’s utterly gorgeous, very sexy, and shows up all the time in the kind of porn I love, but I just can’t get into her.

Still, though, I was interested to see her shoot for Crash Pad Series. Crash Pad’s “solo” videos are always amusing and often arousing, because a story has to be invented for why this person ended up masturbating alone in the Crash Pad (see: Dylan Ryan getting “trapped” in a voyeur situation and then needing to jerk off immediately afterward). In April’s case, there isn’t much in the way of story: she knows all about the Keymaster, the fictional voyeuristic character who leers curiously at every Crash Pad performer via a camera-and-computer setup, and so April decides to put on a show.

This concept is not hot to me. I like my voyeurism to be secretive and subtle; I never want to feel like the porn performers are aware of my presence, or the camera’s presence. April talks to the Keymaster/camera for much of the scene, saying things like “I wish you were here right now,” which doesn’t do anything for me. But I think a lot of people would really like this extra dimension that the scene has, judging by the success of “cam girls” and point-of-view videos.

This scene is a toy lover’s dream. April announces early in the scene that she’s brought some of her favorite toys, and then pulls out her Pure Wand and Hitachi. If you’re slightly “toysexual” like me, you’ll appreciate this. I love the moment where April says, “Should I put [the Hitachi] on high speed?” and then looks down, giggles, and says, “Oh, that was high speed!”

April has huge, marvelous tits which she can suck on. She also has some of the most beautiful hair in the business. There’s no shortage of gorgeousness in this scene.

I appreciate that she seems to genuinely love masturbating. I’ve seen porn stars less excited about partner sex than April is about getting herself off. She’s nothing if not enthusiastic. And she has some hella sexy moans.

About halfway through the scene, something hilarious and unexpected happens: April pulls out a replica of her own vulva and proceeds to finger it, lick it, and fuck it with the Pure Wand. I can’t say I can find this sexy, nor can I really understand what made April want to do it, but it’s pretty funny.

While this scene didn’t turn me on, I think there is a niche audience out there who would really enjoy it. If you like POV porn, enjoy the idea of someone putting on a sexy show for you, and/or want to see April Flores lick her own pussy, then yeah, you might dig it!

Sharing the Sexy #4

Kate Sloan

• Some dudes on Sexxit discuss autofellatio. Interesting to see a straight male perspective on this. (Have you seen the autofellatio scene in Shortbus?!)

• Rachel Rabbit White attended a lesbian cougar meetup. I love the way Rabbit writes. “Judith’s eyes glitter and wrinkle at the corners. She looks like someone you might find yourself in an orgy with at an acid-fueled pre-Burning Man loft party.”

• Also by Rachel: a feature on agender people. (For more discussion and resources related to genderqueer or agender identities, Genderfork is terrific.)

• Evil Slutopia comments on Snooki’s baby and some anti-choice hypocrisy among conservative critics of Snooki.

• K wrote sensitively and thoughtfully about her break-up with her long-term poly boyfriend.

• Shit twinks say during sex: “Your dick is so fierce!”

• Someone discovered a creative way to use a Fleshlight. (By the way, the generous people at Sex Toys Canada sent me a Fleshlight which I’ll be reviewing on behalf of my boyfriend soon… Stay tuned!)

• Here’s a massive resource on intactivism. Important stuff to know, given the AAP’s recent statement about circumcision.

• Looks like a bill banning “ex-gay” therapy might get passed in California. Gasp! Are people finally realizing that changing sexual orientation isn’t possible and leads to horrific results?!

• Female Sexxitors weigh in: what’s the best thing about having a vagina?

Lube Week, Day 4: Sliquid Organics Natural

Kate Sloan

The final product in my week o’ lubes: Sliquid Organics Natural, sent to me by Conscious Contraceptives!

This lube is from Sliquid’s line of 100% organic products. Great news if you’re passionate about keeping grossness out of your body! The line includes arousal gel, a thick gel lubricant, a water/silicone hybrid lube, and a warming lube. But today we’ll be looking at the basic model, which is simply called Natural.

It has a thin, runny, liquidy consistency, pretty much the opposite of a gel. This means that it’s probably better suited for vaginal play than anal.

Without any extra moisture, it dries within about three minutes. It can be reactivated with a little spit or water, which gives it another thirty seconds or so. Because of the short lasting time of this lube, I’d again recommend only using it for vaginal purposes; if you apply it at the start of a session and jump right into the action, the lube will probably wear off just in time for your natural fluids to kick in.

I haven’t really found much use for this lube because of how thin and short-lasting it is. If it’s important to you that you only use organic products, then Sliquid Organics Natural is certainly one of the best choices, but I’d encourage you to also check out the gel version because it’ll stick around for longer and be useful for more situations.

Thanks so much to Conscious Contraceptives for sending me this product and most of the others that I’ve reviewed this week! Make sure you read up on their mission so you know what they’re all about (trust me, it’s good!).